Chapter 7 – The Truth

 

 

It couldn’t be happening but it was.

 

The bastard just walked out of her bedroom, down the hall and right into her living room. Buffy threw her pillow at the door and wanted to scream for him to get the hell out of her house. But she didn’t. She stood there; fists clenched at her side and listened to him make small talk with her parents including an apology for being there. She didn’t make a peep until she heard the front door close and then the storm broke.

 

Buffy hurled herself on her bed. The tears came in loud, gulping sobs as she faced that another man she cared about had been unfaithful. Why didn’t he see that she would have had sex with him? He didn’t have to go to anyone else. What was wrong with her that drove men away? Angel and all the guys said she was beautiful. Almost every night someone tried to pick her up at the bar but when it came to relationships they didn’t want her. If her life continued like this she was going to die a virgin.

 

“Buffy, honey,” Joyce said, rolling into her room. She stopped by the bed and placed a hand on Buffy’s back. “What happened?”

 

“He cheated on me,” Buffy cried. “He slept with someone else while he was gone.”

 

The consoling words didn’t come. Only silence greeted her words and Buffy peeked out to see if her mother had even heard her. She needed comforting words from her mommy and she wasn’t getting them. She watched in disbelief as Joyce picked up the Brides magazine and thumbed through it.

 

“Mom, did you not hear me?” Buffy asked, sitting up. “He cheated on me…”

 

Her mother looked her in the eyes. “He didn’t cheat on you.”

 

“Excuse me?” Buffy asked, clutching her other pillow to her chest defensively. “What would you call it?”

 

“What did he cheat on?” Joyce asked. “Did he tell you that he wanted exclusive dating rights before he left? Were you in a relationship? Did he make promises to you?”

 

When it was put like that, Buffy realized that maybe Spike wasn’t entirely wrong. Finding out that he’d been with another woman had taken her back to that awful afternoon when Riley told her he’d been with Faith. All the pain had come back with a vengeance but it wasn’t really justified. She sniffed and decided that he was still a creep for doing it but not as much of a bastard as Riley was.

 

“No, he didn’t,” Buffy said, conceding to her mother’s logic. “It still hurts that he was with someone else especially when I’ve been waiting for him to come back.”

 

“I know it does,” Joyce hesitated, “but he didn’t ask you to wait. That was your decision,” she waved at the magazine still in her lap. “You built a huge fantasy out of someone you barely knew instead of letting a relationship develop naturally.”

 

Buffy grabbed the magazine and tossed in the trash. That stupid magazine had been nothing but trouble. She knew how she felt. And she…well, she liked Spike a lot.

 

“You said you knew Daddy was the one the first time you saw him,” Buffy said, trying to cover her doubts. She didn’t want to be wrong again. “And I know Spike is the one.”

 

Joyce gave a patented parent look; the one that showed compassion for the child that was going over the deep end. “Yes, I knew but it took months before we were ready to think about even having a serious relationship. And you’re planning a wedding with someone you’ve only spent, what twenty-fours with, if even that much.”

 

“Forgive me for wanting to be in a relationship,” Buffy said, throwing her arms wide. “I like him.”

 

“Like him, not love him,” Joyce said. “I think you’re overreacting to a sexual attraction to the man.”

 

“Mother!”

 

“Don’t mother me. You know I’m right,” Joyce said, shaking her head. “You should’ve lost your virginity to Angel in high school.”

 

“I am so not having this conversation,” Buffy groaned, standing up. She began to pace the room. “Angel and I weren’t ready…”

 

“He was and so were you but Angel has this need to keep you at fourteen forever. If the two of had done it then I don’t think you’d be having this misunderstanding now. Losing your virginity has been built up into this huge romantic scenario that has to lead to marriage.”

 

Buffy flopped back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Her mother was right. She was the last one of her friends to become sexually active. Everybody talked about and dissected her still intact hymen. They had all decided that after Riley that it could only be given to someone who truly loved her. And she had followed along with it. If she hadn’t been a virgin, Spike probably would have been all over her trying to get her into bed and she would have pushed him away. It was the fact that he was respectful of her status that had fueled her fantasies.

 

“So, now what? Do I just fall into bed with him and get it over with?”

 

“I think the first thing you need to ask yourself is, do you like the real Spike or are you seeing him through rose colored glasses?”

 

“And if I do like him?” Buffy asked rolling on her side to hold her mother’s hand.

 

“Get to know him. Spend time with him and let things develop. If and when the time is right, you’ll know it.”

 

Buffy laughed. “My mother is telling me to get laid.”

 

“No, I’m telling you get real,” Joyce said, turning her chair around to head out the door. “I think you need to find him and talk to him because even if you’re not sure, I like the man. He’s honest when he doesn’t have to be and that’s a rare trait.”

 

Buffy stared as her mother wheeled out of the room. She thought about Spike being with someone else and it still hurt because she did like him. She just realized now that maybe he didn’t deserve the fallout from her past relationship. He deserved the chance to be heard and she owed him an apology for going hysterical on him. It wasn’t going to be fun to eat crow but it wouldn’t be the first time. She reached for the phone and dialed Angel’s house.

 

“Hello,” Angel said,

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hold on, sweetheart,” Angel said and she knew from the sounds that he was leaving whatever room he’d been in. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah, my egos a little bent but I’m still on the train,” Buffy said, cuddling up to her pillows. “I take it you know everything.”

 

“I’m Angel, of course I do.”

 

They shared a brief laugh before Buffy took a deep breath for courage. “I need to talk to him. Is he there?”

 

“Uh, yeah he is but I think you need to give him a little space.”

 

Buffy pulled the phone away from her ear and shook it. She couldn’t have heard right. Scrunching up her nose, she returned it to its favorite spot next to her ear.

 

“Are you protecting him from me?”

”He’s not feeling too good after last night and then this morning. He’s miserable and we’ve been talking.”

 

Now she felt like she had landed on a gender reversed planet. Angel was coddling the man she wanted to be her boyfriend. It was just too freaky for words.

 

“Angel, do you have a crush on him?”

 

“What the hell kind of question is that?” Angel exploded. “Why is everyone questioning my sexual orientation? I’m straight, damn it; ask Cordelia if you don’t believe me. The girl can barely walk this morning.”

 

“Eew didn’t want to hear that,” Buffy squealed. She closed her eyes for a second to refocus her thoughts on her problems.  “I thought you were my best friend. Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

 

“Well, I am on your side. It’s just the guy has no family or friends around and you have a whole herd of us so I was trying to help him out by listening to him.”

 

“What did he say about me?”

 

Angel was her best friend and if he knew anything then he should spill to her. And the more she knew the better her chances of landing Spike. It was really simple except she hadn’t counted on male bonding clauses.

 

“I can’t tell you anything. It wouldn’t be right to betray his confidence.”

 

She was fuming now. Everyone had turned on her today. Spike told her he had been with someone else, her mother told her she was fantasizing too much and Angel was taking the rat’s side. Wasn’t there anyone who wanted to be sympathetic to the injured party? What had she done except want to love the guy? Was that a crime?

 

“Go to hell, Angel.”

 

“You stab me through the heart,” Angel gasped.

 

“Whatever.” No sympathy was going to come from her. He was a traitor to their years of friendship. “So, at any point am I going to get past your defense line and be able to talk to him?”

 

“Are you going to play nice or make him feel worse than he already does?”

 

“Oh, my God,” Buffy yelled. “You are a certified jerk. All I want is to tell him that I was wrong for overreacting but if that’s too much then…”

 

“Calm down,” Angel growled. “Look my parents went on one of their little trips so, its party time at the O’Connor residence. Get your bathing suit on and come over but be friendly not pushy. Give him space and let him know you’re not mad at him.”

 

“I’ll try not to scare him,” Buffy snapped. She was ready to give up. This was ridiculous.

 

“That advice was for you,” Angel said softly. “He’s going to bolt at the first sign of a property stamp.”

 

Oh. Angel was going to help her out. He must like Spike. She smiled. It had to be fate if her mother and best friend both liked him. She knew the fantasy was building again and she didn’t try to fight it. It felt good to be falling and she wanted to enjoy every moment of it.

 

It didn’t take her long to get ready. A quick shower, a shave of all essential places, slathering of sun block, one black bikini with shorts and she was on her way. The O’Connor house wasn’t that far away. It was in a new subdivision that was built during the brief tourist boom of a few years ago. The pool was in a courtyard which was accessible from the master bedroom, the main living room and the kitchen. Angel’s had become the gathering place when everyone was in town and his parents never seemed to mind the crowd of young people.

 

Angel opened the door for her before she even had a chance to knock.

 

“Waiting for me?” Buffy asked, walking by him and into the house.

 

“Yeah,” Angel said, looking her over. “Did you have to come half naked?”

 

Buffy arched a brow at him. “You did say wear a bathing suit? I don’t own a one-piece. You know that.”

 

Angel sighed and rolled his eyes. “Go put a t-shirt on or something. No one has started to strip down yet and you look…well, obvious.”

 

“Fine, you know my wardrobe,” Buffy said, heading for his bedroom. “Why didn’t you just tell me what to wear?”

 

“Because I thought you were smarter than that,” Angel muttered.

 

“I heard that,” Buffy said over her shoulder. “I’m going to get a drink before I head out.”

 

“Fine,” Angel said. “Hurry up. We’re all on the patio.”

 

Left alone, Buffy grabbed a shirt from Angel’s dresser and headed back toward the kitchen. She made it halfway across the foyer before she heard voices in the kitchen. Faith and Cordelia were talking about her and she stopped to listen. Buffy knew it wasn’t good to eavesdrop but Faith was never on her side and Cordelia could flip-flop according to the situation. And as far as she was concerned the more she knew the better off she was.

 

“So, dish, Faith,” Cordelia said. “What did Spike say about her?”

 

“It sounded just like a break up speech,” Faith said, laughing. “She’s a nice girl and she’s really sweet. I like her a lot but, and here comes the breaker, but I don’t want the burden of taking her virginity.”

 

“Whoa and what did Angel say to that?”

 

The blender turned on and Buffy took a step closer, flattening herself against the wall where they couldn’t see her.

 

Yeah, so come on. What did Angel say?

 

“Angel pretty much said not to date her then and Spike didn’t seem to have a problem with it,” Faith said. The blender turned off. “Hand me the glasses. Yep, little Buffy isn’t going to be able to hold on him and what a shame that’s he’s staying here. Faith may have to take care of all his needs.”

 

The two girls laughed unaware that Buffy had heard. Her emotions were going into overdrive with the rollercoaster ride they’d been having all day. For the first time in her life she really hated that she hadn’t been like her friends and just lost control in high school. A part of her wanted to be juvenile and give it to the first man who offered just so she could say she’d done it. But she wanted her first time to be special and she wanted Spike to be the one to take it. Her mind developed and discarded plans at an alarming rate.

 

She accepted the fact that she’d been too available and hadn’t offered a challenge to him. Spike knew all he had to do was crook his little finger and she’d capitulate to whatever he wanted. Hell, she’d even taken him home and let him sleep in her bed. Maybe he needed to be reminded that she wasn’t that innocent. And he definitely needed the message that she wasn’t just waiting on him. A little jealousy might be just what the doctor ordered.

 

Now all she needed was a little wardrobe altering and she’d be set. The t-shirt was thrown on the couch and her shorts were undone. Buffy rolled them down until they were barely hanging on her hips. She glanced outside to see who was already there and was happy to see Parker. He’d been after her for months and his womanizing ass would serve her purposes just fine. She pasted on a smile and made her way out to the pool area.

 

to be continued…

Chapter 8
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