Once home Angel carried Buffy upstairs to her bathroom. He set her on her feet and undressed her as Spike filled the tub. Unspoken, they both knew her enough to know that this would be what she wanted. As he knelt on the floor to remove her shoes, Spike did her hair up in a clip, as she watched them with a sated smile on her lips. Angel’s hands guided him up and over her body; delicate kisses gave homage to the bruises already forming on her thighs and bottom. Amongst her curls was the subtle trace of blood left by her fierce coupling with his Childe and unable to resist Angel dipped his tongue into her altar just to taste their love. Buffy shivered under his ministrations before he stood. She pulled him to her, pressing her lips to his, her tongue darting in to savor what he had and he growled into her mouth as Spike chuckled behind them.

“Our little girl has grown up,” Spike said unnecessarily as Angel met his eyes and nodded. Together they guided her into the steaming water in the tub and waited as she settled in for a long soak. Sighing, contented, she leaned back, her eyes watching them for a moment.

“Go, talk, I’ll be down when I am done.”

“Call if you need anything,” Spike said.

Angel smiled at them, at his Childe taking control, and for some reason it felt okay. Not wanting to wait any longer to settle this, he took Spike’s hand and pulled him along. With relief he felt no resistance as he led him downstairs. For Buffy, for Spike and for himself, he would blunder his way through this and hope that his heart would lead him to say the right things. Angel wasn’t sure whether to talk in the living room or his bedroom but it was Spike that settled it as he refused to move any further than the main area.

“What do you want to talk about?”

The challenge was in his Childe’s tone, the prideful attitude and Angel felt a small pricking of anger in his plan but he forced it down. He reminded himself that it was his doing that left Spike so defensive. What choice did the younger vampire have but to protect himself from his Sire? A century with hardly any kindness and that which was given came with too many stipulations.

“Us, you, Buffy,” Angel replied.

“Talk.”

“You need to come home and stay.”

Spike laughed as Angel realized that he had fallen on familiar demands and he floundered for something to make it right.

“No, you need to get off your damn pedestal for once. Buffy chose me, ME, as her mate and for some reason she still wants you, too. So, we need to figure out how to do this. Just know that I am not going to take orders from you like a damn minion anymore.”

“I don’t know how,” Angel replied. It was as honest as he could be as he opened himself up for the sarcasm that he knew was coming. The scathing remarks that would make him feel like he did as a child as his father cut him to ribbons.

“You don’t how to what? Share? That’s obvious; it always has been, because everything and everyone has to be your possession. Or how to get off that pedestal? You know, come down with us common folk and live? Or is it that you don’t know how to ask instead of issuing orders, oh wait a minute it’s only me that you order around because Buffy, you bow down to. So, which is it Sire?”

And Angel felt like a ten-year-old again waiting for his father’s belt as Spike tore him apart. Words would only come out wrong and besides there was a lump blocking his throat anyway so he stepped closer to the source of his pain and eventually his hope. Angel’s fingers traced that face as he saw it contort in confusion and the azure eyes cloud over in doubts.

“I love you; Spike and I need you to show me how to do it because I don’t know.”

“You don’t know what?”

Spike’s voice was soft and incredulous as he looked at him and Angel asked for guidance as he kept tearing at the walls he lived behind. Open your mouth and say it, he told himself as Spike waited for his answer.

“I love you, William. I think I have always loved you. Since the beginning and that’s why I always tried to hurt you so much. It was because you were my weakness and I was afraid of ever being weak again.”

Angel smiled as he watched the emotions dance across his Childe’s face. The silence between them grew deeper as they stared at each other through the final gate between them.

“What do you want from me?” Spike finally asked. His face showed his wariness of Angel’s declaration. There had to be intervention involved in the resolution of these two hearts because a voice inside Angel told him that it was no use, that Spike would never love him or help him but somehow when he wanted to be cold and sarcastic to protect his heart, his words came out entirely different.

“God, Spike, how many times do I need to ask you, beg you, plead with you, to show me the way. I don’t know how to be happy. I’m scared to live but I want it with every fiber of my being. Help me because you know how to. How to laugh, and joke, and play, and love, show me.”

The gate crumbled between them as Angel was dragged against Spike’s body, their lips meeting in a desperate need to communicate all the emotions they had held back for so long. It was better than the night they had kissed for so long because neither was hoping this time. This time they both knew as Spike whispered, “I love you,” into his Sire’s ear.

“Make love with me,” Angel requested. No obligations, no familial requirements, it was a plea from one lover to another as he waited for a response.

“Nothing is going to stop me,” the lover answered leaving Angel relieved.

Taking the younger vampire’s hands his Sire led him into the bedroom. As Spike sat on the edge of the bed to remove his Doc’s, Angel walked around the room lighting candles before shedding his clothes. He felt almost shy for the first time in his nudity before the perfection of his lover. Ducking his head, Angel returned to Spike, avoided looking into the azure depths of his eyes and began to undress the blonde. Kneeling on the floor as Spike stepped out his jeans, he repeated the journey that he had taken with Buffy. Finally, the two vampires were naked and facing each other, all the yearning and need evident on their faces and Angel felt not only his fear but also the fear of his Childe. He stroked Spike’s chest and gently manipulated one small brown nipple into a mirror hardness of his genitalia.

The blonde shifted backward onto the bed and Angel could only follow. If Spike led him into the very depths of hell he would gladly follow because he needed this moment to reaffirm who he was. Who he was trying to be and only Spike could complete his heart. They lay next to each other, eyes the color of rich coffee stared into the coolness of cerulean eyes, as they drank in the knowledge that things would never be the same again. Slow as dark molasses, and soft as a summer cloud, hands caressed skin, as if time had stopped just for this moment, they relearned flesh that was as familiar as their own and had been for a hundred years. Then lips followed, kisses, wet and cool, forged trails over chests and stomachs, asses and thighs. Spike cried out as Angel nipped along the tender flesh of his inner thighs and cool breath was blown over his balls and throbbing cock but still that was ignored for now.

In retaliation Angel was laughingly pushed down as Spike teased him unmercifully. Angel alternately sighed and begged as the blonde began his assault as far down as his toes and ended with a wet tongue to the nape of his neck. The Sire covered completely by that of his love, Spike lay upon his back and nuzzled his neck and cheek before giving quick hard kisses to the corner of his mouth and Angel felt joy for the first time in a longtime but he knew. Knew that this wasn’t the perfect happiness and never would be. It wasn’t that his love wasn’t deep or strong enough for Spike but that it would always be bittersweet because for each kiss was the memory of a whip stroke or shackles or an angry fuck that had left his Childe bleeding and hurt. Each time they made love it would only shadow another time that wasn’t as beautiful. It was still Buffy, the purity of his love for her, untainted by Angelus that could bring forth the devil again. And it was this knowledge that he gave himself over completely to the emotions that Spike invoked in him.

Angel rolled onto his back again so that he could look up at his love and in that moment made a decision to prove how much he truly loved the creature sharing his bed. Shifting to his side, Angel reached into the nightstand drawer and removed the small tube. And when Spike rolled onto his stomach so that his Sire could prepare him, Angel smiled as instead he handed the tube over.

“I want you,” Angel whispered as he looked anywhere but at his Childe.

~~~~~~~~~

A hundred quips came to mind, a thousand retorts, they were all there on the tip of his tongue but it was the look of insecurity and hope that were fighting for precedence in the brown eyes that made Spike shut his mouth so fast that his teeth clicked together. He placed his hand on Angel’s stomach, caressing with fingertips, as he contemplated the gift that was being handed him. With Buffy it had been so easy to accept it, she had always believed in him, made him a part of them while Angel had constantly fought him. His Sire had fought giving him any power or respect in the relationship even though his words said differently. It hurt that they hadn’t tried to find him before they had been hit with the truth.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, Ang, just a little overwhelmed, I guess.”

Spike watched Angel’s eyes close in uncertainty. He knew that Angel had never bottomed before. The older vampire always had to be the one with the control, to be dominant, for him to give it so willingly to Spike was overwhelming. Angel looked up at him again and Spike could see the wall beginning to rise again and that made his decision. No matter what it had taken to sledgehammer through his Sire’s pride and arrogance, he’d take it. This opportunity, this loving side of him, might never come again. In the morning Angel might realize what he had done and run from him. And maybe if he took the gift offered, with the love behind it, it might keep them together. Keep all of them together.

“Don’t close up, not now, just scaring me that’s all,” Spike said, turning the brunette to look at him. His hand stroked Angel’s face as he leaned over to kiss him again. Soft, trembling, both unsure, it was almost sickeningly, humanly, sweet, like two virgins fumbling in a ritual of sacrifice for another’s love.

Spike coated his fingers with the lube and settled between Angel’s legs. Aiming to give the most pleasure, with the least amount of fumbling and pain, Spike engulfed his Sire’s cock in his mouth, sucking as his finger pushed into unknown territory. The tension in Angel was evident, he wasn’t relaxed and Spike used his free hand to stroke soothing patterns along Angel’s hips and thighs as he waited. The moment that he relaxed, Spike pulled back, and concentrated on the cock in his mouth. He loved it with everything he had until Angel was almost whimpering in need. Spike let it slip out and crawled over his Sire so he could look into his eyes.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Spike asked.

“Yes.”

Taking his Sire’s hand, Spike placed it on his own erection and together they led him inside. The tension returned and the blonde waited until Angel pushed up, his body asking for more, before Spike let himself slide in, inch by inch, until he was all the way in. For a moment their eyes met as they took in the magnitude of the moment. The shift in power and the vulnerability that it took for them to get there and both wanted to weep like little girls but instead they grinned. Goofy, filled with elation, at what they were doing. Freedom finally from everything that the world expected and wanted them to be, freedom that only their hearts could have given them. The solemnity was absorbed, digested and gave way to an adrenalin free fall that left both of them chuckling.

“Are you going to fuck me or are you going to stare at me all day?”

“Oh, yeah, you are going to be fucked but good,” Spike promised.

Angel’s hands slid down Spike’s chest, to his waist to settle on his ass, fingers digging into the firm flesh, waiting and Spike didn’t keep him waiting for long. And like an earlier vow to someone else, Spike was going to make sure the ride was worth it.

~~~~~~~~~

There wasn’t a part of Buffy not humming along to the soft jazz tune in her head. It was some classic she didn’t even know the name of. Angel liked to play it while he read. It was associated with warmth and companionship and lazy nights with nothing to do but enjoy each other. Like this night. After wrapping a towel around her, Buffy made her way downstairs to find her vampires. There hadn’t been sounds of crashing or fighting or yelling so maybe they had kissed and made up. As she made her way across the living room she could hear the sounds of their lovemaking and she grinned. Everything was working out and the bedroom door was open which meant it was all right for her to join them.

But at the door she stopped, her grin, changing to an ‘O’ as her jaw dropped at the scene before her. Spike was taking Angel, their bodies and mouth entwined in the most loving basic way possible for two creatures. It was unbelievable to her and she had to blink a couple of times to fully accept it. They had never done this before and it could only mean one thing as she took a couple of hesitant steps into the room. And if it meant what she thought it did, then everything between them had changed. They both looked over at her as she waited for an invitation to join them and it came. Angel held his hand out to her and she scampered over to crawl onto the bed beside them. Spike grinned at her as she grasped Angel’s hand. Her fingers weaved brown locks through them as she unintentionally mimicked Angel’s gestures from the night she had given them her virginity.

Buffy watched, transfixed at the sight of their coupling and she felt a sense of wonder at the love that had to bring them to this point. She cried for all of them as they moved closer to their climaxes as Spike’s hand now encased Angel taking him along to the same destination. It was Angel that came first, spilling his seed over his belly and Spike’s hand.

“Be mine, Spike, let me be yours,” Angel whispered, turning his head to the side. For the first time since her calling Buffy was jealous of vampires; their ability to mate and claim so easily, without the courtship of humans, she wanted to be a part of something that she couldn’t and she felt left out of the bonding taking place beside her. Her hand followed the planes of Spike’s back as he bit into his Sire’s neck. His body shuddered in his orgasm. Angel wrapped his arms around his Childe and in turn bit his neck.

It was too much, she couldn’t be a part of this and Buffy began to back off the bed when Angel’s hand clasped her wrist. The two vampires separated and Angel pulled her to them.

“Drink, Buffy, and you will make the claim complete.” Angel whispered.

“Will I become a…?”

“No, Love, you won’t take enough, hurry before they close.”

Together they directed her to the bites and soothed her as she tasted each of them. The thick coppery fluid gave her a sense of power and love as she completed the mating between them. They were one now. Mates. Overwhelmed by the rituals and that they were together again, Buffy sobbed. The two males pulled her between them as they cuddled together. Their bodies and hearts entwined to form one entity. The love between them was now open and real and there was no turning back for any of them.

“Okay, now what?” she whispered.

They both laughed.

“Call Giles and tell him that we are all alive and then sleep. Definitely sleep.” Angel said.

“I guess I have to be the party pooper but I need to shower and get out of here. I’ve been gone too long.”

Spike crawled off the bed to head for the shower when Angel jumped up and grabbed him.

“You son of a bitch. How could you?” Angel snarled. “After what you were given tonight? After we bonded, the three of us?”

Buffy rushed between them but Angel pushed her aside as his hand closed around Spike’s throat and pushed him against the wall. Spike’s hands closed around the arm holding him trying to give himself room to talk.

“What did you expect? That I would just walk away from it. I need to finish it. For me, for us.”

“Us? How could what the hell you’re doing with them, do anything but destroy us?”

Suddenly everything became clear to Buffy as she watched her mates. This time she stepped between them and pushed them away from each other. Refusing to let their newfound connections be destroyed, she faced Angel.

“Giles didn’t tell you, did he?”

“Tell me what?”

“You don’t know? You really don’t know?” Buffy said in wonder. She turned to face Spike with a grin lighting up her face. “Spike, he doesn’t know. He still thinks you’re playing for the other side.”

“What don’t I know?” Angel growled.

~~~~~~~~

Spike looked from Buffy’s face to that of his Sire’s still filled with anger. Her words made sense and it that moment he knew that it was true, awe lit up his heart that Angel had told him he was loved, had given up control to him and bonded with him all while thinking he had betrayed them. Angel believed that he could be brought back to their family with love and had sacrificed himself not to prove a point but to bring him home and no matter how weak it made Spike look, he wept.

“You didn’t know, you didn’t know,” Spike said as he cradled Angel’s face in his hands. “You really love me.”

“Of course, I love you. Wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.” Angel replied as he pulled Spike into his arms. “Will someone explain what is going on?”

“Angel,” Buffy said. “Spike has been giving information to Giles. That was one of the reasons there was a meeting tonight. So, Giles could tell us what Spike knew. He didn’t betray us.”

“You didn’t betray us. It was all to help us.” Angel wiped the tears from his Childe’s face as Spike trembled before him. It was too much that Angel really did love him without demands or requirements. He loved him evil or good and it broke through whatever reservations Spike had been holding onto.

“Yes, I love you, Spike. For now and for always.” Angel said, his voice assured before he chuckled. “God, I sound like a girl.”

“I’m crying like a girl,” Spike joked.

“Hey, I am the girl and I’m acting more manly than either of you, ponces.”