Here are some Quotes. Some are movie quotes and some are bumper stickers, so have fun reading!
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
When angry count four; when very angry, swear.
Anger warms the Invention, but overheats the oven.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
"if young love is just a game i must have missed the kick-off"
It is not "anti-choice" and "pro-choice" it is "pro-life" and "pro-death".
Born free, taxed to death.
Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!
Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.
Often we have no time for our friends, but all the time in the world for our enemies.
Friends are just enemies that don't have the guts to kill you.
A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There's a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It's frightening.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
In a world of pollution, profanity, adolescence, zits, broccoli, racism, ozone depletion, sexism, stupid guys, and PMS, why the hell do people still tell me to have a nice day?
If you've got nothing interesting to say, learn something that is.
A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
Life is pain, princess. . . anyone who says differently is selling something.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get.
Ten out of ten people die, so don't take life too seriously.
My mind is out to get me.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
There's too much youth; how about a fountain of smart.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway
Save the humans
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Time flies when you don't know what you're doing
I'm in no hurry, I'm on my way to work
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
I may be slow, but I'm ahead of you
If it's tourist season then why can't we shoot them?
Men have feelings too, but who really cares?
Yes, I've heard of "decaf." What's your point?
Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
Without music, life is a journey through a desert