June 15, 2007 4:17 AM

Buffy woke to find herself pinned in her coffin again with the lid on top of her. Panic raced through her as she wondered if there was enough air for her to breathe. Her arms were pinned leaving her unable to lift it off of her and there was no give as she tried to squirm her way out from under the crushing weight. How could they do this to her? Bring her back only to leave her here to try to fight back to the surface. Her mind raced through ways to find a way out of it while her eyes searched the inky blackness of her tomb for a clue. Where was he? He would save her. He always did.

Then a scream shattered her aloneness startling Buffy from her own desperate state. Someone was crying out for help, pain and horror reflected in their words as they tried to fight their own living nightmare. It was definitely a she, Buffy decided, as the screams became ear splitting shrieks.

It was her job as the Slayer to help people but all she could do was lie here pinned in this grave her friends had left her in. Buffy told herself that Spike was helping this girl that was why he wasn’t there yet to get her out. He would come for her as soon as the girl was safe. She relaxed a little until she looked up into the darkness and into the yellow eyes of Spike’s demon laughing down at her. Her terrified scream echoed with those of the girl.

The girl’s next scream woke Buffy from her own nightmare as the girl called out for her mother and father to return.

Buffy shook her head to clear the images of her own dream from her mind. The cries of the frightened girl were coming through the baby monitor sitting on Spike’s desk. Reacting to the sounds of Raven’s nightmare Buffy tried to sit up only to find she was pinned under Spike’s sleeping form. He hadn’t moved since they had fallen asleep hours ago. She shoved against him trying to force him awake quickly.

“Spike, it’s Raven. She’s having a nightmare.” Buffy told him as she pushed against him.

The words penetrated through his sleep waking him with a quickness born of battle conditioned necessity. He stood quickly fastening his jeans as Buffy raced out the door pulling her robe around her. By the time she was halfway up the stairs Spike was beside her.

Buffy was first through the door of Raven’s room and hurriedly took stock of the situation. Raven was curled on the bed with her head in Elijah’s lap. Her small body was wracked by the force of her grief. One of her hands was clinging tightly to one of her brother’s hands. Elijah’s other hand stroked her hair while he whispered to her that it was all going to be okay.

“Raven?” Buffy called softly out to her as she approached the bed unsure of what to do for the girl.

Raven looked up at Buffy through her tears while her free hand suddenly rose from its resting place against her chest. The next thing Buffy knew she was flying across the room. She hit the wall with enough force to knock the wind from her before crumpling into a heap on the floor. Shaking her head Buffy tried to get her bearings as she slowly rose to her feet. When she looked around she found Raven glowering at her, anger and loathing burning brightly in her blue eyes searing its way into Buffy’s heart.

“Bitch. I hate you. Get away from me. It’s your fault. It was your kind that did this. My mother and father are dead because of you.” Raven screamed with all the pain that filled her soul. A voice inside her whispered that it wasn’t Buffy’s fault but all she could see when she looked at the Slayer were the men that had murdered her parents.

Raven rose on her knees and started to crawl down the bed toward Buffy while still clutching her brother’s hand. Her other hand slowly rose toward Buffy again when Spike realizing that she was going to attack again reached out to grab it in his own hands pulling it upwards.

“Get out, Buffy. Now.” Spike yelled at her as he wrapped his arms around Raven pulling her back down onto his lap on the bed.

Buffy scrambled toward the door knowing that it was a possibility if Raven hadn’t been stopped that she could be dead or severely injured by the girl’s wrath. Not looking back she continued to stumble to her own room not stopping until she came to sit on the side of her bed. The sound of Spike’s voice soothing Raven reached her as she wrapped her arms around herself. Rocking back and forth she tried to bring everything back into focus. The nightmare, followed by Raven’s own dream, then the girl using magical powers on her was going to take a little while to shake off. Her hands moved to cover her face as she refused to give into any more tears.

“You okay?” Elijah whispered suddenly appearing in front of Buffy. He put his small hands on her knees as he looked at her in concern.

Buffy pulled her hands away from her face startled at his presence, not having heard him walk in, then in an effort to reassure him that she was all right, she ran her fingers softly down his cheek.

“Yeah, I’m all right.”

“She didn’t mean it. She’s upset.” Elijah said defending his sister.

“I know, baby. It’s okay.”

Buffy picked him up so she could settle him on her lap in an effort to comfort them both. There were things she wanted to know about Raven and him. Their powers were something that the adults hadn’t discussed that night.

“How strong are your sister’s powers?” Buffy asked as she cuddled him next to her.

“She doesn’t have any. Borrowed mine.”

“What do you mean she doesn’t have any?”

“No. She like Poppie. No power. I have magic like Mommy. But sissie can use if she touches me.”

Eli’s hand ran up and down Buffy’s arm ruffling the terry cloth of her robe.

“What can you do magically?”

He raised his small hand and as he told her marked them off on his fingers.

“I can move things, see things befowe they happen and I know when people hurt.” He told her reciting his list. He looked up at her solemnly. “Did Spike hurt you?”

“Spike hurt me? Why would you even ask?”

“He bit you.”

“Oh.” Buffy said in surprise. It was disconcerting that he could know things so personal making a mental note to talk to Willow on how to block this particular thing. “No, he didn’t hurt me. We were playing and he startled me, that’s all.”

She looked up as Spike walked back into the room.

“Is Raven okay?” Buffy asked in concern. She was trying to honestly care for Raven even if she was trying to pin everything wrong in her life on Buffy.

“Yeah, she’s calmer. She wants Elijah to come sleep with her though.” Spike smiled down at the boy and held his hand out for him.

Elijah slid off Buffy’s lap then once he was standing turned to face her. He held her cheeks in his hands as he leaned forward to kiss her.

“Good night, Buffy.”

“Night, sweetie.” She hugged him to her relishing the sturdy feel of his little boy body.

After they left the room Buffy grabbed some pajamas and underwear before heading for the bathroom. She needed to clean herself up before putting anything clean on. After wetting a washcloth she wiped the dried blood from the inside of her thigh with a grimace. Her fingertips traced the bruising around the puncture wounds noting a tear in her flesh from where Spike had dug his fangs into her. It looked like he had wanted to literally take a bite from her body. Once the wound was cleaned and antibiotic lotion applied she slipped into her pajamas.

On her way back to the bedroom she threw her robe and lingerie in the dirty clothes reminding herself to find her panties in the study before one of the kids did. That was one explanation she did not want to make.

She could hear Spike talking softly to the children in Raven’s room as she returned to the master bedroom. Glancing quickly around the room she debated between trying to get some more sleep, reading or watching some television.

When she spotted Spike’s cigarettes on the dresser, Buffy made her way towards them before she changed her mind. Deciding the harsh taste of nicotine was what she needed to clear the nightmares from her mind she headed for the windows so the smoke wouldn’t linger in the air. The images of being in the coffin again were intermingled with those visions created by her imagination of Raven’s parents being murdered. Throw in the terror she had dreaming of Spike wanting to drain her, Buffy’s nerves were shot as a shudder ran through her small frame as she pulled the window open.

The warm night air danced across her face as she knelt before the window resting her forearms on the sill. She shook a cigarette out nestling it between her lips so she could light it. The flame of the lighter glowed in the night as it hissed against the end of the cigarette. Buffy inhaled quickly to keep it lit before letting the lighter drop onto the window sill beside her. The smoke curled down into her lungs for the first time in years making her cough in reaction to its unfamiliar burn. Although after only a few inhales the once recognizable invasion into her lungs was a welcome one.

Buffy knew the moment he stepped back into the room not needing the sound of his footsteps to confirm it. Every nerve ending, every instinct she had, came alive as he came closer to her. It was almost like her body was created to be molded, connected, to his. Buffy waited until he came to her enjoying the feel of her nerves jumping toward him.

Spike padded across the room as if he had no choice but to be drawn to this human that was his. His eyes opened in surprise at seeing the cigarette resting comfortable between her fingers. She was his fallen angel pushed almost beyond what she could comfortably handle. The proverbial tugging feel of responsibility to hold her together invaded his being. Since he had returned from escorting Drusilla to Europe, Buffy had been his to take care of, to keep her sane and whole in this world that refused to let her go. It seemed that taking care of someone had always been his role in this world. It had started with his mum, and then moved to Drusilla, to Buffy and now there were two children looking to him. He wondered briefly if any of them had actually wanted him around or if it was just what he could do for them.

His hand came out to caress her hair letting it linger for a moment across his fingers. The golden softness was a source of some of his more erotic dreams. It was a curtain around them as she rode him, tickling across his flesh as she moved over him. For him she had let it grow until it now floated around her hips when she walked.

Buffy never turned around as he stood there enjoying the feel of almost being connected to him by the charged air around them. Disappointment drifted though her languidly as he broke from the enchantment surrounding them and came to sit beside her with his back against the wall and his legs stretched out in front of him. He reached for the pack of cigarettes and brought one to his mouth after shaking it loose from the others. As he looked around for the lighter green eyes connected with blue ones with all the force of two universes colliding. The shock they both felt at the meeting reminded them of the sheer power that existed between them. As partners they were almost undefeatable as they fought the forces of evil, as lovers they burned more fiery passion than any other pair in history but ironically the only thing they had yet to fully conquer was their friendship.

Not breaking eye contact Buffy brought the lighter slowly up to his cigarette, his hands meeting her to cover hers as she lit it for him. The flame illuminated the angular planes of his features, showed the sharp contract of his black eyelashes against the alabaster of his skin, the twist of his lips as he inhaled the smoke. Her heart swelled with pride with the knowledge that he was hers. As the first sweet rush of nicotine filled him, he turned to look back up at her. Her emotions were evident as she stared unabashedly at him making his body respond to her. Spike wanted to take her as he had wanted to take her earlier with raw, painful, all consuming sex that would leave them bleeding. But it couldn’t be for them. While she had gone to see Sara, her therapist, it had been decided to keep pain from the bedroom so Buffy wouldn’t escape into it. In order to keep her recovering from her depression he had suppressed a lot of his own needs.

He sighed leaning his head back against the wall before closing his eyes. Her arousal came to him sweetly enticing him from his thoughts of the games he wanted to play. His eyes searched for her only to find her leaning out the window again seductively making love to the cigarette. Her lips teased it as she sucked it’s essence from it. The white cylinder responded by hissing out it’s enjoyment as it gave up the fight to her slowly letting itself die as it’s cherry rushed toward her in its effort to please her.

Desire raced through Spike as he observed the erotic scene. Her eyes were closed as the night air danced around her making her hair play along to its eternal tune. A rush of love so strong, so needful, coursed through him that he had no choice but to move toward her so that he could touch the perfection that was Buffy.

As he turned toward her his eyes saw the beginning of morning flickering on the horizon over the cemetery and knew that their brief moment of peaceful truce was almost over. Whether in love or hate or need or anger rarely was there peace between them or in their lives. And now this brief respite was almost gone too.

“Do you want to take a shower with me?” she whispered softly to him not turning to face him as she asked.

A smile floated across her lips as she ground her hapless substitute lover against the side of the house. Spike laughed at her seemingly innocent invitation knowing that within a few minutes he would once again be partaking in the wonders of her body.

“Yeah.” He told her as he flicked his cigarette out into the yard then reached for her hand.

June 15, 2007 6:45 AM

After their shower Spike had only put on a pair of jeans and socks then went to lie on their bed to watch her get ready for the day. She moved back and forth across the room as she pulled on clothes. Today she had chosen to wear blue cotton bikinis and a matching bra, a long sleeve denim shirt and a pair of faded jeans. Her feet were still bare as the pink polish on her toes winked in the light as she moved. With brusque motions she began to apply a minimum amount of make up. He smiled contentedly as he reflected on how much he loved this part of the day, watching her go from the soft kitten that shared his bed to a woman capable of taking down hell gods. At the last stroke of her lipstick she turned to him.

“Braid my hair?” She asked almost shyly. His hands moving through her hair always made her feel erotically closer to him. Their time in the shower had done little to satiate either of them. Only made them crave each other more as he had held her against the slick walls with her legs wrapped around his waist while he took her.

A predatory smile crossed his lips as he moved to stand behind her. His hand took the brush from her as he tamed the tangles. Hands capable quickly moved the mass of her hair into a practical braid that would hang almost all the way down her back.

As he finished wrapping the band around the end to hold it together, Spike put his arms around her waist with his head resting on her shoulder. He smiled as he looked at Buffy in the mirror. There were indentations along her body that showed where his arms were but in the reflection there was only her. Moving so that his hands were spread along her belly he slowly brought them up to cover her breasts. They rested comfortably in the cup of his hands as he squeezed them softly watching the indentations into her body in the mirror. His mind began to fantasize that they were larger overflowing around his hands. Their weight was heavier as they rested on top of his palms. Spike let them go as his hands traced the indentation of her waist down to her hips. Spike outlined the curves with his hands moving around to hold her bottom wondering what they would feel like if they were fuller and rounder. If there was more to hold onto as he thrust into her sweet flesh.

An arm came around his neck as Buffy arched back into him. In response to her call his arms snaked around her waist again pulling her further back against his hardening sex. His fingers went to caress her through her jeans while he began to nuzzle the neck so open to him. The blood that rushed through it called to him telling him to take what he wanted. With still unchanged teeth he scraped along her flesh causing a moan to vibrate from the very neck that he was suckling. With a self satisfied grin he looked up so that he could see the lust that he brought to her face only to find himself looking into the face of the woman’s body that he was fantasizing about. Donna.

It had been Donna that he had been thinking about as he traced the body that was in his arms. Then as horror swept through him at what he had done he once again saw Buffy in the mirror. Thankful for once that he had no reflection so that she wouldn’t see his guilt he released her with a soft kiss to her neck.

“Later, I have to go start breakfast for the kids.” Buffy giggled at his amorous touches. When he released her she turned to kiss him quickly before walking away.

He watched the sway of her hips as she moved away from him. Swallowing away the guilt he felt he went to look for his cigarettes needing a moment of privacy before facing his betrayal. He loved Buffy, had loved her for almost ten years, and had lived with her for five; his whole life consumed by her for what seemed forever, how he could even think of someone else was beyond him. They had just finished making love not even an hour ago.

His eyes closed as his head tilted and his shoulders rolled as he came to terms of what had been simmering for the past twenty-four hours, hell had been simmering for five years, and then had been brought to a rolling boil since he had seen her again. He wanted Donna, had wanted her since he had first seen her staring at him on the airplane. The open longing that she had for him only made the wanting more intense. He wouldn’t need to beg for her attention or her body. They would be freely given to him. As he had five years ago he pushed his feelings away because it could never be. It was a fact he would have to face because of Buffy. His life was here with Buffy, the children, the Scoobies and the house. He had become as normal as any human.

With a shock he realized that he had truly become what he had never wanted to be. It had slowly snuck up on him as he had become a part of them, as he lived each day as more human than vampire. The demon took over him as the knowledge swept through him. The urge to destroy something raged through him without a way of releasing it. The need to find what he desired licked at his body. A wish to run consumed him as he forced himself to shake his human features back into place and the demon to be repressed.

This was his life now by choice. Regardless of some of the uncontrollable circumstances that brought him to this new place, it was his nonetheless. Not knowing what else to do except live it, Spike moved to go downstairs to join Buffy.

TBC