As she moved between the graves her mind returned to the look on Spike’s face when they had left him at home again. He had looked like a little boy denied his most prized possession for something he hadn’t even done. His inability to fight was really beginning to wear at him as they made advancements toward the Initiative.

This time she had made him promise that he would stay there and not go out on his own. She knew he felt useless being left but she didn’t want anything to happen to him and she couldn’t babysit him. If he couldn’t even hit demons then he was totally defenseless in the field. In a way it wasn’t fair that he had been left like that because he couldn’t help himself and had to totally depend on other people to care for him.

With a sigh she was about to give up on this cemetery and move to another one when she heard movement to her left. Suddenly a vampire ran across her path and she jumped into action. Hoping he was running because he was being chased she played with him until she heard the sound of more running feet coming her way and as Riley and two of his men burst onto the scene she intensified the fight.

At first Riley shouted at her that they would help her but stopped in mid-sentence as he realized that she had just staked the vamp. After exchanging looks with his associates he moved to stand in front of her as she casually put her stake in her pocket again.

“Just who are you Buffy?”

“I’m Buffy.”

“No, this time I want to know who you are. You’re sneaking around in our woods, you come into our fraternity nosing around where you don’t belong and now you’re out here staking vampires. And I want an explanation.”

Buffy turned and started to walk away but tossed over her shoulder, “I was checking out the competition. I’m the Slayer.”

“The who?” Riley asked as he caught up with her. “Hold on a minute.”

She stopped as if reluctant to talk to him. “You keep wanting to know who I am but you haven’t even introduced me to your Siamese twin buddies here.”

“Buffy, this is Graham and Forrest. Guys, you know who Buffy is.” They nodded at her as she returned the favor. “Now who is the Slayer?”

“You don’t know who the Slayer is but yet you’re out here on my turf doing my job?”

“What are you talking about?” Forrest asked.

“I’m the chosen one. In each generation a Slayer is born.” She said exasperated as she realized that they had no idea who she was. “Look I’m a vampire Slayer.”

“That’s a myth that vampires tell each other. Like the boogie man.” Forrest scathingly stated.

“I don’t look like a myth to me. Do I to you?” She asked as her hands found themselves resting on her hips.

“No, but come on, Buffy, you’ve been lying to us since day one and now we are supposed to believe you.” Riley said.

“Ummm, well, now you have the truth. So, who are you and what are you doing here in Sunnydale?”

That shut them up as they looked at each other and Riley silently cautioned them not to tell her anything.

“We’re students.” Riley said.

“Now, you’re the one who’s lying.” Buffy said. “Sunnydale is my town and I’ll find out your secrets sooner or later. We can find a way to share or…” A delicate shrug of her shoulders as she stared Riley down.

When he didn’t respond to her she started to walk away but stopped as he called out to her again. This time, however, she didn’t turn around.

“Buffy, we do need to talk but I need to check on some things first.”

She walked off again, “You know where to find me,” she called. This time she didn’t stop as she headed toward home. Their curiosity was up and there would be future contact that much she was certain of. Angel agreed with her when he caught up with her. Their conversation on the walk home was a rehash of what had happened and what they knew of the lab where Spike had been taken. But since there was really nothing new not a whole lot was accomplished.

Once they were home Angel excused himself to take a shower while Buffy went to locate Spike. He was in his room sitting cross legged on his bed painting his nails.

“Hey, there, glad you decided to stay home.”

“Yes, the family pet was a good boy and stayed home.” Spike barely glanced at her as she climbed on the bed. “Hey, you made me mess up.”

“Sorry,” Buffy chuckled as she reached out for his hand. She grabbed a tissue and wiped the nail clean. “Hand me the bottle.” When he just stared at her, she snapped her fingers until he dutifully handed her the bottle. With careful precision she began to paint the nail again. “We made contact.”

“And did he take the bait?”

“I think so. He said we need to talk but he has to report to whoever he works for. Hopefully, the next time I have class, he’ll approach me.” She softly blew on his nail and held it out for him to inspect. “See all better.”

“Thanks,” Spike said as he allowed her to pull his hand back to work on the next nail. “So, did Angel stay hidden or did he have to stick his nose in things?”

Buffy glanced up at him quickly. “He followed the plan that WE worked out. It’s not a competition, you know?”

“Isn’t it?”

Angel stepped into the room, and moved toward the bed. “Was wondering where you two were.” When he saw what they were doing he attempted to make a joke with his next question. “What are my girls up too?” He laughed at his own effort but quickly fell silent as Spike reacted to his words and Angel realized that he had only succeeded in hurting his Childe.

The bottle of polish was snatched from Buffy’s hand and thrown across the room to leave a trail of the black liquid across the carpet and down the wall. With a hurt and angry look, Spike fled from the room, leaving the other two to stare at his disappearing form.

“What did I say?” Angel asked as he stared in befuddlement as the younger vampire fled the room.

Buffy crawled off the bed, “You can be so dense sometimes.” She declared as she followed Spike from the room. It was natural to Angel for Spike to be beneath him in both family structure and dignity. Maybe if Spike was able to stand on his own and fight back, it wouldn’t be such a big deal for things to stay as they always had. But now that Spike was chipped, it wasn’t fair that Angel constantly made him feel as if was weaker. It only reinforced the feeling of emasculation that the Initiative had left Spike with and sometimes Angel just didn’t understand or realize that was what he was doing.

She knew where Spike had gone to. It was to his spot in the mansion to be alone to think, dream, sulk or read and it was on the second floor in a small, unused room. There was a window seat that overlooked the street. It was never in direct sunlight and Spike could watch the people going by or the kids playing.

“Hi,” she called out softly as she waited in the doorway.

“Go away.” Spike only glanced at her for a moment. A small part of him had hoped that it would be Angel that would come to look for him. All he wanted was a small crumb of hope that his Sire might care.

“No.”

He sighed and continued to stare out the window as she came to sit facing him on the seat. Her hand covered his and her thumb softly stroked his flesh.

“Don’t want your pity.”

“I’m not offering it.”

Confusion clouded the vampire’s features as he stared at her. Her hand softly caressed his angled cheek and fingertips drifted across his lips then it returned to her lap as he ignored her. Buffy didn’t realize it but her constant defense of him and nurturing only made him feel worse. Because he couldn’t give back to her in the way he wanted, which was to be a part of the team and help in the fight, all he seemed to do was hide behind her skirts.

“Did you come to tell me he didn’t mean it? That it was a joke I should forget about?”

“No, he was wrong to say it. Angel just doesn’t seem to understand sometimes.”

He laughed, “No shit, little girl. All he understands it that he has to squash everyone around him in order for him to feel like he’s somebody.”

Buffy laid her head against the wall and closed her eyes and a part of him hated hurting her like that. She tried to keep the balance between them. To protect them from each other with her own romantic fantasies that Spike didn’t want to believe in but sometimes indulged in.

“He cares about you.” She finally said as she opened her eyes to look at him again.

“I was beginning to think so,” Spike said in a far off voice as his face briefly flashed emotions much deeper than confusion. “Like the other night when we just kissed for a long time. He’s never done that before. It’s always been about getting off or the power of having me at his mercy. It was almost like he really wanted me not just my body. I guess I was wrong.”

He leaned his head against the window as he tried to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks. His relationship with his Sire had always been a tug-of-war of power and pain, at least, until this time. This time he had gotten to know the man that Angel was beneath his pride and defined role. And it was that man that had crept inside of who Spike was and taken hold of his heart.

As his expression gave him away, Buffy whispered in a voice filled with awe. “You’re in love with him.”

His reaction was instantaneous as he stood, “Shut your mouth. I am not in love with him.” Spike walked to the other side of the room and lit a cigarette. His mask and his amour were now fully back in place as he refused to admit to something that still filled him with a shame born of weakness.

“Yes, you are.”

Spike crossed his arms across his body as he refused to say anymore even when she made her way toward him. His eyes flickered closed trying to keep the truth from her.

“Are you afraid?”

“Of what?”

“That if you admit it then you become everything that you have called him in an attempt to tear him down. Ponce, Nancy Boy, Peaches...”

“I get it. I get.” Spike bitterly laughed as he opened his eyes to look around the room. “That’s part of it, you know? Never considered myself one of them but…”

“You came back and he was different. The relationship was different. He cared about you and protected you and made you feel special and you fell in love with him.”

His gaze was now over her head. “Yeah, he was. He wasn’t the Angelus I had always known. I almost felt important to him and that he cared about me.”

“Hey, talking to someone in the same club.” Buffy chuckled. “Why haven’t you told him?”

“Are you soddin’ crazy? I’m still his Childe and now a needy Childe at that. It’s pity I’m getting and his sense of responsibility. I’ll even give you that, yeah, he cares about me but nothing more.” Spike threw his cigarette on the floor and ground it out before Buffy pulled him into her arms.

This time he allowed himself the comfort and security of her embrace. It was funny but in her arms was one of the few places he was sure of anything anymore. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as they shared their love for the same man.

“Don’t tell him, okay?” Spike mumbled into her hair. “I don’t want him to know yet.”

“No, I won’t, that’s between you two.”

He held onto her like a lifeline and allowed the tension to leave his body. Her hands softly caressed his back as they stood lost in their own thoughts. The silence between them was broken when her stomach growled loudly.

“Hungry, are we?” Spike laughed. “I guess that no matter what other dire situations happen, we can always count on the hungry and horny state after patrol. Which one do you want to take care of first?”

“Food, thank you, would be very nice.”

Holding hands they made way their way toward the stairs, stopping briefly by his room to clean up the nail polish, but were surprised to find that it had already been taken care of. They hurriedly finished the trip downstairs, and not seeing Angel in the living room or his bedroom, made their way into the kitchen. Angel was leaning against the counter by the microwave when they entered. On the table was a box of pizza and another take out box.

“Ordered pizza and wings for you two,” Angel said. “And I’m heating up some blood for you, Spike.”

“Thanks.”

Buffy and Spike sat at the table, opened the boxes and began to fix plates. When the microwave went off, Spike started to stand to get his blood but Angel gestured for him to sit, as he brought it to him. Maybe Angel had listened to Buffy after all somewhere along the line concerning Spike. He was clearly uncomfortable as he looked down at his Childe and mate.

“If you two have everything you need, I’ll turn in.”

“Stay,” Spike said into his slice of pizza. For each gesture and step that Angel took toward him, Spike vowed that he would make sure Angel knew he was welcome there. Maybe one day things would change between them if they both kept trying. “Keep us company, and then we’ll all turn in together.”