The next day, Abbey didn’t answer the phone, she didn’t make it out to a photography shoot, she didn’t even get out of bed. Things weren’t going in her favor at all and she wondered if maybe she just needed to get away. All she wanted was to be happy. With JC. With Justin. Alone. Anything, she just needed the uncertainty of it all to be gone.
She picked up the phone, dialed his number, and sat there with anticipation. The sound of his voicemail on the other end was a small relief that she didn’t have to say anything yet over the phone to him. “Hey, it’s me. Can you come over whenever you get this message? I really need to talk to you.” She hung up, unsure of what exactly she would say when he got there.
It didn’t take long though. There he stood, a worried look on his face, as she opened the door.
“I got your message. What’s up?”
“Come in, we need to talk.”
He walked in, stopping nervously just a few feet from her. “I don’t understand. About what?” She grabbed his hand, walking him over to a seat.
She held both of his hands in hers, her eyes locked on his. “Justin, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Okay, then don’t,” he quipped.
“No, I’m serious.”
“Gotcha. Serious,” he tried to hide his grin.
“I don’t love you. I can’t be with you.”
His joking side disappeared and his eyes darkened. “All you have to do is remember.”
“Justin, listen to me,” her voice was louder, stern. “I’m never going to remember. That time is gone. Everything we had is gone.”
The emphasis on the last word sent chills down his spine. “You’re giving up?”
“No, but we can’t keep going in this direction. You deserve to be happy. I deserve to be happy. And that happiness is not together.”
“Why are you saying this? Why now?”
“Because we’ve been dancing around each other for months. I can’t make myself love you. You can’t make me remember. We’re good friends and that will just have to be enough.”
“You can’t mean this,” he choked back the tears.
“I’m sorry, Justin, but I do. I’m going to move on with my life and I want you to move on with yours.”
“Is there someone else or something? I don’t get why you’re doing this now.”
“It doesn’t matter if there is someone or not. You and I are not meant to be.”
“If you hadn’t of been hit by that car, we’d still be together right now.”
“You don’t know that.”
He pulled his hands out from hers, wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes. “I do know that. I know you loved me. I know you still love me somewhere deep down. But I’ll let you go. Because I would do anything for you.” He turned quickly, trying to hide the mass of tears covering his face, and walked out the door. Slumping to the floor, she curled into a ball and sobbed until she fell asleep.
The next week was a long one. Justin didn’t call anymore, he didn’t show up at her door, he completely distanced himself from her. Abbey had tried calling JC once, only to get his voicemail. Lance showed up unexpectedly one day, checking in to see how she was. She smiled and nodded, acting content. But Lance knew it was a front. It was the same front he saw them all put up. No one could admit to anyone else that they were unhappy. It was much easier to pretend.
Abbey took on more than enough work to keep her busy. Any free hours were spent locked in the darkroom developing countless photos. The guys were still in the studio, doing the last few songs for their album.
It wasn’t until she saw him that warm Friday night that she realized just how much she missed them all.
“You know, you shouldn’t walk alone at night,” he smiled.
She tried walking past him into the building, knowing that if she made eye contact with those beautiful azure eyes, she’d surely stumble and fall.
“If I told you I was an ass and I’m sorry, would you forgive me?”
Without any acknowledgment, she continued walking.
“Okay, I can take the silent treatment. But these are for you.” He reached around her to show her the bouquet of orchids.
She closed her eyes and smiled, taking the small bunch from him.
“So, are we kosher now?” His eyes, filled with hope, met her gaze as she turned around.
“Yah.” They walked up to her apartment, both silent but smiling.
He made small talk as he watched her place the flowers in water. She didn’t say much in response, only occasionally glanced over at him as he spoke. After carrying the flowers into the living room and setting them down, she looked at him intently, speaking in a very matter-of-fact tone. “Why are you here, Josh?”
“Because I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
“You could have called me and told me that.”
“And I missed you.”
She turned to avoid his piercing stare. Absent-mindedly she flipped through the stack of mail on the table. “Lance says you all have been really busy working on the album. He told me it’s going to be really--”
Her train of thought was lost the second he touched her. His fingers traced tiny circles on her shoulders. A shiver raced through her body as she felt his hot breath against her neck. Gently, he placed soft kisses up her neck, lingering just beside her ear.
“You’re so beautiful.”
He unzipped the back and ran his fingers underneath the straps of her dress, slowly pushing them off her shoulders, letting it fall down to the floor. Kisses covered her back, hovering just between her shoulder blades as he unhooked her bra.
Abbey turned around, kissing him deeply, only pausing to pull his shirt over his head. They moved rhythmically, almost dancing, towards the bedroom. Never parting their embrace, they slid their shoes off and lay on the bed. He pushed himself up, standing again, watching her every move. Slowly, he pulled down his pants and boxers, kicking them to the side as he leaned down over her. Starting with her lips, he delicately kissed his way towards her stomach, her writhing body enjoying every touch. Her hips lifted slightly as he pulled her panties off.
“Josh, I need you.” She pulled him down, hands roaming across his body. He lay on top of her, still kissing her pale skin.
The sweet touch of his kisses stopped as he placed his hands on either side of her head, causing her to open her eyes. “I want you to look at me.”
She smiled, kissing him again. Her eyes began to flutter in ecstasy as he slowly lowered himself into her.
His body was like fire on hers, burning her with pleasure. This was a moment she wanted to relish. Soft moans escaped her lips with each movement as their bodies rocked back and forth.
His tender caresses brought her to the edge as she felt her body tighten around his. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt complete bliss. He pulled her closer, kissing her forehead, as they both lay there breathless.
“Never doubt that I love you. Never.”
She smiled at his words, letting them echo in her head.
Chapter 12: Remnants of Trust
Take Me Home!
