Eachann was sitting on an old tree stump staring down the mountain at Moralynn. He knew more about portals than he had told Spike or Buffy but realized that they would have to discover the truth for themselves. This world had once been a powerful mystical realm full of good and dark magics. But as the overlords had taken more control the witches and warlocks had been hunted in an attempt to destroy their power. The witch that lived here was one of the last powerful one. Her mountain surrounded by a field of magic that would allow only those she wished to see in. The others were hopelessly lost in a forest filled with unimaginable horrors.

Spike approached Eachann and sat beside him. The witch had told him all that she knew and had given him the words of the incantation that would allow them to leave this world. But only the fates would know where they would go. The knowledge that Buffy would die of old age before they could get home weighed heavy on his heart. Buffy would be dead before they ever knew she was gone! Should he give her the words he held and cast them to the whims of fate? He looked down at the village below. He knew of demon dimensions and the horrors they held. To think of Buffy suffering in one made him want to scream at the heavens. It just wasn’t fair that this should happen to her. The decision was his. He held their fates in his hands.

“I have heard tales of people passing through the portals. Sometimes they return as old man on the verge of death when they have only been gone an hour. Sometimes they return to find their families already passed on. Or they return insane unable to function at all. And sometimes they never return.” Eachann told Spike. He knew that Spike was weighing the news he had been told. And it would tear his new friend up no matter which way he decided to go.

Spike looked at the man beside him with tears in his eyes.

“What do I do? She will want to start portal jumping because it’s what she should do. She should go home. It is her duty to protect them.” Spike was pleading. He didn’t want to make this decision. Because somewhere inside him was a selfish man. A man who knew that if they stayed here Buffy would be dependent on him. Without the others around she might let him into her heart. And he wanted to give in to it so badly.

All the words and all the roads lay before him. He knew that what he should do is go to her and tell her everything and let her decide her fate. And it would decide his fate because if she went through a portal he would be right behind her. But in a way he didn’t want to leave. He had a chance for a new start with people who didn’t think he was a monster. Who looked on him as a friend.

The confusion was causing a war between the man who was still there and the demon that had taken control. He put his head down into his hands and tried to control the thoughts that ran through his mind. Buffy would never forgive him if she found out that he had not told her everything. He stood and let out a scream. Damn it. Spike strode to his horse and mounted it to head home.

“Your not going to tell her everything, are you?” Eachann asked as he followed Spike.

Spike stared down at the village. The decision had been made. For selfish reason or to protect her it was done. Buffy would never know of the incantation to open the portal. They would stay here and build a life. She would be better off staying here than jumping from one world to another. He ignored the voice that said there was a chance for them to make it home. It would be all right. He would find a way to make her happy and to make her love him. There wasn’t anything or anyone standing in his way now.

~~~~~~~~~
When the two men approached the cottage Eachann realized his home was too quiet for late afternoon. His sons did not come running out to meet him and the shutters were drawn on the house. He opened the door quietly and took a look around. Buffy was sleeping curled up on hers and Spike’s makeshift bed. Hannah was in the kitchen starting to prepare the evening meal. She whispered that she had sent the boys to a friend’s house to play so Buffy would be undisturbed.

Spike remained standing inside the door. His expression was one of a man in agony and his eyes stayed on the sleeping slayer. Eachann reached out and patted his shoulder and told him that Hannah and him were going to leave. This would give Buffy and Spike an opportunity to talk alone. After they left Spike moved to kneel beside Buffy. Reaching out a hand he gently shook her shoulder and called her name.

“You did that this morning.” She rolled over to look at him and frowned when she saw the look in his eyes. “When are we going home, Spike?”

He couldn’t look at her. His eyes filled with tears that threatened to spill over. How could he tell her? But she knew something was wrong and sat up.

“Spike, when are we going home?” He was scaring her. Why was he doing this? They had to be going home. Didn’t they?

“Oh, God, Buffy, I’m sorry. All we can do is wait for Willow to open it again.”

“So, we need to be back in the forest, right? We need to get back there.” Buffy started to stand but Spike pulled her back down.

“She said that the portal would follow the energy of the person that went through it. And when Willow opens it, it will be near us since the demon is dead.” Spike was thinking fast. The lie just came, naturally and with ease. “And if we are separated then it will open near you because I was the last one through.”

“Well, how soon do we have to wait?”

“The portal’s energy needs to recharge before she can attempt it.” He hesitated because he didn’t want her to wait forever. For her to just hold onto a hope and never attempt to have a life here. He turned to look her in the eyes. “But time moves differently here, pet. It moves faster here. What is minutes at home could be years here.”

“Are you saying that I will never go home?” She asked him in disbelief.

“I don’t know. We can only hope that Willow hurries.”

Buffy seemed to crumple within herself but she didn’t cry. It was worse than she had ever though it could be. She laid back down curling into a fetal position and stared into the dying fire. How could this be? That she was stranded in this world. That she was stranded with Spike. The faces of Dawn and the others went through her mind. If what Spike said was true than with the exception of Willow they probably didn’t even know she was gone. They had just brought her back. And now she was gone again. She almost laughed at the thought of her being a human yo-yo. Being pulled from Earth to heaven to Earth to this place. If you thought about it, it was kind of funny.

She could feel Spike still beside her. He was probably waiting for her to fall apart so he could take care of her. She decided not to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry over this. She was stronger than that. But it was so hard. What would she do here? Where would she live? Would Spike leave her alone?

Spike reached a hand to touch Buffy. She was so still and quiet and it was frightening him to see her like this. He had expected for her to scream and demand to be taken to the witch herself. That she would punch him or blame him. Maybe even to cry but not this silence. When she didn’t shake his hand off he slowly rubbed her back. Like he had on that night on her porch so long ago. He sighed and laid down behind her. Pulling her to him so that she was spooning him he put his arm around her and held her close.

Buffy knew that she should push Spike away. But he wasn’t attempting anything or trying to act the big man like she expected. He was just holding her and it felt good. Like the world couldn’t get to her. Like she was safe as long as she was in his arms. And tomorrow when she woke this would be all a nightmare and she would be in her bed.

But tomorrow never comes.

Chapter 9 – Make Me Proud

Night had fallen on Moralynn. The only sounds were of the ocean crashing onto the shore and an occasional night bird singing to its mate. The residents of the village were tucked away in bed dreaming of a better tomorrow. Buffy was once again sleeping in Spike’s arms. After Eachann and Hannah had returned the four of them had talked. Eacahnn said to trust the fates and that everything would work out. He volunteered himself and Hannah to help them become adjusted to this place. And he reminded her that Saoirse would be there for her also. She was still unhappy about being here but she felt more secure.

At bedtime she had waited until Spike was already lying down before she joined him. She went into his arms and pulled the blanket around them. It wasn’t until she realized that he wasn’t going to be a jerk that she allowed herself to relax and drift toward sleep. When she had come to lie against him he had been surprised and touched at her gesture. He was getting his wish but at what price.

It was almost dawn when everything changed for them once again. A pounding on the door to the cottage woke them up and in the background they could hear the town bell ringing hysterically. Eachann hurried to the door and swung it open to find one of the fighters on the other side.

“We have to get everybody together. The demons are attacking on the far side of the village. They’re killing everybody and burning the fields.” The man panted the words out.

Eacahnn swore and ran back to his room to throw clothes on. Spike and Buffy were quickly dressing to join him. Buffy had run to the kitchen to have some privacy. She was glad that her jeans and shirt were clean again so she wouldn’t have to fight in a dress. After they were together they grabbed weapons and followed the men that were already on their way to the fight.

The battle raged until far into the day. The demons just seemed to keep coming and the men were fighting their fatigue. Every man but the old and the young joined in the fight. The women tried to keep the fires controlled. If the crops all burned then they would starve. Spike never left Buffy’s side and they fought together always anticipating the others move. And together they took out demon after demon.

By afternoon most of the demons were dead and the fires were flickering out. They stood together in the field and waited for Eachann to tell them what to do next. The people were exhausted and confused. They needed direction. Buffy had seen dead before but not like this. Men, women and children laid out next to each other. Entire families wiped out and she swore that she would help these humans fight back against the demon hordes. It seemed her destiny even had purpose here.

Eacahnn called to them and said the time had come to fight. That it was time for war. His people cheered him. He told them to go home, to rest and clean up. That tomorrow morning they would start planning strategies.

Slowly people started to return to their homes except for those who would patrol the borders until morning. The dead would also be attended to during the night. Those that had lost their homes were invited to stay at the homes of relatives and friends.

When morning came Eachann woke Spike and brought him with him to the meeting at the common room in town. Slowly, other men came in grim faced and ready to fight. The talks began of who would command and who would fight with them. Then Saoirse and Buffy walked into the room. Every voice fell silent and every eye watched them as they approached Eachann.

“We are here to sign up.” Saoirse said loudly so that everyone could hear her.

“Saoirse, I know you have been with us in the past on smaller battles but this…this is large scale. It would be better if you and Buffy stayed out of this.” Eachann tried to explain to them.

“This is my fight, too. We are both trained for this and can handle it.” Saoirse was not giving up.

From the back came the voice of the man who had tried to kill Spike. He didn’t like these newcomers and he thought that women had only one place.

“If they think they are so ready for this let the little blond fight me. If she can beat me I’ll let ‘em in.” He swaggered to the front of the room confident that he would win. He would give the concession that Buffy could fight but he was twice as big as her and strong as an axe. Just a few seconds of fighting him and she would be running to hide.

Buffy walked up the arrogant hulk. She tilted her head back and put her hands on her hips. She looked him in the eye and asked. “You think you can fight me and win?”

“Yeah, and why don’t we put a side wager on this. If I win, you warm my bed and if you win, I will let you be my commanding officer.” He leered down at Buffy. The guy obviously thought he was something else on the battlefield and in bed.

“Okay.”

Saoirse tried to stop her but Buffy smiled at her and told her it was okay. The men opened a space for the two of them to fight. Spike moved so that he was closer to Buffy. She gave him a quick glance before moving into the circle. He smiled at her and gave her the thumbs up. He couldn’t wait for her to kick this guy’s ass.

When the two of them were facing off going around in a circle trying to find an opening move, the man made his first mistake by looking away from Buffy. From there on he was on the losing end. Buffy quickly brought him down with her boot on his chin. Everyone in the room knew that all she had to do was make one move and she would snap his neck.

“As your commanding officer I think the first thing you should do is learn how to respect women.” She looked down at him then stepped away.

He stood and faced her. “Yes, of course.”

Spike started to laugh at the sight of this huge man taken down by Buffy. Then he started to clap for her and the men slowly started to join in until they were all cheering her. She walked off the floor feeling a little embarrassed at the adulation but it felt good. When she reached Spike he bent down to whisper in her ear.

“I’m proud of you, baby.”

Which caused Buffy to blush.

Chapter 10 – Preparation

For the next year and a half Moralynn fought for its very survival. The overlords wanted to win this land and sent nothing but the fiercest demons to fight its war. As time went by leadership fell to four people with courage and hearts that were true. Eachann, Saoirse, Buffy and Spike. Legends grew of the four friends who were leading a great army. Men and women from all over Moralynn came to this village to serve under them.

Under Eachann’s tutelage Spike matured. He learned how not to be so impulsive. Spike observed his friend in battle and at home and strived to imitate him. For the first time in his life and undead life he felt accepted. He no longer needed to put on posturing airs to fit in with those around him. The goodness of William became stronger than the demon. He could see the approval in the eyes of those around him and the ones who served under him.

Saoirse invited Buffy to share her cottage and Buffy accepted. Thus sealing a friendship that grew stronger with time. Saoirse taught Buffy to ride a horse and to understand the ways of this world. Buffy taught Saoirse how to make her body stronger and better swordsmanship. They often started the day out by sparring with each other.

Then it was time to go into battle. The duties of leading were divided by strengths. They set up training of their fighters. The one thing that Spike was adamant about was that in battle he and Buffy would be together. She never said a word to go against his request. It was just understood by all that where one was the other one would be also.

Because they would be leading and fighting together Eachann brought Buffy and Spike together one morning and told them to become attuned to one another. They stood face to face and did everything but look at each other. Eachann barked at them to look into each other’s eyes until they could feel the connection. Then once they felt it to mirror each other’s movements. They sighed and did as Eachann told them too. It made sense if they were going into battle together that they needed to understand each other.

So they stood in the middle of a field staring into the other’s eyes. Spike had always told Buffy that he loved her. She had always told him that it was disgusting but now staring into his eyes it felt different. A warm feeling stole over her as she saw his heart laid wide open in his eyes.

He stood looking down into the depths of her green eyes and saw the hesitation reflected there. But he also saw the gratitude she felt for his loyalty. The friendship that they were building together and the trust she felt with him.

They knew the moment that they were aligned and wondered if anyone else had heard the click that happened between them. Without breaking contact with her eyes he raised his hand and her hand followed in a perfect mirror movement. They went through several moves each following the others. With silent agreement they closed their eyes and went through several more moves. Two halves of the same whole had blended together. Eachann could see it plainly but they were not yet ready to admit it. He chuckled as he watched them. Together they would be an unbeatable team. Tilting his head toward the heavens he silently gave thanks for the two that would help to keep his world safe.

The next day they rode out each with their own battalion. Eacahnn rode north with his, Saiorse rode east and Buffy and Spike rode west. The demons were repeatedly taken out but somehow there just seemed to be more of them. Over the next year and a half they fought battle after battle. But with careful planning the final battle was about to be fought. The demons were surrounded and being backed against the cliffs of Taramin. It was where the land just seemed to stop and open into a gapping hole to the end of the world. The three armies would surround them and try to drive them over the cliffs. If they succeeded than they would be free of fear.

Chapter 11 – Release

This last campaign had lasted for almost two months and tension was riding high. The fighters were anxious for this to be over so that could return home before winter set in.

Buffy had somehow adapted to this way of life. The constant riding and fighting not having the luxuries that she took for granted at home. But yet it was beginning to eat away at her. There was no time to stop and release her emotions and physical tensions. The night before the final battle she had become playful. She was constantly making wisecracks to Spike. Almost like she was spoiling for a fight. Spike tried to ignore her as much as he could but she seemed to constantly being dancing around his feet. Like she had had too much caffeine. Finally, everyone started to settle down for the night. Spike and Buffy had taken to separate bedrolls now but they still slept next to each other. He lay on his back and was going through strategies for the next day when she rolled onto her side and looked at him.

“I would kill for a slice of pizza right now.” She whispered to him.

He looked over at her in puzzlement. How could she be doing this when tomorrow was so important?

“Get some rest, Buffy”

“I miss ice cream and lattes and dancing at the Bronze. What do you miss, Spike?” She had this big grin on her face. Almost like they were anywhere but here.

“Peace and quiet of my own place.” He really hoped she would take the hint. But she didn’t.

“I miss Victoria’s Secret underwear. The stuff here just isn’t the same.” She told him almost purring the words.
.
He realized that Buffy was doing anything she could to get his attention. He just hadn’t been cooperating so she was starting to become flirtatious.

“So, why don’t you let me the judge of that?” He rolled over toward her and reached out his hand for her. She giggled as his hand started to roam her body heading for the stays on her pants.

“You can’t.”

“Why not?” His hand started to loosen the bow but her next words stopped him cold.

“I’m not wearing any.”

He looked up into her eyes trying to read exactly what she was doing. But he didn’t see passion in their depths he saw tension, fear and the beginnings of desperation. Her body was wound tight from months of fighting, from constantly being on alert waiting for something to happen. Now, on the eve of their biggest fight she was about ready to explode. She probably didn’t even realize what was going on. Her body was going on instinct needing a release from its tension. The scent of her arousal was heavy in the air around them. Shifting his hand from her stomach to her hip, he let his hand wander over her bottom down to her thigh. Gripping her around her thigh he pulled her on top on him until she was straddling his erection.

She started as she felt the length of him against her. Instinctively her hips moved over his erection. She shivered from the feelings coursing through her body. Her head was down against chest and he wrapped his hand against the back of her neck. His other hand went to separate their bodies. Reaching between them he finished undoing the stays of her pants then slid his hand down into her waiting heat. She was already swollen with need. His fingers slid through her wetness to find her aching center. She arched against him, whimpering in her need.

“Shh, baby.” He whispered against her hair. They didn’t need the other men waking up and finding them like this. He wanted so badly to roll her onto her back and take her. To pound into her warmth unmercifully until their both their needs were sated. But he couldn’t and wouldn’t do that to her. Not with their troops sleeping only a few feet away. So, he continued to caress her and love her until she found her release. As the release came she bit down on his shirt to keep from crying out. Then she just seemed to melt into him as the tension floated away from her and she was left in this euphoric fog of peace. When it was over he reached down and pulled the blanket up over them. He shifted her until she was curled against him. It didn’t take long for her to drift off but he lay there for a while and watched her sleep. He never knew it was possible to love someone this much. It filled him to the very corners of his being and left no room for doubt. He kissed her cheek softly and let much needed sleep claim him.

Chapter 12 - Victory

The next morning as Spike came awake he realized Buffy wasn’t beside him. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes he sat up and looked around. He spotted her a few feet away talking to one of the other fighters. Standing he started to gather his bedding to prepare for travel. Already on the ground next to his was Buffy’s gear. It seemed she was ready to go. When she noticed that he was up she came to stand beside him. She stood there for a few moments without saying anything.

“Thank you.” She told him in a low voice so no one else would hear. Then she turned and picked up her gear and headed toward her horse. A smile stole across his face and he shook his head. The woman constantly amazed him even after all this time. He had been expecting anything but that.

A lone rider came into their camp and told Spike that the other troops were aligned and it was time go. Everyone began to prepare to go. There was a feeling of anticipation that filtered through the troops. Months of preparation had gone into cornering the demons against the cliffs and if everything went the way they planned victory would be theirs today. Spike rode slowly through them talking to them and giving boosts of encouragement where needed. Buffy watched his movements and thought again this couldn’t be the same vampire that she had known before. Before his every plan fell apart but here he was almost invincible. His charismatic personality made him a natural leader. He brought his horse to stop beside hers. She looked at him and into his eyes. He looked back.

“You ready?” He asked her but he already saw the answer in her eyes. It was time. He turned back to the troops and hollered out to them. “Let’s go, people. Let’s kick some demon ass!”

His people responded with cheers and they were off. It wasn’t long before they found the enemy and the fighting began. The day passed quickly as they kept pressing them back toward their fate. It was almost like the sensed the end and began to fight almost half-heartedly. Then the three troops met up and joined together. The demons were surrounded and they knew there was no way out. By nightfall it was over. They had either met their doom by falling from the precipice or had died at the hand of the fighters.

The troops shouted out their victory to the heavens. There was hugging and back slapping. Eacahnn quieted everyone down and told them that he was proud of them. That they should be proud of themselves for the victory they had achieved. He said that tomorrow it was time to head for home and rebuild their lives.

When Eachann had finished his speech, Buffy and Saoirse went off by themselves. With a whole month of not seeing each other they had a lot to talk about. They shared their travels and battles. Buffy told her everything but last night. It was too private to talk about right now.

Spike stayed near Eachann but he kept stealing glances at Buffy. She never noticed. After last night and her response this morning he had hoped that this was beginning for them. That they would finally turn from friendship to romance. Now that the war was over they could start building something together. But she didn’t even sleep near him that night. By morning her rejection had consumed him and anger had taken over his senses.

Eachann called the four of them together and talked to them of the overlords. He hadn’t mentioned them last night because he didn’t want to dampen anyone’s spirit. When they reached home they would need to devise something to take them out. If they didn’t then Moralynn would never be truly free.

Buffy had come to sit beside Spike but he had pulled away from her. When Eacahnn had dismissed them to prepare to head for home she followed him to his horse.
“Spike, is something wrong?” She was feeling confused. When she had last spoken to him they had been fine.

“No, why should there be?” He started to swing onto his horse then stopped himself. He swung around to face her. “Yes, as a matter of fact there is something wrong. Summers, you are a selfish bitch.”

“Excuse me.” Buffy was really getting confounded by his anger; she had no clue what she had done to upset him.

“You always come to me when you need something. Like the other night when you come crawling to me expecting me to make it all better. Like you always do. But as soon as you get what you want you just ignore me.” The tears were threatening to fall. The hurt was warring with the anger to take precedence in his heart. “I thought it was different now. That we were at least friends but I guess that is too much for you. Do you every think about what I need?” He had to get away from her. After he mounted his horse he turned from her leaving her standing there looking after him.

The fighters stared at her as she turned and made her way back to her own horse. She ignored the looks and the whispers as she rode up next to Saoirse. During the trip back to the village she found herself following Spike. It wasn’t really like she meant to ignore him last night. She had just wanted some girl time with Saoirse. In the last year Spike hadn’t told her once that he still loved her. They had been partners and almost joined together at the hip. A deep trust had to be developed between the two in order to survive what they had gone through. At times it had even seemed like a marriage with the two of them working together to keep the troops together. But somewhere along the line she thought he had stopped loving her.

Buffy knew that what she had done the other night wasn’t fair. She guessed Faith was right about fighting and feeling horny after a good kill. It had been eating her up inside. She hadn’t even recognized what her body had been telling her. She had only known that she needed Spike. So, she had pushed him and pushed him until he gave her what she wanted. But she hadn’t thought of him after the act was over. His need had been quite evident but she had just gone to sleep against him.

Then last night she had ignored him. Dismissing him when it wasn’t convenient for her. How could she even say she was his friend? Friends didn’t treat each other like that. Well, she decided to make things up to him. How she didn’t know yet but it would come to her. Along with a big apology.

Chapter 13 – Waiting for You

It was early evening in Moralynn. The suns were setting over the ocean and a cool breeze drifted through the valley. Saoirse and Buffy were walking to Eachann’s for a meeting about the overlords. They had been out in the field for so long that it felt good to be clean again. There was no fear of a battle tonight so they had both worn dresses and their hair loose. It was an attempt to feel like women again instead of soldiers. As they walked they found they still had things to talk about and giggle over. It felt good to be home. Last night after they had cleaned up they had gone on an eating binge. Most of the food that Hannah had brought to them was gone.

They both got more serious as they approached Eachann’s cottage. The two men were already at the table discussing matters. Saoirse and Buffy quickly went to join them. Eachann took a few minutes to catch them up on what they had decided. Spike and Saoirse would take a few men and make the journey to destroy the overlords and their power. This was mostly Eachann’s decision. He knew that Buffy and Spike both had special gifts and felt that keeping one there was safer for the village. Spike had agreed and suggested that Saoirse be the one to go with him. She was a capable fighter and he felt comfortable with her. Besides he needed a break from Buffy. To see if after being away from her for a long period of time his feelings would diminish. And he also wanted to see if her feelings for him would possibly change while he was away.

When Buffy heard the plan she panicked at the thought of Spike being away from her that long. She was just coming to terms with her feelings for him and now he would be gone. But they wouldn’t listen to her protests. Spike wouldn’t even look at her and she felt like she had been just been cast adrift. He was what held her together anymore. The only one she could always depend on to be there for her. How would she manage without him?

A hand was waved in front of her face. Eachann was trying to get her attention.

“Buffy, I need you focused”

“I’m sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind. What did you need?” She apologized to her friend.

“I need you to stop acting like a schoolgirl with a crush and pay attention.” Eachann turned back to his plans and Buffy mortified tried to pay attention but it wasn’t working. They weren’t listening to her anyway. Finally she stood up and told them that she was going to patrol. And without waiting for a reply she left.

The three watched her go.

“You shouldn’t have been so harsh on her, Eachann. She’s been giving all she has. I don’t know. Something has happened and she won’t talk about it.” Saoirse told him.

Spike looked up in surprise at her words. But he didn’t ask her to explain. He just figured that Buffy was feeling disgusted that she had let him touch her and would probably be happier with him gone.

Buffy spent the night riding through the forest that surrounded the village. Here she was able to focus. There was no Spike to distract her. A few times she thought she had heard something and there was nothing there. Mostly it was her thoughts she had to fight. She knew that she was attracted to Spike otherwise she would never have gone to him for release. Looking back she couldn’t pinpoint the moment that she had started to feel this way. Sometimes it seemed like from the beginning there was something between them. But it was wrong, wasn’t it? He didn’t have a soul. He wasn’t human but a vampire. A creature that lived for the kill except Spike hadn’t killed in years. He had become a great leader in this world.

Was it love? It wasn’t anything like what she had felt for Angel. That had been an overwhelming need to be with him. She knew that she had never really loved Riley. Their relationship had been built on her desire to have a nice boyfriend and live a normal life. The feelings she had for Spike were different. They crept up on her and seeped into her heart. She wasn’t sure if she would call it love yet but it was something that she wanted to explore. But he would soon be going away again.

As dawn broke over the mountains Buffy turned toward home. Saoirse was packing a bag as she came into the cottage.

“Are you all leaving this morning?”

“Yes, the sooner we leave the sooner it is over with.” Saoirse told her as she continued to pack her bag. Last night after Buffy had left and the plans had been settled, Spike had broken down and told his friends everything. From the beginning outside the Bronze to the night in the forest. He had needed to know what to do. It was something beyond his scope of experience. How to deal with this? How to try to woo someone? Saoirse wasn’t angry at Buffy but she wasn’t happy with her either. Why couldn’t she see the love that this man held for her?

“Are you angry with me too? Do you want to join in and tell me off like the others?” Buffy could sense the feeling coming from her friend. It seemed like in the past few days she had managed to make everyone angry.

Saoirse closed her bag and turned to Buffy. Both of her friends were hurting and only Buffy could ease it for either one.

“No, Buffy, I am not angry with you. I feel sorry for you. How are you going to feel if he doesn’t come back? Are you going to be able to live with yourself?” Saoirse grabbed her bag and walked out the door with Buffy at her heels. Neither said a word as they rode to Eacahnn’s cottage where the small squad would leave from. The men were already gathered together. Spike and Eachann were deep in conversation. Saoirse approached them and they included her in their talk. Buffy stayed away. She didn’t feel they would want her to be there in their way.

After a few minutes they broke it off and Saoirse approached her.

“Take care of yourself, Buffy.”

“Saiorse, be careful, okay? I’m going to miss you.”

The two friends hugged each other. Then Saoirse turned from her to say good-by to Eachann and Hannah. Spike started for his horse ignoring Buffy. He wasn’t going to beg her for any crumbs. But as he was lifting his foot toward the stirrup he felt a hand on his arm. He turned in surprise to find Buffy there. He waited as she gazed at him. Her hand came up to caress his cheek and to run a thumb over his lips. There were knots in her stomach but she couldn’t let him leave her without trying.

Her gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips and she took a step toward him. The others waited and watched as this played out. She was nervous and wished she didn’t have an audience. She just hoped he wouldn’t push her away. She didn’t think she could handle another public humiliation. Raising herself on her toes to reach him better she pressed her lips against his. They were as cool as she remembered. Her lips explored his rubbing against them gently. He didn’t return the kiss but he didn’t push her away either. She sucked his bottom lip into her mouth and nipped at it with her teeth. Her arms went around him and pulled him closer to her. Her tongue ran over his lips separating them so she could have access to his mouth. He groaned as her tongue pushed its way into his mouth. An overwhelming feeling came over him and he couldn’t fight this anymore.

One arm went around her to hold her in place and his free hand entwined in her hair. Tugging her head back so that he could return the assault. His tongue wound around hers and then chased it back into her mouth. Where the two battled as to who could give the greater pleasure. They became lost in the sensual haze they were creating. Then Eachann loudly cleared his throat.

“Sorry, kids, it’s time to hit the road.” Eachann told them grinning.

Spike pulled away from Buffy reluctantly. She leaned her head against his chest for a moment so her heart could slow down. As he went to take a step to move away from her she held him there for a moment longer.

“I’ll be waiting for you.” It was as honest as she could be right now. Her feelings only confused more by the kiss.

He could see the emotions on her face and knew that she would be. As they rode away Spike didn’t look back but as they approached the edge of the forest he hesitated.

“Don’t! If you do you will never leave.” Saoirse advised him.

“Ha.”

Spike nudged his horse on the side making the animal start to gallop. He headed into the forest without looking back. His companions followed him. He never saw Buffy’s tear stained face as she watched another man leave her.

Chapter 14 – Time Alone

Buffy was alone. For the first time since she was seventeen and had run away she was on her own. She spent her days the way she wanted to. Often that was spending afternoons at Eachann and Hannah’s cottage. Hannah was trying to teach her to cook. It wasn’t going too bad. She would never be great but she could put a simple meal together. Then she told Hannah about pizza and they decided to try to make it. The first few attempts were not going to win any prizes. But they soon figured it out and were sharing it with everyone they could. The next experimentation involved trying to make spicy wings. Buffy knew Spike loved them and wanted to surprise him when he returned.

She filled the rest of her days with reading, walking on the beach or riding. She had come to love the feel of the wind in her hair as the horse ran through the fields. Her nights were filled with patrolling. But she felt adrift. Her mind and body were out of kilter. Her mind never stopped. Constant thoughts of home and Spike filled it. Her body never relaxed and she couldn’t seem to wear it out enough to really sleep.

Buffy had been thinking of giving Spike a present when he returned. Something special to show how much she cared. She kept wandering down to watch the blacksmith in the market. She knew that Spike would love to have something made for him. But she would end up turning away and leaving. After her third visit the blacksmith motioned to her to come into his workshop.

“I’m Ian. What can I do for you?” Ian was curious as to why the girl had kept coming by and leaving before saying anything.

“I’m Buffy. I’m sorry but I was thinking of giving a sword to a friend of mine. I haven’t decided for sure.” She tried to explain her strange behavior to him.

“Is it for Spike then?” Ian had suspected this was Buffy but wasn’t sure. He had only seen her from a distance. So if this was Buffy then her friend would have to be Spike. Everyone knew of them.

She smiled and nodded at him.

“Well, come here.” He walked toward the back where the furnaces were. Reaching onto a shelf he pulled down a piece of metal and handed it to Buffy.

“Umm, what exactly am I supposed to do with this?”

“Make a sword.”

“Oh.”

Ian started to explain about heating the metal to the right temperature in the furnace. He showed her how to use the bellows to create the wind that would feed the fire. When the metal was heated to the right temperature he pulled it from the furnace and demonstrated how to hammer the metal down to the shape of a sword. Handing her the hammer he let her began to do the work. Ian explained that it would take several pieces forged together to create the blade.

Over the next week Buffy would show up at the shop to work on the sword. Ian took her step-by-step through the process. He led her from the initial forging to the groove down the midsection for strength to grinding away of the hammer marks.

She was custom making the handle to fit Spike’s hand. Ian had laughed when she had used her belly to figure out the size of his hand. Spike often came to stand behind her sliding his hand over her stomach. His touch would leave her skin tingling and she hadn’t forgotten where his hand had started and ended.

Then the sword was ready for the final sharpening. She heated it until the metal was red then she quickly plunged into water. After this was completed Ian explained there was one final step. He showed her how to temper the sword by carefully reheating it one last time to reduce the internal stress.

Buffy hadn’t thought that she would enjoy doing this but found she did. The work was both physical and mental. When she left here she was ready for sleep. At the start of each day she was eager to return to work.

As a final step she had engraved their initials entwined together on the ricasso of the sword. Ian had told her that on this unsharpened part of the blade was where a maker of a sword would leave his mark. When it was done she lovingly ran her hand over the sword that she had crafted with Ian’s help. Then it was time to take it home.

Strangely enough she didn’t want to leave this small shop and Ian’s company. He had become another good friend. She sighed and went to tell Ian goodbye. Before she could say anything Hans came through the door. Hans was the man who had given and her Spike trouble in the beginning. But after fighting with them they had learned to become friends. Once you got to know him Hans wasn’t really a bad guy. He had always been a bully because people expected someone of his size to be a bully.

“Hello, Buffy.”

“Hi, Hans, what are you doing here?” Buffy smiled up at the big man.

“Need a new sword. I was hoping Ian would have time to make me one.”

Ian stood and shook Han’s hand. “Well, I have actually turned my sword making business over to Buffy here.” He remained unperturbed as the two stared at him with surprise. “Buffy, show him your work.”

Buffy handed the sword to Hans who carefully looked it over. He ran his hands over the blade and tested it’s sharpness. Gripping the sword he made several swings through the air. Then he turned to her and asked if she would make him a sword. She reached for Spike’s sword and after a moment of thinking it over agreed to do it.

After he found out that she had made the handle specifically for Spike. Hans asked her if she would do the same for him. Most of the swords he used were uncomfortable in his large hands. They discussed what his other requirements were then Ian helped her negotiate a price. A price that would give her currency to live on but would also pay for materials and a percentage to Ian for the use of his equipment. A handshake sealed the deal and Buffy had a new purpose. She laughed when she realized she was a sword maker. Spike would flip when he found out.

When she arrived home she carefully wrapped the sword in cloth and left in on the table. This way she could look at it and think of Spike. The way his eyes would light up when he saw it and the smile that would cross his face. The look of pride he would give her when he realized that she had made it.

In her time alone Buffy learned to feel pride in being someone other than the Slayer. And without Spike she learned that she could be alone and be okay. But it didn’t really stop the loneliness that still gnawed at her. Most nights she would lie awake and fantasize of the day he would return. She would run it through her mind a thousand times perfecting each move and nuance until it was just the way she wanted it. Now if he would only come home soon.