Never had Angel felt so content and he knew that his decision not to make love to Buffy was the right one. Not if the feelings he was having was just a result to waking up with her snuggled against him. His hand was splayed across her belly and her hand rested on top of his. Next to her Spike was sleeping on his side facing her. His face nestled in the crook of her shoulder with one leg between hers. To have Spike in his bed was one of happiness but to have Buffy also was one of joy. The two of them filled so much of the emptiness that existed in him. When he looked back his life had always had this vast emptiness to it, both in his worthless life as a human and especially in his terror filled reign as Angelus.

Last night after Buffy had lost her temper and allowed so much of the poisonous emotions to be released, she had settled down into almost a peaceful state. You could almost hear the thoughts being formed in her mind and he had let her be. Angel knew he had to face the fact that the girl that he had loved before was now gone forever but the girl she had become was also leaving. In their place a woman was forming from their pain and experience, one that would be more at ease with who she was and able to wield her special magic with love and generosity.

The people in her life had let her down. Her mother, Giles and him had never really formed a bond between them and with that was no communication. It was no wonder Buffy had felt the need for flight when they had all decided her life for her and delivered their conclusions within days without consulting the other. She was right. Buffy decided the fate of the world everyday, choosing life and death for so many others, but yet none of the people closest to her thought she had the capability of making decisions concerning what was best for her. Only after she had left home had the three of them found a way of making a truce to find her and bring her home. Just as much as it killed him to wait he would let her decide about becoming his mate. He wanted to cajole her and seduce her with his dreams of them but he wanted her to want it. And he would wait until she was ready.

The girl consuming his thoughts shifted in her sleep until she was on her back. Spike followed her letting his head rest against her breast while his arm draped across her thighs. Angel watched in amusement as his fingers curled barely brushing against her bottom then when he met no opposition the blonde vampire cupped her cheek. Smiling contentedly Spike relaxed against the Slayer as Angel choked back a laugh but they both started as Buffy giggled. Her hand covered the one feeling her and squeezed it then her fingers traced his skin until she let them rest on his arm. Her other arm came around Spike’s back holding him to her. Angel felt the jealousy rise but as he tried to ignore it Buffy nuzzled his jaw with her lips until he turned to kiss her.

“Morning, Angel, I love you,” she whispered against his mouth and he melted under her ministrations. That was all it took. Those words to be uttered again and he was ready for anything. As long as her heart was his, he would find a way to share her body. Ultimately, if she was happy and content then her love would only flourish more for him especially if he was the one that was willing to give her the freedom to be fulfilled.

He settled further down into the bed and laid his arm across them both. His fingers traced the planes of Spike’s back softly as he recalled the change in him last night. Once he had seen the emotionally hurting and vulnerable side of Buffy, the natural caretaker in Spike had gone into overdrive. He was the one that insisted they check into a slightly better hotel that advertised Jacuzzi tubs so that Buffy could have a good long soak. But they hadn’t realized that meant he wanted to ‘bathe’ her himself and she had shrieked for him to get out when he had barged into the bathroom. Then when she had seen the hurt in his eyes and realized he was serious and not bent on seduction she had allowed him to scrub her back. Somehow she had relaxed and allowed him to stay while she soaked. Angel could hear their laughter as they talked and forced himself to stay where he was to allow them to bond. After she was done, Spike had bundled her into bed with them, saying she needed the reassurance of being with them. They had all fallen into a contented sleep together showing that Spike had been right.

“Angel, can I ask you a question?” Buffy asked softly as she felt the men in her arms tense in anticipation of what she was going to ask.

“Anything,” Angel responded.

“If I agree to be your mate, is there a ritual or something?”

He shifted in response, propping himself up on his elbow in order to look at her. The questions were inevitable if she was going to make the right decision for her and wanted her to know that he was open to them.

“No. If you were a vampire then there would be but since you’re not, it’s more of you just agreeing to it.”

“Would we sleep together or all three of us or what?”

Angel laughed softly, “Spike has his own room at the mansion and we would fix one for you. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea for me and you to share a bed all the time. I know that it would be too tempting for me.”

Her eyebrows came together as she looked up at him, “So, do Spike and I draw numbers or something for being with you or me and him.”

Both vampires had to stifle down their laughter at her naiveté but managed it anyway so as not to hurt her. She was innocent in the ways of living with someone and it had to be confusing to her as to how two people would live together much less three of them.

“It will fall into place. Pretty much what is comfortable and agreeable for everybody.”

She nodded. After a few moments she formed the question that was weighing on her mind but wasn’t sure if she was allowed to ask. She had seen Spike request permission to touch her and it made her wonder.

“You said you wanted to be there when Spike and I have sex,” her voice got lower as she spoke making both of them almost have to strain to hear her mumbled question. “What happens after we do and you’re not around and we want to do it again?”

“Do you doubt that you would, Love?” Spike grumbled into her stomach.

“Shush, boy. Once I have given my permission then he would be there for you whenever you wanted him.”

“What if he doesn’t like being with me?”

“He is there for you. It doesn’t matter if you please him as long as he pleases you.”

“Oh.”

“Might be nice if you would try though,” Spike said.

“Thought I told you to shush,” Angel reminded him. His hand rose to ruffle Spike’s hair affectionately. He knew that part of Spike was trying to manipulate her into caring about him in order to secure a safer position for him. It was expected and he would have been surprised if he hadn’t been. He had to have a talk with Spike later, though, to make sure he knew that Buffy’s heart and emotions were not to be played with. Angel knew who and what Spike was, he had helped to create him, but Buffy didn’t and she didn’t deserve to be caught in any games his Childe wanted to play. Pity and a need to nurture would make her easy prey to Spike’s charms and beguiling ways. Angel could only hope that true affection would develop between the two before any damage could be caused on either party and that last night had opened the door for that to happen. He didn’t want to have to choose between them at a later date because without both, he couldn’t be with the other.

“Do I have free reign of the mansion? Is the kitchen usable and what about bathrooms?”

Somewhere in his musings Buffy had moved to more practical matters.

“What is mine is yours so, yes, the mansion is yours to roam or do with as you will. As is my money which I will show you where it is when we get back. The kitchen is reasonably clean and the refrigerator works but we will have to get you the rest of what you need. And the room that I plan to give you has a bathroom attached.”

Buffy nodded again knowing she had enough information for now. Angel was cooperative and open and Spike was still Spike. She just wasn’t sure which side of him was for real. And what his motivation for being nice to her but as long as Angel trusted her with him then she would too.

“I’m going to let you guys get some more sleep. I need to run a couple of errands at the mall across the street but I’ll pick up your blood first.”

Angel nodded and kissed her softly before she started to scoot down the bed. Spike had shifted to his back when she started to move but grabbed her hand as she climbed off the bed.

“What about me?” He asked with that wicked lilt to his voice. This was when she wasn’t sure of him but she did what he wanted and leaned down to kiss him before moving off to the shower.

~~~~~~~~

Once he heard the shower running, Spike turned to get closer to his Sire but there was no welcoming embrace for him. Feeling a coldness run over him Spike opened his eyes to find Angel carefully studying him as if he had never seen him before.

“What did I do?”

“Nothing yet,” Angel’s fingers gently traced his Childe’s jaw before following the curves of his lips. “I love her. She is going to be my mate and you make sure that you treat her with the respect that position deserves. Be aware of this, as long as you don’t hurt her, manipulate her, or play games with her heart and emotions, you are welcome in our lives. The moment that you do, I will cut you loose.”

Blue eyes shuttered closed as the coldness became icy fear that clutched at his heart. Angelus always knew. Almost always knew before Spike did of the feeble plans that he attempted and they never came to fulfillment because of it. Why would Angel be different? Of course, the bitch would come first. It would take just one whine from her and his life would be over.

Angel’s mouth covered his in an almost brutal kiss that was another reminder of the pain from the other days and Spike felt something wilt inside of him. It was his hope of loving and being loved. Spike refused to see that Angel was just calling him on something that he was actually doing or had been doing. Or wanted to do and knew he couldn’t. He had never been able to hurt Buffy before and now that he had been close to her, touched her, smelled her, tasted her and heard her tears, he knew he could never plot to hurt her with the detachedness that it required of him to hurt anyone. She was now a living, breathing reality to him and no longer just the enemy. Anger twisted in him though, for Angel’s warning and his own traitorous emotions.

“Yes, sir,” Spike whispered when Angel freed him. His hands moved to run over Angel’s body determined to prove that he was still worthy of his position but was surprised when they were stilled by larger ones.

“Don’t. Not to prove anything. Only if you want to,” Angel whispered to him as he slowly sucked the blonde’s ear lobe into his mouth.

Spike mewled and pressed himself closer to the body he desired. “I want to,” he whispered as his hand went down to cup the other man, grateful when it responded to him. Maybe he could still find a way to keep himself secure because Buffy couldn’t give this to Angel as his hand wrapped around his Sire’s length, slowly stroking him, and Buffy didn’t know Angel the way he did. As Angel pushed him onto his back, he smiled in the satisfaction that Buffy would never have Angel inside her body and it was enough for now to stroke his ego back into a happy mood.

~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy wrapped the second towel around her body as she stepped out of the shower. Her hand wiped steam from the mirror then smiled in amusement as she heard noises from the bedroom. When she heard Spike call Angel’s name with a cry for more, a dull ache formed in her lower belly, and she wanted to know that intimacy with Spike and with Angel. A smile danced across her face as she wondered what they would do if she crawled into bed with them. It didn’t take long for her to realize that they would welcome her and that it would be good.

However, there were things she needed to do before she was ready to make that commitment. Her gaze returned to the mirror and she looked at Anne. She didn’t want to be Anne anymore and she didn’t want to be the Buffy she was before. This new Buffy wanted to take control of her life and not just react anymore. To make the decisions that was the best for her and would make her happy. In order for that to happen then she had to be sure of what she was doing so that she couldn’t be persuaded from them or appear weak.

Buffy’s fingers ran through her red hair wrinkling her nose as she remembered being blonde. Going back to being blonde was her first decision in her new life. Then she decided the inch long fingernails were next, they would only hinder her when she was patrolling. As she looked at her self she decided she liked the nose ring and that would stay. Smiling in a new found confidence she finished up in the bathroom before pressing her ear to the door to make sure that the vampires were done before she moved into the main room.

After grabbing her bag she reached for Angel’s shaving kit because that was where he stashed his money. She pulled the rubber banded wad out and fanned it lightly half heartedly counting the amount. He had told her to take money from there to pay for their nourishment that it wasn’t her responsibility and if she needed or wanted any to take it. Glancing over at the two in the bed that only appeared to be asleep she grabbed a small bill off the top.

“Take what you want. I told you what was mine was yours.”

“I haven’t agreed yet.” She said quietly while still holding the bills in one hand.

“Then consider it a loan and you can pay me back after we get back.”

If she wanted to get the things done that she wanted then she would need the cash. After pulling off some larger denominations she quickly scribbled an IOU on a napkin and stuck it under the rubber band. Until she made an irrevocable announcement then she wanted to remain independent. It may appear silly but she never wanted to be completely dependent on anyone or in anyone’s debt again. She had realized that if you were then they had some sort of power over you just like Spike had said.

Buffy smiled as she crawled onto the bed and over Spike. “Thank you,” she whispered as she kissed him. Leaning over she kissed Angel next, “Thank you. I love you.”

Then she was heading out the door with a ‘see ya later’.

Spike could only stare in astonishment as the Slayer gaily sauntered out the door and wondered what the hell she was thanking him for. His eyes met Angel’s and they both shrugged their confusion before they settled down to get a few more hours sleep while she was gone.

TBC