OK...Im sure we all have been in one of those relationships where we thought that everything was going great...not a care in the world, when one day... but not just any day...I mean one GREAT day...when you got to school/work on time, that part of your hair you always fight w/every morning finally laid down right, everyone is complimenting you on how good you look today (and you know you just threw some shit together and got dressed in about 5min)... Hell, you even found a $20 bill in the pocket of your pants that you forgot all about until now...things are just looking up and today YOU ARE IN THE ZONE!!!! When all of a sudden your significant other lets you know that you are not so significant to them anymore...WHAT THE FUCK!!! NOT TODAY!!! Come on...we've all been there...this is definately 'NOT' a soft crybaby song...
No, not another fucking relationship song...This one is a song dealing mainly with the scheme of not throwing you life down the toilet. Its about looking in the mirror at yourself and who/what you are or have become rather than just running away and hiding in a bottle, pipe, syringe...or whatever you use as a mask. If you can't quite ruining your life for yourself, at least do it for you parents. No, they may not be perfect, and no...they may have even taught you a few 'not so perfect'family values...but once you become aware of them, you no longer have that as a scapegoat for your actions. You are yourself and you are in control of the type of person you are, want to be, and how you portray yourself. We are all the audience in the theater of your life. Don't throw it all away. This is no way to pay Tribute.
Yes...Now another fucking relationship song...this one is about being used though. Its about that bitch/dic who never wanted you...just what you could do for them. Its' anger driven words are from the perspective felt throughout the 'get over it' stage following the break up, starting from the first thought of 'I wish you would die' and slowly maturing to the more positive (although still pissed) feelings of being more wiser, different, gaining back your self respect, and realizing you did not need that person as much as you thought they did...a real tear jerker I'm sure...
This song just has a wicked vibe to me from the first word: 'Welcome'. It is a 'all the shit I had to put up with in highschool'song for everybody. Its about this being a new age where we all look different and expands the idea of Stereotypical You. Not only are you your own person yet to be defined, but you may very well turn out to be someone who noone would expect you to become. The long haired hippy who just can't seem to let go of the 70's may become a congressman. The nerdy lil chic who you feel should hardly be refered to as a 'chic' do to her lack of femininity may become a super model on the cover of Vogue or a fortune One Hundred Company CEO making more money in a year than you'll make in a lifetime...she could even be your next boss. Hell, even the dude who got married and divorced before turning 18, moved out when he was 15, and devotes his ambitions toward being in a crazy fuckin metal band could end his days as a Psychology professor!! The point is... The children of today are the future of tomorrow and who they are now is just a part of what they will become. Don't judge them more than you guide them. Times are different. This isnt the 70's, 80's, or even the 90's anymore...it's a new mellinium...'Welcome to Generation XXX.'
This is a personal song about an issue I had w/someone I now consider a good friend. A few years ago when I had no direction, I thought about doing what many of us in music consider and running off to California to make it. I knew I wanted to go to school for something, so I read up and got info about going to MI, a music school in Hollywood Ca. The only diff. is, I worked hard, saved up a lil over $2000 and did it all by my lonesome...I couldnt get anyone to come w/me and I didnt wanna sell myself out on something I really wanted to do. I had a friend over there...a lil south of LA who was the only person I would know once I got over there for over 2000 miles. I told her about me coming out there and my plans of living near LA and going to that school. When I got out there, I nutted up and got a little scared/lonesome...I dunno which so I figured, since where she lived was only about an hour south of LA, I would get a place in or near the town she lived in that way I would be near at least SOMEONE I know...even if it was someone I only knew from the internet (we'd known each other at this time for about 2yrs). When I found a place and told her where I had moved to, her parents freaked and although she would never admit it...I think she did too. They thought I had stalked her over the internet. I proposed not calling her anymore and rather she call me so that things wouldnt get anymore wierd and needless to say, she quite calling me. I stayed there for only 4-5mths before I decided I wanted to go back to school for something other than music right now and figured it would be easier to do back home in Houston where I knew several people who could help me if I ever needed it and didnt think I was an internet stalker! Although I vowed...and still do today, that I am moving back out there as soon as I get my Bachelors degree...I took my own decision as a personal defeat, feeling that I was giving up by going back home and therefore placed the majority of the blaim on her, feeling if she would have been more understanding as a friend, I might not have 'given up'. I wrote this song kinda as a sinical and sarcastic way of expressing my anger at being called a 'stalker' so I put the words in the perspective of what a stalker might say about it. I have grown and realized that I moved back on decisions of my own and that there is noone to blaim...I didnt 'give up'. I am going back to CA as soon as I get my degree and my life will continue from there and that is my plan thus far...unless this band works out (fingers crossed) and that may change many of my plans. There, now you know. (I think I was more hurt about her feeling that way than anything else because I felt she knew me better than that. I have asked for great forgiveness and realize how strange that may have seemed to someone not knowing my intentions were pure. We are still friends and continue to chat through email from time to time.)
This song is about recognizing your capabilities and expanding your posibilities to reach your full potential..a true experience of transient exuberence with the aid of those around you. Once you reach a level of success, one can only wonder...'what if I tried a little harder.' It also encompasses all the stresses that go along w/reaching for success and all of the accidental 'freak outs'that might occur affecting those that are around you and bringing feelings of guilt you must learn to over come.
This is a song about self recognition of all ones' faults. Basically, its when a person reaches that point, where they show that they are willing to take responsibility for their actions. Many of lifes hardships are brought on by oneself and many times, that person holds the majority of the blaim for it happening to them. This is how I feel on many issues that have happened to me in the past. Sure, I can give you my tale of being down~n~out...a nice fuckin sob story of hardships that make many say "Damn that's fucked up"...but don't take it as I want you to feel sorry for me...just understand where Im comming from. From one standpoint, I think "if only I could go back and change that..." but from another..."if I did, would I be the same person I am today?" All the fucked up shit Ive been through has made me the man I am today and ya' know what?? I like who I am today... thats more than most people can say about themself... so....'Don't you Fuckin' feel sorry for me....I did this to myself!!!'
This song is a "What the fuck is my problem?" song. Sometimes I just sit around and think about shit until it gets on my nerves! It's almost as if I stress myself out worrying about shit that I can't do anything about...Geeze...Sometimes I get on my own fuckin nerves!!! This is a song about worrying too damned much!! "Quit worrying so much Josh!! Everything is gonna work out..."
Well guys...this is a song that's been long coming. I began writing this song shortly after the JacKnife 'break-up' and have finally sealed the deal on it. This song is basically a song of strength. To me it's about finding out the truth about those you once admired and looked up to and seeing that what you thought they were, they are not...that, just because you admired them for a strength and did your best to pattern yourself after that strength, then find out it was just a front of theirs...that it doesn't mean you should give up on what you have strived so hard to achieve...Just because they fell short of being what you wanted them to be, doesn't mean you should consider it hopeless and give up like they did...if they did.?? Who knows...maybe they're still struggling to reach that goal and are not sure how to get over the hurdles in their life. Either way you look at it... when your heros turn out to be less than you had hoped and possibly just flat out let you down... don't fall in the hole alongside them... They have just give you the idea of what you want to be, or 'Paved the Way' for the road you want to take in life...but it's up to you to follow the course through...
With this song, I was trying to get to the point of the changes one goes through in life... yes, of course I am speaking about my own changes, however I feel that one should recognize that although everyone changes in their own unique way through their own life experiences...that on a larger scale, we all go through a basic set of changes. Sometimes these changes happen so gradually that you do not realize them...while other times, they happen all at once... Then there is still other times when they happen gradually but you do not realize them until you wake up one day...several years later and realize..."I'm not the same person I use to be." Of course, these changes can be for the best or worst...but they happen. Over the past few years I've recognized many changes in my life and the lives of those around me... I am still the same 'basic' person however many of my thoughts, views, and beliefs have changed. I guess one could call it maturing...I don't know...all I know is I've nearly changed all of my old ways and I 'Feel' Different...I feel it when I talk with old friends and I feel it when I think of things to myself. Not only that, but I get the same vibe from many old friends... Friends I use to be close to have grown distant and many old acquantances have become close friends now. I am not saying that specifically is a change for the good or bad... I'm just noting that it has happened... and still yet, many times I get together with best friends of old and we recognize the changes together in bewilderment and try to answer the question to each other...'Why?' I dunno...we have just changed...'everything is different, and nothing remains the same,' I once wrote in a song, and it is still true. Everyday, is 'A New Day.'