New Year’s 2004
Everyone was celebrating but
her.
The champagne was flowing
even for the ones that were too young to drink because the rules didn’t matter.
Tonight it was New Year’s Eve. The worst year of her life was almost over and
she was supposed to be happy. She wasn’t
though. Once 2003 was gone it would mean she was one more step away from him. It
was stupid she knew but as long as it was the same year she could still say
“This year I was with him”.
Buffy sighed and made her
way to the window. Fireworks were glowing in the night sky outlining the
“I did…no, make that I do
love you, Spike,” Buffy whispered into the wind. “You knew it too, you liar.
You knew it because you knew me. More than anyone ever did. You’ll never know
how thankful I am to have had you in my life.”
Footsteps sounded behind her
just like she knew they would and she turned to see who was coming to end her attempt
at privacy.
“Buffy, are you all right?”
Giles asked, stepping onto the patio. “It’s quite chilly out here. Maybe you
should come inside.”
“I’m fine, Giles,” Buffy
lied. “Give me just another minute.”
The Watcher nodded and left
her alone again. They watched her constantly. The hovering was well intentioned
but it annoyed her. She was an adult. No longer the only Slayer and damn it
didn’t she deserve a little peace? Not to them. The expectations hadn’t
stopped. They had just changed. No one had been there like Spike had been.
Always trying to take care of her and she’d never seen. Not until it was too
late. Her hand rubbed absently against the hand that had held his
before…before, no, she wouldn’t think of that.
Spike was too full of life
to be dead and besides…
He was always going to be
alive inside of her heart.
“Happy New Year, Spike,”
Buffy said, raising her glass.
~~~~~~~
There was only place he
wanted to be and that was with Buffy. She loved him. He knew she’d take him in
but things weren’t right. Stupid prophecies and universal balance was keeping
him here with the ponce. Well, those and the fear
that maybe, just maybe she really had lied. He’d been told she was traveling
through
“Bloody hell,” he muttered and
leaned his forehead against the cool glass as his insecurities once again rose
to the surface.
“So, this is where you’re
hiding?” Fred asked from behind him. “We’re all going upstairs to Angel’s for
dinner. Would you like to come?”
“They don’t want me,” Spike
said, blinking back tears. He wasn’t going to let anyone see him cry. “I’m
nothing more than an annoyance to them.”
Her hand closed over his arm
sending an electrical charge through him. It had been so long since anyone had
touched him with kindness. The last had been Buffy when she’d tried to make him
go with her. Since then…since his return he’d felt William’s aloneness so
acutely.
“Please come,” Fred said. “I
want you there.”
“Thank you, pet,” Spike
said. “But I think I’ll stay here.”
“She’s going to call our
time to wish us Happy New Year.”
“Not going to do me any
good.”
Fred sighed and moved her
hand into his. She’d been a good friend to him and the only one that seemed to
see the changes in him. The only one besides Buffy who saw the goodness of the
man within him and believed in him despite all the reasons that told them not
to. So, when she tugged on his hand he followed. It was as he expected. They
said hello, well, except for Angel who only glared at him. And that made Spike
smile. It was one of the few bright spot in this existence that made it worthwhile.
Beating Angel. If only Buffy could have seen it then
he winced as he remembered the crudity of his words. He’d never ‘put it to her’
even…even…
Spike poured himself a drink
and forced himself to change the direction of his thoughts. To think of the
future that was waiting for him after this was dealt with. It was almost
“Happy New Year, Luv,” Spike whispered. “I promise I’m going to find a way
back to you.”
to be continued…
