flame

the small flame enticed me, called to me. its power, its light, its warmth, event he lifeforce of it. i wanted to have that, to feel as alive as the fire looked.

slowly, it burns down the thin matchstick, caressing the wood before finally consuming it. the flame lowers itself, grazing my fingers before it finally sputters out. there is no mark on my fingers from the flames fiery kiss. but the feeling it imparts hints at so much more. just the slightest touch of pain but it reminds me of a time long ago when i was alive, before my heart turned to ice in my chest.

quickly striking another match, i light a small candle. the flame quickly spreads to the wick, eager to explore this new medium. it licks at the unfeeling wax, softening then finally melting it with its hot embrace. the pool of liquid is so still and tranquil it reminds me of a lake on a warm summersday. lifting the candle, i tilt it, watching as the wax falls onto me waiting hand. the heat warms my hand, leaving pain where my skin and the fresh wax meet. hardening, it melds with my skin and i violently rip off the cooled wax.

the pain delights me and i long for it to last. glancing at the small fire, i smile with a new delight. slowly my pale skin draws nearer to the dancing orange flame. the acrid smell remaining from the matches burns my nose, reminding me of the candle i never got ot blow out. fire had long been forbidden to me, since the day it took my twin from this world, so many years ago.

the flame dances around my hand, singing what uit touches. it crackles slightly, the uncaring laugh of my little flame as it burns the moisture off my sweaty palm. black marks criss-cross my hand like a dark snake tiwinting beneath my skin, and the smell of charred flesh fills the room. It creeps into every corner, and as i inhale the unique scent i begin to feel the stirring of life within me.

the tiny flame sputter, quickly running out of fuel. searching, i cannot find another candle to keep my flame alive. the desire to watch my flame grow burns within me. grabbing the closest piece of paper, i give it a cursory glance. its only my report card, with dismaying marks covering it its expendable. quickly bunching it up, i catch the last breath of my little flame on a corner of the paper.

the fire starts to crackle again, laughing at my desperation. it qiuckly comsumes the paper, scortching my hands as i try to hold onto it. the pain is so intense, so real it pierces my cloudy thoughts.

fumbling a bit, i drop the fiery mass onto the floor. how quickly the carpet catches! standing amongst the flames, hopping, trying to find a way to make peace with the pain. but i no longer control the pain, the fire. i have let it get too powerful and now its slowly consuming me.

my clothes catch next and i know the fire wants me to join my long lost twin. silently agreeing with its unspoken plea, i let the darkness take over. it starts in the corner of my eyes, just a dark shadow, and consumes me with startling quickness. giving myself over completely, i feel a new liveliness tingling in my fingers.

finally opening my eyes, i look straight into the eyes of my twin and know exactly what happened to us. consumed by the flames, the fiery light dances in out eyes, reflecting everything but the torment in our souls.

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