Taking in a deep breath, Justin could feel his heart pounding against his chest as he knocked on the cold metal door. He had no idea that Brian wanted to talk to him about and accordingly, he had no idea what to expect. When the door slid back however, his mind went blank. Brian stood before him dressed from head to toe in black. From the tight denim that covered his long legs to the loose shirt that he’d left unbuttoned at the neck.

There was no air in the building. Justin struggled to find breath.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Come on in," the taller man instructed as he moved out of the threshold.

Smiling a little with uncertainty, Justin moved past him and into the loft. As the door slid shut he turned to face his host.

"So what did you want to - "

Justin’s words were cut short by Brian’s sudden grip on him. In one smooth movement the skilled man pulled their bodies and lips together. Eyes wide, Justin was too shocked to respond at first but the familiar warmth and comfort soon overtook the awkwardness and he sighed and closed his eyes, concentrating everything he had on that feeling that he had for so long been without. When Brian pulled away both of them were out of breath. Leaning in again, he kissed the tender indentation of Justin’s upper lip and proceeded to rest their foreheads together.

"I gave it some thought," he whispered against him. "I decided you should take me back."

Justin pulled away so that he could look into his eyes.

"Even though I’ve made some mistakes, I think you’d be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance."

Justin felt like he had been hit by a train and all he could do was continue to stare into the one man who meant everything to him; the man who, with one glance, had changed his life and his world forever.

"Because now I understand what it is you want . . . and you can expect to see different things from me."

The younger man’s breath had become ragged and he bit his lower lip to keep it from trembling. Brian’s hand traveled up from where it had been resting at his neck and cupped the side of his face. Justin wrapped his fingers around that wrist and felt his body relax.

"I want to," Justin whispered. "I wanna come back."

"Then do it," Brian softly insisted.

Justin leaned into the warm hand resting on his face.

"I don’t sleep anymore Justin. I haven’t slept since the night you left."

Justin slid both arms down around Brian’s waist and leaned in to kiss his lips again.

"I can’t have you not sleeping now can I?" he mumbled into Brian’s mouth.

The taller man smiled against him and dipped his head slightly to claim another kiss from the corner of his mouth.

"Do you have any food?" Justin suddenly asked. "I’m starving."

Brian looked at him blankly for a moment before he seemed to remember that he was dealing with a 19-year-old boy.

"Not much," he admitted. "But I think there’s some ice cream in the freezer."

Justin raised his eyebrows a little.

"Vanilla?"

Brian smiled as his fingers moved to slide the coat from Justin’s shoulders.

"Of course."

"You sure you’re OK to do this?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, I’ll be fine," came the unsure answer. "This was going to have to happen sometime . . . I just didn’t think it would really come this fast."

"You don’t have to do it right now, at this instant," Brian insisted.

"Yes, I do," Justin corrected. "I’ll be fine."

Brian paused and then leaned over to plant a warm, comforting kiss on his lover’s mouth.

"I’ll wait here."

Justin nodded and then slid out of the passenger’s side of Brian’s jeep. All the way up to his apartment he practiced what he would say in his mind knowing full well that he would never employ any of his premeditated speech. He unlocked the door, said a prayer to the God he wasn’t even sure he believed in, and opened the door.

"Ethan?" he called out. "Are you here?"

Upon getting no response, Justin closed the door and moved deeper into the apartment.

"Ethan?" he called out again.

"You’re going back to him aren’t you?"

Justin gasped and whirled around to find who he had been looking for standing right behind him.

"Jesus Christ, you scared me."

"Did you come back to tell me that you’re going back to him?"

Not feeling any reason as to why he should lie, Justin honestly answered him.

"Yes."

Ethan sighed and lowered his head.

"I knew it," he began. "I knew it the second you left that you were with him. Justin, are you never going to learn?"

"Learn what?"

"He used you! And now you’re going back to him and he’s going to do it all over again!"

"He never used me, Ethan, I left him because I wasn’t able to understand him," Justin explained. "I couldn’t read his signals, the messages he sent me day after day . . . and even though I still can’t understand them very well, I do read them now."

"Justin," Ethan continued in a softer tone. "I don’t want to see you hurt again."

"Then you have to let me go."

The two young men connected with their eyes and the blonde carefully took a step closer.

"Look, what I pay for this place isn’t much more than for what they’re asking for that shithole down the road. I want you to stay here."

Ethan gave him a questioning stare.

"I want you to live here."

Ethan shook his head in disbelief.

"Justin . . . "

"No," Justin protested. "I want you to. You’re close to school and it’s a nice neighborhood and I’ll be able to visit you as often as I like."

Ethan slowly smiled very slightly.

"You’re insane," he quietly laughed. "Do you know that?"

Justin grinned.

"Sometimes you have to be when you know what’s right."

The violinist smiled and moved to wrap his arms around him. Justin sighed with relief and returned the warmth.

"If he hurts you again, can I kick his ass?"

Justin laughed out loud as Ethan did before he embraced him again quickly and discussed a few fine points before walking out the door and down to the street where his salvation awaited him.

Epilogue

"What the fuck is all over my floor?"

Justin didn’t take his eyes off his newly acquired easel to answer his lover who had just returned from work.

"Protection."

After setting his briefcase down on the counter, Brian cautiously stepped over to Justin amid the crunching sound of the newspapers under his feet. Jennifer had so lovingly bought her son an easel for his beginning into true painting and currently, he was working on converting his "humanity" piece into watercolor.

"You think that will keep you safe?" He whispered in a deep voice, arms reaching around the teenager from behind.

"Paint!" Justin exclaimed causing Brian to freeze in his tracks and withdraw his hands with a sigh. He waited for Justin to turn and make eye contact with him and after a few long moments, resorted to waving a hand before the shining blue eyes.

"Hmm?"

Brian smiled as he looked at him. His clothes and hair were disheveled, eyes wide with excitement and passion, tiny specks of paint on his face, neck and hands. Clasping his chin with his thumb and index finger, Brian pulled his head up slightly to kiss his lips. The younger man’s fingers unavoidably found their way to the side of Brian’s face where they gently made their presence known. Pulling away, Justin smirked a little at the tiny wisp of brown marring his lover’s cheek.

"Gotcha," he whispered moving his hands slightly under Brian’s jacket. "You’d better take this off unless you want your clothes to meet the same fate."

When Justin retracted his hand, Brian’s came forth and slowly closed around his wrist.

"You do it," he breathed.

The blonde looked around for something to wipe his hands with and Brian leaned in again to kiss his forehead.

"Now," came a throaty, seductive whisper.

Feeling the older man’s breath warm against his face, Justin set about his task and within minutes the two had managed to find their way to the large pillows that Brian kept on the floor. Flesh against flesh, they moved against each other, meeting needs with passionate embraces and answering moans with kisses. Afterwards, Brian dozed off and Justin lay next to him, head propped up on his arm, admiring the beauty that his lover was. With a small grin he moved to retrieve a fine paintbrush and after coating it in black, returned to Brian’s side.

His hands found the soft hollow of skin just above Brian’s hipbone. With a smooth hand and the pride of a creator, Justin signed his masterpiece.