Seeing Justin sitting there in the waiting room was hard. He was leaning forward in the chair, elbows resting on his knees, and his face buried in his hands. The last thing JC wanted was to confirm to Justin exactly what he was dreading most. It was almost as if Justin could feel his friend’s eyes upon him. He ran his fingers through the still damp curls as he met JC’s gaze. Moving slowly, as if his legs were resisting the short walk down the hall, JC made his way to where Justin was sitting. The right words to say were a mystery to him. He wasn’t even sure if there were any words that would make it easier to convey. All he knew was that Justin needed something to keep his hope alive.
“What did she say? What did you say to her?”
Just hearing the questions broke JC’s heart. “Just, I don’t know. Stuff.”
“Shit man, come on. Tell me.”
“She doesn’t remember.”
Justin rolled his eyes, his frustration building. “I know, but what exactly does she not remember? I mean, did you tell her everything?”
“We talked only about some broad stuff. I didn’t get into a bunch of details.”
“Okay, so what did she say?”
“Not a lot. She mostly just listened.”
“So then you don’t really know what she doesn’t remember. I mean, maybe she just forgot some little things or whatever. Details and stuff.”
“Justin--”
“Nah, man. See. Everything is going to be fine now.” Justin started walking down the hall towards her room.
“She doesn’t remember you, J. She doesn’t remember any of it.” The words came out far more stern than JC had intended, and they stopped Justin dead in his tracks.
He stood there for a moment, his back still towards JC, before he started walking again. “No, you don’t know that,” he whispered.
The darkness was cold, numbing. Faces flashed around her, muffled voices called out. It was hard to distinguish between what she knew, and what she might have forgotten. The whole scene was a jumbled mess, leaving her spinning, searching for an answer to the confusion. The more the world spun, the louder the voices got. She opened her eyes, slightly startled to see him sitting there watching her.
He had been watching her sleep for nearly an hour. Studying every breath and movement, he had sat there content, waiting for the moment she would wake up. A thousand things crossed his mind as he had contemplated what to say. A simple ‘hey’ was all he could manage now.
She smiled at him uncomfortably. She too searched for words to say.
“I wanted to. . . needed to talk to you. I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”
She merely sat there staring at him, examining his every feature.
There was a small glimmer of hope in his eyes as he spoke. “Are you feeling better? You were so confused earlier.”
She nodded, still staring at him.
“So you know who I am?” He leaned forward, hopeful.
Another slight nod came, this one more reluctant.
A smile spread across his face and he closed his eyes. “Thank God.”
She reached out and grabbed his hand, causing his eyes to open. “No, it’s not. . . I mean, I know you’re in the group with Josh. He writes me and tells me about you all.” She watched as the brief joy quickly turned to sadness again. “I didn’t mean to make you think. . You know, I don’t remember the other stuff.”
“All you’ve gotta do is try, babygirl. I know you remember me. Just try.” He held on tight to her hand, not wanting to ever let it go again.
“I have. I am. It’s just that I. . . I can’t.”
“I love you. And you love me. Just remember. Please.” Tears began to fall, his eyes pleading with her for answers that she didn’t have.
“I’m sorry,” was all she could manage to convey. She pulled her hand from his, bringing it to her face to cover her own tears. “I’m so sorry.”
Justin left the room hastily, practically running out into the hall. JC knew by the expression on his face that Justin finally knew it was true. She didn’t remember him. She didn’t remember any of it. All of the laughs, the jokes, the soft kisses, the warm hugs, the late nights alone talking. It had all been taken away in a split second.
JC wrapped his arms tight around the younger man, trying to hold him still as he sobbed. “We have to help her remember, JC. We have to.”
Chapter 7: Remnants of Faith
Take Me Home!
