The late morning was sunny and bright and beautiful and for Buffy held all the dread of facing the Master again. Knowing that it was the only thing she could do she finally knocked on the door of her former home. She heard her mother coming through the dining room and then the door opened. There was no hesitation as she was drawn into her mother’s arms and held close. Buffy savored the feeling of being loved and protected before they drew back.

“I am so glad that you’re home,” Joyce said as she tugged her daughter into the house. “Where are your bags, honey?”

“They’re at Angel’s.”

“That’s okay. We’ll go and get them this afternoon.” Joyce laid a hand on Buffy’s back ushering her into the living room. “I cleaned your room and put clean sheets on the bed for you.”

Buffy allowed Joyce to draw her into the living room and she took a seat on the couch as her mother asked if she was hungry or thirsty.

“Mom, please, I’m fine. Sit.”

The dread was there again as she watched her mother sit down with an expression of relief and happiness that her daughter was home again. And all Buffy was going to do was hurt and disappoint her again. Angel and Spike had offered to come with her later but she had refused. Buffy knew that if she wanted to be seen as an adult then she needed to act like one. And the first thing was not to hide behind Angel or Spike.

“Why are you looking like that, Buffy? What are you going to tell me?”

Buffy reached out and clasped her mother’s hand in her own. “Mom, I told you that things have changed and it wasn’t going to be like it was before.”

“If you’re going to tell me about the nose ring, I think I already know about that.”

“That’s not it.” Buffy hesitated then looked up and into her mom’s eyes. “I’m going to be living with Angel.”

“No, you are not,” she said as the emotions raced across her face. Disbelief and denial seemed to be the strongest ones.

“Yes, I am. It’s already done.”

“What’s already done? Buffy, I asked you not to make decisions before you came back.”

“I made a commitment to be his mate which is like being his wife.”

“You are eighteen years old and just graduated from high school. Don’t you think you’re a little young to be making the decision to be married?” Joyce stood as she started to pace the room. “What am I saying? It’s not even being married. What are you thinking? He can’t give you a marriage or children. What about college?”

“Mom, I’m still going to go to college if I can. I want to go to college but I’m never going to have normal. I’m the Slayer.”

Buffy wanted to hide as her mother stopped and turned to look at her.

“I gave you the chance to have normal. I wanted to send you across the country and give you a chance to start over and be whoever you wanted to be but you ran away. And now you’re back and you want to be treated like an adult but you’re still acting like an impulsive child.”

“Thanks, Mom, nice to know I can count on you for support.”

Buffy blinked away the tears as she nibbled on one of her nails before her mother sat beside her and pulled it away.

“See, you still need me to tell you not to bite your nails.” Joyce ran a hand over Buffy’s hair. “I love you, honey, but you have got to see that this isn’t any good for you.”

“Why? Why isn’t it good for me? I’ve been with Angel for almost three years and we love each other and I want to be with him.”

“And damn everyone else.”

“No, that isn’t it.” Buffy turned away from her mother to lean back on the couch. “And this is exactly why I left home because you won’t listen to me.”

“It’s all my fault?” Joyce’s tone was softer hoping that she could get Buffy to listen to her. “Maybe I would listen if you would start making some mature decisions.”

“I did, Mom, I made the mature decisions.” Buffy stood to look down at her mother. “I decided to go to college even though I probably won’t live to graduate. I decided to take my role as the Chosen one seriously and I decided that I wanted to be with the man I love and what did I get? Told by you to go east because of what you wanted, Giles tells me that he can’t teach me anymore and my boyfriend dumps me. So, yeah, I left because those mature decisions got me absolutely nowhere.”

Joyce looked away from her daughter for a moment before returning her gaze, “Did you ever think that maybe if you had stayed and fought for what you wanted then maybe I would have taken you seriously. But you ran away and now you’re back dumping this in my lap and expect me to be happy about your new life.”

“Mom, you have to understand that I will never have normal and I want to be happy and Angel makes me happy.” Buffy sat back next to her mother, “And I am going to live with him.”

“What about the curse on his soul? Giles told me about that. Do you really think that you can live with him and not sleep with him eventually?”

A blush crept over her face as she thought of her new relationship with Angel and with Spike and it wasn’t only embarrassment of what her mother would think but the reality of what she had done that had crept over her as they returned home. The realization that what was natural for the three of them was considered bizarre by society’s norm and wouldn’t readily be accepted.

“Buffy, did you sleep with him already? Oh, my God, did he lose his soul?”

Buffy shook her head but she knew that her mother had to be told eventually and she knew that it might as well be now. “I’m not only living with Angel but with Spike also.” She said it so quietly and hoped that she wouldn’t have to explain it any further.

Joyce had never looked so angry before not even when she burned the gym down or was expelled from school.

“Mom, say something. Anything.”

“You already had sex with him didn’t you?” And as the tears slipped down her daughter’s face Joyce knew that her own tears would be falling soon. “Do you want to know what I think? Here’s a few words to give you a clue, foolish, naïve, and idiotic. Was it at least your first time?”

“God, yes, Mom, I’m not a tramp,” Buffy declared.

“Could have fooled me at this point. Do you even like him? This is the Spike that only a few months ago kidnapped Willow and Xander and almost got Cordelia killed. What the hell were you thinking? Did you think that everyone would welcome this relationship with open arms?”

“I don’t know. I thought maybe if you cared about me you would. He’s changed.” Buffy knew she was pleading now but she wanted the comfort of her mother and some reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

“No, he hasn’t changed. He has a chip in his head that is preventing him from doing what he wants to do. You have really disappointed me, Buffy.”

The tears were streaming down Joyce’s face as Buffy sobbed alone on her side of the couch.

“Angel loves me. He does and he wouldn’t let me be around someone who would hurt me. He wouldn’t. Spike has been good to me since this started.”

The next thing that Buffy knew was that she wrapped in her mother’s arms again being rocked like she had as a child. Her mother held her until she cried out her tears and was only sniffling. Joyce handed her a tissue and turned Buffy so she was facing her.

“I love you but you don’t want to listen to me. I wanted us to be able to put this whole thing behind us. Get back to normal but you’ve made a choice as an adult. Now you will have to live with it and all the consequences that come from it. Don’t look to me to bail you out or help you when it turns against you. Understand?”

Buffy nodded. “Can I still see you?”

“Yes, you can still see me and talk to me but not them. If you want the rest of your things, come tonight and get it otherwise tomorrow it gets packed up.”

“And college?”

Joyce sighed and shook her head no. “I’m sorry but you are on your own.”

It was over and her mother had cut her off and said she wouldn’t be there if she needed help. Buffy hugged her and kissed her cheek softly but there was no turning back. And even if the decision she had made was scaring her with it’s magnitude she also knew without a doubt that it was what was best for her.

~~~~~~~~

Another door and more dread than before because the first door had only brought pain. Buffy took a deep breath and knocked on Giles’ door. It took only a moment for him to open the door with the phone clutched in his hand. His expression was unreadable and as he looked her over his features softened.

“Welcome home, Buffy.”

Giles stepped aside so that she could enter his flat. He laid the phone on the desk as Buffy walked toward the couch.

“Would you like some tea?”

“That would be nice, Giles,” Buffy smiled as she made herself comfortable and waited, listening to him moving about in the kitchen.

It wasn’t long before he was back laying the tea tray on the small table in front of the couch and he was sitting beside her.

“Your mother called me after you left her house,” he said as he poured her a cup of tea and handed it to her.

“Well, that’s good. Now you and I don’t have to go over all the gory details,” she replied. “Now you can just tell me how immature and stupid I am. How disappointed in me you are.”

She watched as he fixed himself a cup and remained silent. Then with a sigh he laid it back down and turned toward her.

“Is that what you want, Buffy? For me to wag my finger at you and tell you that you acted rashly by running away and then not waiting until you got home to make this decision. You did, and I can. But I know you love Angel and he has proven on more than one occasion that he loves you. Spike is a whole other matter but maybe with the chip and Angel’s influence maybe it will be all right. He’s been helping this summer and I think that with encouragement especially from you and Angel he could even become a full-fledged white hat.”

Buffy chuckled but stopped when Giles met her with a serious gaze.

“So,” he said, “with that said, if you’re looking for guilt, I’m not your man. All you will have from me is my support…and my respect.”

“Why?”

Her Watcher’s words had taken her by surprise. The last thing that she had ever thought was that she would have any kind of support from him.

“You are a Slayer. I understand what your life is like and how hard it can be.” Giles turned his attention back to his tea cup. “How short it can be. You deserve to find whatever happiness you can find.”

“Thank you.”

Buffy wanted to hug him so badly but she was afraid of being rejected so she let it go and slowly drank her tea.

“I thought about what you said on the phone. And if you still want to train then I will be more than happy to stay and help you.”

“Yes, I do. And I don’t want to wait long to start especially since I won’t be going to college. I will have plenty of free time.”

Giles smiled gently at her. “You’ll be going to college. I told your mother that if she wants any kind of normal life for you then you need to be in college and around other young people. She is going to have a check for you tonight so you can register tomorrow.”

This time she didn’t hesitate, she laid the tea cup on the table and pulled Giles into a hug.

“Thank you so much for everything and for always being there.”

“You’re welcome, Buffy. I love you, too, you know.”

Buffy pulled away from him, “Yeah, I do. So, I register in the morning and then we train tomorrow afternoon?”

“Two o’clock, will that be good for you?”

“Yeah, where are we going to do this since the library is no longer there?”

They both quickly looked around the living room then at each other and shook their heads with a smile.

“Excellent question,” he said.

“I don’t know how you feel about it but there are a lot of rooms at the mansion that aren’t being used for anything. There’s one that Angel said was a ballroom. It’s big and empty, so how about there?”

“That’s fine.”

The topic of conversation then drifted to the training that Giles would be starting her with and what he had planned for the future. Buffy felt herself sliding back into who she was and it felt good. She could tell that Giles wasn’t happy about her choice but was going to accept it for her and she was sure that eventually her mom would give in some when she saw how happy she was. It was just going to take some time.

~~~~~~~~

“You ready for this,” Angel asked as he pulled the car in front of 1630 Revello Drive.

“Yep, as ready as I will ever be.” Buffy replied as she lifted her head in a show of strength that she wasn’t going to back down or appear to be ashamed of her decision.

“We are right here, Love.” Spike said as he tugged gently at her hair and was rewarded with one of her smiles.

They climbed out of the car and grabbed boxes from the backseat before walking toward the door. Apparently Joyce had been watching for them because the door opened as they came up the steps.

“Hello,” Joyce said then gave a disapproving look at the two vampires before she stepped aside to allow them to enter.

“Hi, Mom, I brought them along to help.”

“That’s fine, I’ll wait in the kitchen while you pack.”

Joyce turned and walked away as Buffy led them upstairs. As she stepped into her old room she felt a wave of homesickness but she quickly pushed it aside. This part of her life was over and it was time to turn the page.

“Everything goes. Mom is going to get rid of anything I leave so pack it all.” Buffy said as she headed for her nightstand while Angel headed for her closet and Spike to her dresser. She was just throwing things in and not bothering to worry about damaging anything. As she filled one box she started on another at her desk.

“Slayer, do you own enough clothes?” Spike asked as he filled another box with the items stuffed in her dresser and observed all the clothes that Angel was pulling from the closet to stack on the bed.

“I’m a girl. Do you want to see me in only one outfit? Like someone else we all know.” She teased.

“Actually I prefer…” Spike hesitated as he remembered where they were. “Clothes are good. Play dress up.”

“I’m going to take a load down,” Angel said as he finished filling one of the larger boxes with her clothes.

Buffy finished the desk and turned to clearing off the shelf in the closet, Spike came over to help her as she handed things to him to put in a box. All her things; things she had collected since she was a girl and still felt were valuable were just being shunted around instead of being treasured. She wondered if she would even unpack some of these things in her new life or if they would end up in one of the empty rooms at the mansion. Forgotten as she built new memories and collected new things.

~~~~~~~

Angel stepped back through the front door to find Joyce waiting for him. It was time and in a way it was going to be a relief to get this over with. Without a word he followed her into the kitchen and waited for her to start.

“How could you? If you love her like you say you do, why aren’t you doing what’s best for her?”

“I do love her and I will continue to love her and take care of her,” Angel replied wondering why Joyce couldn’t accept his love for her daughter. For over two years he had been there for Buffy, supporting her, helping to keep her safe and had been a guest in her home. The animosity had been since the beginning and had never completely waned. Except for the fact that he was a vampire, which she hadn’t even known for the first year, he couldn’t think of a reason why this woman could dislike him so much.

“You love her so much that you let her sleep with someone else. My God, Angel, she is eighteen years old.”

The pain at watching Buffy in Spike’s arms filled him again at her words. He turned to look the other way as he tried to convince himself this was the only way. He had to before he could ever try to convince Joyce.

“Buffy and I want to be together. The only way is for her to have her needs completely filled and I have given her that.”

“Your needs you mean. You took a vulnerable girl isolated from her family and friends and seduced her with promises of love and then tell her the only way she can have that love is by screwing someone else. You don’t love her. You’re nothing but a self-serving bastard that is trying to justify a sick relationship.”

Angel turned back to look at the fury and pain on her face. She was reinforcing the doubts that he already had about the choices they had made.

“I love her. Spike isn’t going to hurt her and I’m not going to hurt her. She will never have the life you want her to have. I can at least make sure she is happy.”

“That isn’t what you said when we talked. You agreed that she needed another type of life. That’s why you broke up with her. If you had left things alone and just brought her home then she would have given in and she could have normal.”

“And I never would have been happy.”

Buffy and Spike stood in the doorway to the kitchen and Angel wondered exactly how much she had heard. From the look on her face he knew she had heard enough and he wished he had told her everything before now. Now it was too late and it was just one more thing to cause problems between them.

“Angel, we need to finish loading the things in the car. Would you help Spike while I talk to my mother?”

He nodded relieved that he had escaped her wrath for the moment and quickly fled upstairs with Spike.

“You know he agreed to break up with you. That was the plan.” Her mother looked at her and Buffy felt sorry for her. Her mother was grasping at anything she could to try to keep her daughter here and although Buffy hated doing this, she knew she had to do this in order to have the life she had chosen.

“You both kept secrets from me. That makes you no better or worse than he is.” Buffy moved to stand in front of her mother, “I love you and I’m sorry that this is hurting you so much. But I want to see if this will work. I don’t know if it will and if it doesn’t than I know that I’ll live. I thought I had lost everything a couple of months ago and although it hurt I know I can survive anything now.”

Buffy hugged her mom before stepping away and heading toward the stairs again.

“Buffy,” Joyce held out a check toward her as she came back into the kitchen. “Make something of your life.”

They hugged again before Buffy went to finish moving her things out. She smiled as she climbed the stairs. Everything was falling into place and there was hope that things would only get better as time went on.

TBC