Chapter 21
The apartment was too
quiet. No sounds came from outside the
closed door of the bathroom. Fred
stopped towel drying her hair as she cast a nervous glance around her. Fear shot through her at the screaming
silence. Only in the middle of the night
when they were both sleeping was the place void of sound. Either the television was on, or they were
playing the radio. If nothing else,
there should be the sound of Wesley moving about the place.
Dropping the towel, Fred
grabbed her clothes off the towel rack to dress as rapidly as her shaking hands
would allow. Shooting through her mind
were visions of Wesley dead or bound as Buffy's killers waited for her to step
out so they could take revenge on her. Despite
the irrationality the reasoning, it was one more thing to lie at the blonde's
feet. Anger mixed with her fear giving
her a boost of courage. Fred started
searching the bathroom for some sort of weapon.
"Oh god, I'm in
protective custody and I have no weapon.
That's really dumb of me," Fred muttered as she closed the top
drawer of the vanity. Snapping her
fingers, she grabbed her makeup bag. A
moment later, she pulled out her cuticle scissors, winced at the futility of it
as a weapon and then shrugged. It was
all she could find so it would have to do.
"Aim for the throat or the eye. Only chance you have," she
told herself, opening the door.
A quick glance told her that
the hallway was empty. She listened, but
still no sounds reached her. Not even a
crackle on the air. Holding her breath,
she stepped into the hallway, flattening herself against the wall. As quietly as she could, she slid down to the
entrance to the living room.
She stood dumbfounded when
she saw that there was no danger. Wesley
sat on the couch with his head down, but he was breathing and there wasn't any
blood. He seemed to be lost in thought. Worry chased away the fear and the anger as
she hurried to the couch to sit beside him.
"Wes, what's
wrong," Fred asked, taking his hand in hers and moving both to her
lap.
He blinked, before giving
her a look of surprise as if he didn't know how she got there.
"Yeah, things are
fine." He chuckled. "I just
started thinking about things I shouldn't." After taking a deep breath, he continued,
"Old stuff that doesn't really matter anymore."
Despite his dismissal of his
feelings, Fred could tell he was still upset about something. She wondered if he had left behind a
girlfriend when he came on this detail to watch her. Or was it something else? Something bigger? All she knew about him was that he was a cop,
and that he liked reading, and went out of his way to make her birthday
special. She shook her head to ward off
her tumbled thoughts and the betrayal of the man whose ring she wore.
"If you want to talk,
I'm willing to listen."
"Thank you,
Fred." He tucked her hair behind
her ear. "You're sweet."
Unexpected shivers rocketed
through her body as his fingers lingered on her neck. The air between them was charged, their gazes
locked, and she realized he wanted to kiss her.
She tensed as she tried to figure out how to let him down without
hurting him. Except when she opened her
mouth, she couldn't say anything because she realized she wanted it, too.
She closed the gap between
them until their lips were touching. It
was tentative at first, but then his fingers slid back into her hair and he
took control. The shivers turned into
something hotter as she pressed herself against Wesley. Shifting, stumbling, they found a way to be
closer together. He deepened the kiss so their tongues teased.
Fred pushed any thoughts of
Spike away. He wasn't there. Had never really been with her and now with Wesley
holding her, she knew now that she and Spike had never really connected heart
wise. This knowledge thought, and
accepted, she opened her heart to this man holding her with such passion. She may regret it with this whole thing was
over, but she didn't want to wait anymore.
She'd been waiting long enough for this feeling.
~~~~~
Buffy snored as she rolled
on her back. Spike smiled, brushing
back a lock of hair from her cheek. He
was relieved she was sleeping. Not for
him, but for her. She needed the rest so
that she would be fully prepared for whatever was coming. Although he wasn't sure what that entailed,
he knew that as long as Masters and Luke were still free, anything was
possible. He wished he could have gotten
her to stay with Lorne and Kate. She
would have been safer with them than with him.
"Why are you staring at
me?" Buffy asked, startling
him.
He hadn't even realized
she'd woken up until she spoke.
"Because you're cute
when you're snoring and asleep."
"Humph, whatever,"
Buffy said as she pulled the thin sheet further up her body. "It's freezing in this place."
Laughing, Spike grabbed the
blanket gathered at the foot of the bed and threw it over her. "Better?"
"Yeah." She
adjusted the blanket, shifting in the bed until she was closer to him.
It was a subtle invitation
to cuddle. For body warmth. For more.
Knowing he was doomed, Spike closed the distance between them. Their bodies formed to one another as if time
had stood still. Curves and angles melted
away until they were lying comfortably as one.
"You never told me why
you were staring?" Buffy whispered.
"I was just wondering
where the girl I once knew went. You've
grown up."
"Is that a bad
thing?"
"No, its not. I miss that girl, but know that I like the
woman even more."
"I’m surprised you said
that, because up until this moment, I haven't seen a clue that you think that
way."
She was right. He rebelled at her maturing at every turn
even though he once fought her to make her face the world on her own. A paradox that confused even him, but was
becoming clearer to him every moment that he was with her. He wanted what was best for her, which was for
her to grow up and face the world. For
him, it was an irrational fear that she would no longer need the hero she saw
in him. The more he feared, the harder
he pushed her away.
"I'm so proud of
you," he said, deciding that although he couldn’t give her forever yet, he
could give her something else. Something
that might help her hold on a little longer.
There was a slight turning of her head until she was tucked under his
chin making him tighten his arms around her.
"I was proud of you when you came to me. The day you walked into the convenience
store, the way you handled leaving home, and the bravery you showed in facing
Peterson. Not everyone could do that. They would have given up the chance to be free,
preferring to stay hidden away instead.
Not you. Despite having something
so horrible happen to you, you shouldered it, found a way to deal with it and
ended up a better person for it."
"Thank you," Buffy
mumbled. "I couldn't have done it
without you."
"Yes, you could
have," Spike said. "I think
that's what scares me."
"Stop it. You gave me the strength to do all of
it. Remember, you had to come pull me
out of that bathtub." She giggled.
"Management would have found my skeletal remains if you hadn't
found me."
"And without me, you've
gone to college, you found yourself, and you would have continued if you hadn't
called that day."
"I called you,
remember? I got into trouble and I
called you. Not Angel or Kate or Lorne, but you."
"Can't help it that I'm
better than they are," Spike said, with a surge of pride that it was him
that she did call that day.
"I get scared, and I
wanted you to come rescue me."
"Don't. Open your eyes, pet, you and me, we work well
together."
A silence followed his
affirmation of their relationship. He
figured she was silent because it was something she'd already said. It was a wonder she wasn't saying, 'told you
so', but not his Buffy. She was giving
him time to absorb it and waiting to find out if he was going to backtrack or
not. He couldn't. Not this time.
He slid down the bed until
he could look into her eyes.
"We do, don't
we?" He asked with a sigh. She nodded, but with the aid of the light
cast from the bathroom, he could see the apprehension in her eyes. "Oh love, I'm sorry for being such an
ass. At first, I pushed you away because
I wanted you to learn to stand on your own two feet, and then when you do, I
push you away because I'm scared to death you won't need me." When she went to speak, he pressed a kiss to
her mouth. "I'm not going to change
my mind about what I said earlier. I
still need to go back to Fred before I do anything else, but I want you to know
that I don't want to be afraid anymore.
I need you to teach me how to survive with such an open heart. Will you?"
"Yes," Buffy
whispered before she kissed him.
With her arms holding him in
safety, Spike let her be the strong one.
He felt his doubts being pushed away by her surety of their strength
when they were together.
~~~~~
Kate entered the kitchen,
relieved when she saw Cassie sitting at the table since she'd been missing from
her bed. The younger girl was scribbling
in her notebook, but she looked up at Kate's entrance. Not wanting to be too obvious that she'd been
searching for Cassie, Kate went to get a mug from the cabinet.
"Couldn't sleep?"
Kate asked.
"Didn't want to waste
the time."
Knowing Cassie had been
fighting an ever-growing depression, this comment worried Kate. She filled a mug with water and slid it into
the microwave before she went to take a seat across from Cassie.
"You're going to have
plenty of time when this is over," Kate said, hating saying the same
platitude again. She couldn't absolutely
guarantee that they would survive this situation. They'd been found before so it was possible
it could happen again. Cassie's
expression was clear that she knew it too.
"I'm sorry," Kate said with a shake of her head. "I shouldn't be patronizing you."
"It's okay. You mean well."
The microwave's beep gave
Kate a chance to gather her thoughts.
The routine actions of making a cup of tea calmed her so that when she
sat at the table, she was ready to help Cassie.
"It still wasn't right
of me," Kate said. "I've let
my personal feelings get in the way of doing my job and protecting you."
Cassie covered Kate's free
hand with her own. "I like that you
let some personal feelings get in the way.
I always wanted a big sister who would tell me that everything would be
okay."
"It's nice to have a
little sister," Kate agreed.
"I grew up as an only child with only my father." She squeezed
Cassie's hand. It was confession
time. "Growing up, my Dad was never
one to give reassurances. It was 'suck
it up' or 'do what needs to be done'.
Being a cop was my chance to prove how much like him I could be and it
was my motivation for a long time."
"What changed?"
Kate's fear of those
personal feelings on this case must have shown on her face because Cassie held
even tighter to her hand.
"Please talk to
me," Cassie pleaded. "I can
write all night but its not giving me any answers."
"Okay, I'll tell. It's the same reason that I'm going to put
aside my concerns of getting personally involved," Kate said with a
laugh. "Spike and Buffy."
"How?"
"The first time I met Buffy,
it was on a call. The neighbors had
called in a domestic disturbance. They
were both a mess, but Spike did everything he could to take care of her and she
did everything to take care of him."
Kate took a sip of her tea.
"Spike almost got kicked off the force that night for getting
involved with an old case. But he knew
that Buffy needed him to be involved. To
care and he gave it despite the personal cost to him. It made me start to realize that things can
change by caring about someone."
"Are you happier
now?"
"Yeah, I am," Kate
said, smiling. "So, you know one of
my deep dark secrets, do you want to share something with me?"
"I think my emotions
have only gotten me into trouble," Cassie said. "Now, I might die because I loved the
wrong man."
"Did you really love
Luke or was he just someone to fill the loneliness?"
"The loneliness,"
Cassie said after a moment.
"So, trust your heart." Kate laughed.
"Oh god, I'm full of clichés tonight."
"It's okay." Cassie shrugged, and then asked. "So, what's going to happen to me? When
this is over."
"You go on," Kate
said. "Finish school. Build a life with a little more wisdom than
you had before."
"What if they get off
somehow? Or they send someone after me?"
Cassie's voice hitched. "I mean,
I want what you said, but I'm scared that I won't be able to get away, and I'll
never get to graduate, or go ice skating in
Kate's training told her not
to make promises to witnesses.
Especially in a case that was as convoluted and unpredictable as this
one, but Cassie was desperately alone. Somehow,
in this instance for her to give a scripted response would only be cruel. Therefore, she forgot the rulebook, followed
Spike's example, and did what her heart told her to do. She reached across the table, taking Cassie's
hands in her own, "I will fight with everything that I have to make sure
you get that chance. I promise."
to be continued….
