Chapter 34 – Beginnings and Ends
The three men alighted from
Emily’s car. Spike spoke with his cousin for a few moments about meeting up
with her later that afternoon. After establishing a time and place, Emily drove
off. Spike turned back to his companions, following their gaze to the sign that
hung on the building they were standing in front of.
Masters Shipping.
Angel was staring up at the
sign like he was trying to decide whether to go in or not. Spike knew so many
of his friend’s dreams hung on this moment. If he was sent away without being
able to transfer then it would crush him. It would also be embarrassing if he
had to return to
“Come on, mate,” Spike said,
putting his hand on Angel’s shoulder and squeezing it. “It won’t be so bad.”
“
Spike wrapped his arms
around Angel and blew kisses in the air around his cheek. “Oh, baby, I promise
it won’t hurt. Be a man for me, please.”
“Jerk,” Angel said, laughing
as he pushed Spike away. “Get off of me.”
Wesley was cracking up and
trying to act like he wasn’t with them. And in that moment Spike knew he really
belonged. He had considered them his friends for a long time. It was just that they
were Buffy’s first but that morning, laughing and horsing around, he felt they
were his friends no matter what. For a guy who had been a solitary child and
teenager it meant a lot.
Putting his shoulders back,
Angel cleared his throat. “Okay, I’m going to do this.”
For some reason they all
thought that was funny and broke out in laughter again. The door opened and
they turned to walk a little ways away hoping it wasn’t anyone they knew. Angel
didn’t need any confrontations or to have anyone think he didn’t take this
seriously. No one said anything to them and whoever it was walked off in the
other direction. It was time to get Angel through the front door.
“Come on, mate,” Spike said,
turning Angel toward the door. “Let’s do this.”
Spike instantly regretted
his choice of words.
“Oh, yeah, let’s go,” Angel
said, pulling Spike to him. “I’ve always had a thing for little blondes.”
“Oh, good god,” Wesley said,
walking away. “Get a frickin’ room.”
“Angel, Spike, is that you?”
Busted.
The two men who were still
entangled jumped apart at the sound of their captain’s voice behind them. Embarrassed,
they turned around to face him as Wesley returned to stand beside them. It
seemed if one was going down then they all were.
“Uh, hi, Captain Roberts,”
Angel stammered out. “It’s good to see you.”
“Wasn’t interrupting
anything important was I?” Captain Roberts asked, smirking. “I mean if you’d
like for me to leave you alone, I can.”
“Oh, no sir, we were just
fooling…I mean…” Angel stopped. His eyes closed and he swallowed before looking
back at his captain. “Sorry, sir, we were just joking around. I was going in to
the personnel office like I had discussed with you.”
“Its okay, Angel,” Captain
Roberts said, laughing. “I’ve seen worse out of you guys at sea.” He clapped
Angel on the back. “Let’s go in, shall we? I’ve got a meeting with Mr. Masters
and I can introduce the two of you.”
“Thank you,” Angel said, his
face lighting up in excitement. “I appreciate it.”
Spike exchanged glances with
Wesley. They knew that Captain Roberts had been spending a lot of time with
Angel, mentoring him, and encouraging his interest of one day having his own
ship. It was an honor that he felt that Angel was good enough to introduce to
the CEO and owner of the shipping company. It was a meeting that could make or
break Angel’s career with this firm.
The two men made their way
toward the entrance while Spike and Wesley stayed where they were. They had
come along just to make sure Angel got through the door but were going to wait
for him at a diner down the street. Captain Roberts turned back to them and
gestured for them to follow.
“Come on, boys. This is a
family oriented company and it’ll be a good impression that Angel’s crew
supports his plans.”
Dutifully and on their best
behavior they followed their captain through the door that prior had been such
a barrier. Captain Roberts nodded to the receptionist and made his way into the
labyrinth of the executive wing. A few turns and they stopped outside a set of
double doors on which a sign announced that it was Mr. Masters’ office. Angel
glanced back at his friends and Spike could see the nervousness in his eyes. He
gave a thumbs signal before they all made their way into the inner sanctum.
“Ah, Joss,” an older
gentlemen said, straightening from what had to be his assistant’s desk. He
approached the group with a smile on. “Good to see you, old friend.”
The two men shook hands then
Captain Roberts stepped back to introduce the three friends leaving Angel for
last.
“And this is my third mate,
Angel,” Captain Roberts said. “He’s decided he wants to be in charge of one of
your ships.”
“Hello, Angel,” Mr. Masters
said, reaching out to shake his hand. “So, you think you’ve got what it takes
to be a captain?”
“I’m going to do everything
I can to ensure that I do,” Angel said.
“You might make it after
all,” Mr. Masters said, laughing. “So, if Joss here doesn’t mind, would you
like to join us for lunch? We can talk some more.”
Captain Roberts quickly
added his acquiesce to the plan and Angel agreed. The invitation was extended
to Wesley and Spike also.
“Might behoove me to find
out what kind of friends you hang out with,” Mr. Masters said. “A man is often
judged by the company he keeps.” He turned and spoke to the young woman sitting
behind the desk and asked her to change the reservation to include them all.
“Now if my daughter would hurry up.”
“I’m right here, Daddy.”
A smile lit up Mr. Masters’
face as he turned toward the young woman who had stepped out of his private
office. He put his arm around her waist and drew her closer to the others.
“Allow me to introduce my
daughter to you gentlemen,” Mr. Masters said, obviously proud of the young
woman. “This is Darla and Darla this is William,” he pointed to Spike then
continued to Wesley. “And this is Angel.”
“Hello, gentlemen,” Darla
said. She shook hands with them and like her father saved Angel for last. Her
eyes and face lit up with a smile as she studied the young man whose hand she
held a little longer than necessary. “Did I hear correctly that they are
joining us for lunch?”
“If that’s all right,” Angel
asked, unable to take his eyes from the petite blonde.
“Of course it is,” Darla
said, wrapping her hand around Angel’s arm. “I think it’s a lovely idea. Shall
we go?”
She turned back to smile at
her father as she and Angel started to walk toward the door. It was apparent
that she usually got what she wanted from her father and it was obvious to
Spike that she wanted Angel. He smiled at his friend’s retreating back and
contemplated how strange life could be. A few weeks ago Angel had thought his
life was a failure and in one morning it had changed. It seemed Angel would
have a shot at the dreams he wanted. For some reason he couldn’t pinpoint,
Spike was oddly satisfied at that thought.
~~~~~~~~~
Buffy moved with purpose
across the quad. Her eyes never wavered from her quarry. Riley. It was time to
tie up loose ends and set the record straight. She hoped in the end they could
still be friends but if he couldn’t handle it then that was okay too. Her life
had other priorities now.
“Hey,” Buffy said when she
came closer to where he was sitting at a patio table. She took a seat across
from him and deposited her backpack on the ground next to her. “Can we talk?”
“Not much to say,” Riley
replied, barely glancing up from the text book he was reading. “I think it was
made pretty plain the other day.”
“Oh, really? I thought there
was a lot of confusion.”
“I heard you moved in with
him,” Riley said. “It seems to me that settles everything.”
It was as bad as when she
was in a relationship with him. Every detail needed to be pulled out of him a
little bit at a time. Buffy sighed and reached over to cover his book with her
hand. Hopefully, he would at least pay attention to her.
“Does it?” Buffy asked. She
waited until he looked up at her before continuing. “You said you wanted to be
friends. Was that a lie? Or was it just a way to get back into my life?”
Riley finally looked up at
her with the pain he was feeling evident in his eyes. He shook his head and
looked somewhere over her shoulder.
“I don’t know if I can be
your friend, Buffy. I thought maybe I could but the more I’m around you the
more I remember the way it used to be.”
“All of it?” Buffy asked
gently. “Or are you just remembering when it was good? Do you remember the
things you told me? The fights? The fact that we let each other down?”
His hands covered hers that
was still on his book, caressing the back of her hand with his thumb.
“Do you remember, Buffy? The
parties we’d go to on the beach? The driving down to
“Yeah, I remember,” Buffy
said, pulling her hand away. “And I know now that’s not what makes a
relationship good. Its two people taking care of each other. It’s fighting
until you find a way to compromise instead of shutting down and hurting each
other. It’s making love responsibly without fear of the consequences because
you know the other person is going to be there. And that’s what I’ve found with
Spike.”
“So, are you trying to tell
me that you’ve grown up and I haven’t because I still want to have fun instead
of being tied down?”
“No, Riley,” Buffy said. She
stood, picked up her backpack and walked around the table. She leaned down and
kissed his cheek. “I’m saying that we’re still going in opposite directions and
I like the way I’m going too much to change. I wish you all the best of luck.”
Her heart was suddenly freer
than it had ever been as she turned and walked away. It was over and she
realized that there was only room for Spike in her heart.
~~~~~~~~~
It was wrong. It wasn’t
supposed to be this way.
Spike rolled over in the bed
pushing pillows onto the floor as he searched for something to hold onto. Sweat
soaked through the sheets as the nightmare gripped him.
Everything was spinning
around him. Memories of Drusilla that he had tried to forget flashed through
his mind. He moaned as she spun in front of him, a vixen dancing so close to
his still so innocent body. Still so young, so shy, he hadn’t been able to
resist the beauty so determined to take him home. There had been no turning
back from the first night. He didn’t want to. Always the wallflower, the power
of the sex and drugs was too intoxicating to walk away from.
There in his dream she came
to him. Whispering to him to return to her and to the life they had. She made
fun of his efforts to change to be a better man. Did he really think that
someone like Buffy could love him? She asked him to choose which life he
wanted. Didn’t he know that he would fail? He was playing a part with the
others. They would never really accept someone like him. After all he had never
told them the truth of who he was. How could the silly girl love him when she
didn’t know everything?
His mind rushed forward to
the last Christmas with Emily. The spiders he had seen crawling along the walls
and his screams for someone to get them off. The laughter he couldn’t stop even
when Larry had turned the hose on him to try and sober him up. The devastating
loss he had felt until a line of coke and the heat of Drusilla’s body had made
it all go away.
Spike rolled and thrashed as
he tried to find his way out of the past. He didn’t want to be there anymore.
Someone was calling to him and he cried in relief when he heard Buffy’s voice.
I believe, I believe, I really do believe.
Clinging to the sound he
fought his way back to the surface. Sitting up, he wiped the tears from his
eyes and hoped his heart would slow down before it burst from his chest. He was
safe. His time with Drusilla was gone. He had found a place that he belonged
and was loved. Spike glanced at the clock. It was
“Hello, blondes are us,”
Buffy’s voice came to him.
“Yeah, really?”
“Spike, where are you? What
time is it? Is everything all right?”
“Slow down, pet. It’s the
middle of the night here and I’m at Emily’s. The cousin I told you about.”
Spike said then briefly explained about the reunion including the sightseeing
tour they had taken Angel and Wesley on that afternoon. He ended with the extra
night they had gotten because of maintenance on the ship.
“I’m jealous,” Buffy said.
“I want to be with you.”
“I know, Luv,” Spike said,
drawing his knees up and resting his forehead on them. “I miss you so much.”
“Are you all right?”
The concern in Buffy’s voice
brought the tears to his eyes again and he damned the night for its ability to
cut through his soul.
“I am now that I’m talking
to you.”
“I love you so much,” Buffy
said. “I wish I was there to hold you and make everything better.”
“Me too,” Spike said. “I’ve
got good news though. Might make things better.”
“What’s that? Better not be
getting my hopes up for nothing.”
He laughed at the small
growl that hid behind her words. She was his strong, independent Buffy who
never clung to him as she begged for all of his attention. He realized he had
lied when he had told her that Drusilla had taught him about being a man. It
had been Buffy with her innocent touches that had shown him what making love
could really be. The kind of sex where two hearts and souls joined together and
the purest pleasure was just lying together, body to body.
“I think I’ve found a way to
live in the States legally.”
“What? How?” Buffy squealed.
“Come on.”
“It’s an exchange. Wes and I
went with Angel down to the shipping office. Our captain was there and he took
us to lunch with Mr. Masters. He’s the guy who owns the company.”
“Well, la de da,” Buffy
joked. “Are you still going to want me after hanging out with the elite?”
“I will always want you,
baby,” Spike professed, listening for the soft sigh that she gave when she was
happy. “But listen. They are going to help us.
“Oh, you are so going to get
it when you get back home.”
Her emphasis on ‘it’ let him
know what exactly she was talking about. It wasn’t trouble or a fight, he noted
with a smile. His eyes closed as he remembered her riding him in the bathtub
and felt himself growing hard. All he wanted was to be with her.
“You can have it all you
want,” Spike teased. “I’m ready for you right now.”
Buffy laughed. “Me too,” her
voice dropping with the emotions she was feeling. Everything was all right
again. The woman he loved was still waiting for him. The life he wanted was
within his grasp. They spent the next few minutes talking about their dreams
and what they were going to do when he got home. He hung up the phone with a
sense of hope in his heart. It had been a long time since he had felt this free
and he couldn’t wait to begin his life with Buffy.
to be continued…
