The Closet
Daddy's mad again. He's screaming at mommy because my little sister got sick again. Shes in the hospital now, my little sister. We went to visit her before. I was mad they made me go. My teacher gave me my very first homework ever today, and i need mommy or daddy to help me with it. They said they cant because SHES sick. Mommy gave me a note to give to my teacher, 'cuz i didnt do my homework. They can't ever help me with the important stuff because they always have to be with HER.
Daddy's still screaming, so loud the house is shaking. I can hear the hangers rattling above me. All the coats are shaking and they keep touching me. When i was littler i thought the coats were monsters, all pokey and bad abd trying to get me. Now I can reach up and feel them. See? That one is my snowsuit, thats whats hitting me. And on the other side is daddys scarf, its messing up my hair. I can tell its his because it smells like him.
I cant see outside this closet but i know daddy's face is all red and i wonder if hes going to die because hes so mad. I dont want him to die. I know mommy is all white and crying again. Shes always afraid of daddy, more afraid when he yells like this.
But daddys nice, isnt he? He bought me ice cream at the hospital today, so i wouldnt be mad at him because of my very first homework. And on the ride home, he let me listen to his special tape, the one with the "daddys girl" song on it. Thats me right? Im daddys girl. Not HER. So why is daddy mad?
Daddy promised mommy he would let me help him in the basement this weekend. I dont like the basement. Bad things happen there. Daddy isnt nice to me when we're in the basement. Hes not my daddy anymore. He does bad things, things that hurt. Then i cry. If i cry, after he lets me draw on the walls. I draw happy pictures, as big as me, and after, sometimes, he paints on top of them. He never lets HER draw on the walls. He doesnt like HER to come down there.
WHACK!
What? What was that sound? Oh No! Mommys crying really hard now. Daddy hit mommy again. She doesnt like that. It hurt when someon hits you. Daddy must be really angry now. He only hits mommy when hes really very mad. I hope he doesnt hit me tonight. I dont like being hit.
Hes still yelling, and i can hear him calling for me. He cant find me in here, can he? The smell of the wool is choking me now. Daddy scares me when hes mad like this. I can taste the bad taste in my mouth now. It tastes like bad metal and salt from my tears. My nose is running but i cant fix it. If i make any noise, he'll find me. I hope he cant hear me crying, gasping, trying to breathe.
Hes getting closer now. I can hear him moving right outside the door to my safe world. Theres a light coming in under the door now. He know im here! I can see his feet under the crack!
Hes opening the door!
I can see him against the light. He looks so big, so scary. I can see his face but i know he hates me now! He looks like the monster from my bad dreams. Hes found me!
"NOOOOOOOO! DADDY NOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE...!!!!!!"
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