Haunted
Lightening flashes across the night sky illuminating
the house that stands alone at the top of the hill. Buffy shivers as she stands
in the pouring rain and stares at it. The house beckons to her. Its ghosts are
her ghosts. There is a silhouette in an upper window. A man staring outward,
somewhere over her head, and she turns to follow his gaze. A sign, but she
can’t make out the faded lettering. She steps closer as the lightening flashes
again.
“Oh, my god,” Buffy moans as
she sits up in bed. For seven months the dreams have been coming to her but
this was the first time that she had a real clue where to find the house. And
the man that dwelled within it.
Everyone thought she was
crazy for even trying to follow the clues. There was no choice. They were
insistent. The first one was so hazy that she could barely make out the house.
The dreams had become clearer and more frequent over the months. The call was
stronger, so strong; that she had packed her bags and come back to the States.
Each dream brought a new bit of information that was a step closer to her finding
the house. It was an obsession to her.
Buffy rubbed her face and
crawled out of bed. She wished she knew what it all meant. There wasn’t a lot of
time left for her to search. She knew it and so did everyone else that told her
to return to
It was almost two in the
morning and the other occupants of the apartment were asleep.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” Buffy said,
smiling at her friend. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”
“No, you were quiet as a
mouse but I think I’m listening for these middle of the night forays of yours.”
“I’m sorry,” Buffy sighed
and sat at the table again. “I’m disrupting your’s and Kennedy’s life and
worrying everyone else. I know I should go home but…”
“But you can’t until you
know.”
“No, I can’t,” Buffy
murmured with a shake of her head. “It all started with,” she stopped and
rubbed her swollen belly. Seven and a half months pregnant and the first dream
had come to her two weeks after conception.
“With the baby,”
Buffy slowly went over the
details.
“So, it would definitely be
the kind of town that would be filled with creepy old houses,”
“I’ll go there tomorrow,”
Buffy said. “I have to find this house before it’s get too much for me to
travel.”
“You’re almost eight months
pregnant,”
“No,” Buffy said, shaking
her head. “It will drive me crazy unless I find it.”
“Let me go with you then.”
“No, it’s what I have to do.
I promise though if I don’t find it tomorrow then I’ll stop until after the
baby is born. Okay?”
It was a lie but
“I promise, little one,”
Buffy whispered, as she rubbed her belly. “I’ll find what you need me to find.”
~~~~~~~
The rental car made another
funny noise as she pulled onto the exit. Marysville was to her right and
dutifully she turned that way. Buffy rubbed her forehead. Everything hurt
today, her head, her back, she had heartburn and her feet were too swollen to
wear anything but sandals.
“The lovely price of wanting
to be a mother,” Buffy muttered as she pulled into a gas station so she could
relieve her bladder. It took everything she had to crawl out of the front seat of
the car. The desolation of the area she was in made her grateful that she still
had slayer power. She might be waddling but if she had to she could still kick
somebody’s ass.
“Hello, miss, are you lost?”
The young man behind the counter called to her when she came in.
“No, I’m heading for
Marysville. Where’s your bathroom?”
“In the corner.”
“Thanks.”
Surprisingly the bathroom
wasn’t that bad. Buffy hurried through her business, washed her hands and
pushed back into the store. She wandered through the snacks, picked up a couple
of things then grabbed some juice before heading to the front again.
“So, what do you need in
Marysville?” The man asked as he rang up her purchases.
“I’m looking for someone,”
Buffy said. “Is it that much further?”
“Nah, it’s just up the road
a bit. You plan on sticking around for a few days or just for the afternoon?”
“Hopefully, just the
afternoon,” Buffy said, holding her hand out for her change. She wanted to be
back in the city by dark. No use inviting trouble by driving around at night in
a strange place.
“Probably a good idea,” the
clerk said, dropping her money in her hand. “There isn’t really any decent place
to stay out there.”
Buffy nodded and told him
thank you before turning to leave. She didn’t want conversation or to make
friends. All she wanted was to find the house and maybe get back to being able
to sleep at night. There was a low rumble of thunder as she made her way across
the parking lot and she mumbled a curse under her breath.
The closer she got to
Marysville the clearer the road became. Buffy kept looking around her to make
sure she was heading in the right direction. Finally she spotted the sign she
had seen in her dream only the night before. She slowed for a moment to look at
it before hitting the gas again. Ahead was what looked like the main part of
the town and she straightened up as she finally came face to face with the
source of her dreams.
~~~~~~~
Sniffing the air with
appreciation, Buffy took another drink of her apple juice and tried to ignore
the lure of the fragrant coffee she craved. It had been months since she had
been able to indulge. She told everyone that she wanted a cup waiting for her
as soon as her baby was born. A deep wave of loneliness passed through her at
the thought of the impending birth. This wasn’t how she wanted to be a mother
but it seemed the only way possible.
“Oh, little one,” Buffy
murmured, putting a hand on her belly. “If only Spike was here. I hope you’re a
boy because then even if you’re not his, you can carry his name on.”
Only by looking forward to
building a future with the baby, could she push away the hurt filling her
heart. The last time she had seen Spike was in Sunnydale. She had accepted his
heroic actions with all the love she held in her heart for him. For days
afterwards she had prayed they had made a baby that last night. She knew it was
impossible but she had hoped anyway just to have a part of him.
Later the anger had come. It
had been all consuming as Giles told her that Spike had been brought back and
for months had lived in
“Would you like anything
else, miss?” The waitress asked at her elbow.
Startled, Buffy looked up as
she tried to shake away her memories. “No, no, I’m fine,” she stammered out.
“But I was wondering if you could help me out. I’m looking for a particular
house.” She went on to describe the structure with as many details as she could
remember.
“It sounds like the old
“Why?” Buffy asked, trying
to hide a smile. “Is it haunted?”
“I wouldn’t joke,” the woman
said. “Some crazy man lives there. He came to town about four years ago. Moved
in during the night and hasn’t been seen during the day at all. People say they
hear screaming at night and him talking to himself. You mark my words, there’s
only trouble in that house.”
“I’m sorry for the joke. I
appreciate your help.”
Buffy flashed her brightest
smile. The waitress gave her an odd look before giving her a nod and laying
down her bill. Some days it just didn’t pay to try, Buffy thought as she made
her way to the front of the coffee shop. After paying for her lunch, she asked
directions to
In only a matter of minutes
it seemed she would finally have the answers she needed.
~~~~~~~~
The house was exactly as she
had seen it in her dreams. It was white, two stories, and a wrap around porch
with towering oaks guarding the front walk. An iron fence with wicked looking
points surrounded the yard. Only a fool would try to break in. Buffy seemed to
be voted the fool for the day. She pulled to a stop by the curb in front of the
dwelling.
“Looks lovely,” she
murmured. “I hope really hope you know what you’re doing, baby.”
She sighed before twisting
around to grab the jacket and bag that were in the back seat. A moan replaced
the sigh as a sharp pain darted through her lower back.
“Breathe, Buffy, breathe,”
She told herself, leaning back against the seat until it subsided. “Okay, it’s
show time.”
The pockets of the jacket
were filled with the usual slayer paraphernalia; stakes, holy water, and a
cross that she draped around her neck. There was a reason for her being here
but she didn’t feel there was any reason not to err on the side of caution.
The gate was locked and
Buffy looked around her for a moment to make sure there were no witnesses. With
a quick push, the lock was broken and the gate swung open giving her entrance
to the yard.
“Yay, me,” Buffy chortled as
she ascended the walk. “I am now breaking and entering. If this keeps up you’ll
be born in prison.” She patted her stomach. “Maybe we can get Faith’s old
cell.”
The house was dark. The
windows were hung with heavy drapes to keep anyone from looking in. But there
was a silence that seemed to be born of emptiness. Maybe the town people were
wrong. Maybe they only passed along a story of screaming that was really caused
by the wind echoing through a broken pane somewhere. Maybe the talking heard
was really the chattering of squirrels making themselves at home.
There was something there
though. A whiff that barely clung to the wind that whispered past Buffy. It was
something that she recognized and it shook her to the core. It was the smell of
cigarettes. The scent that hung heavy to a creature that she once breathed in
and made love to. Tears filled her eyes, hurrying down her cheeks as she tried
to dash them away with her hand.
Spike was dead. As gone to
her as the dreams she once had. There had been no love returned on his part.
His every word had been a lie. If he loved her like he said, wouldn’t he have
moved heaven and earth to reach her?
“He could at least have
picked up the damn phone,” Buffy murmured, as she lifted her hand to knock on
the door.
She pressed her ear against
the glass that lined the front entrance. No sound at all. No stirring within
those walls.
“It’s always this way, isn’t
it?”
Another quick twist of her
wrist and the door opened.
“Look, its open,” Buffy
said, gaily. “We must be able to go in.”
It was an act and a very
good one, Buffy thought. No one ever knew how hard she tried to be carefree.
Everyone thought she had exactly what she wanted. No longer being the only
Slayer, no more struggling to pay the bills by working at the Doublemeat, no
more being stuck in one place because it was the Hellmouth. She should be
ecstatic about life, about living the normal life that Spike had died to give
her.
“Hello, anyone here,” Buffy
called, making her way down the dark hallway. Remarkably there was no dust, no
decaying walls or debris. It was tidy, smelling of lemon, cigarettes and a
faint scent of cologne. “Hello, my name is Buffy. I know it’s kind of weird me
breaking in and all but I just had to check this place out. Any chance we could
talk.”
At the end of the corridor
it descended upon her in horrifying remembrance, settling in her lower belly
with a cramp that almost doubled her over.
There was a vampire and it
was close. Forcing herself to stand, Buffy grabbed the stake and took a quick
look around. She tried to reach the light switch to see if there was
electricity but a hand wrapped around it instead. The creature forced her
against the wall. Its cold breath lingering on her face as it held her so
easily.
She didn’t want to fight.
The tears she had forced away before fell in torrents now.
“Spike, oh my god, Spike,”
Buffy cried, searching the darkness for the features she once knew so well.
“How…why…you’re alive…”
“Never alive, Luv,” he
whispered. “I’m always dead. Leave me now. I have no use for you.”
He turned to disappear when
she grabbed his arm. She held on for dear life, frightened that he wasn’t real
and this was nothing more than another dream.
“Please, I’ve come so far.
Don’t leave me.”
She pulled and he stumbled
back causing them to land against the wall again. He froze as he curved around
the swell of her stomach. It took a moment then his hand settled where her baby
was protected. The child kicked out; dancing as if he recognized the stranger
they had been looking for. Buffy breathed a sigh of relief at the wonder that
was in his gentle caress. It was too soon.
“You adulterous whore,”
Spike growled. The beauty of his human countenance twisted into the fury of his
demon. “How dare you come to me? How dare you disturb me again? Is this the
bastard child of the Immortal? I want nothing from you. Get out of here before
I choke the very breath from you.” He ripped the cross from her throat and
tossed it aside. “And not even your trinkets will help you when I do.”
He was gone. As quickly as
he unleashed his rage, he had disappeared into the shadows of his house. Buffy continued
to sob. Emotions spilled from her, hurt, betrayal, anger, disbelief, shock, and
mostly love. Her beloved Spike was here. Undead, alive, whatever, he walked the
same earth that she did. She wasn’t alone anymore and her baby had led them
back to the only man that could love them.
~~~~~~~~
The storm had broken during
the tirade from her vampire. There was no way she would endanger her baby by
trying to drive in the torrential rain. Despite what Spike had threatened, she
didn’t fear him. So, many times he could have killed her, so many times she had
hurt him enough to allow him the justification to strike back, but he never
had. He loved her. She still believed it and his words uttered in the heat of
their passion that there was something immortal between them. It was a destiny
that had finally brought them together again.
Buffy had settled in the
living room. A large chair was set in front of the fireplace. It had to be his.
An afghan thrown carelessly over the back of the couch was tucked around her.
She was growing restless. She needed to find a bathroom and she wanted
something to drink.
There hadn’t been a peep
from him. She knew he was near and she didn’t want to set him off by rummaging
through his house again. Tired and sore she laid her head against the back of
the chair. Sleep called her away and she let it.
Buffy was finally where she
needed to be.
~~~~~~~
She was more beautiful than
he remembered. Although there was a weariness that shadowed her face, it wasn’t
the bone chilling fear that always used to hide just below the surface. This
was different. This was physical. She was in the latter stages of her pregnancy
and it was a drain on her body. But there was a peacefulness…and love that
hovered at the corners of her mouth giving her a womanly appearance. The girl
he had known was gone.
Spike crouched beside her
chair watching her as she slumbered. He’d been unable to stay away. Buffy
always drew him to her. Like a moth to a flame. And that was what she had
always been…his flame, his entrance to the light, and he couldn’t resist
despite the darkness of his demon.
Sighing, he pushed back a
lock of her hair, letting his fingertips trace along her cheek. She shifted,
pushing her face closer to the contact then she mewled in disappointment when
he moved away. She was exhausted. He was almost tempted to take her upstairs,
give her his bed and let her sleep away the day and night. Then in horrifying,
heart clenching, pain, his memories returned.
His fear that in spite of
everything she didn’t really love him, the uncertainty of how she would react
to his returning and that it would invalidate his death, his stupid act of
fucking Harmony just to remind himself he was alive again, finding a friend in
a tiny Texas girl and losing that friend in a useless act of selfishness. His
acceptance that Buffy had moved on to another man and he had no place in her
future.
And there were those final
moments in the alley. Wesley already dead, Gunn dying then dead with only one
blow from an unidentifiable demon.
He had woken to find the
bodies of his new friends around him. His Sire’s dust still on him and he had
stayed there with tears streaming down his face, waiting. Waiting for the
daylight that would give him the coward’s way out, but that was what he was, a
coward. Because as the first strands of daylight had teased at his fingertips,
he had run. He had kept running until there was no more land at the other side
of the continent.
Money to survive hadn’t been
hard to come by. A computer, a few numbers played with from Angel’s past, and
the money Angel had earned at Wolfram & Hart’s had been Spikes. He had
bought this house and isolated himself from everything living. Even himself.
Seven months ago the dreams
had started. Laughter, Buffy, sunlight, and a child that bore a striking
resemblance to himself as a boy had infiltrated his sleep. There hadn’t been a
night that she hadn’t visited him. Some nights it was just the two of them
making love over and over. Her ‘I love you’ echoing so assuredly in his mind
that they even haunted his waking hours.
Some nights he felt that he
had fallen into a fifties television show. He dreamed of the two of them, making
a home with children in this house, living an idyllic almost nauseatingly happy
existence. And some nights it was he and Buffy fighting side by side against
the horde that came out of that alley. Except this time she died in his arms
just like Angel had.
And somewhere in all those
variations maybe there was some truth.
Or maybe it was all lies.
But the reality was that she
had come to him and with her she had brought another man’s child.
Spike reared back as another
impulse to throttle her came over him. The image of her lying, naked, entwined
with the Immortal made his stomach hurl. How could she? But then how could he?
He beat at his forehead with the heel of his hands. In regret and anger he
wanted to take away these years. To go back to the day he had become corporeal
again. To stop the self-doubts, the selfishness and take the first available transportation
that would take him to the only place he wanted to be.
With Buffy.
He paced the room, trying to
bring his swirling emotions under control. The storm raged on outside
punctuating every dark thought that crossed his mind. Why not end his torment
once and for all? He knew every inch of the woods that surrounded the small
town. There were places that bodies would never be found. There were places
that were beautiful. Places that he had fantasized of making love to the source
of his agony while the sun streamed through the branches. More like moonlight,
he told himself, scoffing at his own poetic soul. Nothing was true and it was
all a lie. Even the prophecy that Angel had died believing in. It was a last
hope that he would make it through the battle and be able to live life as a
human as a reward for his sacrifice. All of it was bullshit though.
The gods were sources of
torture for those that roamed this plain. And they, humans and demons,
continued to believe that one day it might end. It wouldn’t though. The pain
would never stop.
“Spike,” Buffy called,
sitting up with a cry. She arched back then fell as far forward as far as her
stomach would allow.
Without hesitation he was
there, kneeling in front of her. She buried her face in his neck, trying to rub
at her lower back.
“Shush, pet,” Spike
murmured, brushing her hand aside. He massaged at the tightened muscles. He
smiled at the small sound of contentment she gave. “How far along are you?”
“It’s okay,” Buffy said,
with a small laugh. “I still have six weeks to go. I’ve just been cramped up
all day in the car.”
“Didn’t think you would want
me to deliver your baby,” Spike said, a grim expression gracing his face.
“That’s all.”
“I’d trust you.”
In that short sentence, he
heard her hope that they could find something again. He couldn’t give her that
though. Not now. Too much had happened to ever pretend it would ever be okay
again. And as selfish as it sounded he knew he could never accept another man’s
child. She had made her choices and she would have to live with them.
He didn’t say anything,
concentrating only on relieving the ache that made her hurt. It was his job,
wasn’t it? To back Buffy up, to keep her on the right path, to protect what she
needed protected, fight beside her and die when it was necessary. And even now
it was all right. He didn’t deserve to walk beside her.
“I have to pee,” Buffy
whispered.
“I do have a bathroom,”
Spike said, standing up. He held his hands out to her. “Come on, let’s haul you
up.”
~~~~~~~~
“Pig,” Buffy said, smiling.
But she held her hands out, allowing him to pull her up. She didn’t really
think that she could have crawled out of that chair otherwise. He was stoic
again as he pointed to a space under the stairs where the half bath was. A
chuckle sounded in her wake as she made her way down the hall. “What’s so
funny?” She asked, turning around to look at him.
“You’re waddling,” Spike
said. “It’s…it’s….well, its funny to watch you swaying like that.”
“Bastard,” Buffy said,
marching with as much dignity as she could muster to cover the last few feet
into the bathroom. She slammed the door behind her. His laughter continued to
echo around her. She sighed and did her business as quickly as possible. She
grimaced at the reflection in the small mirror. Her hair was mussed, her eyes
were darkened by the shadows that framed them, and there were small lines at
the corners of her mouth. No wonder Spike wanted to run from her.
After making herself as
presentable as possible, Buffy ventured out again. Hesitating in the hallway,
unsure of where her host was.
“In the kitchen, slayer,
turn right then make a right at the end of the hall.”
Smiling she followed his
directions to a large room with a round table in the middle. She sank
gratefully into one of the chairs. A plate filled with cookies was slid in
front of hers. They were chocolate chip.
“Dawn’s legacy still
follows, huh?” Buffy asked, biting into the sweet with an unexpected hunger. It
had been her sister that had gotten the vampire hooked on the treats the summer
she had been gone. Many a nights the two had baked cookies and watched movies
or played cards.
“I guess so,” Spike said. He
set a tea cup in front of her next before turning away. “How is the ‘bit?”
“She’s fine,” Buffy said.
“She’s going to
“That’s good,” Spike
answered, finally sitting across from her with his own tea cup. “One of your
offspring came through here a year or so ago. The little one tried to off me
but I sent her on her way. I don’t think she’d talk about it. I think I scared
the pants off of her.”
“Sounds like you,” Buffy
said, searching her mind for any report incident that would correlate to his
story. None came to mind though and she wondered if he had taken his third
Slayer.
“No, slayer, I didn’t kill
her. There’s a vampire family a few towns north. I took her up there and she
ran before the fight.”
“And you?”
“Been picking them off here
and there,” Spike said, staring over her head somewhere. “There are too many
for one to take them all at one time though, so I get what I can, when I can.
They don’t come to Marysville because they know I’m here.”
“Maybe I should send a team
up there.”
“Maybe…if you want.”
Buffy sighed. This wasn’t
what she wanted to talk about but knew he wouldn’t welcome anything else.
“Once you’re feeling up to
it, I want you to leave.”
And just like that she knew
he would fight her every step of the way.
“I love you, Spike,” Buffy
said, staring deep into the blueness of his eyes. She watched them darken. She
just wasn’t sure if it was with anger or with love. “I came a very long way to
find you.”
“You should have called.”
“Maybe…and maybe it would
have been nice if you had.”
“It’s over and done with.
Nothing left to say. It was wrong for you to assume I’d want to see you.”
“I didn’t have a choice,”
Buffy said, softly. She reached over to cover his hand with hers but he
snatched it away before she could. Her eyes closed briefly as she tried to
decide what to do now. The truth. Maybe after all these years they could just
start with the truth. “Two weeks after my pregnancy was confirmed, I started to
have dreams.”
His eyes widened then
shuttered again. Somehow he knew. She pressed on.
“The dreams were vague at
first. I saw the house, the storm, a figure then slowly I saw more of the
town,” Buffy paused, looking up at him through her lashes. He was staring at
her through narrowed eyes. “Last night I saw the name of the town and I came.”
“Pretty lies,” Spike said,
standing. He paced the room. “You could have come up with a more plausible
story. What do you want from me? Backup, need someone to die, to baby-sit…”
“I need someone to love,”
Buffy said.
“You had your chance years
ago.”
It was the bitter truth.
Well, she had wanted it. The tears gathered in her eyes again as she remembered
all her lost chances. All the times she should have held him close and
whispered what he wanted so badly, but she had been selfish and self-righteous.
She denied him because she could and had only hurt herself in the end.
“I know, Spike, I know,”
Buffy said, playing with the end of the tablecloth. “I…I never thought I would
see you again. I thought you were dead…like Angel…like the others. I didn’t
have anything.”
“You had the Scooby gang as
usual,” Spike said, angrily. “You had the dozens of new Slayers and lil’ bit
and the Immortal. Sounds like you had a pretty rich life to me.”
“And you were here alone.
Why? Why didn’t you come to find me?”
“You had moved on, remember?
Dancing and snogging with that soddin’ half-wit of a boyfriend of yours.”
“I found out that normal
didn’t work for me.”
“Poor little Buffy. Never
did fit in anywhere, did you, lamb?”
“There was one place that I
did,” Buffy said, wistfully. She slid a finger along the edge of the table
before glancing up at him from under her lashes. “Two places,” she amended.
He sighed. He didn’t want to
go into this again so he nodded his head. Memories filled his senses with her
smell, the feel of her body wrapped around his, the heat warming the coolness
of his flesh, and the sweet taste of her. It was all part of another lifetime.
A lifetime that he wanted to forget but never could.
~~~~~~~~
The magazine was old.
Several years old and the ancient news wasn’t entertaining Buffy at all. She
tossed it aside. Spike had disappeared upstairs again. He told her to leave as
soon as the storm subsided. It had and she still sat in his chair. It would be
dark way before she could reach the city again. She didn’t want to risk
anything happening.
“Spike, Spike,” Buffy
bellowed, leaning her head on the back of the chair. “Come out, come out
wherever you are.”
“No need to do the fishwife
impression,” Spike whispered, directly behind her.
“Crap,” Buffy jumped,
twisting in the chair to look at him. “How long have you been there?”
“Long enough to rip your
throat out,” he walked around to take the chair opposite of her. He sat as
casually as he ever did. His legs were spread wide, one foot perched on the
ottoman next to hers, and his hands resting on his upper thighs.
Buffy licked her lips. He
chuckled.
“You keep acting like you
did when I first met you. Have you lost your soul?”
“It would have been a hell
of a lot easier.” He turned his head to stare at the dying embers of the fire.
“No, Buffy, I am still the…vampire you last saw.”
“The man,” she corrected.
“I’m not frightened of you.” She tilted her chin up. She wasn’t lying. There
was no fear of him, not physically anyway.
“Maybe you should be.” His
eyes met hers. “The moment I found out that I was solid again I grabbed Harmony
and fucked her on a desk at Wolfram & Hart.”
Buffy rolled her eyes. The
pain was more intense than she was going to let on. “You always did have great
taste in women.”
“Including yourself in that
category, pet?”
“I was the exception to the
rule,” Buffy said, arrogantly. She leaned her foot on his. “Look, its getting
dark. Is it okay if I spend the night?”
“No,” Spike said, standing
again. “There’s a motel by the interstate.”
“All right,” Buffy said,
struggling to stand.
He watched her, ran his
hands through his hair then gave a heavy sigh.
“Stay,” he said. “If your
intention is to torment me, you’re succeeding.”
“I’m starving,” Buffy said,
flashing him an impish grin. Her intention was to force him to see that he
should let her stay for good. “Do you have anything around here to eat?”
“There’s blood in the
refrigerator.”
“No, leftover pizza or
wings,” Buffy asked, hopefully. He used to always have food in the refrigerator
when he lived in the crypt. Sometimes he even kept things that she liked.
“Sorry,” Spike said. “Diner
in town stays open until nine.”
“Already did that dance,”
Buffy said, grabbing his hand. “Haul me up. I’ll call for pizza delivery. A
large one with lots of cheese and veggies.”
“Waste of a good pizza by
putting that crap on it,” Spike pronounced, but he helped her to her feet. “I
think there’s a phone book in the kitchen.
A grin danced across her
face. He was giving in. She followed him into the kitchen where he was already
on the phone.
“Yeah, that’s what I said,”
Spike snapped. “I want to order a bloody pizza and I want it delivered.
Wankers,” he snarled slamming the phone back into the receiver.
“What happened?”
“They thought I was joking.
They said nobody ordered from this address and that I should go and do my
homework.”
Buffy giggled as she made
her way to him. “Maybe you should try being a little more sociable.” She picked
the phone up and dialed the number in the book for the town’s only pizza
palace. “Hello, I’d like to order a pizza.” She told him what she wanted then
carefully repeated the address. “No, this is not a joke. My name is Buffy
Summers and I’m visiting. I’m seven months pregnant and starving.”
“Hey, you that blonde woman
that came into town today?”
“Yep, that’s me. So, can you
get those pizzas out here?”
“You okay, ma’am?” The man
taking her order whispered. “Do you need me to send the sheriff?”
“No, nope, I’m right as
rain,” Buffy said, smiling. “Or at least I will be once I eat. Will it make you
feel better if I’m sitting on the porch when he gets here?”
“Might be a good idea,” he
gave her the total then he hung up with a loud click.
“Pizzas are on the way,”
Buffy said, patting Spike’s stomach. “We are going to feast tonight.”
Spike rolled his eyes.
~~~~~~~~
“This is one thing I miss
about the house on
“Lots of things,” Spike
said. “But it doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes, it does,” Buffy
whispered, entwining her hand with his.
Spike stared at their joined
hands. “Remember…”
“Yeah, I do.” She lifted
their hands and kissed the back of his. He dragged it along her cheek.
Their eyes connected and all
the love they had felt in those last moments came rushing through them. Buffy
felt her eyes fill with tears as she remembered him burning up and her leaving
him alone to die.
“Don’t cry. It was my
choice.”
“I know but I should have
stayed or dragged you out or…”
“Where would your baby be if
you had died?”
Buffy ran her hands over her
stomach. “He’s the one bright spot in my life.”
“Where is his father?”
“I don’t know his name,”
Buffy said. She took a deep breath about to explain the circumstances of her
pregnancy when the front gate creaked.
“Hello,” the waitress from
the diner called. She was carrying a grocery bag. “I hope I’m not intruding.”
“No, not at all,” Buffy
said, going to meet her at the steps. Spike was right behind her with his hand
on her lower back. “How can we help you?”
“You’re Buffy right?”
Buffy nodded.
“I’m Emma,” the woman said.
“It’s a small town and when I heard that you ordered pizza because you were
starving well, I just thought I’d help you out.” She handed the grocery bag to
Spike. “Its stuff I got from the diner. There’s milk, cereal, eggs, a salad,
and a slice of pie. Enough food to get you through until you can go shopping
tomorrow. Have to eat healthy for the baby.”
“Thank you,” Buffy gushed,
peeping into the bag. “I really appreciate it. How much do I owe you?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Emma
said, waving her hand. “I’m just happy that you found your young man again.
It’ll be so much better for the baby if the two of you are together. Okay, I’m
off. Don’t want to interrupt the reunion. Have a good night.”
“Thank you again,” Buffy
called to the woman rushing down the sidewalk.
“I’d like to know how I got
you pregnant when I haven’t left this town in years,” Spike commented, shaking
his head.
“I think it was cute,” Buffy
said. “Come on. I could use a cold glass of milk.”
She tugged on his shirt
sleeve, pulling him back into the house. She was settled at the table, happily
eating the salad and drinking her milk when the pizza delivery boy knocked on
the back door. He must have gotten brave, Buffy surmised as Spike went to open
the door. The teenager looked at both of them wildly, gave a thorough look
around the room before grabbing the money and taking off. Buffy was laughing.
“I think the whole town is
talking about me being here.”
“Maybe it’s time for me to
move on,” Spike said, placing the pizza on the table. He went to the cabinet to
get some plates before sitting across from her. “So, gee, pet, tell me the tale
of how you got pregnant by someone you don’t even know.”
“I was artificially
inseminated,” Buffy said, reaching for a slice of her pizza. She took the time
to take a huge bite before saying else. She was enjoying the stunned look on
Spike’s face.
“You were what?”
His head tilted to the side
as he stared at her. It was time to confess everything. Her stomach rolled for
a second at the thought. So, many things were gone. Would he understand or only
make fun of her again?
“I…was trying to live a
normal life,” Buffy said, putting her food down. She stared at it while picking
at the vegetables. “Well, except for the huge mistake I made of dating the
Immortal. It didn’t last long by the way. He was exciting and fun.”
Spike snorted. She smiled.
“I broke up with him and
tried to figure out what I really wanted to do,” Buffy said. “Then I got the
news from
“Must have been hard to hear
about Angel,” Spike said, softly.
His real question wasn’t
hard to hear. Buffy reached for his hand.
“Yes, it hurt but it hurt
more hearing about you. I figured that your love couldn’t have meant that much
if you didn’t want to see me.”
“It wasn’t that, Luv.”
“You’ll have your turn,”
Buffy said, shaking her head. “I moved back to
“A bit melodramatic,
wouldn’t you say?” Spike asked, sarcastically. “You should have gone out and
shagged the first human boy you could find. Go out, date, get drunk, go to
school…”
“All I wanted was you,”
Buffy said. He started to stand. “Spike, wait. Hear me out. Please?” He sat
again. “A year ago I started thinking about becoming a mother. Have a child
that I could give my love to. Everyone said I was crazy. They pretty much
mirrored your reaction. But it was something I really wanted. I had seen enough
of death. I wanted to see life. Be a part of creating it.”
“So, you had sex with a
turkey baster?”
“No,” Buffy giggled. “It’s a
little different than that. I started going through the profiles of the
donors.”
“How romantic,” Spike
commented, rolling his shoulders. “Did you take wine and candles?”
“No, Spike,” Buffy said,
with a sigh. She was determined to get through this story despite his growing
sarcasm. He was hiding his hurt. “I couldn’t find anyone that I wanted to
father my child. Then when I was about to give up, the nurse told me they had a
new donor. He was what I was looking for.”
“Alive?”
“He was described as a
scholar. Late twenties with an average build, brown curly hair, blue eyes and
defined cheekbones. His interests included poetry, science fiction, playing
pool, and old television shows.”
If Spike looked stunned
before, he now looked positively mystified. It was the same feeling she had
when she had read the profile. It was an eerie coincidence that she didn’t let
pass her by.
“Three weeks later I was
pregnant.”
“You’re daft,” Spike
declared. He shoved his chair back as he stood. “You expect me to believe that
cock and bull story? First thing in the morning I want you gone. Don’t ever
come back.”
He walked away again.
“The dreams started two
weeks after that,” Buffy said to this retreating back.
He slowed then sped up
again. She picked up her pizza, sure that he would return. It was just hard to
process and understand. She still hadn’t completely. She had just learned to
have faith over the months.
~~~~~~~
She was rummaging through
his house. He imagined she was deciding what should go where. How to decorate it;
make it hers…and the baby’s home whether he wanted her there or not. Buffy was
the most headstrong female he had ever met. She wasn’t just going to leave. He
had already tried asking her to and she wouldn’t. Dug in her little fashionable
heels and was staying put.
How could he believe this
tale of hers? The donor sounded eerily like him. Just like she knew it would
when she made it up. But did she? How come his dreams had started at the same
time as hers? Right after the conception of the child she carried. He wondered
if the child would resemble the one from his dream. With his hair and Buffy’s
nose, he would be a beautiful combination of the best of them. He laughed
because it couldn’t be his. Wouldn’t be his. Just some man who bore a lot of
his features.
Why couldn’t he have
forgotten her? Why did his heart still yearn for her and his body still ache
for her touch? He had come here looking for peace, but had only been more
haunted than ever by her presence.
He moved through the upper
floor trying to find an explanation. Something logical that he could throw at
her feet and tell her it was over. He would point his finger at the door and
she would meekly leave because he figured out her plan.
Did she love him? Did he
love her? And why did this child cling to them even before its birth? He
stopped in the corner bedroom. The one he dreamed was the nursery. Two walls
filled with windows would cast daylight over the child’s play. It was across
the hall from the master bedroom. More than likely planned to be the first
bedroom for the children of the house.
Mortified that he was
letting himself even think in this vein he turned and ran down the stairs. It
was dark enough now. He would drive her to the nearest motel, make his patrol
then return home. It was better this way and as he opened his mouth to tell
Buffy of his plan he was struck dumb with the beauty before him.
Buffy was sitting in the
glow of the reading lamp. It shone its light almost like a halo over her. For
the first time he accepted the angel she must have been for those few short
months. Radiant and at peace, like he had never seen her before, she talked to
the baby. Her hand petted the monstrosity of her stomach in loving caresses.
“Shush, little one,” Buffy
murmured. “Everything is going to be all right. We’re here now, where we’ll be
safe. Spike, he talks big, but he’ll come around.”
“Will I now?” Spike said,
almost angrily. “I was just coming to take you to the motel.”
“Come here,” Buffy enticed,
holding her hand out to him.
Unable to resist, he went to
her, falling on his knees before them. He allowed his hand to be taken and
rested on the swell of her belly. The babe moved beneath him. Kicking out or
stretching its small hand toward him. It was remarkable that a life was inside
this small slip of a girl he had once watched die. Needing closer contact he
lifted the hem of her dress until her stomach was bare to him. His finger
drifted over where her belly button was pushed out.
The child moved again,
demanding his attention. He pressed down where the small hand was pushing
outwards. They connected with what felt like a jolt of electricity to Spike.
They were as one for this moment. Buffy’s fingers combed through his hair when
he leaned down to listen to the baby’s heartbeat.
Tears gathered in his eyes
when the rapid pulsing sounded beneath his ear. This was life. This was the
future. Despite all the death and destruction the world did continue to turn.
He stroked her stomach, wiping his tears away from her skin. Buffy never said a
word. A smile her only response to his undoing. He kissed the mound that held
their child.
Only a miracle could have
brought them to his door. Only love could have given her the strength to come
this far. And only hope would carry them into the future.
It would be their future to
make what they wanted of it.
And they would be together.
~~~The End~~~
