I would climb any mountain, sail across the stormy sea
If that's what it takes me baby, to show how much you mean to me
And I guess that it's just the woman in you, that brings out the man in me
I know I can't help myself, you're all in the world to me
It feels like the first time, feels like the very first time
I have waited a lifetime, spent my time so foolishly
But now that I found you, together we'll make history
And I know that it must be the woman in you, that brings out the man in me
I know I can't help myself, you're all my eyes can see
And it feels like the first time, like it never did before
Feels like the first time, like we've opened up the door
Feels like the first time, like it never will again, never again
Foreigner

It was Tuesday. Buffy's day to visit with Dawn. For the whole hour that Social Services allowed them. I had been watching her get ready for her appointment. All of a sudden it was like she was the old Buffy. She had dressed in a navy blue skirt that fell to her knees and a white button up shirt. So prim and proper unlike the woman I had spent the night with. Now this morning she wouldn't even kiss me. Pushed me away and said she didn't have time. It was okay though. The nervousness was coming off her in waves. Her hands shaking as she tried to fasten her necklace. I got up and took it from her. Fastened it for her. Then backed away.

"Thank you, Spike." Her eyes met with mine and she smiled. Then she turned and started up the ladder.

"Do you want me to go with you?" It would be a bitch during the day but if she needed me I wanted to be there. She stopped and backed down the ladder. But she didn't turn to look at me. Her back was stiff.

"Xander is taking me." I could barely hear her whisper the words.

"Like bloody hell that wanker is taking you anywhere." I started to reach for my clothes when she came to me. She grabbed my hands pulling them up to her chest. Nestling our hands between us.

"Please, don't. He's been taking me since the first one. He arranged to take the time off every Tuesday with his boss to be there for us. I can't take a fight between you two on this."

I knew she was right at least about the fighting bit. This was one of those times that I wished I wasn't a vampire so that I could take over. Xander had it over me on this one. I hated that I couldn't be there for the two of them. I sighed and nodded my head.

"He said he would behave when he's here. When we talked earlier he apologized for the other night."

"To you. Not to me. He still wants me dead." I almost broke out in a rant as good as one of Dawn's when Buffy's eyes started to tear up. Then I shut up. Pulled her to me in an embrace where I tried to convey concern and support. Not the anger and frustration that was coursing through me. She kissed me gently and whispered a thank you to me.

I hated every moment but stayed where I was while he came to the door. And took off with my girl. By the time they had left I was ready to break something. While she was gone I took to straightening and cleaning the place. I really hated to say it but Buffy had become a slob while she was living here. Her stuff was just strewn all over the place. She seemed to ignore it so I was always putting things away. Scrubbed down the bathroom and separated the clothes for the laundromat later. Cleaning helped me to diffuse some of the anger and frustration that I was feeling.

She had become too important to me in the time that she had been with me. My life had revolved around her for the last couple of years. But now I couldn't make a move without her. I was beginning to wonder who I was without her there. Hell, just last night I had been telling her she had forgotten who I was. But I was forgetting myself. Maybe later I needed to go hang out with my own kind. Do something that demons do. Anything to remind me that I was the Big Bad.

By the time Buffy returned that afternoon the place was pretty much spotless. I was smoking one cigarette after another. I had finished my latest Laurell K. Hamilton book and was now watching pointless television. She came in like there wasn't a care in the world. At least she hadn't invited him in. And as far as I was concerned she had better be bloody grateful she hadn't. I didn't turn her way but listened as she headed to get a soda. She hesitated by the bottles of liquor but passed it by. Coming to sit on the couch reaching for my cigarettes. I was still in a foul mood and almost made a comment. But then I remembered she was the one who had bought them. Kept my opinion to myself.

"How was your visit?" May as well be polite if nothing else. And actually I was curious as to how much trouble Dawn was in.

"It went good. Dawn was glad to see me. First time she's hugged me in a while. Wanted to make sure I was okay. And she asked about you. Said to tell you that Giles went easy on her. Just grounded her for the weekend." She leaned back and took a drag of her cigarette.

"Good. I'm glad that you all had a good talk." I finally turned to look at Buffy. Her face was pale and she had been crying at some point. I reached my hand out to her. She looked at it for a moment then put her hand in mine. Pulling her over until she sat in my lap I hugged her close to me. Took her cigarette and crushed it out in the ashtray on the floor. Just wanted Buffy to myself for a few moments. Her face was nestled in my neck and her fingers caressed my chest. In a lazy distracted kind of way. Everything was right again in the world. Buffy was in my arms.

I looked around over her head and saw the bag on the couch. It was from the bookstore. Kissed her on top of her head and then asked her what she had bought.

"Nothing."

"Nothing. It doesn't look like nothing." I thought that we had covered the games and lies last night. But I guess I had been talking to myself. Buffy pulled back and looked down at me.

"Later. Okay? I'll share later." She stood and grabbed the bag heading for the bedroom. I stayed and watched the sway of her hips as she walked. Maybe I was just overreacting. Leaning my head against the back of the chair I sighed my frustration away. When she didn't come back up for awhile my curiosity got the better of me and I went looking for her. Yeah, I know curiosity killed the cat but I wasn't a cat. My insecurity was making me want to know everything that was going on. It was just safer that way.

Buffy was lying on the bed propped up on her elbows. One foot was swaying back and forth. I licked my lips when I saw she was dressed only in her underwear. Little girl undies. White with tiny pink flowers on them and a bra that matched. Her hair pulled to one side leaving her back exposed. She turned to look at me when she realized I was there. Sweeping the books she had been looking at under her stomach. I slowly walked over to her as she watched. Smiling as her eyes swept over me.

When I had laid down next to her I reached out to pull the books out from under her. She crossed her arms over them. Letting go I pushed her hair back and touched my lips to hers. Kissing softly. My tongue tracing her lips then pulled her bottom lip between my teeth. Sucking on it. She moaned into my mouth and shifted to get closer to me. When she did I reached out and grabbed the books.

Buffy didn't move as I did. The Big Bad had outmaneuvered her. Score one point for my side. Chuckling I looked down at what she had been hiding. Then froze as I did. When I saw what she had I felt like an ass for pushing her. Scattered across the bed was Kama Sutra and another book on pleasing your man. Then she had catalogs for Fredericks and Victoria's Secret. I laid down with my head near hers so that I could look up at her. She was bright red and her eyes were closed. Reaching up I ran my fingers down her cheek.

"Buffy, look at me." She stayed still. "Baby, it's okay. I'm sorry for pushing you. As long as it's for me, for us, I think it's great."

A single tear ran down her cheek and she dropped her head down to bury her face in her arms. I had tried to tell her last night that she drove me wild. And I couldn't be any happier with her than I was. But apparently she still felt inadequate. Maybe by giving her 'lessons' I was reinforcing the idea. A muffled sound escaped from her. She was sobbing. Twisting myself around until I was laying along side of her I put my arms around her.

"Baby, don't cry. I love you."

She turned so she was facing me burying her face in my shoulder. Her arms wrapped tightly around me.

"I'm sorry for crying. It's just embarrassing." She spoke into my shoulder.

"It shouldn't be. Come on out of there. And we can look at it together." She shook her head against me and clutched me tighter to her. It almost felt like I was dealing with a child. "Come on, pretty baby, come out and play with Daddy." I told her teasingly. Then ran my fingers to her midriff and tickled her. She started giggling and rolled onto her back looking up at me. She ran her hand up to my head and ruffled my hair with her fingers. Drawing me down to sear our lips together. I pulled her body flush against me. Moving my leg between hers. Rubbing my cock against her hip.

"See, I just have to be around you for a moment and I'm ready to go." I whispered against her ear. Running my tongue around it. Pulling the lobe into my mouth sucking on it. My hand moving along her stomach down to the apex of her thighs. Caressing her outside of her panties. I loved it when all I had to do was touch her and she became wet. After all those years of wanting her and now she was here and wanting me back. It was sweet. Kissing her quickly I pulled away. Later. I rolled over onto my stomach and pulled the Fredericks catalog to me and started to flip through it. She looked at me in surprise then rolled over next to me. We spent the rest of the afternoon picking out stuff we liked. Going through the 'sex guides' laughing at some stuff and deciding on things that we wanted to try. The more we went through stuff the more relaxed she became.

There was still an innocence to her when it came to talking but when it came to the actual deed she let go. Sometimes I had trouble keeping up with her appetite. She just hadn't done it in a lot of different ways and places and thought that because she hadn't she wasn't good enough. It just seemed to go with everything else that she was feeling. So, I excused it away.

I tossed the catalogs to the other side of the bed. That's when I saw the back. They were addressed to Anya. When Buffy realized I had seen she started to scoot off the bed.

"You got these from Anya?" I reached out and wrapped my hand around her wrist.

"Yeah, I just told her I needed some new stuff. It's not like I told her I was trying to improve our sex life or anything." She shrugged her shoulder and tried to look innocent. "Especially the Victoria's Secret one. It's mostly clothes and stuff."

I raised an eyebrow at her and let her go. It just felt strange that she might have talked to someone else about us. In bed. Girl talk. I wonder if my body had been part of the conversation. Like being compared to Xander. That definitely gave me the willies.

Buffy was pulling jeans and a t-shirt on. She turned back to me and asked if I wanted to go to the store with her after she grabbed something to eat.

"Do you ever eat anything besides sandwiches and stuff?" Since I had been back that was like her staple for food.

"Yeah pretty much, it's not like you have a fully equipped kitchen up there. And even if you did I'm not that great of a cook."

So, I took her out to dinner. To a little steakhouse out on the highway. I had found out they had those onion things I liked. Went over there every once in a while to get one to go. So, we ordered that and spicy wings to start but I mostly ate those. It was good to see her eat a real meal for a change. I missed the extra pounds she had as a teenager. She had been so cute when I had first seen her. Softly rounded in all the right places. I had wanted her even then.

She fed me bites of her dinner as she ate. Then as she put her napkin down on the table she covered her mouth and let out a very unladylike burp. I just laughed at her. She looked at me for a moment. Probably deciding whether to be mad or not. But she ended up giggling and shrugging her shoulders.

"I am so full. Thank you." She smiled over at me and reached out to squeeze my hand. When the bill came she reached for her purse but I beat her to it. Laying the money out for the waitress. She knitted her brows together but I refused to answer her unasked question. One of these days I would explain a few things to her. But not yet.

After she ate we stopped at the store to stock up on stuff. Wheatabix, beer and smokes for me. She grabbed more sandwich stuff, soda and some snacks. Then she told me to wait for her at the front and I refused. She rolled her eyes and headed down the female aisle. Grabbing some tampons she threw them in the cart. Just as I was reaching for some KY Jelly she smacked my hand.

"We are so not going there. Let's go." She grabbed my hand and started to pull me along. I started walking along beside her. Nodded toward the blue box I asked, "Is that going to start soon?"

"Soon enough." She didn't look at me and kept going.

I leaned in close to her ear and whispered to her, "Can I have some?"

Her mouth dropped open and then she turned dark red. She started moving at a deadly pace trying to leave me behind. I just laughed and followed her.

After we had gotten home and put the stuff away I went to sit in my chair to watch the news. Settling down to find out what was going on in good old Sunnydale when she came over and sat on my lap. Curling her legs up to rest on my chest. She had brought the pint of chocolate ice cream she had gotten at the store. We watched the news together as she fed us dessert. My hand playing with her hair. Content. Is the only way to describe how I felt.

We had spent the day together. Doing ordinary things. Like millions of other couples around the world. But for me it was a first. I could almost forget what I was. Spending the day with her. Somewhere I had forgotten all about going out and doing demon things. This was where I wanted to be. This is what I wanted to be doing.

But I also wanted the day to end doing things other couples did. I picked her up and stood. Walked her over to the sarcophagus. Stood her on her feet while I threw the blanket over it. Then reached under her arms and sat her on the edge. Took the ice cream from her hands and set it to the side. I stripped off my shirt then reached for the edge of hers. Pulled it over her head. She just let me do what I wanted with a curious look on her face. After her shirt had joined mine I undid her bra and it soon joined the growing pile. Then it was time for her jeans to come off. I undid the snap and told her to lie back. She raised her hips so I could pull them off. Then I reached for her hands and pulled her to a sitting position again.

I picked up the pint spooning out some. After I fed it to her I kissed her. My tongue dancing with hers as the chocolate melted in her mouth. I wrapped my arm around her pulling her close to the edge. As I broke contact she murmured against my mouth asking for more. I shook my head and told her to lean back on her hands. As she did her breasts arched up the way I wanted them too. Taking a spoonful of the creamy confection I spooned it onto one of her peaks. Then a spoonful on the other. Watched them melt against the heat of her flesh. Her nipples puckered against the cold. Taking the back of the spoon I spread the melting treat around so they were completely covered. Once they were the way I wanted them I started to lick it off. Saving her nipples for last. She moaned as I reached out and just flicked one hardened nub. Then drew it into my mouth suckling at one than the other.

My fingers kneading her ass pulling her closer to me. Her legs wrapped my waist. Her fingers entwined in my hair holding me close to her. Once her breasts were cleaned of any chocolate I took a spoonful into my mouth and waited for her to come to me. Her tongue sweeping the inside of my mouth. Melting it and swirling it around my tongue. Her arms wrapped around me. Pulling me till our chests rubbed together. When she stopped for air I told her to lie back. Pushing her back some so I had room to bend on my arms and still reach her.

She watched wide-eyed as I took the spoonful and put it at the top of her pussy. Then a couple more. When I had put enough I spread her open with my fingers letting it melt down the middle of her. She hissed as the coolness met her heat. I smiled and bent my head down. I licked it first from her vulva. My fingers stroking the opening of her warmth. Just the tips of my fingers penetrating. Then small strokes of my tongue along the inside of her lips . Lapping at the chocolate. With each lap I pushed my fingers further into her. Her hands gripped the blanket as I enjoyed myself. Finally I reached her clit. Sucking on it then rubbing it with my tongue. My fingers were thrusting as far as I could reach at this point. Her hips started to move in time to my fingers. I kept the pressure up. Responding to her. Leading her toward her release. As she came around me I lapped up the extra moisture. Once she had stopped convulsing I climbed up between her legs. Undoing my jeans as I moved. She smiled up at me as I came to lie on her. Her hips coming up to meet my cock as I started to enter her.

This was home to me now. With her. In her. Loving her. My life had changed. And I never could go back. I didn't even want to anymore. Life seemed good at this point.

Chapter 11