September 22, 2007 9:35 PM

The birthday girl and the three women filed off the stage feeling relief that their embarrassing moment in the limelight was over. Raven ran toward her father and Buffy watched as he swung her around in a bear hug telling her how wonderful she was. She quickly kissed him on the cheek before running back to her friends while her mother approached Spike cautiously.

Buffy was hoping that when she had seen Angel walking toward Spike that they were going to talk but she could see he was talking to Lorne instead. With a sigh she came to stand in front of her husband.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Spike said with sarcasm dripping heavily from his words.

Buffy looked around for a moment to gear herself up for what was to come before looking back up at him. “What was the look for then? The glaring look at me when I walked by a little while ago.”

“You kissing someone else.”

“God, Spike, are you ever going to get over this thing with Angel?”

She was tired of it, tired of defending herself and defending Angel and their past and tired of defending Connor.

“It wasn’t the fact that it was Angel. It was the fact that you kissed someone else, anyone else, when I’m made to feel like I’m repulsive.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“For what? Jumping to conclusions? You should be.”

“You’re not repulsive.”

“To you I am and you are the only one that counts.”

Buffy saw the hurt in his eyes and hear them in his words. Taking his belt in her fingers she pulled him closer, “Don’t touch me,” she whispered as she rose on her toes and pressed her mouth to his. With only their lips touching she was able to give him some of the affection he was craving and still not overwhelm herself. He took her offering for what it was and kissed her back. And when they realized that this could only go so far without bringing him more frustration they broke it off. Spike left several lingering brief kisses behind him, reluctant to end this gift from her.

“I’m going to run an errand.” Spike said.

“Now? We’re going to cut the cake in just a minute.” Buffy protested.

“I’ll be back in time but right now you have something else to deal with.”

He was pointing behind her and Buffy turned to find Dawn and Josh standing awkwardly by the corner of the house. And as Spike slipped off, Buffy made her way toward her sister with Raven coming to join her.

“Hi,” Buffy said giving a quick look at Josh then turned her full attention to her sister.

“Hey,” Dawn said with nervousness underlying her words. “Spike said I was invited and you left a message, so here we are.”

“I’m glad that you came.”

“I brought a present for Raven,” Dawn said as she handed a gift bag to her. Then she reached forward to hug Raven grasping her close for some sign that she was still welcome here.

“Thank you. I’m going to go put this with the other ones. We’ll talk later.” Raven said and then after receiving a nod ran off with her present.

“I’m going to go and get a drink. Catch up with you in a few.” Josh said. He gave his wife a quick kiss on the cheek before walking off to give the sisters a chance to talk.

“I’m glad that you came. I’ve missed you.” Buffy said.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

Buffy pulled her sister to her in a welcoming hug knowing that Dawn needed to be hugged more than she needed not to be touched. It filled Buffy with hope that things between Dawn and the family were going to be settled. As it was she could feel the looks that were being sent their way as everyone else wondered what was going on.

“Come on let’s go find your husband.”

“And lead me through everyone so they know that you’ve welcomed me back into the fold,” Dawn said with a slight touch of sarcasm.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?” Buffy arched her eyebrows delicately as she looked at her younger sister. The last time that they had seen each other Buffy had thought that they had settled things and that embarrassment that had kept her away.

“Spike said you were pregnant. Congratulations.” She hesitated for a moment then, “I’m sorry, it’s just a bit uncomfortable being here.”

“It’s okay.” Buffy said with relief. It was embarrassment after all. “Let’s go in the house first. I have got to show you the sonogram picture of the baby. You know Spike cried when he heard the heartbeat?”

Buffy changed the subject to something that Dawn seemed interested in and gave them a respite by taking her into the house until at least they were comfortable with each other again. Later Dawn could face the family again.

~~~~~~~

September 22, 2007 10:15 PM

The cake had been cut and Dawn was making the rounds talking to everyone, letting go of the past month and a half of estrangement. After talking to Buffy, she was reassured that she was really missed and was eager to get back into the flow of things. Everyone had welcomed her back at Buffy’s blessing and now were catching up on the time apart.

Spike had kept his promise and had returned in time to sing Happy Birthday to Raven along with everyone else. They were now sitting together on the porch eating birthday cake and discussing when to tackle the mountain of presents.

Observing what everyone was up to, Buffy slowly walked through the guests, making small talk as she went. Every once in a while she could feel Angel’s eyes on her but she ignored it. If he needed to talk to her then he would. As she spoke with Mrs. Davis, one of the Chickies, she overheard a conversation behind her between Xander, Willow, Anya and Tara and they were discussing her baby.

“If the baby was conceived before he changed, is the baby going to be half vampire?” Anya asked.

“No, of course not, the baby is human. Vampire aren’t born they are turned.” Tara replied.

“Yeah, but it could still have like super powers or something.” Willow says.

“What would you call it if it did? A slampire or a vlayer? “Xander jokes.

Although Buffy had wondered if the child would be completely human or possess some of her and Spike’s abilities the cavalier way her friends discussed her baby and referring to him or her as an it, just made her angry. Buffy quickly excused herself from Mrs. Davis to head to the house for a moment alone, fighting the urge to yell at them. She told herself that she could talk to them later and not ruin Raven’s evening. As she climbed the steps Raven called out to her.

“Mum, we need some more ice.”

For an instant she wanted to tell her to get off her butt and get it herself but Buffy pushed it aside as she watched her daughter and Spike on the swing eating cake and laughing together.

“Okay, give me just a second,” she said, not really wanting to break up the father / daughter moment.

Buffy headed for the freezer and grabbed another bag.

“Damn it,” The cubes had frozen into a solid mass and she put it in the sink to break it up. It was just one more thing that was irritating her as she grabbed a knife and started to break it apart. Buffy started to think about the comments made about her baby and without realizing it her breaking up of the ice became a frenzied stabbing.

“My baby is perfectly normal. How dare they? They were making my baby sound like some kind of freak. I’m not a freak. Spike isn’t a freak. And, God damn it, my baby is not a freak.” Buffy repeated the litany as the ice flew apart under the force of the knife.

“Buffy, are you all right?” Connor asked as he came toward her cautiously. His hand covered her wrist to still her movements. “I think the ice is ready. And the sink doesn’t need to be stabbed.”

His presence broke her out of her fog and embarrassment flooded through when she saw what she had done.

“Shit. I think I killed it.”

Connor laughed softly and started to fill a bowl with the ice.

“They were joking, you know that, right?” he said.

“I know they were but it still hurt.”

“They think I’m a freak,” Connor turned to concentrate on the ice away from Buffy’s intense stare.

“You’re not a freak just a very special gift. Thank you for reminding me of that.”

“You’re welcome.”

The relief on his face and his attempt at consolation showed Buffy how alone Connor still felt in the world. Not only that but he had still been unable to accept the love of his father and family.

“I think you’re going to play a very important part in this baby’s life helping him adjust.”

He smiled and with the bowl of ice left her alone to pull herself together.

~~~~~~~

September 22, 2007 10:52 PM

“Dawn, I love the outfit, thank you, thank you,” Raven said as she hugged her aunt. “I’m so glad that you came and not just for the prezzie but because I’ve missed you. There has been so much going on and I could always talk to you.”

Dawn laughed at Raven’s enthusiasm but it made her feel good to know that she had been missed. Even though Buffy had done everything to reassure her that she really was needed and a vital part of the team, it was hard to read everyone. The Scoobies had welcomed her but a part of her still felt that it was because they had to because she was Buffy’s little sister. Raven’s openness was genuine and it definitely helped put her more at ease.

At least until Spike looked at her again. She still couldn’t believe she had told him how she was really feeling. Those feelings that she had been holding onto for what seemed forever and was supposed to have been a secret and would continue to be so if he only would keep his mouth shut about them. Dawn was more afraid that Buffy would find out or the others and they would pat her on her head and tell that she needed to grow up. She was a grown up and now having a grown up love she knew what those feelings meant and she knew that they had been more than just a puppy love crush but no one else would ever see it that way.

She shook her head and pulled her mind from her ‘forbidden zone’ and tried to concentrate on what Raven was rattling on about. High School. Slaying.

Dawn laughed at the appropriate moment and then grew sober when Raven asked about the Human club at school.

“Yeah, they are still around unfortunately. They’re planning a protest in a couple of weeks. Makes me mad that they are still around.” Dawn was actually more embarrassed that the scene of her major family betrayal was memorialized apparently for good.

“Protest? What kind of protest?”

“They are going to be protesting what they consider a breach of their humanhood by allowing some demons onto campus. And the funny thing is that the new students look human so I don’t know how they even know for sure if they are really demons.”

Raven suddenly snapped her fingers, “Let’s do a counter protest. An equality for everyone kind of deal.”

“You’re joking right?”

“No, I’m serious. Come on. If we let this go then the Soldiers are just going to take foothold again and everyone that they even suspect are demons are going to be run off. Like me or Sean or Connor. Get into this with me and the family will back us. I can’t do it alone.’

“Yeah, I’ll do it.” Dawn agreed. Not only was Raven’s enthusiasm catching but maybe if Dawn started fighting for the rights of demons she could redeem herself in the family’s eyes and show everyone, including Spike, that she wasn’t just a kid.

“Oh, cool, this is going to be so great. Let’s go find the guys.” Raven grabbed Dawn’s hand and led her off to find them.

~~~~~~~~

September 22, 2007 11:14 PM

The party was breaking up and Angel realized that he needed to do something now. He searched the backyard for Cordelia and when he spotted her he set a path toward her.

“Angel, darling, meet Mrs. Armstrong,” Cordelia said with that smile of hers that showed her surprise and tolerance while her eyebrows were high. “Mrs. Armstrong, this is my husband, Angel.”

“Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Armstrong,” Angel grimaced. This was why he avoided parties. Unless they were in trouble and in the very select few, he still preferred to avoid the company of humans especially ones that were going to be for a short span and was only for a polite show. “I don’t mean to be rude but I need to speak with my wife. It’s important.”

Delores smiled her acquiesce and moved off as Angel grabbed Cordy’s arm and started to pull her off.

“Thank you, Angel, I love people. Really do but I was beginning to feel grilled. Hey, ease off on the arm there.”

Cordelia pulled back from Angel as he finally stopped. She began to rub it as her husband looked around to make sure they were alone.

“I need you to get sick.” He said as if she would understand what he meant.

“Excuse me. I feel just fine.”

“Look Lorne, read Buffy while she was singing. She’s in danger.”

“And I’m supposed to get unattractively ill, why?”

“Cordelia, honey, tonight is their daughter’s birthday party. The first one they have had a chance to celebrate as a family and I don’t want to talk to them about impending doom tonight.”

“So, you want me to appear ill, so we can stay here and protect your ex-girlfriend.”

“Well, yeah.”

Cordelia sighed and looked around. “Fine, point me to the bathroom.”

~~~~~~~~

September 23, 2007 12:30 AM

The house was finally blessedly quiet. Buffy was seriously beginning to think about buying the lot next door and building a hotel on it. As much as their house was constantly filled it would be a worthy investment. She padded across the hall and stepped into her bedroom. Her mouth dropped open as she looked around and knew this was why Spike had disappeared during the party.

There were two pedestal fans, one for each side of the bed, which would blessedly blow cool air over her body while she slept. Buffy wandered over to the nightstand and picked up one of the boxes stacked there. There were ten Cool Packs there for her to put on her body if she was still too hot. Tears filled her eyes at her husband’s thoughtfulness.

“Now, where is he?” She muttered to herself as she looked around for a note or something but there wasn’t any. “Okay, fine. I’ll go find him.”

Buffy went first to Elijah’s room, quietly opened the door but only Fred was there curled up in her son’s bed. In Raven’s room there was only her and Elijah curled in the middle of the bed.

“Everything okay, Mum?”

“Yeah, just checking on everything before going to bed.”

“Night.”

“See you in the morning.”

She closed the door, quickly checked the store room then headed downstairs. Nope, he wasn’t in the dining room.

”Hi guys, have you seen Spike?”

Max and Sean turned away from the movie they were watching. For a brief moment she saw panic on Max’s face as he remembered the last time she had asked.

“It’s okay. He’s around him somewhere.” Buffy reassured him.

“Nope, he hasn’t been through here. If we can help let us know,” Max said.

“Thanks again for letting me stay.” Sean said.

“You’re welcome, Sean. I appreciate all the help you’ve been giving.”

The teenager had been allowed to spend the night so that Lorne could go home with the witches and have an actual bed to sleep in instead of the floor where Sean would be sleeping.

Buffy moved down the hallway toward the study where Angel and Cordelia had been put to spend the night. She was about ready to knock on the door when she heard the springs of the pull out couch squeaking and Cordelia giggling. Quickly she turned and headed toward the kitchen.

“Am so not going to even ask,” Buffy said as she checked out the back porch. She knew he wouldn’t leave the house without letting her know. Not since they had found out about the baby had he been very far away.

The only place she hadn’t looked was the attic. The two staircases were taken as fast as she could as she hoped that he was there. And as she opened the door she was relieved to find him. Spike had made a bed in the middle of the room apparently thinking she would be more comfortable without him in their bed. She studied him for a moment, the moonlight making his skin paler than it actually was anymore. A sheet was pulled up to his waist and she could tell by the way it laid against him that he was nude under it.

Slowly she walked over to him and as she came closer she realized he was awake and watching her. Buffy thought about calling him on the fact that he had left her alone but she didn’t want a confrontation. She wanted the company of her mate.

She sat on the edge of the sheet with her legs curled under her and her hand resting on his stomach.

“Do you have any idea of how amazing you are?”

Spike’s eyes opened a little wider in surprise but didn’t say anything. He wanted her to say more. To reassure him that she still loved him as much as ever. Inside he knew it. He just wanted to hear it.

“A few months ago we would be fighting over this and even though you sometimes get grouchy about it, you keep fighting forward instead of pulling back. It makes me love you even more.”

She felt him relax under her hand. The words were becoming important now in absence of the physical. Buffy bowed her head as she thought for a moment. Then she let her hand pull the sheet back exposing him to her.

“I want you back downstairs with me. I refuse to sleep without you.” Her hand began to stroke him, enjoying the feel of him hardening in her palm. “I need you beside me. My safety and my security.” She shifted to kneel between his legs as he drew one back to give her more room. The look of surprise and anticipation on his face only filled her with more love. “I love it when I look at you and I see all that love and patience and raw need for me. Only me.”

Then she bent over him, taking him into her mouth, and she smiled around him as he moaned in need while his hands clutched at the sheets.

Buffy gave him everything, all of her love, licking and sucking his length. She loved the taste of him, the power she had over him as he submitted to her, the feel of his sac in her hand, and the small entrance way giving way to her finger as she stroked him to fulfillment.

When she had swallowed all he had to give her, Buffy moved over him, kissed him softly and whispered, “This I can give you. Can we go to bed now?”

TBC