My Lover
It’s Saturday afternoon.
There are a thousand other things I could be doing but I’m here. Standing
outside his crypt. Dawn has taken off with Janice for the day.
I shouldn’t be here. He’s a
vampire. A soulless vampire but somehow…do I even admit it. Yes, I do. He’s the
only one who understands. And the only one who doesn’t care how dark my world
is now. He just accepts it.
There’s no need to knock. I
don’t. A part of me thinks he doesn’t have any rights. Any feelings. He can’t
love or want or dream or need. He’s a demon. So I go in. Let the door slam like
I do a thousand other times. The television is blaring some movie I don’t know.
The vamp does like his shows.
“Shut the door, Luv,” Spike
says, only glancing at me for a second. “I can’t get to the kitchen without
walking in sunlight.”
“Don’t give a fuck,” I tell him
harshly as I head for the couch. “Maybe you’ll go up in flames and I’ll be
amused.”
“You’d like that wouldn’t
you?”
“Yeah.”
No, I wouldn’t. He knows it,
too. I settle on the couch. Look at him again when he returns to looking at the
screen. He’s sitting there with his bad ass attitude. One leg slung over the
arm of the chair. His shirt is unbuttoned and his fingers are scratching his
stomach. He’s hot. He’s also ignoring me. I want to fuck. Something, anything
to while away the day. I’m bored, I’m horny, and that’s what Spike is there
for. To scratch my itch, take away my pain, make me feel something. To make me
feel whole again.
“What are you watching?”
“Rear Window.”
“What’s it about?”
My fingers play with the
loose threads on the couch. I wish he’d look at me. Do something. I sigh and
get up to close the door. Maybe now he’ll acknowledge my presence. Finally, he
tears his eyes away to look at me. Well, more like my ass. It’s okay. If he’s
looking then it probably won’t be long till we’re fucking.
“It’s about a guy who
watches this neighbor kill his wife.”
“Nice,” I say sarcastically
while I head for the refrigerator. Yep, it’s still there. Leftover pizza and
soda from the snack we had after patrolling last night. I fix myself a plate,
pop it in the microwave. “Is it any good?”
“Yeah.”
There’s a beep saying my
food is heated. I grab the plate and the soda and head back to the couch.
Spike’s moved. He’s on the couch now. I smile and settle next to him. He
reaches over and grabs a slice. It’s okay because I added one for him. His feet
go up on the coffee table and one arm is stretched along the back of the couch.
I move to sit in the little nook he’s made for me. My legs are crossed and one
is settled over his thigh. It’s comfortable here.
We often sit like this,
watching some show or movie while we eat or just relax after patrolling.
Sometimes when it’s been a bad night Spike puts ice on the back of my neck.
Then later he’ll give me a massage. He’s good like that. Taking care of me no
matter what I need. He often knows what it is before I do and when I’m too
scared to ask for it. It’s in these times that I can stop pretending. Stop
pretending that I’m supposed to hate him, stop pretending that he wants more
than I can give him now. In this place we can just be what we are.
He reaches for the soda can
sitting in the space left from where my legs are crossed. His fingers brush
against my cunt and I shiver in anticipation. Yeah, it’s a given. We’ll have
sex before I go home. I hope today he’s in a gentle mood. Long and slow. Drive
me crazy kind of sex.
Right now, it’s nice to just
sit here, sharing food, relaxing, watching this movie. He knows me. I know him.
We’ll never really be friends and we’ll never be married but this in between
spot we’ve found is nice. We’re comrades, companions and lovers. It’s intimate
and ours. No one would understand. Everyone would tell me it’s wrong. But the
world doesn’t need to know because we understand even when it’s bad.
And maybe
one day…
~~~The End~~~
