Open Mike with Mike Bullard
Michelle Clunie ~ December 11, 2001
Mike: Ladies and gentlemen, our first guest can be seen in the very successful series Queer As Folk. Please welcome Michelle Clunie.
[audience applause and cheering]
Michelle waves to the crowd as she’s sitting down.
Mike: Yep, I tell ya Michelle, we’ve had a lot of Queer As Folk people on and this is the first time I’ve felt really good about it.
[Michelle laughs]
Michelle: I’ll go tell them that.
Mike: Now, you play a lesbian on the show.
Michelle: Yes, I play a lesbian on TV.
Mike: We used to do that around my house.
Michelle: You grew up with a lot of that, huh?
Mike: Yeah, I grew up with a lot. Just don’t say anything about my mom.
Michelle: We’ll keep her out of this.
Mike: Is this the best role - the best role you’ve ever played?
Michelle: It’s certainly the most interesting. I love playing Melanie.
Mike: I find it fascinating.
Michelle: She’s tough. I like being tough on TV. I’m not tough in my real life. I’ve gotta be tough someplace.
Mike: Now, what’s going on with your character?
Michelle: What’s going on with her? She’s, uh, developing this season. We have more love scenes to do.
[Woohoo! from the audience]
Michelle: Yeah? I know. Haha. Every time I get the pages [from the script]....[mouths the words 'oh my god’]
Mike: Just out of curiosity, what nights will those episodes air?
Michelle: What?
Mike: The ones with more loves scenes. What nights will those episodes air?
Michelle: [laughs] You want a schedule, don’t you? Mikey!
Mike: Inquiring minds want to know. Even those kids in the front row.
Michelle: You’ve got a lot of cute Canadian men here, actually.
[cheers and applause]
Michelle: It’s common, you know. They’re all over the place.
Mike: Not to leave any of those English as a Second Language kids out - we’ve got a lot of cute non-Canadian men here, too.
Mike: So, you brought a clip with you. Are we going to see some of your lovemaking in the clip?
Michelle: The clip is, uh, no, actually I didn’t bring one of those clips. It’s a last season [clip], I don’t know if you watched, but we take the baby to the hospital because the baby is sick, and they won’t let Melanie back to go with her girlfriend to be with the baby, and she’s very upset, and she says the ‘C’ word and all that stuff. It's my favorite scene, personally.
Mike: That’s the clip we’re going to see - ‘C’ word clip.
Michelle: ‘C’ word clip.
[audience cheers and applauds]
Mike: Man! That’s good TV. That is good TV. And good for ya, too.
Michelle: [chuckles]
Mike: Good TV and good for ya.
Michelle: Thank you. Thank you.
Mike: Now, does David Crosby guest star on that particular episode?
Michelle: Does he guest star? [laughs] No, we didn’t use him. We use the lead guy on the show, Brian.
Mike: Brian.
Michelle: Yeah.
Mike: I like Brian. He’s been here.
Michelle: No. Has he?
Mike: Yeah, the lead guy. [Ed. - oops! I think he’s mistaken on that one] Hal Sparks has been here as well.
Michelle: Hal Sparks. Hal and you are close now, I hear. I’m kind of jealous.
Mike: Hal and I are pretty tight.
Michelle: You guys have lunch; you have a whole life together.
Mike: Yeah, we have lunch, we have....
Michelle: Is there anything going on there that I should know about?
Mike: Hal and I have...we have a healthy little heterosexual fantasy life together. We have lunch together three or four times a week.
Michelle: [laughing] Hal’s gonna kill me because...
Mike: [aside to Orin, the band leader] We’re going to start getting you to do the plot of Queer As Folk. We’ll see how you do there.
Mike: Now, being a successful actor on a successful series, you must lead one heck of an exciting life.
Michelle: Oh god. Yeah, right. You know, I really don’t. My life is so funny to me. I’m really klutzy and I’m always doing the stupidest things. Like, I’ll lose my cell phone, and then I’ll call myself on my cell phone in my own house. You know when you lose it and you call it to find out where it is?
[audience laughing]
Michelle: And then I’ll go, ‘Oh god, who’s calling me, and I’ll hang up on myself.’ I mean, it’s the stupidest thing. And then I’ll go....
[audience applause and laughter]
Michelle: And then I’ll be, you know when you’re standing in your house by yourself going, ‘I can’t believe I just did that!’ It’s those moments that make me laugh and keep me going.
Mike: I love that. Now, you used to be a ballerina?
Michelle: Yeah.
Mike: It’s not often you hear klutz and ballerina in the same sentence.
Michelle: But dancers are klutzes. You don’t know that?
Mike: No.
Michelle: Have you ever dated a dancer?
Mike: Once.
Michelle: Once or twice?
Mike: Yeah, I’ll be appearing in the Nutcracker with them next week.
Michelle: [laughs] No, dancers, especially ballerinas, are klutzes.
Mike: They are, really?
Michelle: Oh, every...I mean, I woke up in the middle of the night the other night, and you know how you kind of get out of bed and you kind of just go like this, [mimics getting up out of bed], and I’m such a heavy sleeper, and I just kind of went like that and I hit my head into the wall, and then I looked up and, my boyfriend has this art deco lining that’s kind of wavy and curvy, so I thought...[laughing]...I’m going to stop there.
Mike: What...did you have a concussion?
Michelle: No. I thought, ‘whoa, hey, what’s going on?’ I realized there was this, like, scalloped molding that was throwing me off. It is just the stupidest things I experience sometimes.
Mike: Wow. Now, uh....
Michelle: [roars with laughter]
Mike: I’m feeling the same way, Michelle. Do you get to take in the Toronto night life at all?
Michelle: Do I? No. I threw a party for my birthday. That was it.
Mike: Oh yeah. Did you invite yourself?
Michelle: I did, I did. I made sure I was on the list, yeah.
Mike: Who came? The Mad Hatter?
Michelle: No. It ended up like 120 people showed up. There were people I didn’t know who they were. And, then my friend called me from Los Angeles and said ‘Hey, I heard about your party.’ I was like, oh my god. And then it went on ‘til like five in the morning, and uh, it’s interesting when you throw a big party like that and strangers are in your house and you don’t know how to get rid of them at 5 a.m. You keep thinking, ‘oh my god, I’m going to be left here all alone with people I don’t know, and they're all drunk...’
Mike: Do you hang out with Thea Gill outside the set? I know you have some kind of hot, torrid thing on the show, but Thea Gill - she was here with her husband once. She was on the show.
Michelle: Was she? Really?
Mike: She’s hot, too.
[audience laughter]
Michelle: Yeah, she's hot. Yeah, we hang out. Yeah.
Mike: Where?
Michelle: We shop together. We have lunch.
Mike: Where? What day?
Michelle: [laughing] You are so strange, Mike.
[audience applause and laughter]
Michelle: No, we hang out a lot. We do. We hang out constantly.
Mike: Where do you go?
Michelle: We just hang out. We don’t do much. We sit around have a bourbon after the show, after we work....
Mike: I like Bourbon. I had one just before the show.
Michelle: ...and we’ll sing silly songs. Did you? I didn’t see any back there. I was looking.
[audience laughter]
Mike: No, we’re out of Bourbon.
Michelle: That’s too bad.
[audience laughter]
Mike: Now, I understand also that you found love while you were here in Toronto.
Michelle: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did. Am I going to talk about that?
Mike: You bet you are!
Michelle: Is it on the thing? [meaning Mike’s note cards] No, I found love, yeah. It’s been three weeks and I think we’re going to elope in Barbados.
Mike: Atta girl! When did you ask him?
Michelle: [laughing] When did I ask him? You just kinda know. You know when you know, you just go...[snaps fingers]...yep.
Mike: That’s kind of going to mess up the holidays. What are you going to do for the holidays if the two of you elope?
Michelle: I’m going to Barbados.
Mike: What are you going to do after?
Michelle: That’s all I’m doing. That’s it.
[audience laughter]
Mike: You know what? I’m might bite into a Peter Paul Peppermint Patty on the top of a cool mountain.
[audience laughter]
Michelle: Wow, that’s great.
Mike: I tell ya, I’m toast.
Michelle: Are you? So, you’re sick? Are you on – taking anything?
[audience applause and cheering]
Mike: This kind of sick comes along once in a lifetime.
Michelle: [laughing] A special, love sick.
Mike: Love sick - that’s what I am. No, I’ve got a temperature and a half.
Michelle: I’m sorry.
Mike: 102, 103. I don’t know. I had people down in my room at three - I was giving away all my stuff.
Michelle: [laughing] Do you have anything I would want? I’m just teasing.
Mike: [starts to take off his watch]
Michelle: Oh, that’s great.
Mike: It’s all I have left. Hey, you already have a watch.
Mike: No, when are you getting married, really?
Michelle: No, I have no idea, but he’s Canadian...
Mike: How do you celebrate Christmas normally? What do you do?
Michelle: You know...
Mike: You can’t get married every year.
Michelle: What?
Mike: You can’t get married every year. How do you celebrate Christmas normally?
Michelle: I go home to Portland, and we sit around and eat a lot, and drink a lot.
Mike: My sister-in-law is from Portland. My brother’s wife.
Michelle: Really? It rains a lot.
Mike: My brother lives in Los Angeles. They’re going to Salem, Oregon, for Christmas.
Michelle: Oh. I’m sorry.
Mike: Do me a favour, will ya? Take something down for me? I’ll wrap it up.
Michelle: [laughing] Okay, I’ll drop it off.
Mike: Yeah, drop it off to him. I’m not spending twelve bucks.
Michelle: Don’t ask me to do that. I will do that. I do stuff like that all the time.
Mike: The guy’s like a game show billionaire. I’m not spending any money on him. Take it down for me.
Michelle: I will. I love showing up and saying, ‘Hey, so-and-so wanted me to drop this off.’
Mike: So-and-so? It would be nice if you knew their name!
[Michelle and audience laughing]
Mike: I’ve gotta tell you. You’re one of the most limpid beauties we’ve ever had on this show.
Michelle: What do you mean?
Mike: Limpid.
Michelle: Really? Well, thank you.
Mike: You oughtta come back.
Michelle: Okay, I will.
Mike: No, seriously, when you do come back, let me know you’ve been here tonight, okay?
Michelle: You’ve got it.
Mike: Michelle Clunie, ladies and gentlemen.
[audience applause and cheering]
