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Positive Language - Make It A Habit |
Make positive language a habit, and
you’ll find that life is more ‘polite’ to you too.
Every person has a friend or relative who incessantly find faults with everything: your ideas and your actions. Or at least compulsorily find something to puncture your ideas with. Psychologists call him the ‘naysayer’ – saying ‘nay’, which simply means ‘no’. Simply listening to him will tire you. This is because he is using the most effective of negative tools against you -- words. Words can be used to convey things positively, elicit positive response from the listener and leave a feeling of positivity in the air. Words, combined with the way they are expressed can have a telling effect on your message. Even unpleasant news can be softened with the right choice of words and by conveying them positively. It could give the listener courage to face the situation. Using the negative language pattern is common. Many of our communications begin with, “I am sorry to inform you that we cannot consider your case for want of sufficient documentary proof.” The letter clearly tells the recipient what cannot be done. There is no indication of anything positive or good the recipient may have done. Imagine, instead, being
informed thus: “We appreciate your effort in bringing the problem to our
notice. We understand your problem and would like to help you out.
However, for this we require more information and documentary proofs. The
following is the list of documentary proof required…” Such a response will
leave the recipient feeling happy despite not being able to have his
complaint attended to, simply because he feels that his case has been
given due consideration. Besides, you never know, he might be spurred on to gather the relevant documents and have his problem solved. There could be something in the bargain for you too. Maybe a first in solving a specific kind of problem or case. During the course of an interview, a leading classical musician suggested that the All India Radio (AIR), when sending intimations to people who have not cleared an audition, should mention in the letter where the person had failed – whether it was the pitch, melody or rhythm. But nobody in AIR was willing to take up the idea, because it meant challenge and responsibility. It would not have been difficult to write: “Congratulations on your attempt. While we would love to air your voice over the AIR, we feel that a little more attention could be paid to achieving the correct pitch. We would love to give you a second audition test, after passing which, you’ll be called for programmes at regular intervals.” The message is very clear – that the person has not cleared the first attempt, and positive action with positive consequences has been suggested. Positive phrasing sounds helpful and encouraging. Some examples:
Negative phrasing leaves the person feeling guilty. There is a subtle tone of blame attached to the communication. The words either indicate the person is lying or has been careless or that he expected too much. Some examples include: You have overlooked … (implying carelessness); You have stated that … (implying the person is lying); We don’t see how you can… (much of self-expectations). Words like ‘should, must, ought to, cannot, no doubt, you understand’ and so on has negative connotation. The
use of words, whether positive or negative, reflects the attitude of the
speaker/writer. The more positive your words are, it gives the recipient a
better image of you. Therefore,
let’s begin now. All changes take a little time. How quickly or slowly it
takes us to change depends on us. Let’s
begin by consciously using positive words in our written communication;
soon we’ll find that we are using words positively and effectively in our
oral communication too. |
