What a wicked game to play
To make me feel this way
What a wicked thing to do
To let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say
You never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do
To make me dream of you
Chris Isaac
Do you ever have those times when all seems to be perfect? When you just feel like purring like a cat because you are so content? That's the way I was feeling the next morning. I was lying in my bed with Buffy curled up next to me. Her head was on my chest and her arm and leg was thrown over me. Now don't be thinking that we had started off that way. She was defending her virtue the best she could. Had gotten herself into a tizzy when I had crawled into my own bed naked the night before. Always slept like that. Wasn't going to change and be uncomfortable because she had decided to put herself in the middle of my life. Well, anyway she had grabbed her comforter and trounced off to sleep on the couch. But it wasn't long before she came crawling back down. That couch was about uncomfortable as any piece of furniture could be. She crept into the other side of the hugging the edge. Somewhere in the night she had turned to me. And who was I to fight it.
It was still early when someone slammed through the door upstairs. Then he started yelling for her. Waking us up.
"Buffy, Buffy, you here?"
I opened my eyes to find him standing at the foot of the bed staring at us. He was pissed to find her next to me with my hand on her ass. I kind of snickered at him as Buffy pulled away and started to crawl out of the bed.
"Xander, what are you doing here?"
She was acting all nervous. Running her hands through her hair and pulling the shirt as far down as it would go.
"Looking for you."
He wasn't looking too comfortable either. Buffy grabbed his arm and started to pull him toward the ladder. Guess she wanted to talk to him without me around. But I didn't want to be left out. I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on, following them to the upstairs.
Xander was going full blast when I got there. Telling her that she couldn't stay with an evil soulless creature like me. And that she definitely couldn't do 'that' with me. As they were going back and forth I went to pour me some blood. Buffy was pretty quiet. Didn't yell back or anything. Like she was taking a lecture from a parent when she was bad.
"Xander, what I do is my business. Please, don't try to run my life. This is what I want."
"What to be a vampire's whore?"
She looked like somebody had slapped her. Tears where starting to gather in her eyes. Having one of her best friends talk to her like that was tearing her up. I was about sick of the whole thing and was about to step in.
"Why the fuck is everyone so concerned about my sex life?" She turned to look at me then back at him.
I just raised an eyebrow at her and took a sip of my breakfast.
"Buffy, look you know I care about you. Just get your stuff and you can come stay with me."
Xander was offering for Buffy to live with him. I just couldn't let this one go.
"What so she can be your whore instead? That's a good alternative." Then I laughed. I looked him over kind of scathingly. Like he would be the last choice for her.
"Stop it both of you!" She had gone to lean against the back of the couch with her hands over her face.
I turned to tell Xander to get the hell out and leave her alone when he went and buggered things up. As only he could do.
"Well, gee, Buffy did he tell you that he has spent the last six months with Drusilla? Giles checked up on him. It wasn't like he was lonely while you were here waiting for him."
Buffy's head snapped up to look at me. My stomach clenched as I saw hurt in her eyes. He would just have to put the wrong tilt on things before I could explain.
"What do you mean waiting for me?" What Xander had said hit me. She had been waiting for me? Was that one of her games to alienate herself? Or was she really waiting?
No one answered me. Buffy turned to Xander and told him to leave. That she would talk to him later. As he was leaving he gave me a little triumphant smile because he thought he had fucked up my life. He knew he would never have her and he sure as hell didn't want me to.
Buffy turned to look at me after the door had shut behind him.
"You were with Drusilla?"
She walked up to me and punched me.
"You had the nerve to question who I had been with and you've been with her!"
Then she punched me again. The anger started to build in me. She wasn't giving me a chance to explain and she seemed to think it was okay to hit me whenever she wanted. As usual.
"You jealous, love?"
So, I baited her.
"No! I am not jealous of you and your crazy slut!"
"Don't call her that. And nothing happened."
I tried to explain as I dodged another punch.
"Bullshit. You were lovers for a century and now all of a sudden she doesn't do anything for you!"
As I was backing away she was advancing.
"No, because I love you!"
At some point she would have to believe me. She stopped only for a second.
"And like I have said you're beneath me."
As I froze in her insult she punched me in the eye. And I had been pushed too far. I didn't care about the pain anymore. It couldn't hurt anymore then the pain in my heart. Pulling my fist back I punched her. It landed squarely on her jaw. She reached up to hold it when we both froze. We both knew at the same time. Hitting her hadn't hurt me. I looked quickly up into her eyes and saw the fear. The fear that there was something wrong with her. The reason she couldn't cope was because she had come back not quite human anymore.
But I guess I was cruel as I laughed at her. She was now on the same field as me. The tears started to fall as it began to sink in. Then she hit me again. Which was stupid in the aftermath of the revelation. Because I hit her back. We started to trade punches and blows as her tears fell and my pride was established again. But after only a few the hits weren't quite landing on the target and our hands started caressing and grabbing instead.
As she turned to kick me her arousal hit me. It's fragrance heavy in the air. My body had already responded to the past few minutes. My cock was hard and begging for it. Reaching out I grabbed her from behind and pinned her between me and the wall. Buffy was breathing heavy and I just leaned against her. She didn't move. I slid my hand down her belly to tug up the hem of the shirt. Her eyes closed as my hand went down to her wet heat. My fingers slid beneath the elastic of her panties and into her curls. She was so wet as I dipped between the folds to find her clit. As I rubbed it softly she moaned moving her bottom back against my erection.
Buffy wasn't saying or doing anything as I caressed her. Just responding to my touch.
"Tell me you want me."
She bit her lip and didn't answer.
I pulled my hand away. She whimpered in protest. Moving my hands to her hips I slid my hands down catching her underwear in my fingers. Once I got them down around her knees she pedaled them off and kicked them to the side. Putting one hand back on her stomach my other hand moved to undo my jeans. I pulled them down around my hips. Holding my cock I guided it to her slick opening. Not entering just teasing her with it.
"Tell me you want me."
She was going to say it before she got it.
"Please, Spike."
It would do. I couldn't wait anymore. Didn't want to giver her the chance to change her mind.
I pushed forward into her tight warmth. I shuddered as I got lost in the sensation. It was like dipping myself into molten lava. Hesitating as I regrouped myself she moved back pushing me further into her.
"Slow, baby, don't want to rush."
Her fingers dug into the wall as my fingers went back to caress her core.
"Now."
As she demanded to be taken I surged forward filling her completely. She whimpered as I stretched her walls to accommodate me. She shifted leaning back against me. My free hand went out to balance us on the wall. I started to rock back and forth in her as she started to make whispering sounds of pleasure. As my thrusts began to build she went forward again leaning her forehead against the wall. Her eyes had stayed shut the whole time and I wondered if she was even with me in her mind when she started to convulse around me.
"Oh, God, Spike!"
She screamed my name as her orgasm overtook her. And as I realized that it was me she was fucking I exploded inside of her as her body spasmed around me. Wrapping my arms around her I buried my face into her shoulder.
"I love you, Buffy"
As the words reached her she froze. She carefully extricated herself from my arms. Pulling the shirt back down she bent over and grabbed her panties. Then without a backward look she went back downstairs leaving me standing there like a chump.
I pulled my jeans back up and fastened them as I followed her. But when I reached the bedroom she wasn't there. She must have gone to clean up. I was so confused. We had both wanted what had happened. There was plenty of time for her to pull away or say no. I knew she didn't love me. Maybe my words were wrong but it was what I was feeling. The two of us being together was fate. She had been leaving plenty of clues. Living here, letting her friends think she was waiting for me, looking for me when I was gone and being jealous of Dru. Buffy just had to have feelings for me even if she wouldn't say them.
She came back into the room and without looking at me she crawled under the covers.
"Buffy, we need to talk."
I sat on the bed facing her.
"About what?"
She didn't move an inch. I gave a small laugh to cover my desperation.
"About what just happened. We made love."
My words were hesitant. But that's what it was to me.
"No, Spike, we had sex. We both enjoyed it and that is it."
She didn't move or look at me at all as she broke my heart again. I buried my face in my knees as the tears started to fall. The tension between us was very much in the air. I sniffled and wiped my nose on my jeans. I felt her move but didn't look up then her hand was in my hair. Her lips softly kissed the top of my head.
She softly whispered in my ear.
"Spike, there's never going to be an us. All we have is right now. Just enjoy it."
She laid back down pulling on my arm to bring me down beside her. I might not be much of a man for this but I cuddled into her like a newborn pup to its mother's teat. My face buried in her hair smelling the flowers from the shampoo she used. This was the closest I had ever come to heaven before. Imagine an evil creature like me enjoying the fruits of divine. She was the light that could guide me home again. And thus on these lofty thoughts I fell asleep wrapped around her.
