ANTIGONE: Yeah, I dunno. Sorry.

OEDIPUS: Lemme sit down or something. I'm fuckin' TIRED.

CHORUS: Dude! You can't sit there! It's scared or somethin'.

OEDIPUS: So tell me how I can make it, like, not holy.

ANTIGONE: Fuck that, Dad. Here comes Ismene.

ISMENE: Sup Pops? Sup slut?

ANTIGONE: Hye.

ISMENE: So, like, Polynieces is all up in Creon's grill and Eteocles is, like, tryin' ta be king. So Creon was like, Get the fuck out, PolyASS, and go to Argos."

OEDIPUS: aight...k.

THESEUS: Yo, Oedipus, wutchudoin.

OEDIPUS: Uh...jc?

THESEUS: k, no big. As long as you don't ruin my city or I'll cut you wide open old man, lolololol

ANTIGONE: he won't, don't worry

OEDIPUS: AH SHIT! I'm dying!

ISMENE: Yeah, Creon wants you back.

OEDIPUS: Fuck that. I'm staying here.

ANTIGONE: Dad, don't fuckin' DIE on me.

OEDIPUS: Theseus, watch me die! LOL

THESEUS: Aight.

ANTIGONE: wtf!!1 We're his damn kids and he won't let us watch him die.

ISMENE: That sucks.

THESEUS: Yeah, he just, like, disappeared. Nice.

THE END.