Stained

'would it be wrong
would it be right
if i took my life tonight
because chances are that i might'

screaming though my speakers, the words burn though my brain, so loud the walls almost seem to shake. but perhaps it is only i who is shaking, while the tears stream down my cheeks. slowly, in the darkened room, i look around, hopeing to see the pale cold gleam of the moon refelcted back at me, leading the way to my only true friend. there! just the faintest glimmer of heartless moonlight catches my eye. my trusty friend is on the cluttered desk, my beacon in the stormy night of my life.

quickly, grabbing it up, suicide-filled lyrics echoing thorugh my thoughts. collapsing on my bed, i try to focus on my metallic lover but my tears blur the image. it doesnt matter though, the moves i make are so well practiced i dont need to see a thing. tonight i only need to feel my loves cruel caress. slowly, tenderly, i run a finger down my loves edge, testing for the blades sharpness, feeling the skin on my finger part at its cool intrusion. perfect!

the clouds shift away from the moon and its cold, lifeless glow falls on me though the open window. the pale gleam against my milky white skin entices me, almost mesmorizing me for a moment.

snapping out of my trance, i let the uncaring embrace of the moonlight calm me before continuing. the scars on my leg glare up at me, begging me to stop while i can. but tonight im too far gone to care about the marks that mar my pale white leg. the same marks that force me to keep my legs constantly hidden under layers of cloth.

cold white gives way to flowing crimson as my loves dark kiss opens the gate to release my pain. the flowing red takes with it the pain form my heart and calms my poisionous thoughts for a moment. slowly the flow stops and my release is complete. i can sleep for another dreamless night, and i will live another day. but i know tomorrow i will preform the same dark ritual, and perhaps next time my dark soul will finally be released from my tortured body.

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