October 27, 2007 10:25 AM
The atmosphere was ominous in the Blood’s kitchen as the various parties
took seats around the table. Buffy and Spike sat holding hands facing Xander
and Willow while on either end of the table sat Morgana and her assistant.
“So, what’s up with you two?” Willow asked. “Asking us over on a Saturday morning is usually not a good sign.”
“Especially with your lawyer here,” Xander chimed in as he looked around the table.
“I need a favor guys,” Buffy said as she leaned forward on her arms with the one hand still clasping Spike’s. “You both know what’s been going on with me and the baby. After Spike and I talked we agreed that the baby’s welfare should come before mine. That whatever was necessary to keep the baby safe is what we would do.”
“Okay and what does that have to with us?” Xander asked.
“If I may explain,” Morgana said and after receiving a nod from Buffy turned her attention to their friends. “Spike and Buffy have already signed papers making him her power of attorney if she should become incapacitated whether mentally or physically and in that agreement is that the baby would come first in all cases.” She paused and took a deep breath. “If it would be physical and Buffy would become brain dead then her body would be kept on life support until the child was mature enough to live on its own outside of the womb.”
“Buffy just becomes an incubator?” Willow asked as her brows furrowed and her eyes darted around the table.
“Will, we’re hoping it doesn’t come to that. It’s just in case of.”
“And like I said before what does this have to do with us?”
“If something should happen to me then one of you would become the power of attorney.” Spike said.
“No, that’s ridiculous, Buf.” Xander said. “Spike is this really what you want?”
Spike couldn’t answer. Ever since they had come home all he could think about was that he was probably going to lose her. There was no part of him that could accept that. Not now. Not after everything they had been through together and every moment made him regret his decision a little more.
“Can’t you see how selfish this is? Spike doesn’t want this.”
“He agreed and if he doesn’t want it, then he should say so,” Buffy replied.
Fear slithered through Xander as he thought about the implications of what
was being discussed. He inhaled deeply, trying to gain control over his emotions
before he spoke and was only halfway successful. “No, because he’s
afraid of hurting you. Aren’t you forgetting about the responsibilities
you already have? The children that are here? Your husband and friends and family.
You’re just going to throw it all away for a baby that isn’t born
yet.”
“It’s my baby.” Buffy shouted. Spike reached for her but she
shook him off. “And it’s my life. Why can’t I choose what
I want to sacrifice? No, it always has to be dictated to me. You decided that
I had to kill Angel.” Her fury turned to Willow, “You decided that
I couldn’t stay in heaven. And now you’re telling me that I have
to sacrifice my child for the lot of you. I’m sorry but I won’t.”
“What if it’s a demon like Wesley thinks? What if you destroy yourself for it and then we have to destroy whatever comes out of you?”
“Stop, please.” Willow pleaded as she watched her friends become angrier by the moment. “Can’t we talk about this?”
“No, we can’t talk about it. It’s my child. What if it was Aidan or Jessy or Jacob? Could you destroy your child?” Buffy cried as the tears fell down her cheeks. She had thought if anyone would stand by her choice it would be her oldest friends. Her defenses were being battered as she wrapped her arms around her. Even Spike now seemed distant from her.
“They are already here,” Xander said softer this time. “Buffy, I don’t want to hurt you but it’s not right that the rest of your family lose you for…”
“A baby that was conceived in love.”
“Spike, tell me what you want. If you can tell me that you stand behind this decision one hundred percent I’ll sign.”
There was a moment of strained silence as they waited for the vampire to speak. He was battling his own tears when he finally lifted his head. “I can’t. I wish I could but I can’t. I’m just so confused.” He knew that he had betrayed her and hurt her with his words as he buried his face in his hands and tried to hide from what was happening.
“You’ve already signed the papers.” Morgana stated. “Buffy, I’ll help you if they try to force this. I can tie it up in court long enough for the child to survive.”
“No, it’s not necessary.” Buffy said as she pulled Spike against her and kissed the top of his head as her hands ran up and down his back. “Make the arrangements then. I can’t fight everyone.” Her eyes closed in resignation as Spike sat back up.
“What are you saying, Love?”
“Tell me where and when to be and we’ll…” she stopped for a moment as a sob engulfed her, “terminate the pregnancy.”
The door to the kitchen opened and Raven, followed by Elijah and Sean, came in making it obvious they had been eavesdropping on the meeting.
“Since they get to decide the fate of our younger sibling, do we at least get a say so?” Raven asked. “Because I think I can already answer the question of whether or not this child is good or some evil monster.”
“How?” Willow asked.
“When are you people going to start remembering Elijah?” She scoffed. “When he first knew of the pregnancy he didn’t feel anything evil or bad, all he felt was good. So, I can’t see how this child could be hurting anyone.”
There was silence as everyone contemplated Raven’s words. It was too much to hope for that it could be explained so easily with Elijah’s empathic abilities. The adults looked at one another because they knew if Buffy’s soul was being shared then the goodness of hers would be within the babe also. Eli sensed things from the babe when he spoke to it but that still couldn’t give them anything definite on which to make this decision. It would still have to come from how much they wanted to trust and how much they wanted to hope that things would end up all right.
“Raven, that may be true but there is so much more going on that the decision isn’t based on just that.” Willow explained.
“Well, we had our own meeting and we decided that we would rather fight for this child instead of taking the easy way out.”
“Thank you,” Buffy said as she smiled at them. “But Xander is right. There is so much going on and it has to be mine and Spike’s decision to make as to what is best and I think we need to talk again.”
Buffy glanced at her friends to make sure they understood that the final choice would be made by her and her husband. Not anyone else.
“That’s fine.” Xander said nodding his head. “If both of you are totally behind the decision I’ll agree and support you but not when I can see it is so divided.”
“Me too.”
Spike stood, “I need to think by myself. I’ll be back later.” He looked at Buffy to wait for an okay from her before moving. When she nodded he kissed her quickly, thanked the others for coming before heading out the door. Since he had found Buffy in the mall, Spike felt like he had been going from one emotional torment to another without a break. And now he just wanted some time away and see that the world was still turning.
Eventually he ended up at the Edge with a whiskey in his hand. The sharp flavor of the liquid as his throat burned made him feel like he was still Spike. Time had taken its toll on them all. They had all changed from who they were when he first was with Buffy. It didn’t seem real that he was married and had kids with another on the way but it was natural progression wasn’t it? You fell in love, got married and had kids. The grand passionate love he used to believe in was now a warm glowing fire that was safe and real. Was he really happier in those five years when the days seemed the same with the same fights, the same sex and the same apocalypses? Or was life more now with the confusion, the noise, lack of privacy, and sex that was appreciated more because there was less of it?
He loved Buffy. Had for a long time and he always would. Finally she had what she had always wanted--a somewhat normal life. Even in that were still the demons, the evil that somehow always wanted the world to end or be swallowed by their blackness, the knowledge of what they had done, and what they had fought. Their nightmares would always be tainted by what they had seen and the sun would be appreciated more for casting out the darkness.
It was always her in the end. The hard steel of her body covered by the sweetest, softest flesh he had ever felt. It was those eyes that could light up his world or tear his heart from his body. In the first pact they had ever made over Angel they had both taken a new path that led them here to this place and time. Good or bad it was theirs. Created by a love that was never meant to be and two battle weary hearts looking for a place to be safe and she was home to him now. There were no regrets. Things he wished had gone differently but then he didn’t. The fighting, the bruises, the blood, the passion, the trust, were all things that had forged them together and as the man had said let no one pull asunder. He couldn’t and wouldn’t give up on her or her dreams. And that child that was creating so much turmoil and hurt was the culmination of her dreams that had taken seed that rainy morning in the cemetery when they had first made vows to each other. The ones they had held onto through everything. This child was proof that they were right in spite of every person that had tried to pull them apart. Even hell and heaven couldn’t separate them and this summer when they had both been willing to give up their lives for the other they had finally crossed to the other side.
To the side of no return.
And if he let the doubts of those people who hadn’t believed they could get this far influence them now then they had lost.
And he wasn’t ready to give up yet. Not on him. Not on her. Not on Raven, Elijah and Sean. Not on the family they had created from friends. And not on this baby.
If they gave up then he could see the beginning of an unraveling that would tear their whole world down and he knew that he would walk through the very bowels of hell before he would allow that to happen.
He was Spike and if nothing else then he believed in love and his promises. And it was time to make some new ones.
October 27, 2007 6:45 PM
He smiled at the pizza boxes on the table and was glad that she hadn’t
bothered to cook tonight. Before he walked into the living room where he could
hear his family he took a deep breath and told himself that this was for the
best. There had been nothing they couldn’t defeat before and it wasn’t
going to start now. He pushed the door open and stepped into the living room.
Buffy and Elijah were curled together on the couch with her head resting on
Raven’s lap and he smiled again as he remembered that only a couple of
months ago Raven wouldn’t have been so close to Buffy if her life depended
on it. And that only made him more resolved that all things could change no
matter how dismal it may appear.
Sean was in his chair and as he started to stand to allow Spike to sit, Spike ran hand down the back of his head and told him to stay. Instead he took a seat at the end of the couch pulling Buffy’s feet onto his lap and slowly started to massage them. The strained silence was for him to break. They were waiting to hear his pronouncement. He waited until a commercial came on before reaching out for the remote that Raven was wielding with all the power she could. Reluctantly she handed it to him and as he muted it everyone’s attention turned toward him.
“Where have you been?” Buffy asked.
“Out and about. Went to the Edge for awhile.” And as she looked at him curiously, “Only had one, Baby. I needed to think not drown.”
She nodded and sat up still holding Elijah to her almost as if he was a shield that could protect her from any more hurt.
“My family made a decision this morning,” Spike said. “A decision that I now agree with. We fight for Buffy, and the baby and this family.”
Buffy beamed her happiness at him as the kids clapped and whistled. Spike reached out to pull her toward him, settling both her and their son against him.
“And with this decision there is going to be some changes around here.”
“Such as,” Raven asked suspiciously. She would do anything that had to be done for this family but she wanted a choice in it.
“From now until this baby is born the only thing I want Buffy to be concerned about is her happiness and health.” He kissed her temple. “Destroy your lists. Me and the kids will do everything. I told you that I wasn’t going to write for awhile and I’m not. I only have to do those appearances that were in the contract but other than that I’m here. Do you understand?”
Buffy nodded as she relaxed against him. “I won’t know what to do with myself but it sounds good to me.”
“You two okay with it?” Spike asked as he looked at Sean and Raven.
They both nodded enthusiastically.
“Okay, then Operation Safe Baby has started,” Spike said as he turned the volume back up. He never thought he would become Mr. Mom but if it would keep his family intact and Buffy safe he was game to try. As he settled back into the couch he watched his family relax around him. If anything would see Buffy through safely it would be the love of her family and that was something that wasn’t in short supply. Not around there anyway.
