Chapter 42 – Dreaming
For years it had been a habit
to go outside to have his first smoke of the day. Now his fingers just itched
because there was nothing there. Spike sighed, shifting in the lounger, as he
gazed out on the wide expanse of the Pacific. His confinement in the hospital
had rendered him unable to indulge his habit. Now that he was home, he didn’t
want to start up again so he made a mental note to have Buffy pick up the
patch. They had eased his cravings while he was confined and he hoped they
would help him over the worst of it.
It was another adjustment in
the life he wanted to make with Buffy.
“Here’s breakfast,” Buffy
said, cheerily as she put the tray down on the small table beside him.
“Looks good,” Spike said,
eyeing the platter filled with cut-up fresh fruit and bagels smeared with cream
cheese. He held his arms out to Buffy before she could sit in the chair across
from him. “No hanky panky I promise, just want to hold you.”
Buffy settled across his
lap, her bottom on one side of his legs and her feet on the other side. She
reached for a bagel half, handed it to him then took one for herself. Her hair,
still damp from her shower tickled at his fingers as he ran his hand across her
back.
“Thank you for everything,
pet.”
“You don’t have to thank
me,” Buffy said. “It’s what I wanted to do.”
“Not just thanking you for
what you’ve done since the accident,” Spike said, shaking his head. He dropped
his bagel back on the plate. “For believing since the beginning, in me, in us,
for the life we’re building.”
“I love you, Spike,” Buffy
said, gazing at him with conviction filling the depths of her emerald eyes. “I
have since the beginning…,” she laughed. “Not quite the beginning but that
first night. You stood up for me, you took care of me. It’s not something I’m
used to but I feel safe with you.”
“Nobody’s ever believed in
me the way you do, Luv,” Spike said softly. “I want you to know they weren’t
just words said in the heat of the moment. You make me feel like a man, make me
want to be a man…make me want to give you the world.”
“I just want you,” Buffy
said.
“I know that, too,” Spike
said, smiling. “My little Miss Independent.”
She beamed at him. There was
nothing as beautiful as when Buffy smiled. She lit up from the inside making him
want to do anything he could to keep her happy.
He swallowed.
Everything inside told him it
was time. He had thought about taking her out for a fancy dinner or something
else romantic but he didn’t want to wait until he was fully recuperated. He glanced
down at the ring on her finger. Her body tensed when she followed his gaze, but
she continued to eat her bagel.
“Remember the last time I
was here,” Spike said, returning his eyes to her face. May as well just jump into this and hope I don’t bugger it up. “You
asked me if I thought we’d make it.”
“Yeah,” Buffy whispered. She
put the bagel down and sucked cream cheese from her finger. “I remember.”
“So, what do you think we’ll
be doing in twenty years?” Spike asked, mentally kicking himself because he
knew he should have rehearsed this. The happiness that had been so pervasive a
few moments ago was being replaced by worry. In his nervousness he threw out
the first thought he latched onto. “I mean do you think we’ll still be living in
this house?”
Stupid fool…just tell her how you feel and what you
want.
“No,” Buffy said, shaking
her head. She closed her eyes for a second then met his bravely. “There’s no
back yard for our kids to play in.”
Spike could hear the
challenge in them. If he mucked this up then he would probably lose her
completely. Giving himself a chance to figure out how to say what he wanted, he
glanced around at their surroundings. It clicked that she was right. The
verandah went directly onto the beach leaving no place for children to really
play. No place for a swing set either. He’d always envisioned having a large
backyard covered in perfect, even grass. There would be the swing set and a
hammock, a place for the kids to play and a dog to run. This house couldn’t
provide that.
“You’re right,” Spike said,
smiling. “The suburbs it will be so we can have a yard for the kids. You up for
a dog?”
“A dog,” Buffy said,
giggling as she got into his game. “I guess we’ll have SUVs or minivans by then.”
“How about a cat and a
really big bathtub for us?”
“Oh, definitely,” She said.
“And for the holidays the family can come to us.”
“I’m cooking,” Spike
laughed.
“You won’t hear me argue
about that,” Buffy said, then snapped her fingers, “And oh yeah, I want…”
~~~~~~~~
20 years later
The heat from the oven
blasted onto Spike’s face making him draw back. He waited for a moment before
dipping the baster into the juices from the turkey he was cooking. Over the
years he had gotten into the American holiday of Thanksgiving as much as Buffy did.
It was always good to have everyone over for the day.
He felt a hand cupping his
ass, rubbing it, before fingers slipped into his back pocket. The rush between
them hadn’t faded over the years. He straightened up, threw the oven mitt on
the counter, and then turned to his wife. She was still as beautiful as the day
he had met her.
“Come here, Luv,” Spike
growled, wrapping his arms around her. She managed only a tiny squeak before
his lips descended on hers. His tongue slipped into her mouth enjoying the
taste of her.
“Oh, my god,” Dawn, their
sixteen year old daughter yelped. “I’m sitting right here. Do you two have to
do that?”
Grinning, Spike broke the
kiss and looked over at Dawn. “How the hell do you think we got you?”
“Eew, scar me much?”
He laughed at their only
child. They had wanted more but the fates had decided otherwise. So, all their
attention had been lavished on the tiny daughter who had to fight to live after
being born prematurely. Somewhere in the house were their two dogs and one cat
that completed their immediate family.
It’s a good life we have, Spike thought as he rocked Buffy in his arms and
contemplated the time between their first year and this one.
There had been a lot of
struggles in the first few years, including a few months of separation when it
had become too difficult for them to hold everything and each other together.
Eventually their love had reunited them again and they had finally married four
years after they met.
He was the marketing
director for Masters Shipping after
working his way up from a college attending intern. Buffy had found that
running a restaurant was something that she loved. A few years after signing on
to help Arnie; she had started to invest in The Edge until she was an owner of
forty-nine percent. Their house was a large two-story Tudor on a quiet
cul-de-sac not far from where the O’Connor’s once lived. Angel’s parents had
retired to
Their lives couldn’t exactly
be described as exciting but they had each other. It was something they had
learned was a precious gift. To be cherished, fought for and given their top
priority. They had been blessed with having their families close except for Emily
and Larry who they had maintained close contact with. And most of their
friendships had stood the test of time.
Xander and Anya had broken
up shortly before their planned nuptials. Xander was working as a crew boss on
a ship that was currently sailing the Orient. Anya had moved to
Angel was still their
closest friend even though he lived in
“Connor…ohmigod,” Dawn
squealed. “They’re here.”
Dawn took off running,
separating her parents as she made a mad dash toward the back stairs.
“Where the bloody hell are
you going?” Spike asked, grabbing her hand. “I thought you were waiting for
them.”
Buffy laughed and slapped
gently at his hand. “Let her go.”
“Why?”
“Daddy, he can’t know I was
waiting,” Dawn whined and flashed him a standard ‘parents are so dumb’ look.
“It would be obvious.”
Footsteps at the backdoor
sent Dawn into a tailspin. She yanked her hand away and darted up the stairs.
Spike watched her leave then turned to Buffy.
“That makes no sense.”
“Yes, it does,” Buffy said,
kissing him quickly. “She’s sixteen.”
Giving up, Spike headed for
the back door to let their friends in. Later that day as he was surrounded by people
he loved, Spike could only be thankful that he had found the courage to open
his heart all those years ago…
~~~~~~~~
“…a huge bed,” Buffy
finished, with a sigh. She smiled at
Spike. “I have this tendency to fall on my face when we’re having sex. Maybe if
the bed is big enough then I’ll be safe.”
“Yeah, but your butt is so
cute when it’s swaying in the wind.”
She swatted him playfully
before reaching over to get a piece of cantaloupe. It was great to play make
believe but it wasn’t real. Every sign was there that he wanted them to make a
full commitment. Besides this game was the fact that he was telling her that he
loved her, he had gone along when Lorne had assumed they were engaged, and the
conversation they had the day before.
You’re mine.
Those two little words had
sent a thrill through her. She knew he belonged to her but she wanted to hear
the words. For Spike to say that he wasn’t holding onto any more doubts. His
gaze had returned to her hand.
“So, you’ve decided we’ll
still be together in twenty years?” Buffy asked, prodding him a little. They
hadn’t gotten this far without her doing it, what was a little more?
“Yeah,” Spike said. “I think
so.” He glanced up at her then back to the ring. “Do you like it, pet?” He
nodded toward it.
“It’s beautiful,” Buffy
said, holding your hand out so it sparkled in the morning sun. “Angel said it
was your grandmother’s.”
“She wore it for almost
sixty years. From the day he proposed to the day she died.”
“They must have loved each
other very much.”
“They did,” Spike agreed,
letting his head fall back on the lounger. “I didn’t really have a plan yet for
giving it to you.” He laughed. “Or when…”
Tears stung Buffy’s eyes as
she cut him off. “Do you want me to take it off?”
“Yeah…”
In that fraction of a second
that Spike paused, Buffy’s heart was on the edge of shattering. That one tiny
word bore the power of a tornado thundering down upon one small sapling. All of
her hopes fluttered wildly in the oncoming destruction of her dreams. Her foot
dangled off the edge of the lounger in preparation for her flight from the pain
that was coming.
“But knowing my hands right
now I’m afraid I’d drop it,” Spike said, laughing. Blind to the terror he had
given her. “It would roll off into the sand and we’d never find it so I could
put it back on you properly.”
Her hand closed in a
protective gesture to hold onto the ring. She turned to look up at Spike as the
first few tears began to fall.
“You mean…?” Buffy sniffled.
“Oh, Luv,” Spike said, his
eyes widening. “You didn’t think that I was going to take it back, did you?”
She nodded. “Come here.” He held his arms wide, waiting until she snuggled into
him before closing them around her. “I love you, Buffy Anne Summers.” He kissed
the top of her head. “I’m not afraid to say that anymore. You made me believe
again.” He sighed softly. “I just wanted to take you out when the time was
right. Make you feel really special then pop the question. Figured that way you
wouldn’t say no.”
His words were a healing
balm to her remaining fears. It was what she had been waiting to hear for so
long.
“I wouldn’t say no…” Buffy
said softly.
“So, we’re going to do
this?”
“Do what?” Buffy sat up with
a mischievous smile on her face. She wasn’t going to let him off the hook. Not
now. Not after almost destroying her.
“Shag?” Spike asked, trying to maintain a serious face.
“It’s been almost six hours since the last time.”
“Bastard,” Buffy declared,
crossing her arms. “If you keep teasing me and beating around the bush, you’ll
never get…shagged again.”
“Oh,” Spike said, letting
his brows furrow. “Hmm, you know my memory is shot these days…oh, I know, we’re
supposed to go shopping, right?”
“Ooooh,
you are getting in so much trouble.”
“That wasn’t it, was it?”
Spike asked with a dramatic sigh. “I’m so confused. Am I supposed to…?”
Fed up with him playing,
Buffy started tickling him. Her fingers danced along his rib cage until he was
laughing uncontrollably. He kept trying to push her away but couldn’t do it.
The back of the lounger fell back so that Spike was lying prone with Buffy on
top of him.
“Stop it, pet, stop it,”
Spike pleaded. “I’m going to piss my pants.”
“I don’t care, you’re mean,
and horrible, and rotten, and…and…”
“Will you marry me?”
Buffy froze. Shook her head
and looked down at him. Spike smiled up at her with his hands resting on her
hips while she leaned on his chest.
“What?”
“Pet, I can’t promise you a
perfect life but I can promise you that I’ll try with all my heart. I don’t
want to ever face another day of being without you. Will you spend your life
with me? Be my wife?”
“Yes…yes…yes,” Buffy said,
not giving him a chance to back out. She shifted until they were lying face to
face. She started to kiss him between words. “I love you…love you…so much…you’re perfect.”
Spike decided that listening
to his mother had been a good idea. It did pay to go a lady’s aid. He had and
it had led him to a woman that would love him with an undying, unconditional
love.
Buffy truly was his lady,
his lover and his life.
~~~The End~~~
