December 25, 2007 12:01 AM

Yes, Raven thought as the dusty remains of a slain vampire blew off into the wind. She turned to find out how Connor was doing and was horrified to see a vamp that hadn’t been seen in the confusion approaching him from behind. Taking off at a run, she flipped over a gravestone, and as her partner staked the vampire he was fighting, Raven landed on the before unseen demon and staked him. Unable to stop her momentum, she continued forward, landing on Connor as he turned to see what was happening. She slammed into him and they fell to the ground. They both grunted and took a moment to catch their breath.

Oh, my Gods, I’m on top of Connor. His hands were on her waist holding her steady and she realized with a blush that she was straddling him. And THAT was hard against her inner thigh. Every other time they had found themselves even close to this position, one of them had scurried away. This time she didn’t move. She should. She knew that much. But she didn’t want to. They were both panting and sweaty and her adrenaline was pumping. And there was something definitely thumping between her legs. It never felt like this with Sean and it was making her want something to happen, anything to happen just as long as it eased the need screaming in her blood. Why isn’t he pushing me away? Raven lifted her head and shifted so her face was above his. It was like an explosion when their eyes met and she knew he wanted her just as much. And it was more than a physical reaction. She swallowed and decided to go for it, lowering her head toward his and found herself on her ass on the ground.

“Not like this,” Connor said, holding a hand out to her so he could help her up.

She ignored it.

“Like what?” She asked, scrambling to stand with some dignity.

“Not without thinking. Not as a reaction to a situation. Besides I promised your mother,” he said and headed toward her house.

“You promised my mother what?” Raven asked in a tone that would have sent her brothers running. Okay, can’t get a response one way, I’ll get it another.

She stopped and hoped he would too. They were in the middle of the backyard and if he went inside then this conversation would never happen. He stopped, eyeing her warily.

Good let him be scared because I’m not playing nice anymore.

“I promised your mother that I wouldn’t take advantage of you. And I intend to keep it.”

He stepped closer and she took a step back.

“You discussed my sex life with my mother.”

“You have a sex life? Something you haven’t told me?”

That pissed her off. First he rejected her and now he was teasing her.

“Maybe.”

Raven crossed her arms and leaned back on one foot. Her hair was tossed, oh so casually, over one shoulder and then it was her turn to be scared. Connor was only inches away and she could see his pupils dilate with anger.

“No one had better be touching you.”

“What difference does it make to you? You haven’t claimed me.”

“I haven’t claimed you because you are still a child that likes to tease and play games when you have no real clue what you’re doing.”

Why couldn’t she breathe? Why was the world spinning? Did that mean he did want to claim her?

“I’m not a child.”

Why did her voice come out in a squeak?

He laughed. His eyes running over her and letting her know that was exactly how he saw her. A little girl not to be taken seriously and it hurt.

“And what makes you think I’d want you to claim me,” Raven lashed out. “You’re just a silly boy that thinks he’s a man when you can’t even…oh, you can’t even keep a girl for more than a couple of weeks.”

She knew the words had hurt him and she was instantly sorry. She wanted to cry and forget these last few minutes but she wouldn’t do it in front of him but as she walked away he grabbed her arm.

“Why do you do this?” Connor asked. “Why does everything have to be a big production? I planned something and now it’s all…I shouldn’t have expected anything else.”

He planned something? For us?

It took a moment for her to realize that he was walking toward the house.

“Connor wait, please?” Raven darted in front of him. “I’m sorry. I am. I just get all riled up and it has to go somewhere.” Taking his hand she led him to the steps. After they were settled, “Talk to me.”

Connor shrugged his shoulders and she squeezed his hand.

“I don’t want to be your Angel. I want to be your Spike.”

“Huh?”

He laughed as his eyes caressed her face with what could only be love in their depths and she felt a softer warmth move through her. It wasn’t the hot flash of need but a comfortable heat that you find from sunny days and wool blankets. She smiled at him and scooted closer. He didn’t object.

“I know my logic probably sucks but I listen.” Connor said. “I’ve listened to all the stories that this family tells and it’s like your mum. She and my Dad fell in love right away. And they got together right away. There wasn’t anything between them but that love and when things got bad and confusing the love alone wasn’t enough to get them through it and they fell apart. With Spike and Buffy, they knew each other for a long time. They fought all the time but at the same time, there was a level of trust there because they worked together. She knew what his strengths and weaknesses were and he knew the same about her. By the time they made a commitment, they had all these experiences together, memories between them, good and bad. So, when things are rocky, they have all those things connecting them and holding them together until they find their love again.”

“Oh.”

What could she say? Raven leaned forward, letting her long hair shield her for a moment while she tried to get her thoughts together. It made sense in a weird sort of way. She knew that there was no way her Dad would let her date Connor now. She didn’t want to sneak around. Even if she wanted it, she wasn’t really sure that she wanted to be having sex right now. Her whole life was still in the process of settling into this new life and into being a Slayer. And most importantly, she did need Connor patrolling with her more than she needed him to be a boyfriend. With tears in her eyes, she looked at him and nodded.

With a grin Connor reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

“For me?” Raven asked.

When he nodded she took it from him and opened it slowly. It was her first gift from him and her first Christmas present in this new life and she wanted to enjoy it. It was a charm necklace.

“I found it in this pawn shop. I know no one wears them anymore but…”

Her fingers separated the charms on it. There was a tiny cross, a heart and a small dog charm. It was perfect.

“Thank you. I love it.”

Impulsively she hugged him and his arms encircled her. Connor helped her put it on and she ran fingers over it lovingly. It was then that he took her hand and led her into the backyard again. The moon was full and they stood in its light.

“What’s going on?”

“There is something else,” Connor said, almost shyly. “I want us to have memories between us. Something to hold onto until the time is right. I talked to Buffy about it and she knows.”

What is it with him and my mother?

His lips were on hers and she yelped, pulling away.

Where the hell did that come from?

“What are you doing? What happened to that big speech?” Raven asked. Every nerve in her body was on red alert. He was kissing you and you pulled away. Idiot.

Connor chuckled, his hands on her hips, drawing her closer.

“It’s your first Christmas in Sunnydale. It’s the first Christmas that we are going to share. And we are standing under the moon on Christmas morning and I want to remember our first kiss this way.”

Raven nodded.

This time she didn’t yelp, act surprised or pull away. Connor was only the second boy she had ever kissed. Well, the first man she had kissed. He knew what he was doing unlike the fumbling she’d shared with Sean. Her toes curled in her boots as his tongue danced along hers and she melted against him. It was okay because he was holding her, coaxing her along until she was bold enough to stroke his tongue with hers. One of them moaned and she hoped it wasn’t her because she was lost in the sensations and didn’t want it to stop because she was being stupid again.

Raven wasn’t sure how long they kissed but she knew her life was never going to be the same again. She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his neck when it was over. She was home. She never had to be scared of being alone again. Her lips curved into a faint smile and she knew that even if it took them years to be together it was going to be worth the wait.

December 25, 2007 7:46 AM

Spike was twitchy. And Angel was no different. They both kept fidgeting and every once in a while their knees or hands would collide. Face it. You could play the game, call it the holidays or pretend it was just a commercial thing but two demons sitting in a circle on Christmas morning celebrating HIS birth and souled or not they’d be ready to climb the walls. If it wasn’t for the love of the women flanking them or the love of their children they’d never do this. It was unnatural for vampires to embrace something holy.

He shook his head as he watched Raven open another present. The leather duster was already being worn over her pajamas. There was loot all over the living room, in piles behind each recipient. This circle thing was Raven’s idea and they had followed along to make her happy. She had already gathered forces in Sean and Connor when she presented it to the adults, so here they were sitting around the Christmas tree. Eli was free to play with his toys and only came back when another present was found for him. Even the dog was sitting on Connor’s lap enjoying the chew toy she had been given. Sean was the one passing the presents around and everybody waited in expectation as he pulled another one out.

“This is for Buffy.”

The box was put in front of her and she eyed it with a gleeful look. The presents under the tree were growing smaller and already his wife had accumulated a leather bound journal from Max, clothes and other little things she wanted. Even if no one else saw it, Spike could see the disappointment in her eyes when she saw it was from Angel and Cordelia. Buffy was hoping for something special from him and hadn’t received it yet and as there was less to open, she was becoming sadder. But she rose to the challenge and laughed and joked as she ripped the paper off the gift in front of her.

“A bread machine,” Buffy said. Her eyebrow arched up as she viewed it.

“Well, your becoming a lot more domesticated and home made bread smells really great,” Angel said.

In other words, there is no way I am giving you anything that might make Spike jealous. It was like the journal from Max, it was to record her life with her family. It was a safe present.

“Thank you. We’ll definitely use it around here.”

Spike picked it up and put it behind her. A box was put in front of him and he checked the tag. It was from Buffy and she was nervous as she watched him open it. There was nothing on the box to indicate what it was and he pried it open. His eyes flew open as he saw the leather bound volumes of books. Carefully he pulled one out. It was a first edition collection of Tennyson poetry. In total there were five books, all rare volumes of poetry from the time when he was human.

“Do you like them?” Buffy asked.

He turned stunned eyes to her. It was amazing that she would do this for him. These were books that he had loved and had read over and over. He remembered telling her about them one night and wondered how she could have memorized the titles. It clicked. Of course, she had his memories and every want and desire that he had ever had was locked in that brain of hers.

“Thank you,” he whispered. It was all he could manage through the lump in his throat. He kissed her cheek and hugged her tight.

“Angel found them for me,” Buffy said.

“Well, then,” Spike said, turning to his Sire. It started off as a joke as he kissed Angel’s cheek but as he wrapped his arm around the older vampire, something changed and it became a serious gesture of gratitude. The hug was returned before they realized what they were doing in front of everyone. They released each other reluctantly because they knew a barrier had been broken down and a new friendship was being born between them. Maybe there were miracles after all.

The rest of the presents were passed out, a negligee for Cordelia from Angel that made her and Connor blush, more toys for Elijah, and a body pillow that Spike had gotten for Buffy so she could sleep easier. As the last present was opened, his wife leaned against him and he squeezed her thigh. She was hurt that there wasn’t something more from him. Spike caught Raven’s eye and winked at her.

“Mum, you haven’t opened the presents in your stocking yet,” Raven declared, seizing it from the mantel and handing it to her mother.

“Later, maybe, I need to…”

“Open it, Babe,” Spike urged.

Buffy glanced at him, suspicion and disappointment warring in her eyes and dumped the stocking out. There was something stuck in the toe and she reached in to pull it out. Her eyes opened wide at the distinctive blue box. With fingers shaking she pulled the ribbon off and opened the box. Inside was the jeweler’s box and by now Buffy’s entire body was shaking. Spike smiled as she flipped the lid open and the tears were falling as she saw the diamond engagement ring for the first time. A princess cut in a tiffany setting on a platinum band to match her wedding ring. Buffy looked at him and it wasn’t happiness reflected in those emerald depths. It was sadness.

“What’s wrong?”

“Did you have Angel buy this for you?”

Spike tilted his head as he tried to figure out what she meant. Then he knew. She wanted to know if the ring was a salve for his guilty conscience.

“God, Buffy,” Spike exploded, but stopped at the hand on his knee and he calmed himself by taking a deep breath. “No, I bought it in when I was in New York. The Tiffany’s on Fifth Ave.”

He could show her the receipt. Cordelia could back him up because she was on the phone with him when he was looking over the selection. Even Raven could be an alibi because she had known for weeks and was the one who told him to put it in her stocking. But he wanted her to trust that he wouldn’t lie to her so he waited.

She believed him. Her eyes lit up the way he had imagined and her grin went from ear to ear.

“Well, are you going to put it on me?” She asked, holding her hand out. It fit like it was made for her. There was nothing better than the joy on her face as everyone admired her present. He settled back and watched his family in action. This was his life and after he had let go of his fears he realized he loved it with a ferociousness that made even the demon in him quake in fright.

December 25, 2007 8:45 PM

It had been a day of gluttony and Buffy could barely move but she forced herself to put her feet on the coffee table and lay her head on the back of the couch. Cordelia was hardly moving herself on the other end and they were both in total contrast of the teenage girl sitting between them. Raven was on a high that wouldn’t stop and had wanted to talk to her for hours. This was the first moment of privacy that had been found all day. Elijah was sound asleep, Sean and Connor were on the computer and the three men were in the kitchen cleaning up.

“Okay, you two, if I spill you have to promise that you won’t tease me or let him know that I told you,” Raven declared.

Buffy and Cordelia shared a conspiratorial look behind Raven’s head as the girl looked from one to the other. They both gave a solemn nod to her request. With a squeal Raven drew her legs up and leaned back into the couch.

“He kissed me, oh my gods, it was great.”

“So, I take it ‘he’ is Connor?” Buffy asked with a smile, knowing perfectly well who ‘he’ was.

“And that you’re happy about it?” Cordelia asked.

“Of course and yes,” Raven replied.

It was good to have a moment of happy and Buffy settled down to listen to her daughter describe in minute detail everything that had happened during patrol last night. Every few seconds her eyes would wander to her hand and the diamond ring that shone on it. She still couldn’t believe that Spike had given it to her. It made her want to squeal like Raven was doing over Connor. She, Buffy Summers, had an engagement ring on her finger and it surpassed every dream she had once had of her perfect ring. If he hadn’t been back in her heart before Spike certainly was now.

“Mum,” Raven called, snapping her fingers in front of her face.

“Sorry,” Buffy said and smiled, “Got lost in my own ‘Oh, my God’, moment here.”

Cordelia and her daughter both smiled and they once again admired her Christmas present. A noise sounded from the kitchen and all three looked toward the door. The radio was on and someone was turning the volume up. And Angel was singing along. Then Spike joined in followed finally by Max.

“How much eggnog did they have?” Buffy asked.

Sometime in the afternoon Max had commandeered a jug of the drink and added a liberal amount of bourbon. The three men had been imbibing all afternoon but with the amount of food that Spike and Max had eaten it should have soaked up most of it. Maybe they were just trying to make Angel feel better since as usual he hadn’t eaten.

Cordelia shrugged and muted the television so they could listen better.

Happy people pass my way
Lookin’ in their eyes
I see a memory
I never realized
How happy you made me, oh, Mandy

“It’s Angel’s favorite song,” Cordy informed them.

“You’re kidding, right?” Buffy asked. “He never told me. And he used to make fun of me and my boy bands.”

Raven was giggling nonstop and as they sang the chorus, Buffy and Cordy joined her. The men were singing louder with every word.

Well you came and you gave without takin’
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shakin’
And I need you today, oh Mandy

The song ended and although the radio stayed on, there wasn’t anymore singing. A few minutes later the kitchen door flew open and Max came running in. He headed for his bag and the women watched as he pulled out jeans and sweatshirt.

“We’re going to play football and Angel needs something to play in,” Max explained on his way back to the kitchen.

“Football?” Buffy asked. “This I have got to see.”

Buffy followed by her daughter and Angel’s wife headed for the kitchen. Angel was pulling the sweatshirt over his head and his discarded clothes were on the floor.

“Honey, don’t you think you should have changed in the bathroom?”

“Had to show these wimps what a real man looks like,’ Angel said, shrugging.

“Uh huh,” Cordy responded.

Angel was in faded jeans and a sweatshirt, both were a little snug on his bigger frame but he looked almost human dressed like that. Buffy saw a glimpse of the man he could be and hoped he would continue to change like Spike had.

Raven wanted to play and it was her argument of her strength and agility that won her the right. Sean and Connor joined in and it became a free-for-all in the backyard. No one knew how to really play except for Max so it was more of a game of chase. Cordelia and Buffy sat on the steps and ignored the repeated requests for cheers.

“I know my age unlike some husband of mine,” Cordelia laughed.

“That’s not what you said last week when you were showing me those routines in the bedroom,” Angel teased.

“Angel, watch out,” Buffy called but she was too late.

Spike and Max had taken advantage of his distraction and had tackled him. Everyone laughed as the vampire was buried beneath bodies as the kids seized the opportunity and jumped onto the pile. It was a perfect ending to a day as the family broke down barriers of roles and learned to play together.

December 25, 2007 11:23 PM

Their bedroom was empty and a quick check revealed that Buffy wasn’t upstairs. Spike headed downstairs to search for his wife but she wasn’t in the kitchen. The study door was closed and he headed back into the living room. Max was stretched out on the couch but there was no sign of his wife.

“Have you seen Buffy?”

“A little while ago in the kitchen,” Max explained, “she was complaining because there wasn’t any milk left. I told her we’d get some in the morning.”

“She’s gone. I can’t find her.” Spike looked to see if her purse was on the hallway table. It was still there but her wallet was gone as well as her jacket. A quick glance to the alarm pad showed it hadn’t been set. “Damn it. She’s taken off.”

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry. It didn’t even occur to me that she’d go and get some. I didn’t hear the van start up.”

Opening the door revealed the minivan and the Desoto both still in the driveway.

“Not your fault. I forget to set the alarm before going upstairs. I’m going to go and look for her. She probably headed to the little store on the corner. I’ll call if I need help.”

Max nodded as Spike headed for his motorcycle. He remembered thinking that they needed to pick up some more milk before bedtime but he had forgotten. Buffy had gotten into a habit of drinking a glass every night before retiring. The roads were thankfully clear as he ran the stop sign on the corner and slid through a yellow light before pulling into the parking lot of the convenience store.

With relief he saw his wife standing at the pay phone and he pulled to a stop in front of her. In confusion he watched as she looked at him with frightened eyes. He walked toward her and she dropped the receiver and backed up. Her hands splayed on the wall when she ran out of room.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy whispered. “Please don’t hurt me.”

Spike stopped in his tracks. “I’m not going to hurt you. I was worried about you. Did you get the milk?”

Her eyes darted to the phone and he saw that there was a gallon sitting on the shelf.

“You’re not going to punish me?”

“No, Pet, I just want you to come home. Who were you calling?”

Buffy hesitated for a second while looking anywhere but at him. Finally her gaze stopped somewhere at his feet. “I was calling you. I was cold.”

Spike took in his wife’s appearance. She had to have been in the middle of changing for bed when she went downstairs because under her jacket she was wearing her sweater, pajama bottoms and fuzzy pink slippers that Sean had given her for a present.

“It’s a bit chilly out tonight, isn’t it? You ready to come home?”

He took a step toward her and she tried to disappear into the wall. Her eyes were still wide in fright and her tongue darted out to moisten her lips.

“Is he going to hurt me?”

“He who?”

“Angel.”

“Why would Angel hurt you?”

“I’ve been bad. I was told to stay at home and I went out. Please don’t be angry with me.”

Buffy looked for all the world like a little girl caught doing something reprehensible and who was waiting to be turned over someone’s knee and it was tearing him apart. He missed the girl who was so strong and independent. Even at times he wished she’d punch him in the nose just to show him who’s boss. But he also knew that this frail creature before him was also a part of who Buffy really was underneath of that tough girl. This frail creature was who she would have been if she didn’t have the Slayer persona to cover the hurt given to her by the men before him and life in general. He shook his head.

“No, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”

He reached a hand out to her and she contemplated it for a moment before taking it.

“I’m sorry for disobeying. The baby needed milk.”

Her free hand rubbed her stomach as he led her to the bike. Spike strapped the milk to the back before climbing on in front of Buffy.

“Hold on, Love.”

She wrapped her arms around him and scooted as close to him as possible. Her face was pressed against his back on the ride home. It was as they approached their street that he felt her tears soaking through his shirt.

“I don’t want to stop,” Buffy whispered as they pulled into the driveway. “I want to go on forever.”

Spike kissed her quickly and told her to stay put. He took the milk into the house and told Max they’d be back. Climbing back on the bike, he could feel his wife’s excitement as she held onto him again. Freedom was becoming something foreign to her as well as free choice and this was something that he could easily give her. The road was clear of traffic and time didn’t matter as they rode along the coastal highway becoming one with the night. Their problems were lost behind them somewhere in the wind and the sound of Buffy’s laughter was the sweetest thing that Spike had heard in a long time.

to be continued…