Chapter 31 - Steps
The maitre d’ led the way
through the main dining room and out into the small courtyard area. Buffy
followed him, carefully walking over the bricked area, feeling protected by the
feel of Spike’s hand on her lower back. She hesitated for a second to let her
eyes readjust to the dim lighting of the garden. There were twinkling strands
of white lights overhead meant to give the impression of being under the stars
and the only other illumination was the small lamp on each table.
Blinking rapidly, Buffy took
off after the small man that was disappearing around a corner. Spike’s arm
slipped around her waist to give her more support as they walked. After turning
the corner they could see their friends already gathered around a large round table
in the corner.
“Oh, my,” Buffy mumbled upon
seeing Faith.
The other woman was dressed
in a simple black shift dress. Her long brunette locks were piled on top of her
head while ringlets fell gracefully around her face. It was a totally different
look for Faith who usually lived in jeans and tight tops. It gave her the appearance of the mature
woman she was trying to convince her family that she was. Unconsciously, Buffy
smoothed down the front of her black on white floral print dress.
“You are the most exquisite
woman in the entire place,” Spike whispered in her ear as he pulled her a
little tighter to him.
All the irritation she had
been holding onto disappeared in a rush of love for the man beside her. She
managed to flash a smile at him before the O’Connor’s and Wesley rose to greet
them. There were a lot of hugs and kisses on the cheek before Buffy and Spike were
directed to their chairs. On Buffy’s right was Faith’s mother, Kate and next to
her was her husband, Liam. Across from them was Angel with Faith beside him. In
between Faith and Spike was Wesley.
There was already a bottle
of wine open and before they could accept or refuse, glasses were poured for
them both. Appetizers were quickly ordered while Liam quizzed the men on the
ship and the latest run. Buffy caught Faith’s eyes rolling as the talk about
business continued. Faith was too far away to chit chat with so Buffy accepted
the concerned questions from Kate about her relationship with Spike. Were they
committed? What did she know about Spike?
Before the questioning could
become too personal and uncomfortable, the first course was placed on the
table. Buffy wrinkled her nose at the escargot that Spike had ordered and
primly turned to her own shrimp cocktail. She tried to ignore the appetizer
that Spike was eating. A hand wrapped around her wrist just as she going to
place a shrimp in her mouth. Spike pulled it toward him and ate the small
morsel.
“Have a bite, pet,” Spike
said, bringing a forkful of escargot towards her.
“No, I don’t think so,”
Buffy said, pulling back as the others laughed. “It looks gross.”
“Oh, come on, best thing you’ll
ever put in your mouth,” Spike promised, waggling his brows.
“Are you chicken, Buffy?”
Angel asked in the same voice that once got her into a lot of trouble with the
dares he gave her.
“Yeah, Buffy, come on,”
Faith taunted. “This is your week for trying new things. May as well give it a
whirl, you might like it.”
It was Buffy’s turn to roll
her eyes as she allowed Spike to put the small piece of slime into her mouth.
She chewed it for a moment then she decided she liked it but she wasn’t about
to let Spike off so easily.
“Like it, don’t you?” Spike
asked.
“Not bad,” Buffy said. “But I
hope it won’t be the best thing that ever goes in my mouth.”
The others broke out in
laughter at her words and it took Buffy a moment to realize the double meaning
of her words. Her face turned bright red as the embarrassment washed over her.
“Oh, God, girl,” Liam
chortled. “I’m beginning to think someone put a spell on you and Faith to
switch your personalities or something. I mean with you talking like that and
my little girl wearing an engagement ring.”
“A ring?” Buffy squealed,
turning to Faith. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it and you didn’t show me. Let
me see…”
Faith bashfully pulled her
hand out from under the table and extended her hand. Buffy turned it toward the
small lamp so she could look at it better.
“Good job, Wesley,” Buffy
said, admiring the princess cut diamond ring. “It’s gorgeous. Isn’t it Spike?”
Spike leaned over; placing
his hand on Buffy’s to turn Faith’s so that he could see the ring. His thumb
ran over the stone before looking up at Faith. “It is quite the diamond you
have there. Wesley must really love you.”
“I do,” Wesley said, putting
his arm around Faith’s shoulders and hugging her to him. “Very much so.”
Faith pulled her hand back
so that she could lean into her fiancé.
“Maybe we should go ahead
and tell them,” Faith said, wrapping her hand around Wesley’s arm.
“Tell us what?” Angel said.
Wesley and Faith looked so
completely in love and happy as they exchanged a look that was so intimate that
Buffy had to look away. She knew that look. It was one that she had seen on
Spike’s face so many times when he gazed at her. Needing to feel the connection
between them, Buffy wrapped her hand around his. Spike squeezed it and ran his
thumb along the back of her hand.
“Well, Faith and I,” Wesley
said, placing his hand over the one on his arm. “Not only are we engaged but we
have other good news. We’re both very happy about it and hope that you will be
too.”
Buffy turned her gaze to
Angel and crossed the fingers on her free hand. She said a quick prayer that he
would take it as the joyful news that the engaged couple felt it was. Faith had
taken so many positive steps. She didn’t need a guilt trip from her brother to bring
her down.
“We’re going to have a
baby,” Faith blurted when Wesley hesitated. “Well, I’m having the baby but
Wesley is the father.”
No one spoke for a moment as
the information was absorbed. It was hard to gauge how everyone felt from their
expression. It was Liam that spoke first.
“Is the engagement only
because of the baby?”
“No, sir,” Wesley said.
“I’ve loved your daughter for a very long time. She has made me very happy by
consenting to be my wife. I promise I will do everything that I can to make her
happy.”
“Baby girl, is this what you
want?”
Faith nodded her head.
“Well, then that’s enough
for me,” Mr. O’Connor boomed. “Congratulations. Now let’s find that waiter and
get some champagne.”
The tension eased away as
Faith and her parents started to discuss the couple’s plans for the future.
Angel remained silent as he stared down at his plate. Buffy touched his leg
with her foot to get his attention. He looked up at her and she could see the
emotions warring in his eyes. It was as she thought. Guilt covered his face and
she said a prayer that he wouldn’t ruin the night for his sister and friend.
~~~~~~~
Spike loosened his tie on
his way to the back porch where Angel and Wesley were waiting for him. He
crossed through the living room, noting Buffy and Faith curled up on the couch
talking about weddings and babies. It was surprising that a shudder of fear
didn’t pass through him at the thought. Had it been only months ago that he was
determined to remain single for the rest of his life? It didn’t seem possible
to associate that man with who he was now.
Buffy smiled at him as he
opened the door to go outside. He blew her a kiss before stepping onto the deck.
It had been a relief that dinner had remained a festive affair even with
Angel’s quiet demeanor. His parents hadn’t really seemed to notice or had
chalked it up to his breakup with Cordelia. The others knew and that was why
Buffy and he had invited them over after dinner. It was a case of divide and
conquer as Buffy kept Faith inside so the two males could speak to Angel.
“Here you go,” Spike said,
handing bottles of beer to his companions. He took a seat in the chair next to
Wesley while Angel continued to stand at the railing. “So, what’s up, Angel?”
“I think I should be asking
the two of you that,” Angel said, turning around to face them while leaning
back against the rail. He popped the lid of his beer and took a long drink. “What
are your plans for them?” He glanced up at the two women through the glass of
the French door.
“I thought that was what
tonight was about,” Wesley said. “I guess the only thing that I haven’t told
you yet is that this is going to be my last run. Faith and I spent the day
sending out resumes for me. Hopefully, I’ll be able to procure a position that
will enable Faith to make a choice as to whether she wants to stay home with
the baby or not.”
“Are you happy about the
baby?” Angel asked. “The truth, man to man, or is it a responsibility that you
are dreading?”
“What is there to dread?”
Wesley asked, straightening in his chair. His eyes never wavered from Angel’s.
“I love this child already and I’m ecstatic at the thought of being a father.”
Apparently it was the answer
he was looking because Angel’s lips curved ever slightly as he nodded. He
turned his gaze to Spike who shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny for a
second.
“What is all this about?”
Spike asked, refusing to state promises that he hadn’t even made to Buffy yet.
“I can’t figure out if you’re pissed off or feeling guilty.”
“Well, I’m pissed off that I
have to put up with newbie’s,” Angel said, laughing a bit. “Somehow they always
bring bad luck and I’ve got one on this run because of Xander. Next time I’ll have
one because of Wesley. Next thing you’ll be telling me that you’re going to
become a land lubber too.”
“Not sure when but, yeah,
sometime,” Spike said. “I have to check into some stuff, but the plan is for me
to stay here with Buffy.”
“Must be that spinny thing
she does, huh?” Angel asked, grinning. “She must have perfected the move after
she almost fell on her head.”
“What spinny thing?” Wesley
asked, looking back and forth between the two men.
Spike looked up at Angel in
surprise. He had no clue what the other man was talking about but assumed that
it had something to do with his and Buffy’s sex life. She had to have made up
some kind of story to bug her friend or to try and impress him. Deciding to play along, he smirked up at
Angel, settled into his chair a little more and rubbed his stomach.
“Yeah, it was pretty
impressive,” Spike agreed, hoping he didn’t say the wrong thing and mess up the
story. “The only thing is when I grabbed her to keep her from falling I ended
up with a face full of ass.”
The other two men laughed at
his explanation.
“I always thought her ass
was one of her better features,” Angel said.
It had started off as a joke
but it ended up turning on Spike as Angel’s words sliced through his heart. It
was a bitter reminder that Angel had loved Buffy first and the two still shared
things that he could never be privy to. There were questions he had never been
brave enough to ask Buffy. They were things that were eating at him. In a lot
of ways he was scared to find out the truth, but yet, not to know was becoming
more painful every day.
“How close did you and Buffy
get?”
“What do you mean?” Angel
asked, turning around so that he was facing the ocean again.
“You know exactly what I
mean.”
“Spike, some things maybe
you shouldn’t ask,” Wesley said. “I don’t think I could handle certain details
about Faith’s past.”
“Yeah,” Spike said, laughing
derisively. “If I could put it behind me, maybe it would work, but it’s always
there and my imagination is constantly mocking me.”
It was a big confession but
Spike had decided that it was time for taking risks. He knew he shouldn’t
wonder, and he didn’t want to, but sometimes holding Buffy he would worry that
she was comparing him to Angel. Comparing him and finding him lacking.
“Spike,” Angel said. “Buffy
loves you. Not me.” He stopped and sighed. “It’s something you need to ask her
not me if you really need to know.”
“I know,” Spike said, “It’s
just…”
“Sometimes when you’re
holding her and she seems to be somewhere else,” Wesley said. “You wonder who
and what she’s thinking about, but you’re too scared of the answer to ask.”
“Yeah, exactly,” Spike said,
nodding his head.
“You’re both fucking crazy,”
Angel said, angrily as he faced them. “The two of you should be kissing the
ground they’re walking on and doing everything you can to make sure they never
leave.”
“Oh, God, Angel,” Wesley
said. “I’m sorry. You’re right. That was pretty rude of us to be going on about
our lack of confidence when…”
“I was stupid enough to let
Cordelia go,” Angel said, draining his beer and putting the bottle on the
railing. “And this is where the guilt comes in.”
“Guilt for what?” Spike
asked.
“Guilt for being selfish,”
Angel said, running his hand over his face. “I’ve got a bad case of ‘be careful
what you wish for’ syndrome. I had all these responsibilities here. Kept
bitching to myself about it and now they’re all gone. It hurts like hell to
suddenly be responsible for no one.”
“Yeah, but they’ve all moved
on,” Spike said. “They’re all happy and that leaves you free to do what you
want. And it leaves them free from feeling guilty about holding you back.”
Angel nodded as he seemed to
mull over what Spike had said. Maybe it was what he had just said or the
restlessness that he had always sensed in Angel but Spike knew that there was
about to be another change in their lives.
“I’m going to speak with
personnel at the home office in
“You ready to leave home
behind?” Wesley asked.
“It’s like Spike said, I’m
free to do what I want now. The only thing I have left is my career and I may
as well give it everything I have. Start taking college correspondence courses
again to finish getting my degree. Keep my nose to the grindstone and move
where there is better chance at advancement.”
“Is it what you want?” Buffy
asked.
The men had been so intent
on their conversation that they hadn’t heard the girls open the door. They
turned to look at Buffy and Faith as they walked out to join them.
“Yeah, Buffy, it is,” Angel
said. “Its better I get out of your lives. Quit this thing of trying to take
care of everybody and let you live your lives. I’ll just have to leave these
two lists so that you and Faith have everything you want and need.”
“Like making sure she has
her Jujufruits at the movies,” Spike said.
“Yeah,” Angel said, holding
his arms open to the two women. They rushed to his embrace and he pulled them
close to him.
Spike hadn’t been wrong.
This change was going to have a profound impact on their lives. It meant that
Buffy would depend on him even more whether she would ever admit to it or not.
Her earlier question echoed through his mind as he watched Buffy’s face scrunch
up in grief. Would they make it? Spike knew he loved her and wanted to be with
her. Was he ready to make that permanent commitment? Did they have a chance to
make their relationship one that would last a lifetime? Spike sighed because it
was time for him to make some decisions and the sooner he made them the better
off they were.
to be continued…
