Chapter 8
It was still early enough that Lookout Point was almost
deserted. Spike drove to the end, by the cliff, their usual spot and
parked where the grassy knoll ended into the woods. Not too many other
cars ever parked this deep into the area. There were a
lot of rumors about creepy things going on in the woods. Enough to keep others away, but not them. As Xander said, he'd already met the worst
monster so whatever was in those woods didn't scare him.
Spike killed the engine.
"The usual?" Buffy asked, with a smile.
She didn't wait for an answer.
She was already reaching for the small wooden box Spike kept under the
front seat. He smiled. After the last few days of dealing with
Xander and his feelings, Spike needed something to calm him. Bad habit, he knew from experience of
watching Mr. Harris medicate himself to the point of brutality to the ones
around him, but this vice never brought out the worst in him. Or to his
companions.
Maybe it was justification? Or blinding himself
to the truth? After all, he'd read all
the pamphlets from Al-Anon and Alateen warnings of the higher rate of children
of alcoholics becoming an addict themselves.
Not that he had that problem, but Xander might. They all watched over him, but as of yet Xander
never instigated it, but he never said no either.
"Party time," Buffy said, climbing out of the car.
She hopped onto the hood of the Desoto where
"Come on, Xander," Spike called. "It's time to light up, mate."
Their friend hesitated. His
face squished up as if he was deciding to wait it out in the car. Finally, though he crawled from his corner in
the backseat. It hurt to see how much
pain Xander was experiencing, some of it due to his idiocy of spending the
night with Harmony. Spike couldn't undo the choices he'd already made. He also couldn't change how much Xander's
rejection stung that propelled him to seek out an easy fuck to soothe his
ego.
Spike sighed and reached for the joint Buffy was holding out. After lighting it and taking a good hit for himself he passed it along to
Xander still hadn't really joined them. He was leaning against the car with his arms
crossed around his middle, but once again, he didn't reject their drug of
choice.
"Are you going to stay mad at me?" Spike said.
"Why shouldn't I?"
Xander muttered, turning away to lean his butt on the car. "Why her?"
"Yeah," Buffy said.
"I thought you were gay now?"
"Am I?" Spike
replied. "Until Xander kissed me,
it never crossed my mind to be with a guy.
Girls have always been my thing."
"You've never looked at a guy before?"
Spike sighed as he searched his memory. Had he, without knowing, checked out other
men? It was true that he compared
himself to the latest guys the girls thought was
hot. He even liked watching Queer as Folk with them. Brian Kinney was cool. He had it all, cool job, great digs, good
looks and a beautiful boyfriend, but Spike had never fantasized about being
Brian. He couldn't remember fantasizing
about a man period, not even when he was masturbating.
quot;Only Xander," Spike confessed. He held a hand up. "But I have never gotten off when
thinking about Xander."
"Thanks," Xander muttered. "Makes me feel really
good."
"Never occurred to me that you liked me," Spike said,
leaning back against the windshield so that he could look up at the stars. "Sometimes I get the feel goods when
you're around, but it was always forbidden, so I just pushed it away."
"Makes sense to me," Buffy said. She took another hit and passed it back to
Spike. "Xander will you grab the
food? I'm starving."
"Sure," Xander said, reaching into the car to get the bags.
"I told you to eat dinner,"
"It would ruin the line of my clothes," Buffy said,
grabbing French fries from the bag and stuffing a handful into her mouth. "I wanted to look perfect."
"If he could only see you now," Spike said, with a
chuckle. "Buffy
at her sexiest…talking with her mouth full."
"Shut up," Buffy said, reaching over to swat him. "He will never see me like this."
"Not much of a relationship,"
"I agree," Spike said.
"You're beautiful, pet. Just
be yourself."
"He didn't seem interested anyway," Buffy said, sinking
into herself. She picked at the hem of
her skirt. "I'm prettier than
Cordelia, aren't I?"
"Hey, maybe he's a fag, too," Spike said, hoping to
distract another one of their group from sinking into the doldrums. "He is kind of hot in a
Buffy was giggling with her hand over her mouth over his antics,
while
"Knew you would be a top," Buffy said, snapping her
fingers. She looked at Xander. "And I guess that makes you the
bottom."
"Yeah, I guess in Spike's opinion I'm a
"Never thought of you as being like that," Spike said,
wishing he had kept his mouth shut. Even
when he was trying to be funny, it seemed he hurt his friend. He hated this awkwardness existing between them
since they kissed. Before they always
cut up, making jokes about sex, and everything else around them. Never did every word, thought, and gesture
have an underlying meaning meant to tear the other apart. Sitting up, he reached for his cigarettes. "You're not some pansy. We're mates.
Always getting into some sort of trouble, 'member?"
"Forget it," Xander said, walking toward the edge of the
cliff.
Spike held his breath, afraid of something he couldn't even form
into a thought, and then breathed a sigh of relief when Xander plopped down to
lie on his back.
"Damn, he's
beautiful," Spike thought, gazing at his friend lying in the
moonlight. For the first time he noticed
that Xander was wearing new clothes, clothes that
emphasized his looks instead of doing their duty by merely covering his
body. Spike glanced at Buffy. It couldn't be, could it? Had Xander worn new duds just to impress him? Xander didn't want to draw attention so he never
cared about what he was wearing. He ran
a hand over his face. It seemed he had
ruined Xander's big plan of getting Spike to pay attention. No matter what he did, he was hurting
Xander.
The girls were silent as they finished off their burgers and fries
while his was sitting untouched on the hood.
He didn't feel like eating, and the cigarette in his hand was burning
without him smoking it. It was time to
do something. Sitting up, he slid off
the car, trying to be casual as he took a step toward Xander. He had no clue what he was going to do that
wouldn't make things worse. A part of
him even wondered why he cared. No girl
had ever tied him up in such knots. He
was the tough guy.
Love them and leave them may have been an old cliché but it was a motto
he lived by until his heart thumped in time to Xander's beat.
It was more than just the new emotions of affection for Xander
leaving him so soft. It was also the
years of friendship between them. Xander
knew more about Spike than anyone else did, as he did about Xander. Spike knew what made Xander hurt, laugh, get
pissed off and the dreams of a promised "one day" that kept Xander
going forward every morning. He felt
protective of Xander's heart and his own, making every step a potential
minefield that would blow up in both their faces. He already felt like he had set off enough
without making another misstep. The hard
drunk of the night before had done nothing to relieve his emotions. Adrenaline was rushing through his body with
no relief in sight.
A distant sound broke through the night making them all look
up. Another car was heading for their
spot, but it pulled off the road just on the other side of the trees. The engine cut off just as something clicked
in his head. Spike looked toward Buffy
and knew she had already figured it out.
The car belonged to Angel. He had
a classic car too, with a distinct engine sound from the modern cars. The boy Buffy's heart was set on was out
parking with another chick.
"Should have just eaten everything in the refrigerator,"
Buffy mumbled. "I can't even get
him to notice me. Maybe
being as big as a cow would at least get him to look at me."
"He's an idiot,"
But Spike could see that Angel did get to Buffy. Big time. Her beautiful eyes were filling with tears
and he could almost hear her heart breaking.
He didn't understand why the big poof got her in such a tangle, but if
Angel was what she wanted then he had better pay attention. The least he could do was to let her down
easy if he wasn't going to return her affections.
An idea came to him. He
grinned as he reached a hand down to Xander.
"Come on, mate. Let's
play."
"Okay," Xander said, returning his smile.
He allowed Spike to pull him up, but they didn't hesitate as Spike
took off at a run. This was
freedom. This was a return to them as
they darted through the field toward where Angel parked. They were skidding to a halt at the edge of
the trees when Spike realized he was still holding Xander's hand. It felt as right as the moment. He squeezed it tight before dropping it.
"Got a plan?"
Xander asked.
They crouched down to get a lay of the land. Yeah, it was Angel parked in his classic
convertible with Cordelia in the front seat.
Despite the top being up, they could see that Angel hadn't wasted any
time because he was already in a lip lock with Cordelia, which meant they
wouldn't notice much but each other.
"Yeah," Spike said, ruffling Xander's hair. The affection was an added bonus to the
camaraderie they shared when they were about to cause trouble. "You do know about those legends of what
happens to lovers parking in the woods right after a local prison break." He crackled, holding up one hand. "After a one-handed
murderer has been set loose on the innocent township."
"Oh yeah," Xander said, grinning. He reached into his pocket to pull out his
pocketknife. "It's small but should
do the trick as the hook."
It only took a moment for them to put the plan in motion. Spike dropped to his stomach as he crawled to
the rear of the car. Once he felt that he was safe from view he scrapped the ground with the
toe of his boot. There was no reaction
from the two in the car. He signaled
Xander who threw a rock against one of the trees. It did the trick.
"What was that?"
Spike could hear Cordelia ask through the cracked window.
"Probably a raccoon or something," Angel said. "Come back here."
There was a return to silence.
Spike grabbed some leaves, crackling them as loudly as he could, and
then he broke a twig in the air right behind the car. It got their attention again. Cordelia was insisting that Angel do
something. Angel wasn't going to do
it. He was more concerned about the
state of his dick then he was about them being killed
because he convinced Cordelia that everything was fine.
Xander crawled over to Spike.
It was hard to keep a straight face as his friend held up the knife as
the piece de résistance.
"Go for it," Spike whispered, flipping back onto his
stomach so he could watch.
Using his elbows to propel him forward, Xander made his way along
the side of the car. Spike sent him a
thumb up. He couldn't wait for this
because it was going to be good.
Grinning, he watched Xander scrap the blade along the side of the car
and then against the inside of the car handle.
Cordelia screamed bloody murder while Angel started cussing. It was time to go. Spike took off running with Xander right
behind him. In front of them, he could
see the girls hightailing it back, too. It seemed they couldn't resist watching the
action.
"You assholes," Angel screamed after them. "I'm going to beat the shit out of you
for this."
Spike was laughing as he stopped with a slam against his car. It was priceless. The girls were laughing too. Xander slid to a stop in front of him, but
Spike couldn't help it. He pulled his
friend into his arms. They were back. The four friends were together in this
moment. The giggling continued as they
heard Angel's car rev up as it hit the road back to town. They were triumphant and for the moment all was right with the world.
to be continued…
