Chapter 13 – Suburban Weekends
June 17, 2007 2:45 PM
It was the second day after Buffy had told him to leave but where was he to
go? The freedom he wanted was his for the taking but there was no one place
that called to him. Last night he had finally found the courage to call Donna
using the pretext of Raven’s nightmares as an excuse. Donna had seen through
his deception as they talked though she let him take the lead. Spike couldn’t
find the courage or the willingness to say the words, ‘I want to see you’,
and had ended the call rather quickly. Her laughter at his discomfort had taken
him back to his human days again and his frustration had grown. Before they
hung up though she had told him that The Guardians were sending her to Japan
at the end of the week and after that she would be ‘unavailable’.
For the second time in as many days, he had been given a time frame by a woman
and both expected him to decide a lifetime in only a few days.
The sound of a car door opening and laughter drew him to the living room window. It was Buffy returning from her outing with the children. He had still been sleeping when she came to tell him they were going to do some shopping. Then she had looked the other way when she had told him that Xander and his family and Dawn and Josh would be coming over for dinner. She felt that it was time for everyone to start meeting the children and if they wouldn’t be together then it would be a good idea for Xander and Anya to have a chance to meet Raven and Elijah before she asked the couple to adopt them.
As she was walking out the door Buffy had turned back to look at him.
“Please be there.”
One eyebrow rose and a smirk had crossed his face at her request. He had assumed that she was too embarrassed to tell everyone of their potential breakup.
“They know about us. I am asking for Raven and Eli. They don’t need to know anything yet.”
It felt like someone had punched him in the gut at the thought of everyone else knowing what he had done to her. They accepted him on his own as a part of them but now after this he didn’t know what they would do. He knew Dawn would be beyond livid with him and that she felt a sense of responsibility for him and Buffy being together and had been his staunchest ally in his pursuit of her sister.
Buffy’s sigh showed her impatience of waiting for him to reply so that she could leave.
“I’ll be there.”
A quick nod and she was gone. He had lain there as he listened to them get ready to leave, the closing of the door, then the car doors and finally the Desoto backing out of the driveway.
“We are going to need a new car now.” Spike thought out of concern for them before he remembered that they weren’t his concern if he didn’t want them to be.
He had roamed the house aimlessly while they were gone telling himself that he really couldn’t go anywhere until nightfall anyway. Then to placate himself he made a promise to himself to go somewhere tonight after the dinner and the kids were asleep. The slight niggling of missing them was repressed. They were what he wanted to be free from so there was no way that he felt lonely without them in the house.
But now they were home and he moved to open the front door for them as they brought packages in from the car. As Buffy moved into the house he reached for some bags to help her but she pulled away from him and muttered that it wasn’t his responsibility anymore. His hands fell uselessly to his sides as he turned to head for his study. Rejected and alone he told himself he didn’t need her.
“Spike, hey, are you busy?” Raven asked as he moved away.
“No, why?” He asked almost hurriedly.
“Buffy let me get a new PlayStation game and I thought we could play.”
“Okay, princess. Finish helping Buffy and I’ll wait in the living room.”
“Thanks.” Raven turned to hurry back to help unloading the groceries and the other things they had bought so she could get to the fun stuff.
Spike changed his direction for the living room trying to ignore the feeling of contentment he felt now that the house was full again. He sat on the couch reaching for the remotes to turn everything on when Buffy came into the room walking toward him.
“Here on the receipts for what I bought. If you want, keep a total and I’ll pay you back later. I already have Tara setting up a new class schedule for me.” Buffy wasn’t really sure what the rules were at this point. She had expected him to take off on Friday but he was still here although they were keeping distance between them.
The remote control was tossed back down on the table as Spike exploded at her words. He stood to look down at her about to shout before hearing Elijah in the next room his words came out as a harsh whisper.
“Bloody hell, Buffy, I don’t expect you to pay me back. As long as you are living here I told you I would take care of you.” The irony of his words was lost on him as he felt only irritation at her attempt at independence.
“And I told you that you were free from any responsibilities concerning me because you wanted it that way. So, I’ll pay you back.”
Buffy dropped the receipts on the table before heading back to the kitchen. He had to get out of here he told himself as he sat on the couch leaning his head on the back of it. A strong shot of whiskey, a few good games of poker with some unsavory blokes and a pretty bar maid to wait on him was what he needed. A trip to the Edge was defiantely his destination after his family duties tonight.
“Are we still going to play?” Raven asked hesitantly, noticing Spike’s foul mood and not wanting him to get mad at her.
“Yeah, we are. Sorry I was just thinking bout something.”
They spent the next couple of hours playing her new game. He rarely had to help her out as she moved through the game with a tenacity of a bull dog. Spike listened to the sounds of Buffy starting to prepare dinner in the background. Her voice was gentle as she kept Elijah busy at the same time. Spike’s irritation had grown reminding him of why he didn’t want to be here anymore. His eyes occasionally drifted toward the clock hoping that time would suddenly fly so he could leave.
“Hey, Spike, Buffy, you home?” Clem called as he came up the hallway toward the living room. After he had caught the couple in a compromising position once or twice he started announcing his arrival as soon as he came through the basement door.
Smiling as he heard the sound coming from the PlayStation he hurried down the hall but as he rounded the corner he froze as he saw Spike sitting on the floor next to a girl he had never seen before.
“Uh, am I interrupting something?” Clem looked around wondering where Buffy was and why she had left Spike with some other girl.
Spike turned to look at him relieved that he had a friend around. A demon friend.
“No, mate, come on in. I want you to meet Raven.” He gestured Clem to enter with one hand while he put one hand on the girl’s shoulder so she would turn around to meet his friend.
Raven paused the game shifting to her knees so she could look around. Her eyes opened wide and her mouth dropped as she saw a demon come to sit on the couch behind them. The Slayer allowed demons in her house? Surprised she turned to look at Spike as he grinned at her.
“Raven, I want you to meet Clem. He’s a friend of mine and Buffy’s. He lives in my old crypt in the cemetery. It’s connected to the house so he’s around here a lot.” Then he turned to Clem eagerly anticipating the shock Clem was going to receive. “Clem, I’d like you meet Raven. Buffy and I are planning on adopting her and her brother, Elijah.”
Clem gave Spike the reaction that he was looking for as his mouth opened just like Raven’s had a moment ago.
“Wow, hibernate for a couple of days and everything changes.” Clem smiled at the girl relieved that the situation wasn’t what he had been expecting, namely, that his friend had been having an affair but once the girl had turned around he knew that wasn’t what was going on as he saw how young she was.
Before anymore could be said between them the front door banged open.
“Buffy, we’re here.” Dawn called out purposely not saying anything to Spike. When Buffy had called her crying this morning Dawn had been more than ready to stake a certain vampire. Okay, maybe not stake him because that would hurt Buffy even more but a definite beating would be in order.
Buffy came out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a dish towel stopping as she saw not only Dawn and Josh but everyone in the family come traipsing through their front door. What was supposed to be a small gathering had become a family reunion rivaling Christmas dinner. Her gaze turned to Spike and they looked at each other for a moment before Buffy shrugged her shoulders trying to convey that this wasn’t her idea.
Willow came over to Buffy holding a covered dish in her hands.
“We know we weren’t all invited but word got out that you were ready to introduce the children and the…and well, we couldn’t resist seeing how things were going.” Willow handed the dish to the astonished Buffy. “But we all brought some extra food since you weren’t expecting us.”
The family pushed into the living room hugging Buffy and greeting Clem. Mostly Spike was ignored except for looks, some of curiosity and some of anger, and he once again felt like the outsider he had been years ago.
Raven and Elijah were introduced to everyone as they stood close together. Elijah’s thumb was back in his mouth and his arm was again wrapped around Raven’s leg. They were wide eyed as they took in these people who were going to be their family. These people were loud and noisy and affectionate as they were greeted by everyone and welcomed into their midst.
Aidan and Elijah took an instant liking to each other and took off for to play in Elijah’s room. As they hurried off Elijah was busy describing the new toys that Buffy had gotten him that day. Raven wished there was someone closer to her age in this crowd of people but Dawn stuck by her and then dragged her off to help unload her car. The older girl started to ask a million questions that the ‘adults’ wouldn’t think to ask being no longer hip to current trends.
“Hi, Spike. Are you doing all right?” Tara asked with a hand on his arm breaking him from his thoughts. “You look kind of out of it.”
“Yeah, I guess you could say that.” He smiled down at the blond witch grateful knowing that if anyone in this family would still be nice to him it would be her. Reaching over he took Jacob from her arms. “Hey, buddy, miss me?”
The now 13 month old smiled shyly and nodded his head at his Uncle Spike. His sweet agreement was rewarded with an overhead swing and laughter from the man holding him.
“Me next.” Little Jessica pulled on Spike’s pants legs not wanting to be left out of the games. Spike ended up sitting on the floor so that both children could play with him. Their nonsensical babble and talk was taken seriously as the cuddles and kisses went both ways.
The family settled around the living room and kitchen talking and laughing. The afternoon continued as they all relaxed with one another. Finally Spike was included in the conversations as they become more comfortable around him again. It didn’t hurt the situation that Buffy wasn’t acting any differently around him with the exception that they weren’t affectionate like they normally were. He didn’t seem to be any different than he was at any other time. It was like he was still apart of them and not someone who wanted to leave it all behind.
It was after dinner and after he had given up on anyone giving him lectures that Dawn cornered him. He had headed toward his study for a break to check his email but as he passed the bathroom Dawn had caught up with him. She grabbed his arm and hauled him into the room swinging him until he caught his hip against the counter.
“Damn it, Dawn. What the soddin’ hell do you think you’re doing?” He bit out at her as he rubbed his hip.
She reached up to grab him by the front of his shirt and threw him back against the wall before coming to stand face to face with him.
“No, you son of a bitch, it’s what the hell do you think you are doing to my sister?” She spat.
“Come on, Dawn, give me a chance to explain.” He told her hoping she would let go of him. Even if he could fight back he wouldn’t. Not that he was afraid of someone else retaliating but because he loved her too much to hurt her.
“No, you don’t need to explain. I already know the answer. You are thinking with your damn dick instead of your heart and head. Buffy worships the ground you walk on and you are in heat for some slut.”
Dawn pulled him forward a little then slammed him back into the wall again. Then she let go of him turning to sit on the edge of the tub.
“I don’t understand it. Spike, you walked away from her five years ago, why now?” Her voice cracked as she stared in disbelief at the man she thought of as her brother and she couldn’t help feeling betrayed as well.
Spike sighed as he looked down at the floor. It was hard when someone constantly put you on a pedestal to try to live up to their expectations. He went to sit on the toilet next to her reaching out to take her hands in his.
“It’s been hard these past few months, Niblet. I just feel caged.” He stopped because he still didn’t understand everything he was feeling himself.
“Do you love her?”
“Donna? No.” He stared at Dawn in astonishment that she would even ask him that.
“No. Buffy. Do you still love my sister?”
“Of course I do. I’m always going to love her.”
Dawn searched his eyes looking to see if he was telling the truth. Once satisfied that he still did love Buffy she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper holding it out to him. He took it from her unfolding it slowly and as he read the words his eyes opened in astonishment.
“These were being passed out in the quad yesterday. It seems like they are beginning to put feelers out for followers here.” Dawn said as Spike stared at her then back down at the flyer.
It was for a new club being formed at the University called ‘Celebrate Your Humanity’. The club was described as an organization for people who wanted to celebrate life and being human.
“Spike, listen to me for a minute with a clear head. We’ve been doing some research into these SoL people. Something isn’t adding up and although we don’t have any proof yet we have a pretty good idea of what’s going on.”
Dawn waited until she was sure that she had his undivided attention before proceeding.
“Don’t you think it’s kind of odd that this Donna woman has been holding a torch for you for five years even going as far as to keep tabs on you? I know you’re special but that special?”
“Hey, thanks, give a guy’s ego a good stroking.”
“The only person who needs to be giving you any kind of stroking is Buffy.” Dawn chuckled and then sobered again. “Then Donna shows up one day out of the blue with two kids for you and Buffy to adopt. Buffy said that she knew that if she didn’t agree to it that you would probably have married Donna for them. That’s a little weird for me.”
Spike turned his head removing his hands from hers as shame moved through him. Even he couldn’t fully explain the idiocy of such an idea. It was just such a strong vibe that moved through him that night that these children were his and he had to do whatever it took for that to happen.
“Spike, why didn’t they kill Raven when they had a chance to do it?”
“What do you mean?” Neither he nor Buffy had really read through the file yet and they hadn’t asked Raven any questions yet.
“Raven doesn’t have any powers unless she touches Elijah, right?” Dawn already knew that she was right because Buffy had filled her in on everything but she waited until after Spike nodded before she proceeded. “From the newspaper accounts of the murders, their parents were shot in their backyard, before they had a chance to fight back. Raven had hidden Eli in the attic when she saw the shooting from her bedroom but the police found her in her closet. Why didn’t they search the house and kill her then? She couldn’t have fought back. Why wait to follow her around the country for three months?”
“Maybe it’s because she was a kid.” But then he remembered that Donna had said that the SoLs had known that Raven had seen them and that’s why they wanted her dead. His eyes met Dawn’s as the questions started to organize in his mind. He stood and paced the small room but as he turned to go back Dawn was standing in his way.
“What happens when you are in battle and Buffy does this?” Dawn held her hand out behind her but before Spike could answer she continued, “And what does she want when she calls your name?”
“Help.”
“So, what would happen if you weren’t there? None of us can take your place beside her. We can try but we can’t do it.”
“What are you saying, Niblet?”
“I’m saying that Donna is conveniently nearby when these kid’s parents are murdered to take care of them. That for some reason Raven was spared at the scene but is now being followed. That when you and Buffy are having trouble in your relationship Donna mysteriously shows up on your doorstep with the one thing you and Buffy want. Kids. Then lets you know that she is still lusting for you. Have you talked to her since Friday?”
“Yeah, last night.” He ignored the angry look in Dawn’s eyes as he finished explaining. “She said the Guardians are sending her to Japan the end of this week.”
“So, if you go with her, you would be with her in Japan when the SoLs hold their first meeting in Sunnydale next week. The one place where people have a knowledge of the demons whether they admit it or not and are more likely to want to join them which would make their organization mainstream and make them stronger to branch out in other places.”
“But Donna works for the Guardians. They are the ones who are fighting for good Demons.”
“Donna left the Guardians two and half years ago and rejoined about 15 months ago which is about the time the Soldiers of Light appeared.” Dawn held his gaze letting the seriousness of the situation show in her eyes. “Spike, she is trying to separate you and Buffy.”
“Bloody Hell!” Spike said right before he slammed his fist through the bathroom wall. After extricating his hand from the wall he leaned forward with both hands on the undamaged part of the wall.
“We need to tell Buffy.” Spike looked over at Dawn watching him in concern. Never in his life did he feel as much of a fool as he did at this moment. And he knew as soon as he walked out of this bathroom the feeling would intensify as he faced his family.
“Giles is talking to her right now. Now, you may not like it but we have come up with a plan.”
Dawn then began to explain to Spike what they had come up with to find out exactly what was going on.
~~~~~~~~~~
Meanwhile across the house in the dining room Giles was having the same talk
with Buffy. He had already explained to Buffy his suspicions of Donna’s
possible involvement with the Soldiers of Light and was now finishing explaining
the plan they had come up with.
”Buffy, as much as I hate to say it I think the best way to find out what is going on with her is for Spike to be with her. If she thinks that he is there of his own free will then she might slip up or he might be able to find something out.”
“No, Giles, I am not going to willingly send Spike to that woman.” Buffy told her former watcher vehemently. It was inconceivable that this was the plan her family had come up with; for Buffy to throw Spike out of the house and for him to turn to Donna.
“Buffy, we need to know and that’s the only way to get close enough to her.” Giles hated asking Buffy to do this with all the problems she and Spike were having but they couldn’t come up with anything else. Since Spike had told him of the children and how they had come to be with them he had his suspicions. He immediately had Willow and Dawn start doing research on these Soldiers of Light and on Donna. It was just too coincidental for him how it had all come about.
“What about the judge and Morgana? Are they legitimate?”
“Yes, they are. And the adoption would be legal too. As far as we can tell it’s just Donna working both sides.” Giles knew from Buffy’s question that she was worried that if the adoption went through it wouldn’t be legal and she would eventually lose the children that she was already considering hers.
“But why separate us? Why not just kill us?”
“We are assuming that since they are setting up camp here in town that they are going to try and out you as the Slayer. Then announce that you are a traitor to humans by being with Spike. They can use him as an example that you can’t trust a demon. They don’t have the morals that we do. That they don’t value family the way we do because he walked out on you and the children.” Giles tried to explain what his suspicions were concerning this group. They didn’t have a lot of facts but if Donna was working for them and had brought Raven and Elijah here then they had to have a reason for it. This was the only thing to him that made a whole lot of sense. To use the couple somehow as an example for what they felt was wrong.
Buffy stood crossing her arms as she stared out the window. It was like they had been set down in a surreal version of her life. To think that Donna was deliberately involved in something so horrible was disturbing. As much as Buffy disliked the woman, she had befriended Spike when he gone to get his soul and had helped him out as much as she could. It seemed inconceivable that she was now trying to destroy him.
“Giles, why Spike? Why would Donna do this if she’s now a Soldier? Spike would be everything she is against.” Buffy turned to look at the man she hoped would have all the answers she needed.
“I don’t know Buffy. I can only surmise that they have some plan for him once he would be with Donna. Something that would end…badly.” He didn’t want to tell Buffy that he felt that they would eventually destroy Spike in another attempt of proving that demons can’t be integrated with humans.
But Buffy knew without him saying what would happen to him. Tears gathered in her eyes and she didn’t try to fight them. They rolled down her cheeks as she thought of what might have happened to Spike if he had already gone to Donna.
As soon as Giles saw Buffy breaking down he rushed to her side pulling her into his arms. After all the couple had been through it wasn’t fair that they had to deal with this too. His hands gently rubbed her back as he waited out her tears.
Suddenly she pulled back wiping her tears harshly away. There didn’t seem to be any other way to find out what they were up to except to send Spike to the woman he wanted to leave her for.
“Let’s do this.”
Then she turned to leave the dining room to join her family again.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Dawn, I can’t do this. I can’t leave Buffy now.” Spike protested the plan adamantly. He had never walked away from Buffy before during a fight and was afraid that by going he would leave her vulnerable. After he had fully comprehended what Dawn had told him relief had swept through him that he didn’t have a decision to make anymore. It had been taken out of his hands. No matter what he wanted he would stay as long as Buffy and the children were in danger.
“There isn’t any other way, Spike. We have to know if Donna is involved and what they are up to.” Dawn told him emphatically. She hated this idea of sending Spike into the arms of a woman he had always wanted but she had to believe that his love for Buffy was stronger than any lust he could have.
Spike finally nodded knowing that she was right. There didn’t seem to be any other way to find out what Donna was up to. He was just afraid that whatever would happen would destroy his family forever.
Dawn led the way out into the living room. He followed her afraid of facing everyone with them knowing how weak he was. The first person he saw when he walked into the room was Buffy. Her eyes held the evidence of her tears and his heart hurt knowing that the pain wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon.
“The house is free from bugs so no one is listening to us. Josh checked it out earlier with that infernal thing that sounds like a game something or other.” Giles commented to the couple facing off on opposite sides of the room. “But we think the house is being watched so the two of you will have to put on a show for them. Show them a fight with Buffy throwing Spike out at the end. And a little shouting would probably help too. The children are all sleeping in Elijah’s room and Tara has put a spell around it so they won’t hear anything.”
When he was done Giles lowered his head hating what he was doing to them. Then he heard something being thrown and looked up in surprise.
“Giles told me everything, you bastard. How could you do this to us? How? For a piece of ass?” Buffy screamed at Spike.
“Buffy, come on. If you weren’t so damn needy and clinging maybe I wouldn’t have to look elsewhere for some fun.”
Buffy whirled around and took off for the stairs with Spike on her heels. The others in the room looked at each other knowing that the words being shouted weren’t just a game between the two but emotions that had been simmering for a while. They listened as the two screamed at each other all the way up the stairs.
Slamming the bedroom door open Buffy headed for the dresser yanking out drawers and pulling out Spike’s clothes.
“Get your stuff together. I don’t want you here anymore.”
Spike reached into the closet grabbing a duffel bag and started to stuff some of the clothes Buffy was throwing on the floor into it.
“Buffy, don’t do this.” Spike whispered as his chest tightened in fear of really losing her. “I don’t want to leave like this.”
He stood trying to get the zipper done and didn’t see the fist aimed at his face. The blow made him stagger backwards. The next punch pushed him back into their closet with Buffy following him in. Spike raised his arms to ward her off not wanting to hit her back. She grabbed his arms and pulled them down then she was on him. Her lips desperately crashed into his with all the love in her heart. It took him only a second to pull her as close to him as he could. Their kiss was hard and needful conveying all their fears and loneliness for the other in it.
“Don’t you ever forget where you belong. I can give you all the space you need but I will never stop being yours.” Buffy whispered raggedly as she finally let him go.
His eyes widened as he looked at the woman before him like he had never seen her before. This woman was strong and determined unlike the Buffy he had been living with for the past few months. But there wasn’t time to figure things out as she walked away from him knowing that it was time for him to leave. He followed her out into the hallway clutching the bag in his hands as he headed for Elijah’s room.
Spike knelt beside the boy’s bed and gently shook him awake.
“Hey, Eli, I need to go away for a little while but I will be back soon. Okay?” He hugged the child taking a few more moments to reassure him that he would be back. When the child was settled again he returned to the hallway and found Raven waiting for him. She launched herself on him clutching him in a bear hug as she sobbed against him.
“Promise you’ll be back.”
“I promise. I’ll be back in a few days. Do me a favor?” He pushed Raven away from him for a moment.
“What?”
“Help Buffy. She is going to need it. Be a good girl while I’m gone. Please.” Then he pulled her back into his arms gently kissing her brow.
Raven couldn’t speak and only nodded her head against him. Spike began to move down the stairs still holding her while Buffy followed. At the bottom of the stairs waiting for them was Dawn.
“Everyone else is staying in the living room. Don’t want to make this too suspicious with all of us wishing you goodbye.” Dawn explained everyone’s absence in the foyer.
They stood there for a second then Dawn rushed to hug him on his free side.
“You better come back.”
“I promised till the end of the world and I meant it, Niblet.” Spike told her as he hugged her good bye.
Then with a nod to Buffy he released his girls and was ready for the final scene to their fight. Buffy kissed him quickly then grabbed his duffel bag and opened the front door.
“Get out. Get out of here now,” she screamed as she threw the bag out the door.
“Fine, I don’t want to be staying here with a bitch like you anyway.” He bellowed as he walked away from them. After grabbing his bag he strapped it to the back of the bike and soon roared away from them.
Buffy stood on the porch and watched him drive away feeling like she had just lost the best part of her. Then she collapsed onto the steps where Willow came to her wrapping her arms around her.
“Oh my God, what have I done? I can’t do this.” She sobbed into the arms of her best friend as her world fell apart.
TBC
