MENTAL MARRiAGE I stared out the window at the silent night. Tears welled in my eyes as I remembered sitting with Adam on nights like this. I turned away, unable to think that he was with Amy now. Adam and Amy. It sounded better than Adam and Ally, right? I looked back out the window, eager that tomorrow was when I would see Jay. Jay was my only contact with the outside world. Doctor Rosenbaum and a nurse named Clarice were my only other friends. A nice nurse came around once a week to bring fresh sheets and fresh clothes for me. I think her name was Patricia. I noticed a car pull into the parking lot below. Who in their right mind would come to a mental hospital this late at night? I watched as a man with a ponytail got out of the car. He headed inside and soon vanished underneath the trees. I sighed and turned back to my room. All they allowed me to have were toxic-free crayons, a coloring book, and a book Doctor Herolds had written about how to make your life stress-free. The guard roamed the halls and I watched him through my door. A scream came from down the hall and I heard the guard radio the nurse's station. A few sullen minutes passed and the soft pad of the nurses' footsteps echoed down the hall as they raced to calm another patient. Sleep was always better during the day, I figured out. The night call nurses were all cranky and never understood my nightmares and dreams. Another soft pad sounded in the hall, but stopped outside my door. I sat on my bed and looked at the floor. A knock came. "Allyson? Are you awake?" a soft voice asked.

"Yes," I answered. "Come in." The door creaked open and the dim face of a nurse appeared.

"You've got a visitor. And it's not Jason."

"Pardon?" I asked, scanning my mind for who it could be.

"He says he's Adam..and you'd know who he was."

"I do, I do."

"Would you like to see him?" she asked, pushing a strand of hair off her face.

"Please." She opened the door wider and I stood up. I followed her down the hall and to the meeting rooms. We stopped in front of my usual room, Room F. I opened the heavy oak door and let it shut behind me. "Hi.." I whispered, my nerves blocking my throat. He turned from the window and smiled at me. We stood at opposite ends of the bright yellow room.

"Long time no see," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah.." I looked away from his gaze and bit my lip. Why am I so nervous? I asked myself, internally slapping my cheek.

"I came to see how you were doing. Sorry if I awoke you."

"I never sleep at night. The night nurses are misunderstanding."

"So you sleep during the day? Interesting."

"Yeah. Real interesting."

"So how've you been?" he asked, sitting in a chair.

"How well can I be? I'm in a nuthouse with people who think squirrels are chasing their elephants."

"Funny," he said with a grin. "Have a seat. Don't be scared." I slowly sat down across from him and tucked my legs up, sitting Indian style. "Jay comes tomorrow, right?"

"Yes. Every Wednesday at noon."

"Good guy to do that, huh?"

"He never misses a Wednesday. Not even if it's a holiday."

"Do you ever think that he doesn't like coming?" I turned away to avoid the question. Jay loves me. He says so every Wednesday. He says he enjoys coming. Would he lie because I'm in a mental hospital? "Well, do you?"

"Adam, why are you here?"

"To see you."

"Doctor Rosenbaum says I can choose to ignore anyone. And I'm going to choose to ignore you."

"You're just bitter because I left you for someone without problems." I teared up and my self-esteem bubble burst. "You got yourself in here, Ally. Not me, not Amy, no one else but yourself. You made yourself insane. I'm glad you're here. I'd hate having to look at your ugly face every single day." The tears rolled down my cheeks and the flesh burned with embarassment and rage. "You know what else? Jay tells me that he hates you. He hates having to come here. If your mother weren't dead, Jay would never come to see you. Never ever." He got up and shook his head. "You're a disgrace. You shouldn't even be alive." He took his jacket and left the room. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. The nurse came in and took me back to my room. I watched him roar out of the parking lot through my window. I lay on my bed and cried myself into a troublesome sleep.


A knock came at the door and my eyes opened. "Allyson, Jason has arrived," Clarice said in her calm voice.

"Clarice, can you come in?" I asked shakily, laying still. The door creaked open and her soft footsteps came to the bed.

"Ally, baby, what's wrong?" she asked, stroking my hair. I sat up and lay in her strong arms.

"Adam."

"He came back? When?" she asked in her scratchy, African-born voice.

"Last night. He..he said that Jay didn't love me and that he hated coming here." I sobbed out, my tears spilling onto her chocolate-colored arms.

"Adam is just jealous that you stole his best friend's heart away. Child, you best get out there. Jason looks like he needs a friend as much as you do." I hugged Clarice and got up. She followed me down the hall to the same bright room I was in last night. I entered and the harsh words attacked me again. I gripped the doorknob tightly to avoid collapsing.

"Ally.." Jay whispered, hugging me. "Adam..Adam's been in an accident." Cold, icy tears slid down my cheeks as Jay explained what happened. Adam was driving over the speed limit and hit a guard rail. "They're not sure if he'll live or not. I came to talk to you, since I know you're the only one who'll understand." I wanted to reach out and hold him close. I wanted to run my fingers through his golden hair and tell him I loved him more than ever. I looked out the window on the door and Clarice gave me an encouraging smile.

"Jay, Adam came here last night." His head shot up and his blue eyes darkened.

"What did he say?"

"He said you hated me..and you hated coming here..and you didn't love me.." I began crying all over again. Jay hugged me tight.

"Adam's jealous, Ally. He wants you back. Amy left him for Brian. Sometimes, I wonder if coming here has made you better..if I help you forget all your problems."

"Yes," I said, shocked at the sudden change of topic. "Why?"

"You're all I think about. For so long, I've loved you. I pained me to see you so hurt by Adam. I couldn't imagine that you'd wind up in here. I love coming to see you. You keep me stable. And after a while, I've come to love this place. I'd move in here if it meant being with you."

"Oh, Jay," I whispered, brushing his cheek with my hand. "Everyone knows you and loves you around here. Clarice says that you're the best thing that's happened to me."

"I want you to marry me, Ally. I don't want to wait, I want to marry you right here, right now." He hugged me tightly and I swallowed. Marry him? I'd love to, but I'm in here..

"Jay, I'd love to, but.."

"But what? Whatever's blocking this from happening, I'll fix."

"I'm in here. I can't get out for another few months." I replied sadly. He lifted my chin and kissed me softly. A cheer came from outside the door and Jay pulled away slowly. We both turned and saw Clarice and the other nurses standing around, watching. I turned back to Jay and he smiled. I giggled softly and he leaned in again. I kissed him passionately and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Is that a yes?" he asked when we pulled away.

"It's an 'oh Hell yeah I will'," I replied, hugging him. He pulled back and took the ring from his pocket.

"This was my grandmother's engagement ring. My grandfather proposed to her when she was giving birth to their first son and they got married right there in the kitchen of my great-grandparents' house. She led a happy life and her marriage was successful. She gave it to me right before she died and told me to give it to the woman I loved. And I love you." He slid the ring on my finger. "We'll get married when you get released," he whispered. "I promise."


I hugged Clarice tightly, sniffling. "I'm going to miss you, Clarice."

"Honey, don't you worry. You can come visit me any day. And besides, I'm going to be there when your first baby comes, okay?" I nodded and smiled. "So you get a move on. Jason's coming any second." I pulled away from her and went down the hall with my bags to Doctor Rosenbaum's office. I knocked on the door and fidgeted.

"Come in," he called. I stepped inside and smiled. "Hello, Allyson. Please be seated." I put my bags by the door and sat in a chair by his desk. "I've signed your release forms." He paused and sighed. "We're all going to miss you, Allyson."

"I'll miss you, too, Doctor Rosenbaum. But I'll come visit!"

"I hope your marriage to Jason goes well."

"Aren't you coming? I invited you, I know I did."

"I'd love to come, but someone has to stay behind, don't they?"

"The other doctors can stay. I want you there."

"I'll come," he said with a smile. He handed me my release forms. "I haven't signed you up for once-a-month check-ups. I think you'll be just fine."

"Thank you for everything, Doctor Rosenbaum." I stood and shook his hand.

"Good luck with your new life, Allyson." I picked up my bags and walked down the hall. I got to the lobby and found Jay waiting in his tuxedo.

"Hey there, bride-to-be. Ready to go?" he asked, hugging me.

"If I don't leave now, I never will." We went out to the car and got in. I sat in the passenger's seat and waved goodbye to everyone, ready to embark on my new life.

BACK TO THE STORiES

HOME