Chapter
11 – The Aftermath
Her mind still echoed with the sound of her father’s laughter. Hank thought her impulsive marriage was another sign of the irresponsibility that gave her so much trouble when she was in high school. His advice upon hearing her dilemma was to stay in the marriage no matter how bad it got because it was probably the best deal she was going to get. He further added that if Spike left her, then she should sue for everything she could.
It wasn’t what she wanted. She needed affirmation that she had a back up plan if her marriage fell apart. Something to tell her she wasn’t as alone as she felt. After all shouldn’t a girl’s father run to her rescue? Be the kind of man that no boyfriend could ever live up to? Not Hank Summers. He didn’t have time or desire to be there for her. She’d been a fool to ever think he would. She didn’t understand it though. Why did he hate her so much? What had she done to make him turn his back on his eldest daughter?
It only added more confusion and pain to what Spike had done to her. Buffy buried her face in her pillow to muffle the sounds of her sobs. How could she have really thought that fairy tales were true? That Spike was going to make everything in her life better? The fact that she was truly alone was now firmly cemented by her father’s reaction.
The only exception was the thought that she was married and she didn’t want her marriage to end. Buffy really did want the happily ever after, or as close to it as she could get. She loved Spike and maybe one day he would come to love her, too. Their meeting must have been fate, mustn’t it? What else could it be? Not wanting to face the possible reality of what she’d committed to, Buffy stayed curled up in the middle of the bed. The tears fell for awhile, but then slowly dried up. There was no sound anywhere in the apartment. Apparently this time he wasn’t coming to look for her. There would be no passionate reunion to chase away her doubts.
Maybe he was waiting for her? The thought buoyed her sinking emotions enough for her to crawl out of bed again. She headed for the bathroom to wash the tear tracks from her cheeks. The cold water felt good on her skin, bringing a sense of sanity to her wayward thoughts. It was time to start acting like an adult and not a scared kid.
“Buffy, you watch too much Lifetime,” she told her reflection as she fixed her ponytail. It wasn’t like William thought of the pre-nuptial agreement on his own. She knew it was Giles that had talked him into it. There wasn’t any reason for her to be so doomy and gloomy. With that thought, she ran downstairs determined to make up with her husband.
Except he wasn’t around and neither was his lawyer. The silence permeated the downstairs making her wonder if she was alone. But she didn’t really think that Spike would leave without telling her. At least she hoped not, so she started to make her way through the rooms to see if he was just being quiet somewhere. Then she noticed the closed door leading to his study. Of course, he would hide in his private domain. It was the one place that he would feel most secure.
Bolstering her courage, Buffy tapped gently on the door.
“William, may I come in?”
She waited a few seconds but there wasn’t a reply. Sighing, she bit her lip, argued with herself for a moment, then tried the knob. It turned effortlessly, allowing her to peek into the room. Spike sat in a black leather Club chair that was tucked in a corner that she knew instantly it was where he sat and read. His head was down, staring at his hands. He didn’t respond to her entrance as she padded across the thick white carpet.
“William…I’d like to talk to you,” Buffy said, sitting by his feet on the ottoman. She placed her hand on his leg. “Please, look at me.”
“I’m sorry, Buffy,” Spike responded, looking up at her with tortured eyes. His cheeks were red where he’d obviously rubbed them. He reminded her of a little boy caught in mischief making and truly repentant of his misdeeds. “It never occurred to me to have one drawn up before we were married. Not like there was time anyway, but it’s…”
“The sensible thing to do,” Buffy finished, looking down. “I called my father to get the name of a lawyer to contact.”
“You were that desperate, pet?” Spike asked, showing how much he already knew and understood her.
“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I should have known better.”
“Didn’t he want to help you?”
His tone made Buffy look up to study him. There was anger directed at her father in the solemn visage before her.
“Oh, he eventually gave me a name to call,” Buffy said. “But only after he laughed at my decision to marry you and what he called my foolishness.”
“That idiot,” Spike muttered. “He has no clue what a precious woman you are.”
“So precious that you’re afraid I’ll run off with everything you have,” Buffy said, unable to stop the lingering feelings of anger and bitterness from coming out.
“I deserve that,” Spike said, reaching over to grab her hand. His thumb caressed the soft flesh of her palm. “Don’t you know that if I ever lost you that none of this would matter?” He paused, closed his eyes and swallowed before looking back at her. “I couldn’t bear it.”
“I’m not Drusilla.”
“God, no,” Spike protested, sitting up and scooting forward. “I don’t think that at all. Never would I consider you anything like that bitch.”
“A bitch?” Buffy asked, her amazement making her laugh as she stared at him incredulously. When he told her the story of his deceased wife, she’d seen pain, confusion and even disillusionment in the man before her. But not an inkling to the hatred that he presented now. How could she have missed it? It changed how she viewed William even if she didn’t want it to. What else hadn’t he told her? Or what had she blinded herself to in her determination to believe in him?
“She cheated on me,” Spike said, anger flashing in his blue eyes. “She controlled our lives and tried to control me with her games.” He pointed at his chest. “I’m the one who signed the prenup with her because her family’s assets couldn’t be touched with the likes of me. I wasn’t worthy of their princess no matter how much I worshipped her.” He slumped back, covering his face with his hand.
There wasn’t anything she could say. It didn’t sound like he was over Drusilla at all. Buffy withdrew into herself, crossing her arms over her chest, while she physically pulled away from her husband. If the ground would open up and swallow her, Buffy would welcome it in that moment. Maybe her father was right about Spike wanting a sweet, young piece of ass that wouldn’t give him any trouble. A doll for her husband to use when it pleased him, then discarded when he grew tired of her or when he found someone else prettier.
“Do you want me to sign the prenuptial?” Buffy asked.
“No, I don’t,” Spike said. “Didn’t you hear me? I don’t want to imagine a future without you in it.”
“You said you couldn’t bear it,” Buffy said, turning to look at him. “I thought it was because of her.”
Spike laughed. He pulled her onto his lap, cuddling her close against him. “I don’t want to lose you. You make my life so much happier with you in it. She’s gone and I want it left that way. You’re my wife now, not her, okay?”
“Yes, William,” Buffy exhaled, snuggling down into the security of his arms. There were still questions and doubts lingering, but she didn’t want to care or take the time to examine them. It was better to just accept his words and thus insure her own happiness. In the last year there had been too many times when she had to make decisions she wasn’t ready for, or search for the truth among the carefully chosen words of hope from her mothers and the doctors. They’d all been wrong anyway. The surgery to remove the brain tumor hadn’t worked because her mother was dead. The haven they’d found destroyed in that single moment when she came home to find the body.
“So, we agree on no prenuptial agreement?” Spike said, tightening his hold on her.
“Yep, we’re going to be together forever,” Buffy said, smiling up at him. “No clouds on our horizon.”
“Can’t be when you’re my light,” Spike whispered, brushing his fingertips along her jaw. “Want to go shopping this afternoon?”
“For what?”
Spike brought her hand to his lips so that he could kiss each tip before sucking the index finger into her mouth. She felt it deep within her womb. It was an electrical pull that brought moisture to her panties. Never would she have thought that a mere touch like this could make her ache in need.
“I want the world to know where I stand in regards to you,” Spike said, dragging his tongue along the vein on the inside of her wrist. He nipped the delicate skin of her upper arm before making eye contact again. “I want to buy you a diamond ring and a wedding bad.”
“You don’t have to,” Buffy protested, but everything inside her screamed yes. She wanted a sign of his possession visible for everyone to see. There would be no doubts of their union if she wore his ring.
“Oh, come on,” Spike said, with a laugh. “You know you want a big old diamond on your finger.”
She couldn’t help but giggle at the amusement on his face. “Well, yeah, I do but I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
“Shit, woman, I am obligated. Isn’t that part of the marriage deal?”
“Oh, and what do you get out of this marriage deal?” Buffy said letting her fingers play with the short curls on the nape of his neck.
“You, barefoot and pregnant, taking care of my every need,” Spike said.
“Haha, am I to be your slave then?”
“Yep, just like I’m yours,” Spike said. “It’s a mutual thing.”
“Okay, then,” Buffy said, kissing his cheek. He was reassuring her in a way that made her earlier doubts seem silly. They were both committed to this relationship no matter who didn’t like it. Soon a symbol of Spike’s devotion would grace her hand. And maybe if she took whatever cash she had left she could buy one for him. “I want to buy you a ring, too.”
“We’ll get a matching set,” Spike said. “I want everyone to know that I belong to you, too.”
“Something simple then,” Buffy said. “I don’t need anything fancy.”
“Hmmph,” Spike said. “I don’t want everyone to have to use a magnifying glass to see your diamond.”
“It’s just that,” Buffy whispered. “Well, I don’t have a lot of money to spend.”
“Pet, I wouldn’t say that,” Spike said, with a grin. “If we’re a team then everything I have is yours. So, as of now you have a lot of money and don’t protest,” he said, rubbing his nose against hers. “It’s ours and that’s the way I want it.”
Buffy still felt that she should buy his wedding band, but knew that it wasn’t worth the time to argue. She would lose the argument in the end. The only thing she could do was give in. Besides it was making him happy to plan this shopping trip.
“All right,” she said, throwing one hand up in the air. “I give in. Where are going to look?”
“Well, I think Tiffany is the only place that is suitable to acquire your ring,” Spike said, grinning as her face lit up at the name of the famous jewelry store. “I mean if you want to go to some dime store place…”
“No, no,” Buffy said, hugging him close. “That’s fine. Let me go and get some make up on and some shoes.” She jumped off his lap, heading for the door. “I won’t be long, I promise.”
His laughter echoed behind her. Never in her life had she ever thought that she would get to see the inside of a Tiffany’s much less wear one of their rings. Maybe life was a fairy tale after all, she thought as she raced up the stairs. Or maybe it was just that William was her Prince Charming after all. Whatever it was she was going to enjoy it. She’d be a fool not to, wouldn’t she?
to be continued…
