Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool? A: Floaties with a slashed baby
Q: What's red and sits in a highchair? A: A baby eating razor-blades. .
Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A: A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q1: What's red and white and bubbles all over? Q2: What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window? Q3. What is brown and taps on a window? Q4: What's pink and red and bangs on the window ? Q5: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass?A: A baby in the microwave.
Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds? A: Dead baby in a carousel microwave!
(Q: What's blue and knocks on glass? A: A baby in a fishtank
Q: What is charred black and smells really bad? A1: A baby chewing on an extension cord.A2: A baby in the fireplace.
Q: How do you know when an elephant has been in the baby carriage? A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead! (damn elephants get into everything!)
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?A: It was stapled to the chicken. Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?A: Because it was stapled to the koala. Q: Why did the tree fall over?A: The koala never let go. Q: Why did the kangaroo die?A: Because the koala landed on it.
Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?A: A Doberman on a children's playground!
Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage can? A: Ten dead babies in a garbage can. Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can? A: One dead baby in a ten garbage cans. Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid? A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.---------- Q: What do you do with 4 dead babies and a sheet of glass? A: Make a coffee table.----------
Q: What's this? (hold arms out and shake them)A: A live one.
Q: How do you know when you hit a live one?A: The pitchfork shakes
Q: How do you find the live baby in a pile of dead ones?
A: Jab 'em all with a pitchfork.Q: What is worse than that?
A: At the bottom of the pile, there was one trying to eat its way out
Q. Whats more fun that spinning a baby on clothes line? A. Stopping it with a shovel.
Q: What's more fun that spinning a baby on a clothesline at 100MPH? A: Stopping it with a cricket bat (thwok)
Q: What's small, red, and can't turn around in corridors? A: A baby with a javelin through its head.
Q: How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? A: Stick a javelin through it's head.
Q: What's small, red and can't get into elevators? A: A baby with a javelin in it's head.
Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: What's red, sits in the front of mirror, and gets smaller and smaller? A: A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.
Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A: A baby with forks in its eyes.
Q: How do you stop a baby from looking up at you with that cute little baby face and gurgling happily with that little baby mouth and waving at you with those little baby fingers and little baby toes? A: Gouge its eyes out.
Q : Whats the worst thing a blind, deaf baby can get for Christmas ? A : Cancer
Q: What is the definition of revenge? A: A baby with a dingo in its mouth.
Q: What's the difference between a baby and a bagel? A: You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning? A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: What's more fun than a barrel of dead babies?A: Sticking pins in their eyes.
Did you know that it takes five babies to make just one bottle of baby oil?
A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense 12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy. Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked the delivery nurse carrying the baby boy .... SUDDENLY the nurse THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times and THROWS it against the wall.... Well, just bewildered, the woman gives out a loud SHREEEK and hollers MY GOD ..... WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BABY ?????? The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says... He was ALREADY DEAD !!!!!!!!!!or
A woman is lying in her hospital bed after an intense 12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy. When the baby is born, the nurse looks at the mother and says with a sad voice I am sorry, but your baby is stillborn. MAD with sorrow the mother THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up against the wall, picks it up and TWIRLS it around several times and THROWS it against the wall.... The Nurse chuckles a little to herself 'April Fools', she says... He wasn't DEAD !!!!!!!!!!----------
Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you.LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby.
