August 1, 2007 1:45 PM
Buffy began to unload the dishwasher as Dawn made herself a drink. Faith was already at the table waiting for the other two women to join her.
“So, Janice has been invited to a meeting of the Soldiers?” Buffy asked as she stacked plates in the cabinet.
“Yeah, Saturday night, they are all going to meet at this guy, Ralph’s house. He approached her and told her that she seemed to have that extra edge about being human and wanted to know if she wanted to help them out with some projects.” Dawn explained as she joined Faith at the table.
“Is Max’s co-worker going to go with her?” Buffy turned to look at Dawn as she checked on Janice’s safety before turning to start putting glasses away.
“Yeah, his name is Bobby, and he and Janice have been acting like a couple so he got invited too.”
“Good, so maybe we can get some more names and faces to link with the Soldiers.” Faith piped in. She had been filled in on everything that had been going on and was eagerly helping them with tracking down the men they were looking for.
“I hope so. If we could at least get the men that murdered the children’s parents and ransacked the house, I think we’ll put a serious dent in their operations,” Buffy commented. “Does Max know of the latest developments?”
“Bobby was going to meet with his superiors today, so I assume Max will be told,” Dawn responded.
“Is Janice dealing with all this, okay?” Buffy turned around with a worried expression on her face. Janice hadn’t really been involved with a lot of their fights and she wasn’t sure how a ‘civilian’ would handle this job she had undertaken.
“She’s fine. Actually, she says she is having fun and is considering becoming a cop now.” Dawn smiled at her sister. Her friend had taken to the undercover work so well that was all she was talking about these days.
Buffy turned back around and continued to put glasses away in the cabinet. As she reached for the back of the cabinet her crop top slid up her back revealing several large bruises. Dawn’s eyes widened at the markings on her sister and stood so she could come closer to examine them. Buffy jumped at the feeling of someone lifting her shirt.
“Who did this to you?” Dawn asked suspiciously. She had already come to a conclusion but she wanted Buffy to confirm it.
“It’s nothing, Dawn. I’m a Slayer, remember? Bruises and stuff come with the package.” Buffy pulled away so that she was facing her younger sibling.
“And the handprint? You have a handprint in the middle of your back. Was it Spike? Did he do this to you?”
“I told you, it was nothing. So, drop it.” Buffy stiffened as Dawn’s supposed questions of concern became more ones of accusations.
“I can’t believe you, Buffy. Spike’s little games have gone a little too far, haven’t they? Has he just moved right into beating you?” Dawn’s was livid that her sister was just accepting of what her husband was doing to her. It had to be him because Buffy wasn’t giving any other explanation.
“You are pushing it. Spike would never deliberately hurt me and like I said bruises are part of the Slayer package.”
“So, the bruises were an accident? He didn’t mean to do it.” Dawn spat the words out as she looked to Faith for help to back her up. Faith shrugged her shoulders because she knew that it wasn’t her business to interfere and only would if Buffy asked her to.
“Why are you so convinced that Spike is hurting me?” Buffy’s eyes narrowed to a slit. This was too much for her to believe. Dawn was accusing Spike, the one she had always adored, of beating her. It was just inconceivable that Dawn would be so easy to blame Spike instead of finding out the truth.
“Fine, defend him,” Dawn hurried over to grab her purse before heading for the back door. “I’ll let you know what happens with Janice.” The door slammed behind the former key as she left her sister’s house.
“Why didn’t you tell her the truth?” Faith asked quietly as she watched Buffy work through the rage that was consuming her.
Buffy turned to look at her friend as she breathed deeply in an effort to calm herself. “She didn’t seem to want to listen. I don’t think she would have accepted that, yeah, it is Spike’s handprint but he thought he was hitting a demon in the confusion of the fight.”
“I would have backed you up if you wanted. Told her that Spike just about freaked when he realized what he had done.”
Buffy shook her head slowly, “She seemed determined to find a way to blame him.” She gave a small derisive laugh, “I think she’s been watching Lifetime a little too much. I’ll call her later and talk to her when she has calmed down.”
With that decided Buffy turned to continue to unload the dishes as Faith stood to help her.
August 1, 2007 5:40 PM
The pile of bills that needed to be paid never seemed to go away and since Raven and Elijah had arrived they had just seemed to grow. The refurnishing of the house had also put a serious dent in the liquid cash supply. Spike sighed as he slit open the cell phone bill waiting to see what total the family had racked up this month. It didn’t seem to be too bad but as he turned to put it with the others, one detailed report on a phone caught his eye. There were almost daily, sometimes twice daily, phone calls to the Hyperion on it. Having everyone on speed dial, Spike had never taken the time to memorize everyone’s phone numbers but knew that Buffy would know. Snatching the bill up he headed toward the kitchen where she and Raven were starting on dinner.
“Buffy,” he called as he headed down the hallway. Raven was laughing and saying that the whole thing was disgusting as he halted just inside the doorway.
“What, Baby?” Buffy looked up at him as her hands continued to mix together the ingredients for tonight’s meatloaf.
“Whose cell phone is 555-1777?”
“It’s mine, why?” Raven answered. Her voice was quiet as she answered him. Neither of them had given her any restrictions on the phone and wasn’t sure what she had done but Spike looked upset about something.
At Spike’s tone and Raven’s quiet demeanor, Buffy started to wipe her hands clean.
“Why have you been calling the Hyperion?”
Raven’s face turned white as she realized that Spike knew everyone she called on her phone. Then the defiance kicked in. If he didn’t want her calling someone, he should have told her.
“To talk to someone.”
“No sh.., who?” Spike stopped in the middle of his comment to amend his words. Elijah had been picking up on everything lately and he had tried to stop cursing before the little boy could swear like a sailor.
“Connor.” Raven’s hands rose to her hips as her chin came up.
“Why?’
Buffy couldn’t help but laugh when Spike asked that. If he couldn’t figure that much out, he was going to have a hell of time over the next few years with his daughter. But the laughter immediately stopped when Spike flashed an angry ‘aren’t you on my side?’ look.
“Because I like him, duh!” Raven answered him with some amusement creeping into her eyes also. But that amusement died when Spike growled. He actually growled about her liking Connor. She took a step back away from him not sure what he was going to do. Spike in demon face was something she was becoming comfortable with but the demon directed at her was something new altogether.
“He is too old for you. Don’t call him or talk to him again.” Spike pronounced and turned to head back to his study.
“That’s it. You just tell me not to talk to him and it’s supposed to be settled. I’ll talk to him if I want to. I don’t care what you say.” Raven screamed at his retreating back.
Spike stiffened as he slowly turned back to face her. A quick glance at Buffy showed her sympathy for him but she was clearly trying to let him handle this.
“You will not talk to him. You are fourteen years old. He is twenty-one. If you don’t stop talking to him, I’ll go to him and Angel and settle it myself.”
“I’ll be fifteen next month. And you don’t know anything. Anything at all.” Raven was screaming as her eyes began to glow. She hated that Spike was just calmly deciding her life and she didn’t know how to talk to him. Sometimes he was just cold and unreachable. Digging deep she pulled her trump card out knowing that if nothing else it would get a reaction from him. “Besides what difference does it make, it’s not like I’m even a virgin anymore.”
Buffy closed her eyes because she knew the next few minutes would decide the relationship that Spike and Raven would have for the duration. Raven had told her about her excursion into sex after she had found condoms in her room the day they were cleaning up. With determination to see the two of them through this Buffy opened her eyes and came to stand next to them.
After hearing her words, Spike had vamped out and growled again. This time deep and threatening, his hands clenching and unclenching in frustration at not being able to reach the man or boy who had touched his little girl. Pain seared through his chest as a distant memory flickered briefly in his mind and knew that if Connor had even so much as hugged her, he would rip him in half.
Raven backed up another step as she came face to face with the demon. His yellow eyes stared at her in rage and pain and she wished she had kept her mouth shut and talked to Buffy about it. But she refused to let him know she was intimidated.
“What are you going to bite me or something?”
Unable to control his rampaging emotions, Spike started to turn again but found Buffy blocking his way.
“No, do not walk away.” She whispered to him even though she knew that Raven could still hear her. “If you walk away, you tell her you don’t care. Even if you mess up or fumble this, you stay and you talk to her. Everything is okay as long as you try. I’ll be here to help you.”
“You knew? You knew and you didn’t tell me.” Spike stared at her in bewilderment that Buffy was keeping things from him.
“Yes, I knew. She asked me not to tell you and as long as the issue was mute, I let it lie. When she started dating then I would have had her tell you, so we could make decisions together.” Buffy stroked his face in an effort to calm him. He nodded at her words knowing she was telling him the truth.
It took him a couple of moments of unnecessary breathing and concentrating before he could relax back into human guise. Once he did, he turned back to face his daughter, pain ripped through him again at the tears that were falling across her cheeks.
“I would never bite you, Raven. Even if I could, I would never hurt you.”
She nodded slightly as she wrapped her arms around herself. Pain was all she saw in his eyes and it hurt her to know that she had caused it.
“Tell her what you are feeling.” Buffy quietly instructed.
“I hurt.” He sighed as he looked at her. “You’re so young, Raven. When I look at you, I still see a little girl. But your body, it may…it may have everything that says you’re a woman but you’re not. It’s still too young for that. And the emotions, sex can change everything. And if you aren’t both at the same place and you’re the one left behind, it can almost kill you inside.”
It was as honest as he could be and he hoped it was enough. A part of him wanted to weep for the childhood she had left behind somewhere and a part of him was relieved that she seemed to have handled it responsibly.
“Your turn, Raven. Tell him the truth.” Buffy looked at her daughter knowing that the truth would alleviate a lot of Spike’s concerns.
Raven nodded as she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. It was going to be humiliating to tell him what had really happened after what she had put him through.
“I’ve only done it once. Sean is a friend of mine, kind of like Willow and Xander friends. He lives in the Lankasha village and I’d see him all the time when we would visit. It was last Christmas break and we were hiking. We got to talking about sex and stuff and we were curious. So, we did it just to find out what it was like. I don’t even think we did it right.”
Spike almost cracked a smile at her last sentence but managed to suppress by covering it with another sigh.
“That was it? Just the once?”
Raven nodded her head, “Yeah that was it. I told my mom and she gave me a huge lecture and bought me condoms, just in case. But no, we never did it again. Sean is more of a friend and we just don’t feel that way about each other.” Then her mind switched to the one she did feel that way about. She didn’t realize it but as she started to think about Connor her expression changed to one of dreamy infatuation which Buffy and Spike both picked up on.
“Still no Connor. He is too old.” Spike told her but this time he stayed to get a response from her.
Raven’s expression changed again and another tear wound down her face as she looked away from Spike. “Connor treats me like an annoying little sister. He’s dating some twenty-three old blonde with a mustang, like I could compete with that. I talk to him like I do Dawn, even more so because he’s not involved with everything here and he listens.”
“It’s just talking?”
Raven nodded knowing now that her friendship wouldn’t get taken away. And if they were friends then she still had a chance to show Connor that she was the only one for him but Spike didn’t need to know that. A quick glance at Buffy, who was rolling her eyes and she knew that Buffy understood but that she would tolerate it for now. In two steps she was in Spike’s arms whispering, “Thank you”, over and over to him.
August 1, 2007 11:45 PM
The blender whirred enticingly as it mixed the anticipated Margaritas together.
The radio played some oldies from the ‘80’s in the background while
Buffy was pulling chips out of the cabinet so they could be dumped into bowls.
The kids were asleep, Spike had gone patrolling and Clem was upstairs in the
attic which left her and Faith to do some relaxing and girl bonding together.
Humming along to Cyndi Lauper’s “She Bop” Buffy pulled the homemade Pico sauce from the refrigerator to put on the tray that would carry everything into the living room. Ever since Spike and she had discussed everything, Buffy had found herself relaxing more and taking a lot of things less seriously. Somewhere along the lines she had found herself becoming more stodgy and older acting than she liked. Her clothes had become less fun and more functional, but after the date to The Edge she had started to dress more like she had used to. Tonight she was wearing a pair of black slacks with the waist rolled down in the present style with a frilly pink top. Her feet though were bare since her toenails were still drying.
“Ready?” Faith asked holding the pitcher up. She grabbed the two glasses and headed for the living room with Buffy right behind her.
“I’m glad you’re here.” Buffy commented as she put the tray on the table and sat back on the couch.
Faith sat next to her and poured them each a drink. After handing Buffy one, she settled back into the opposite end of the couch.
“I never thought I would ever hear you say that.”
“Things just got out of control for all of us.” Buffy told her. “I wish things had been different.”
“Yeah, and you know what they say, if we didn’t go through what we did, then we wouldn’t be where we are.”
“That sounds like an Angel.”
“It is.”
The two women laughed as they thought of the vampire that always seemed to be between them but this time in a good way.
“Did you love him?” Buffy asked quietly. It didn’t matter anymore but it was something that she had always wondered about.
“Angel? No, I came to care for him a great deal but love, no.” Faith shook her head to emphasize her answer as she noted the relief that drifted across Buffy’s face.
“It was always about you, Buffy. They all loved you and I hated you for it.”
“And now?”
Faith smiled at the insecure undertone that had crept into Buffy’s words.
“And now, do they still love you or do I hate you?”
“Both, I think.” Buffy grinned at the brunette over her glass of Margarita enjoying the sour tang as it moved over her tongue.
“Come on, this conversation is going to get even better,” Faith encouraged as Buffy drained her glass. She held the pitcher out and refilled both their glasses before answering her question. “We all love you, me included, even if you are a whiny, skinny little blond who doesn’t know how to have fun.”
“I do too know how to have fun. There are some stories I could tell you about what Spike and I have done.” Buffy defended herself. “Like the time we….oh no, you almost got me. But I am not going to kiss and tell. Spike would kill me.”
Faith threw her head back as she laughed at Buffy. A few more glasses and she would know everything about exactly what had gotten the other Slayer to lighten up and the man who had accomplished it. She was curious as to what had gotten Buffy to this stage in her life and how she had come to be so devoted to another vampire. The changes were remarkable and maybe there was still hope for her to finish changing and finding someone who could be so drawn to her.
“I’m glad that you didn’t stay with Riley. He should have known it wasn’t you that night.” Faith said almost to herself. It had always bothered her that Buffy’s boyfriend hadn’t known it wasn’t her he was making love to. “Spike would have known if he had been your boyfriend then.”
“Yeah, he would have.” Buffy agreed with a smile. Spike would have known, the way her eyes looked as she succumbed to the attraction between them, the way she touched him and the sighs and moans as he touched her it was all things that would tell him if it was her or not.
“Did he ever tell you what I did to him?” Faith asked with a twinkle in her eyes.
“I never knew you met Spike.”
“Yeah, it was when we had switched bodies. I ran into him in the Bronze, and well, I teased him. Told him I had muscles he had never dreamed about and that I could ride him until he popped like warm champagne. And he thought it was you.” Faith giggled.
For a second Buffy looked angry then she dissolved into giggles too. It was then she realized that Spike was standing in the doorway and had heard the last part of the conversation. He looked embarrassed as he looked at the two women. Buffy stood and hurried over to him drawing him further into the room.
“Oh, my god. All this time I wondered where you got that phrase from.” Buffy turned back to Faith, “Every once in a while he’ll tell me to pop him like warm champagne and I had no idea it was you.” Buffy wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face from the laughter that still shook her small frame.
“Yeah, it’s really funny.” Spike turned to walk away from them before they insulted him anymore.
“Come on, Spike, its funny.” Buffy sobered up as she realized that he was really upset with her. “What’s even funnier is that I have been so worried about you two sleeping together and Faith has been in bed with us this whole time.”
The last part had just slipped out. It didn’t seem to matter if it did because everyone knew that it was on the back of her mind. It was on all their minds. It’s just that none of them would say it. Faith used to always go after her men, Spike had wanderlust and she was worried that he would actually do it and with Faith in the house, it was always there somewhere in her mind.
Spike gave one last look at Buffy before turning and walking out of the room. He had known she was worried about it but her saying it like that, so casually, made it seem ugly and coarse. It made her seem petty and small and it made him look like he couldn’t control himself. God only knew what it made Faith feel like.
“Well, you blew that one, B,” Faith observed.
Buffy continued to look in the direction that Spike had gone feeling the guilt building in her. “I know I did. It’s just…”
“It’s just that you can’t let it go.” Faith finished for her. Then when Buffy turned to look at her she continued, “You say you forgive him but we all know you haven’t let go of it. It’s like you’re just waiting for him to mess up again so you can point a self-righteous finger at him and say you knew it. He adores you and yeah, he messed up, but he is trying to make it right and he never will be able to unless you give him the room to do it.”
Buffy gave one last look at Faith before turning to follow her husband. It seemed that now it was her turn to be humble and beg forgiveness.
“Well, gee, there just went girl’s night.” Faith muttered while putting the pitcher and glasses on the tray with the untouched chips. Then spotting the two new DVDs on the table she got an idea and threw them on the tray too. Picking the tray up she headed for the attic. Getting there was easy, getting through the door was another problem, Faith quietly tried to kick the door to get Clem to answer it but apparently he didn’t hear it. She kicked a little harder trying to get his attention and still no response. Just as she about to really kick it, the door opened with Clem staring at her.
“Hey, want some company? I come bearing chips and dips, and quickly melting Margaritas and some movies.”
It took a moment for it to fully register with Clem that Faith was actually standing there asking to come into his place. After shaking his head in an effort to clear it, he realized that she actually was there. Standing aside he gestured for her to come in, then manners kicked in and he took the tray from her.
“Would you like to take a seat?” He nervously asked as he put the tray down on the crates that served as a coffee table. The demon watched as the petite Slayer settled on the end of his couch. “What happened to girl bonding time?”
“Buffy inserted foot into mouth and is now talking to Spike.”
“Those two have issues.” Clem shook his head as he sat on the other end of the couch forgoing his usual spot in the recliner.
“Have they always been like this?” Faith asked as she leaned over to scoop some Pico sauce on a chip.
“No, it’s just been in the last few months, ever since they started trying to have a baby. I guess the stress of trying took off the rose covered glasses of their relationship.”
“I didn’t get new drinking glasses so unless you have one; you are going to have to drink after Buffy.” Faith handed the almost full glass to Clem who accepted it without comment. “Well, at least they keep talking and trying.”
“If they would quit fighting over all the little bullshit, then they might just realize they are bonded as much as they ever have been. Those two are super glued together and no matter how much they try to run, they will always come back to one another.”
“It must be nice to have someone like that in your life.” Faith sighed as leaned back against the couch again.
“I’m surprised that you came up here to hang out.” Clem said trying to steer the conversation to them. Every since she had come to live in the house he had been trying to find a way to spend some time alone with her. The woman, with her mischievous ways and laughter, had worked her way into his heart. He knew he didn’t stand a chance with a human but he could still enjoy being with her.
“Honestly in the old days, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought to kill you because you’re a demon. Things change. I like you. You’re a good…person.” Faith finished hoping she hadn’t insulted him by calling him a person.
“Thanks, I think,” Clem laughed. “Before Spike and I became friends, I never hung out with humans. Thought they were all out to get demons and wouldn’t be accepting of us but I got surprised when I met Buffy and the others.”
“Doesn’t it ever bother you that you can’t go into just any store or restaurant because of who you are? Even when we went through McDonald’s that day you slinked down in the seat and looked the other way.”
Clem put his glass back down on the crate before answering. “Sometimes it would be more convenient to be able to do that but I know I’m not welcome. So, I stick to my own kind. It’s hard sometimes to even do that. They know that I live here and are friends with humans. It’s like Spike. He has a hard time going back to that side of town because they all consider him a traitor to the demons. Killing them and stuff. He’s become too humanized to ever fully be accepted in our world again. When they found out that I had moved into the house, they tried to use it as an excuse to tell me that Buffy and Spike consider me lower than them because they put me in the attic. But I know they did it because I would have more room up here than downstairs. I could have my privacy but the demons don’t see it that way. They see it as hiding away the demon, unable to acknowledge him as a friend.”
“But you don’t doubt their friendship? At all, do you?”
“Nah, I stopped doubting it almost four years ago. We were in this battle with this giant demon intent on stomping out Sunnydale and I got caught in a falling building. The others didn’t think I would be found alive. When they had defeated it and I crawled out from under this wall, Buffy threw herself at me, crying her eyes out telling me how happy she was I was alive and even Spike had a few tears for me. Since then I know that I am a part of them. A part of this family. Wouldn’t trade it for anything now. Maybe one day, we won’t be judged just because we are demon but on whether we are good persons or not.” Clem used Faith’s terminology to tease her and was pleased when she smiled at it.
“Well, I’ll tell you what, Clem, when that day comes we will go out together to the best restaurant we can found. Okay?” Faith reached over and patted his arm.
“Sounds good to me,” Clem grinned. Excitement filled him at the thought that she would even casually mention that one day she would go out with him.
“Okay, so now for the movie, Julia or Sandra?” Faith asked holding up the DVDs.
“Julia, definitely.”
August 2, 2007 12:25 AM
Spike was standing in his old crypt with one hand pressed against the wall and
his head bowed. His eyes were closed as the memories swelled his heart with
even more emotions than he was already feeling.
“I’m sorry, Spike,” Buffy’s voice was soft behind him. Her heartbeat was picking up as she waited for a response from him. It would be so easy to accept her apology and just forget but he would be lying if he let it go.
“It was right here, Baby.”
“What was?”
“You don’t remember? It was here in this spot that I was inside of you for the first time. All that heat burning me alive. You said it was just sex but to me it was everything.” He turned to look at her for a moment noting the tears that filled her emerald eyes. They were the eyes that were a mirror for his soul when he didn’t even have one. “It was here that I actually felt hope that one day you would be mine. It was here that I first vowed that I would never hurt you or let you down if you would only love me.”
“I remember. I remember that it was everything to me, too. I was too scared to let you know how much.”
“I fucked up. I know I hurt you and I’m sorry.” Spike laughed softly as a thought came to him. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t good enough to hold onto your love.”
“Don’t. I still love you. I will always love you.”
“But it will never be the way it used to be. Never the way it used to be when you thought I was everything.” He turned away from the wall to face her. “Now, that you understand how weak I truly am, you will never love me the same.”
“You are everything, Spike.”
He walked closer to you to cup her face, his thumb brushing across her cheek.
“No, I’m not, pet. You know that I am fallible, that I am no better than the other men you have loved, and now you also realize that you can live without me. You will never love me the way you did in the beginning.”
“Do you really want me that dependent and blind?” Buffy questioned softly knowing that she couldn’t argue with him. Her love for him had changed. It had to change in order to survive, for her to survive, and for him to survive too.
“No, but it makes me wonder if you would love me at all if you knew the truth of who I am.” His hands dropped to his side as he sighed and looked over her shoulder. “I called Dawn today and she won’t even talk to me. She said that I wasn’t going to get away with it and hung up on me. I’ve already lost her. Would I lose you too if you knew the monster I was and could be?”
“No, Spike. I am your wife, for now and for always.” Buffy tried to reassure him as her hands went to clutch at his waist. “I don’t know what is up with Dawn. I need to talk to her. But she’ll come around.”
His hands moved to pull her close to him. “I’ll find a way to prove to you that I am yours. That I am worthy of your forgiveness, Buffy, because you are everything that I want in this world.”
“You already have my forgiveness. I need to learn to let the past go.” Buffy snuggled closer to him. “All I want is you. Let’s go upstairs so I can show you how much.” Her hands began to move across him as he quickly calculated the dates. With disappointment he kissed the top of her head, she would be ovulating in just a few days and sex wasn’t something they could have tonight.
“All I want tonight is to hold you and talk. Is that okay?”
Buffy pulled away so she could look at him. Already her decision to let go was being put to the test but she quickly pushed the doubts away. There had to be a logical explanation for him to turn down sex and she decided to be okay with this.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Buffy reached up to kiss him softly while her hand sought his. Then hand in hand they returned to the house.
