Chapter 32 – The Other Side of Darkness
Hopefully…expectantly…he tilted
his face upwards.
“Amazing, bloody amazing,”
Spike thought as for the first time in over a century he felt the heat of the
sun on his face. He shrugged off his duster and tossed it aside. The warmth was
too much of a temptation and he stretched his arms out to allow it to work its
magic on his arms and chest.
He curled his fingers in
invitation to Angel who was still standing in the shadows. Buffy had been the
one to suggest that Spike be the first to test Giles’ theory. It still wasn’t
clear to him if it was because she wanted him to have the glory or because she
thought he was the more expendable of the two. In the end he had shrugged it
off. A chance to do something this magnificent was something he couldn’t pass
up.
Angel hesitated on the edge
of the shadow from the building. The memory reflected in those chocolate eyes
was one that Spike understood well. The irony of both of them losing the sun in
an alley by the women they had once loved and now being given the gift of day
again in another alley by a woman they both adored.
“Come on, Ang,” Spike said
enticingly. “It’s the most fucking marvelous feeling.”
A grin danced briefly across
his Sire’s face before he took the step that would change him. Angel stopped
next to him, tilting his head in the same way as somehow their fingers
interlocked together. “It’s back,” Spike thought, smiling as the connection
returned between him and his mates. He looked over at Buffy as he felt her joy
for them bubbling through her. She was actually giggling at their antics of
turning every which way so that the rays touched every part of them.
“Well, I guess we have a lot
of research to do,” Wesley said dryly. “I think we’ve crossed a new boundary in
vampire and slayer lore.”
“I believe we have,” Giles
agreed.
It came upon him without
warning. Dizziness and incredible pain shot through Spike, rocking him on his
feet. It was worse than the first time they had broken the connection. Like
before it had been a chain reaction that had started with Buffy as she cried
out and crumpled to the ground. The moment they were torn apart Spike felt his
flesh began to sizzle. He stood in stupefied shock as he watched the smoke curl
from his arm until Angel grabbed him and pulled him back into the shade.
“Buffy, Buffy,” Angel said,
as he knelt at the Slayer’s side.
Spike shook off his
confusion and rushed to join his mates. Buffy was moaning and her hand
fluttered in the air before it went to her head. Her eyes opened but closed
again as another cry of pain ripped through her.
“Luv, we’re right here,”
Spike said, gripping her hand as tears slid down his cheeks. He looked up at
Angel. “We need to take her inside.”
Angel stood, cradling their
girl in his arms, ignoring the two Watchers hovering around them. His Sire
barked orders for them to get some water and a wet cloth for her. Once they
were in the building and everyone else had found out what had happened they
rushed into action. Buffy was laid on the couch in her training room and things
kept appearing for her, the water, a cloth, a blanket and even some aspirin if
she needed it.
“What happened?” Buffy
murmured a few minutes later.
“You fainted,” Jenny said,
sitting next to her. She had pushed the vampires aside so that she could
administer to the girl. Her hand caressed Buffy’s cheek, brushing a strand of
hair out of the way. “How are you feeling now?”
“Like somebody conked me
over the head,” Buffy said, trying to sit up.
“Don’t pet,” Spike said, leaning
over her. “Lie there and rest for a little while.”
Buffy nodded, her eyes
shuttering closed as she lay back down. It was too much for him to handle as
Spike felt the crushing guilt pressing on his carefully constructed walls. He
had hurt her again. His own selfish desires had brought pain to the one person
he wanted to protect. It was agonizing to stand there watching her be so weak.
She should never be weak. She was a Slayer, built to be a warrior and he, a
vampire, was leaving her defenseless. It was threatening to choke him. Spike
wrapped his arms around himself as he backed away, stifling the scream that was
so close to the surface.
“May I see you two?” Giles
asked, gesturing for Angel and him to follow the Watcher out of the training
room.
Spike took another look at
Buffy to make sure she was okay for the moment before following Giles from the
room. Wesley followed close behind him as they made their way into the main
room of the Magic Shop. Unable to cope with too much Spike slumped down into
one of the chairs. Angel could handle any questions or problems while he tried
to remain focused on staying in control.
“Has this happened before?”
Giles asked.
I
“No,” Angel said. “Buffy’s
been fine. No problems or side effects that we know of.”
“Did either of you feel
anything while you were out there?” Giles asked, looking between the vampires.
“Pain,” Spike said, staring
at the floor. “I was feeling Buffy. She was happy then there was this blinding
pain in my head. Worse even than the chip going off.”
“You did?” Angel asked. He
turned toward the Watchers. “I guess its unanimous then. I don’t think my pain
was as bad as either of theirs.”
“Interesting,” Wesley said.
“You said you were feeling Buffy?”
“Yeah, we had that odd
connection thing going,” Spike explained. “What do you think happened?”
“I think you were draining
her,” Giles said, taking a seat on the edge of one of the tables. “It’s sounds
to me that the three of you have more of a psychic connection than it an actual
physical one. The energies of each of you are flowing into the other making you
feel one another. Because of the demon and soul situation, I would say that whether
you can feel it or not, it is there all the time. And when you concentrate you
can feel it more. Buffy was pouring everything she had into the two of you to
keep you safe in the sun. It was more than she could handle and she passed
out.”
“You mean this soul isn’t actually
mine,” Spike looked up excitedly. “I’m borrowing from the two of them so it
might go away?”
“If the bond between you is
broken,” Giles said, smiling. “Then yes, it would probably go away as would
Buffy’s demon but as long as the three of you are joined then I’m afraid you’re
going to be suffering.”
“Bollocks,” Spike groused.
“I thought I had an out there.”
“So, Buffy is going to be
all right?” Angel asked, slipping his hands into his pockets.
“Yes, I believe so. She just
needs to rest,” Wesley said. “But think of the possibilities, gentlemen. If the
three of you could strengthen that connection, work at it, you might be able to
walk in the sun permanently and Buffy with her heightened senses would be
almost unstoppable as a Slayer.”
“No,” Spike said, standing.
His concern for Buffy pushed away his own pressing problems. “We are not going
to start doing some damn experiments like we’re your personal guinea pigs or
something. Had enough of that with those Initiative blokes.”
“I’m with him on this,”
Angel said, coming to stand beside him.
“Don’t you think you should
let Buffy make that decision?” Giles asked, sarcastically. “I mean since she is
in charge.”
The Watcher’s demeaning tone
only served to remind Spike of how others perceived him. An evil vampire that
had no feelings or thoughts, whose very existence shouldn’t be and it didn’t
matter what they did to him because he wasn’t good enough for them. The
frustration and pain of what the Initiative had done to him had echoed in
Wesley’s desire to treat him as substandard. He rocked under the emotions that
were threatening to take him under.
“It is my decision,” Buffy
said.
The men turned to find her
holding onto the doorframe. She reached her hand out to Spike who wasted no
time in reaching her side. He slipped his arm around and helped her toward
Angel. The two vampires closed rank around her.
“Buffy, think of what you
may be able to achieve,” Wesley said. “It might even help us to defeat Glory.”
“Research it,” Buffy said,
her gaze drifting between the two Watchers. “Find out what you can and when we
meet tonight we’ll discuss it. Then, Angel, Spike, and I will decide how much
or how little we want to do.”
“All right,” Giles said.
“That seems fair enough.”
“Eight, tonight at the
mansion,” Buffy said, turning to look back at the others who had followed her
out of the training room. After receiving
their acknowledgements she turned back to the Giles. “We’re going to go home
now so that I can rest.”
~~~~~~~~
He was terrified.
The horror surrounded him
leaving him frozen where he stood. The blood oozed out of the walls creating
rivers as it spilled onto the floor. It splashed over his boots, soaking the
hem of his jeans. Spike swallowed as he looked around, looking for his mates. They
would help him. He called out to the shadows he saw passing through the hall in
front of him but no one answered. The blood was running down the walls even
faster, reaching higher up his legs. He tried to move his legs again but it
seemed his feet were stuck to the floor. He looked down, reaching for his leg
to try and force it to move when a body floated by him. The woman was young,
beautiful and her throat was ripped out. He screamed for help but none came.
The bodies did though, hundreds floating past him, his victims and his screams
turned to sobs.
“Spike, wake up,” Buffy
said, her voice was too far away and he could barely hear her. “It’s all right.
Wake up.”
“It’s all right, boy,” Angel
said, reaching through the fog.
“Where are you?” Spike
cried, his hands reaching into the blood. He couldn’t find his mates. They were
lost to him. “Please help me. Please.” The blood splashed coating his body. He
tried to get it off of him but it only spread. “Buffy, Angel, why did you leave
me alone?”
“We didn’t,” Buffy said.
“Open your eyes. We’re right here.”
Heat, comforting heat,
reached through the icy dread of his nightmare. He could feel his mates
surrounding him…touching him…reaching for him and he opened his eyes to find
himself back in their bedroom. The fear was still there, mingled with the
guilt, weighing heavy on him, forcing him back into the mattress.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”
Spike muttered, not caring about the tears he was shedding. He just wanted it
to go away.
“Shh, Spike,” Buffy
murmured, turning him to face her. “It’s all right, it’s all right.”
Angel’s hands stroked his
back and left kisses along his shoulders. He was safe. His sobs turned to ones
of relief as he was caressed by the two he knew without doubt loved him. He
buried his face in Buffy’s neck, holding onto her while Angel continued to embrace
them both. There was no embarrassment here in their arms. They were his and he
was theirs and no matter who had what, they were a part of each other. He felt
Buffy rolling onto her back and at first he resisted her attempts to take him
with her.
“It’s all right, Luv,” Buffy
whispered, pulling him on top of her. “Let me be your comfort.” Her legs
wrapped around him. “I love you, Spike.”
Angel reached between them,
positioning Spike at her entrance. “Take what she offers. It’s yours.” His Sire
whispered to him. His hand was now stroking the blonde curls as Spike slipped
into the sweetest heat. There was no need for urgency as he slowly moved within
her. There in the rapture they were creating, Spike could feel Angel, too. It
was their souls moving through him, filling him with their love and light.
Spike wondered if he was
still dreaming, just sliding from nightmare to bliss as he felt hands, hers,
his, sliding over him, loving him. Somehow Buffy still wanted and accepted him.
She was still willing to give him the gift of her body. His love for her flowed
out of him, his hands touching her where he knew it would bring her the
greatest pleasure. His thrusts shifted to grind against her, lifting her to
slide deeper inside to nudge against the spot that made her moan so deeply.
“Love you, baby, love you so
much,” Buffy cooed, moving with him. “Let everything go but us.”
“Always here, Childe,” Angel
whispered, kissing them both, touching and stoking the fire. “I’ll protect you,
stand with you, always.”
Angel’s leg was thrown over
them, as was his arm, and his lips and cock were touching
them. The fire was burning out of control as the three became one. It was there
again, the flight, the soaring and the falling over the precipice. Buffy cried
out, taking them with her, and for a moment again, Spike felt his heart surge
and beat with the power between them as he spilled his seed deep within her.
to be continued…
