~~~Epilogue~~~
The view of the ocean outside
his window distracted Will from his work.
He sighed as he forced himself to look around his new study. It was a perfect place for him to create or to
keep the world away. There was enough space
for all of his books, but it was small enough to be cozy. Often Buffy would curl up on the corner
loveseat in the evenings when he worked late so they could still be close. It was comforting to have her near him even
if she was engrossed in a magazine or even resting with her earphones playing
her favorite tunes. Often he found
himself smiling as he watched her feet dancing, as they kept beat to the music
only she could hear.
He drummed his fingers on
his wooden desk, before pushing the thoughts from his mind and returning to the
almost completed task before him. All he
needed to do was finish it and he could put a ‘the end’ to that part of his
life. The last links to a past that no
longer seemed real, except it had happened and his current novel would be a constant
reminder proof of it. It was an expose
disguised in a fictional account of a vampire clan to represent his
relationships to those around him. A
fitting metaphor for the very life they sucked from his soul.
He didn’t know if he would
ever publish it. All he knew was that it
was his catharsis.
A chance to work through all
of the emotional scars he carried from those relationships. Including the ripping of his soul from his
body as he watched Xander jump off the roof of his building. Not even the murder of Drusilla cut him as
deep as the suicide of his best friend.
It made him question his own right to share in the world around him, to
accept Buffy’s love and to take on the responsibility of fatherhood. Only his
inner voice screaming that he didn’t want his life to be over led him to break
from his stupor and find someone who could help him find his way back.
Defining his emotions made looking
back at his dark past clearer than it had ever been while living it. Often he
would share the pages with the therapist he still saw a couple of times a month
to get an impartial opinion on his motives and desires.
His fingers returned to his
keyboard as he returned to those bitter days….
It amazed me how a beautiful day could mark such a
tragedy. The sun was high in the
afternoon sky with not a cloud in sight.
The green grass bent without protest under my footsteps as I made my way
across the cemetery. The palm of my right
hand was probably bloody. I didn’t
look. It hurt where the thorns of the
two roses I clutched dug into my hand.
It was all right though. The pain
was only an extension of the relationship I had with Nicholas and Camellia.
Earlier in the day, I stood bemused by all the blooms
available for purchase in the flower shop.
Their sweet perfume was heady as I studied them, but in the end, I chose
a traditional red rose for Nicholas and pink for Camellia. It seemed appropriate. Despite the flamboyant decadence of their
lives, they both craved a hearth and home situation, and yet never could
sacrifice enough to build that life. The
pleasure in their vampire blood lust was too strong to ever seek another path.
Only their dependency on me kept them from taking too much of my life force.
They left me alive so that I could be their gopher and servant in the daytime
hours.
While I made my way across the cemetery, my free hand
held tightly to Honey’s. She was the
reason I was there. She felt it was for
the best and at times like this I let her make the decisions. It was she who understood the meaning of
family and her teachings were slowly seeping into my thick skull. If she weren’t so patient, I never would have
seen my brother for the truly evil person that he’d become over the years. Without her love, my own soul would have
burned away by the fires of hell that finally consumed the others.
The graves were high on a hill, marked by
ostentatious monuments linked by a statue of an angel. It would be something Nicholas would like, Camellia
too, to be even larger in death than they were in life. The angel was carved
from the finest marble. A serene
expression on her lovely face gave comfort to those who wanted to believe in
the powers of beyond. Personally, I doubted if any angel would dare guard the
bodies of Nicholas or Camellia in fear of losing their own salvation. Some people didn’t deserve the rewards of
heaven. We can only beg forgiveness for them being so blind to the truth and
pray for their eternal soul. In the end,
my brother bore the chains he made with his choices.
Reaching the gravesite, I was surprised by the number
of townspeople who attended. Their gazes
at me weren’t friendly, and many were hostile, but I wouldn’t let them get to
me. After all, I’d chosen the path of
righteousness and it was with my hands that I’d taken the beast from their
midst. Yes, my brother had died at my
hands and with his death Camellia was freed from her own curse, but she didn’t
want it. The aging of her flesh after
her return to being human was too much and she chose death instead.
Except she hadn’t. She’d been brutally murdered at the hands of
Xander. And it was her death that
carried more guilt for William. If only he
hadn’t straddled the line of his own sexuality when it came to Xander, maybe
they would still be alive. Only he had
loved Xander more than just a friend or brother, yet not enough to be
lovers. For so long it was only Xander
who cared for him and accepting that love was a debt that in the end came with
too high of a price, not only for him but also for everyone around him.
After all that happened, he
knew that accepting genuine love and accepting love because you needed to be
loved were two different things. It was
hard coming to the realization that he needed the affirmation of being loved so
much that he let the wrong person too close to him, but it was a mistake he
would never make again.
Needing a drink, Will left
his study to head for the kitchen. He
took the back hallway so he wouldn’t have to intrude on the women in his living
room. Tara and Jenny were visiting Buffy
to spend the afternoon planning Jenny’s wedding to Giles. They were oohing and ahhing over dresses in
the latest bridal magazine. The affair
would be small, but Jenny wanted something elegant and her friends were
determined to make it an extraordinary affair.
Everyone in their small family was looking forward to the happy
event. After months of struggling to
find peace again, they all deserved a celebration.
Will leaned against the
kitchen counter, sipping a glass of water while he stared out the window. He felt a part of him relax as he watched the
ocean roll onto the shore in an ancient rhythm that would last long after he
died. It gave him faith along with a
reminder that he wasn’t the center of the universe, but only a small part of
it. Daily he gave thanks for this second
chance.
The need to end the final
links to the past drove him to hurry back to the study. He shifted through the printed pages next to
his keyboard as he tried to pick up the threads of his writing again. Something stopped him. The name, Emmaline, seemed to jump out at
him. He started to read what he’d
written a few days ago…
My return to the chalet was one of the hardest things
I’ve ever done. A huge dwelling where we
all chose to live, once upon a time, and now I was the only survivor of the
original four. Honey kissed my cheek
softly before retiring to her suite on the second floor. The sweet scent of vanilla drifted with her,
but was soon lost to the heavy fragrance of roses that my first wife often
wore. It clung to the air as if she were
still alive. But she was dead, like my
brother and his wife, another casualty of the narcissistic demon who stole
their souls.
Yet, I hadn’t let her go. Despite the love of Honey, a part of my heart
still belonged to Emmaline. I didn’t want it to, not anymore, but she still
clung to me. To the house where her
furniture still stood where she’d left it.
On some lesser-used pieces, I’m sure I would find a strand of her hair
where her scent still clung to the fabric.
It was overpowering. I hated
it. How could I have been so blind? To fall for such evil even wrapped in a
seductive package. Was I that
naïve? That desperate for a tender
touch? I had been and was, but now I wanted her vanquished from my life.
Overcome with so many emotions, I flew out of
control, overturning the furniture, throwing what I could, kicking what would
not budge until I broke. Crying, I
crumpled to the ground, letting all of my emotions out in a hysterical scene to
rival any Victorian maiden. I don’t know
how long I lay there weeping, but when my senses returned, it was to find Honey
with me.
“Let us leave,” I said, staring into eyes far older
and wiser than mine.
“Come live by the sea with me,” she said.
I took her hand, swearing never to return to this
dark crypt filled with spider webs and dust of another time. Walking back into the sunshine I knew that my
new life was just beginning. One filled
with a true happiness.
Laying the paper back down,
Will left his hand on top of it, letting his thumb caress the words. Just as he told Giles, he never returned to
Sanctuary. From the funeral, they had
gone to a hotel where they lived until they found this house. A place Buffy chose, decorating it with soft
colors, and it was where they made a nursery for the baby.
“Will?”
“Hello.”
Buffy was in the doorway
with a smile upon her face. “Are you
busy?”
“I can make time for
you.”
He pushed his chair away
from the desk to give her room to settle on his lap. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her
close. This was the happiest he’d been
in his life. Nothing could compare to
holding the woman he loved while she carried their child in her womb. He loved those moments when he felt the baby
kick or watched her stomach roll from its motions. Buffy kissed the top of his head.
“The girls are going to hang
out for awhile. Is that all right?”
“Of course,” he answered,
hoping that didn’t mean she wouldn’t stay with him for a while longer.
“Um, Giles and Doyle are
coming over, too.”
“Impromptu party, Luv?”
Not that he minded. Doyle was becoming a good friend to them
while he courted
“Something like that,” Buffy
answered. “Will, I’ve started having
contractions…”
“What? Why didn’t you tell me? We need to get you to the hospital.”
If she wasn’t sitting on his
laps, he would have been frantically dashing about to gather the things they
needed to take with them. As it was, she
was holding him down, but she seemed too calm to him.
“It’s okay.” She giggled. “The contractions are still far apart. I just spoke to
“Don’t scare me like that,”
Will leaned back, smiling up at his wife as he basked in the knowledge that in
a few hours he would be a father. He
rubbed Buffy’s huge belly. “Hey there
little one, it’s Daddy. We got
everything ready for you, but don’t expect too much because we’re new at this
parenting thing.”
“Don’t make the baby
insecure about coming out. I might end
up pregnant forever.”
“Nah, she’ll come out
because even what we lack in experience we’ll make up in love.” Tears filled his eyes as he thought about a
little girl with Buffy’s eyes trusting him with all her secrets.
“What if it’s a boy?”
“Doesn’t matter,” William
shrugged. It was with love they’d chosen
not to know the sex of their baby. The
only thing important was that it was conceived in love. He took her hand to
kiss the back of it. “He or she is loved
and one of the most wanted babies ever to be born.” He paused, swallowed back
his fears before looking up at his wife.
“Thank you for not giving up on me, Buffy. There is so much I want to give you, to make
up to you…”
“All I need is you.” She cupped his face, letting her thumb trace
his lips. “I’m here…for better or
worse.”
Chuckling, he playfully bit
her thumb, “Well, I’ve given you the worst, now it’s time for the best. I
promise.”
Suddenly he was wet. He stared up at Buffy in shock, unsure if she
was all right or not.
“Shit,” Buffy cursed, trying
to get off his lap. “I’m so sorry…” Then
she started laughing which only confused him more.
“What happened? Are you okay?” He ran his hands over her to see if she was
hurt or bleeding.
“I’m fine,” Buffy waved away
his worries. She couldn’t stop laughing
and had to explain between bursts of laughter.
“We’re even; believe me, because my water just broke.”
“Huh?” It took a second to
understand what she’d said and when it did sink in, Will jumped to his feet,
wiping at his lap. “Oh my god, that’s
just…”
“Gross,” Buffy finished.
He stopped his motions to
look up at her. She was still giggling
and he couldn’t help but join in. It was
gross, but it was her and him and their family so it was okay, too. He wrapped his arms around her and started
laughing, too. It wasn’t ever going to
be perfect, but it was going to be good.
He couldn’t ask for anything more.
~~~The End…again~~~
