“Tell us about California,” Benji asked, shoving half a slice of pizza into his mouth. Sarah wiped her mouth and gazed at the restaurant’s ceiling in thought. We all stared at her, waiting for some extravagant answer.
          “It’s hot. There’s lots of...’pretty people’, you know? Beach bunnies, muscleheads, the elite.” She paused and picked a pepperoni off a slice of pizza. “It’s humbling, too. You see all these gorgeous, tan, thin, blonde people and you shrink back into yourself and go ‘Whoa. And I was considered hot in Waldorf’. It’s wild.” Benji nodded and continued to stuff his face.
          “How did you come to work with Sony?” Paul questioned, sipping some of his Coke. She swallowed what she was chewing on and he began to blow bubbles. I smacked his arm and he gave me an apologetic look.
          “I went to UCLA and I needed a job. I applied to a bunch of places. Sony was looking for an intern and I moved my way up to PR by last year.”
          “PR?” Billy tilted his head to the side.
          “Public Relations,” she replied quickly. “Anyway, my boss decided I was wasting my talent in PR, so he sent me to be a talent agent. I’m always looking for new artists to sign. I was hoping to possibly catch some East Coast rock sometime.” She sighed and tucked some hair behind her ears. “I’m sick of that surfer rock shit.” We all laughed and she smiled. “So Haley tells me y’all are in a band?”           “Good Charlotte,” Aaron said, puffing his chest out proudly. “Best band in Waldorf.”
          “Glad to see Waldorf being put on the map,” she replied, eating more pizza.
          “What else did Haley tell you?” Paul asked, eyeing me warily.
          “Nothing bad, of course.” She winked at me and I giggled softly, finishing my second slice.
          “I’m done,” I groaned. Paul scoffed at me. “What?!”
          “You hang with the guys, you eat like one,” he said pointedly. He put another slice of pizza on my plate and glared at me. I picked it up gingerly and frowned. “Eat.” I sighed and nibbled the food. “Has the amount of fun raised any since I left?” Sarah questioned, sipping her water with lemon. I caught Aaron edging himself closer to her out of the corner of my eye and smirked.
          “Nah, not really,” Joel admitted, taking my pizza from me and eating it.
          “Thank you,” I muttered to him out of the corner of my mouth. He nodded his welcome. I cleared my throat and stated, “The only fun thing to do is hang out, really.”
          “And go online!” Billy chimed, smiling broadly.
          “Not all of us can afford computers and Internet access,” Benji griped, throwing a wadded up straw wrapper at the junior. Billy winced as it bounced off his head and landed in his soda.
          “Jerk,” Billy mumbled, picking the paper out of his drink.
          “Don’t call him a jerk, you whacko,” Joel retorted, flicking his own straw wrapper at Billy.
          “Don’t call him a whacko then!” Paul growled defensively. He took a pepperoni and threw it at Joel. It hit him on the nose and stuck. I stifled a giggle and handed him a napkin.
          “You think that’s funny?” I shook my head and giggled again. “That’s it!” he shouted, wiping some sauce from his pizza and streaking it down my cheek. Benji threw a piece of crust at his brother, his eyes narrowing into angry slits. Joel threw it back and grinned. The boys began to fling food at each other and I slid my chair back from the table, laughing at them all.
          “Adult time,” Sarah interjected after a few minutes, raising her eyebrows. All food to be thrown was put down and the boys grew silent. “You guys remind me of me and my friends.” She smiled nostalgically. “We were a wild bunch, but we had a lot of fun.”
          “Did you go to La Plata, too?” Aaron asked, smiling flirtatiously at my aunt. I rolled my eyes at him. She nodded and the two began a private conversation.
          “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be heading to the ladies’ room,” I said politely and stood.
          “Oh cut the shit,” Benji snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You gotta take a piss.”
          I stared blankly at him. “Well excuse me for trying to be lady-like in front of my aunt!” I huffed and walked to the bathroom. The trip was routine and I came back just in time to see the waitress bring the check. I slid into my seat and reached for my wallet.
          “Don’t you dare, Haley Augustine,” Sarah barked at me. I blinked and gently placed both my hands on the table. She paid the bill and left a generous tip. “Oh the joys of having money finally.” We all laughed. The seven of us stood and went outside, standing on the sidewalk. “What else can we do?” All six teens shrugged.
          “It’s a Friday night,” Paul thought aloud, opening a Twix.
          “Yeah, where is everyone?” Aaron asked, shoving his hands in his pockets.
          “Probably at some party or something,” I replied, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning on one leg. The rest nodded, staring blankly around. Sarah glanced at her watch and sighed. “It’s also ten-thirty and this old lady needs to zip back to her hotel. I’ve got to do some research for this battle of the bands thing tomorrow night.”
          “Hey, where’s it at?” Aaron inquired, perking up a bit.
          “Some club in Annapolis,” she answered with a shrug.
          “We’re playing there!” Paul exclaimed, grinning. Some caramel from his candy was hanging off his lip.
          “Hon…” I gestured to my lip and he swiped the back of his large hand across his mouth. “Better.” I chuckled at him and shook my head.
          “Well then, one band down and eleven to go!” We all laughed and mused over it. After a few moments of awkward conversation, she said, “Well, good night then!” and began walking towards her rented Ford Escort. I followed, staring at the ground. We got to the car and I leaned against the side of it. “What are you planning on doing later?”
          “Probably just hanging out with the guys at someone’s house.” I shrugged and kicked a loose piece of asphalt with my sneaker.
          “Don’t go having sex with them all now.” I gaped at her in shock and horror.
          “Aunt SARAH! I’m not that kind of girl. You KNOW that.”
          “I know, I know.” She sighed and laid a hand on my shoulder. “But please, be careful with them? Boys are tricky business and you’re liable to get hurt, even if you are just friends.” She gave me a concerned, motherly look and I hugged her.
          “Yeah, I know.” She hugged back and bid me goodbye. She got in the car, taking her time. I stepped back from the curb and merely watched. Sarah drove off down the street and I waved after her, my free hand in my back pocket. As soon as she disappeared, I turned and trudged back over to the guys.
          “We’re headed back to my place,” Billy announced, grinning broadly at me. “You in?”
          “Sure,” I replied, sliding into the back of the Buick. “Why not?”

          Someone let out a loud belch and the guys erupted into laughter, congratulating whoever it was. I yawned and flipped through the channels idly as Billy clacked away at his computer’s keyboard. Paul was to my right, devouring a bag of potato chips Mrs. Martin had purchased solely for him. Aaron was with Billy, to my left, watching whatever Bill appeared to be doing. The twins were off to my far right, sitting at a card table and heatedly discussing the following night’s set list. After finding nothing good on the television, I handed the remote to Paul. He took it with a greasy hand and had trouble holding onto it. I smiled a bit at his comical gesture and moved behind Billy’s chair. I rested my arms on the back of it and leaned against them. “What’s all this?” I asked, scanning the computer screen. Several dinging noises went off in the background and Billy continued to type.
          “Bill’s posting the good word about GC on WXDF’s message board,” Aaron replied, running a hand through his unkempt hair.
          “A what?”
          “Message board…it’s a forum where you type a little message—hence the name ‘message board’—and people reply to it with their comments,” Bill explained as he finished up whatever he was typing. “I’m posting about our band on the local band thread.”
          “Oh…cool,” I said, my interest waning rapidly.
          “Proofread it?” he asked, looking up at me with his big, blue eyes. I nodded and he smiled at me. “Thank you.”
          “Welcome.” I cleared my throat and began to read aloud,” ‘Hey guys! My name is Billy and I’m in a Waldorf-made’—change that to ‘Waldorf-based’—band called Good Charlotte. We’re playing at the Battle of the Bands in Annapolis tomorrow night. We got started in 1996 as the Joel, Benji, and Brian Band. Brian left due to a conflicting schedule’—make that ‘to conflicting schedules’—and our bassist Paul joined, along with our drummer Aaron. I joined about six months ago as the rhythm guitarist. We have a decent reppertwar.’” I paused and chuckled. “What’s that word supposed to be?”
          “Repertoire,” Aaron answered matter-of-factly.
          “It’s spelled r-e-p-e-r-t-o-i-r-e,” I mused, giggling.
          “Shit,” Billy grunted. He deleted the misspelled word and fixed it. I finished proofreading and Okayed it. He posted the message and clicked out of the screen. Several other windows with various text conversations were open. The dinging noises continued.
          “What in the world are those?” I questioned, arching an eyebrow.
          “Instant Messages.” He looked up to see the blank expression on my face. Aaron got up and sat beside Paul. The two finally settled on watching The Real World. “It’s a conversation with other people from all over the Internet. It’s faster than e-mail messaging. In fact it’s instant, hence the name.” He smiled and I chuckled. “It’s pretty handy.”
          “So…where are all these people from?”
          “’LadyGeisha’ is from California, but she was born in Japan. ‘Quikslvr11’ is from Oklahoma, and I’m ‘Silvrchr97’.”
          “Oh. I see.” I let him be and turned around. Paul and Aaron were both half-asleep and the twins were locked in another of their heated telepathy matches. Joel looked apathetic while his brother seemed angered beyond reason. Benji’s gaze snapped to me and he beckoned me to him. I moved over to him slowly, watching him open the door to the furnace room and stare at me for a split second before entering. I followed him into the room and he yanked a chain hanging from the ceiling. Light instantly flooded the space and I blinked, adjusting. He shut the door behind me and folded his arms across his broad chest. I avoided his gaze avidly.
          “Why’d you do it, Hale, huh? Why’d you take him back?”
          I sucked in a breath and released it slowly. “Because I love him.” I met his eyes defiantly and they were covered in pain.
          “He hurt you so badly…and you still love him. I don’t understand that. Not one bit. He practically ripped your fuckin’ heart out and hand fed it to a pack of piranhas. Haley…come on,” he pleaded, resting his hands on my shoulders.
          “Benj, I think I love him. We’re so young that I don’t know if such an amount of love for one person can or should be real. But I know that he’s the one I want to be with right now. I can’t have it any other way or I think I might cease to exist.” I bit my lip and looked away. He was silent for a few seconds and then pulled me into a tight hug. I clung to Benji and sobbed onto his shoulder. He rocked me back and forth until a knock came at the door. Billy poked his head in.
          “Uh, sorry to interrupt, but we’re all headed to bed. Hales, you’re welcome to use my bed,” he offered.
          “No thanks. I’ll sleep where everyone else is sleeping,” I replied.
          “Alright. I’ll go get you a pillow and a blanket.” He left and I looked up at Benji.
          “Do you think I’m stupid for feeling this way?” He shook his head no and brushed some errant strands of hair from my face.
          “Haley, I think you know to listen to your heart whereas Joel tends to listen to what’s in his pants at this point in time. I think you make him a better person and he brings out the best in you. I think you complement each other in such a way that it’s just a given that you two were meant to be. Unfortunately he can’t see that. He doesn’t know exactly how to hold on to the best things in his life. One day he’ll realize it. You’ll be slipping through his fingers and he’ll strengthen his grip.” He paused and kissed my forehead. “Just make sure you continually listen to your heart. Don’t do anything dumb.” I smiled and he yanked open the door. Joel, Paul, and Aaron were asleep on the rug before the TV. Billy had laid out a pillow and blanket for Benji and I. I took my items and hopped gracefully onto the couch. I fluffed the pillow with a tiny giggle. I stretched out and wrapped myself in the blanket. “Night Hales,” Benji whispered from the floor before me.
          “Night Benjinator,” I whispered back, smiling into the soft glow of the television.

          I woke up the next day to a box of Boo Berries and a note taped to it:

Haley-
                    We’ve gone back to Aaron’s to practice. Call us and we’ll come get you. Otherwise you’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. Benji said Mrs. Combs will be home around one o’clock, if you want to go back to their place then. We’ll get you for the show.

Love,
Billy

          I smiled and opened the box of cereal. I yawned slightly and turned on the TV. As I channel surfed, I munched on the compressed grain and marshmallow bits. I watched cartoons on various channels until I sensed the afternoon waste away. I went up to the kitchen and put the Boo Berries back in the cabinet. I thanked Mrs. Martin and began to head back to the Combs’ residence. Sarah was playing in the front yard with Cash when I walked up to the home. She waved at me and I let myself into the house. Josh was asleep on the couch and Mrs. Combs was nowhere in sight. I opened the refrigerator and took a box of apple juice. I removed the straw from its wrapper and stuck it in the designated hole. Sipping my beverage, I went down to my room. On my bed were two packages. I arched a brow and sat on the cot, picking up a lumpy mass. It was encased in a plastic shopping bag and a hastily scribbled note on it said it was “to me, from the guys.” I untied the handles and pulled out a baby blue shirt bearing the name “Good Charlotte” on it in black lettering. I smiled and laid it on the bed. I was definitely wearing that tonight. The next package was neat and tied with a nice red ribbon. I untied said ribbon and ripped open the wrapping paper. There was a wrapped box with a card attached to it. I opened the card and read a small note from Aunt Sarah, commending me on my graduation. She instructed me to wait to the following day to open the package. I put it on my desk and reclined on the bed, still sipping my juice. I recalled the previous night’s events in my mind. It was so nice to be with all of them and to forget about my problems and my life. It was as if a curse had been lifted. I sighed slightly and glanced at the wall clock. It was quarter after three. The show was at seven. With a groan I got up and extinguished the juice box, tossing it into my little trash receptacle. I took the elastic out of my hair and shook my head, my hair falling around my face. I kicked off my Chuck Taylor’s and headed back up the stairs to take a shower before heading out for the evening.

          The crowd milled about in silent intensity, waiting for them to come on. The hired stage crew quickly broke down and set up each band’s equipment. Small pockets of fans scattered through the crowd. I was the only representative for Good Charlotte. The night was waning and so far the competition was tough. I hadn’t seen Sarah anywhere, but I didn’t expect her to be in the crowd with all the pit kids and whatnot. Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to see Liz. “Hey!” she cried, clinging to my arm. “Crazy night, huh?”
          “Definitely,” I replied with a smile. “Here to see Benji?”
          She nodded. “You know it! I think he might ask me to go steady, too.” I gave her a wistful grin and the announcer came back.
          “Alright guys. This is the last band. They hail from Waldorf, Maryland. They love their moms. They kick total ass. Guys and girls, give it up for…Good Charlotte!” The crowd cheered enthusiastically. Liz and I both squealed. They came out onto the stage and by the look on their faces, they were ready to rock. The set went by smoothly, the songs and energy eliciting cheers from everyone. Joel made some pretty good comments and he even winked at me once. I wondered if he asked Layla to come. Did she even know he had a band? If she did, would she have come? No, probably not. She wasn’t too particular about being seen with “losers.” What a typical popular bitch, she is. A familiar voice stampeded my thoughts out. “For our last two songs, we’re gonna cover a kickass So-Cal punk band called Blink-182,” I heard Benji say, scratching the pink blotch on his head.
          “Holy crap,” I murmured, tapping Liz. She broke her gaze from Benj and looked at me. “My aunt must have given Aaron her copy of this CD. I remember she wrote me a review about it.” My friend nodded, knowing her small voice wouldn’t be heard about the audience.
          “This first song is called ‘Josie’,” Joel announced, smiling timidly. “It’s dedicated to a very special girl who’s changed the lives of everyone in this band. I think the song pretty much speaks for itself…so here it is.” Aaron counted off and Joel broke into song:

“Yeah, my girlfriend takes me home when I'm too drunk to drive
And she doesn't get all jealous when I hang out with the guys
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does
She brings me Mexican food from Sombrero's just because
(Yeah, just because)
And my girlfriend likes U.L. and D.H.C.
And she's so smart and independent, I don't think she needs me
Quite half as much as I know I need her
I wonder why there's not another guy that she'd prefer
And when I feel like giving up
Like my world is falling down
I show up at 3am
She's still up watching Vacation, and I
See her pretty face
It takes me away to a better place and
I know that everything
Everything's gonna be fine
Yeah, my girlfriend takes collect calls from the road
And it doesn't seem to matter that I'm lacking in the bulge
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does
She brings me Mexican food from Sombrero's just because
And when I feel like giving up
Like my world is falling down
I show up at 3am
She's still up watching Vacation, and I
See her pretty face
It takes me away to a better place and
I know that everything
Everything's gonna be fine”

          I smiled at the end of the song and cheered along with the crowd. Joel thanked them and Benji stepped up to his mic. “This is our last song. It’s also for a special chick. She means the world to me. She’s been my sister when I had no siblings, she’s been my mother when I had no parents, and she’s been my security blanket, best friend, and fan club. She’s everything. Hales, this one is called ‘Emo’ and it’s for you.” Liz squealed and gripped my arm. I smiled a bit and stared up at Benji. Joel let his arms hang loosely at his sides, waiting for his brother to start. Benj looked back at Aaron and once again, he counted off.

One more time you will laugh without it
And he'll never try to give you more
And I don't care, he is such a dick
Treats you like you are a stupid whore
And it seems like things will never change
You go on, every cloud is in your way
And I know you feel empty all the time
You'll never listen to anything that I say
She's better off sleeping on the floor
'Cause she fell right off when all
Is said, you know
It's okay to just want more
Why leave when you claim it is love?
But why stay when you're not the only one?
She's proved she's strong
Be brave, be strong
She's better off sleeping on the floor
'Cause she fell right off when all
Is said, you know
It's okay to just want more
She's better off sleeping on the floor
She's better off sleeping on the floor
(Because she fell right off her bed)

          Tears stung the back of my eyes as he sang. His voice wasn’t as nearly as pure as Joel’s wasn’t. It was scratchy and edgy, more punk rock than anything. That was the only way to describe Benj. He was simply punk rock. I watched as he sneered, so very Sid Vicious. The recent pink poof on his head and spiked dog collar (stolen from Cash, probably) added to the emulation of 70s punk rock gods. I looked over at Liz. Her green eyes were filled with admiration and she brought her hands to her heart, sighing deeply. She was in love. I grinned to myself and turned my attention back to the stage. Four of the five were rocking out still. One lonely soul tried his hardest to keep the energy going. Occasionally, Joel bobbed his head or smiled. I knew he was feeling the same wave of helplessness that had overcome him in the basement. My heart cried out, willing my legs to carry me onto that stage and my arms to embrace him forever and ever. The song must have ended because the crowd erupted into a gigantic cheer, Liz heading it by screaming her brains out. The guys unplugged and ran off the stage in true Beatles fashion. I grabbed Liz and dragged her out of the crowd and towards the backstage area. I wrenched two passes out of my back pocket and threw one at her. “Sarah got these for us. Let’s go!” I hurried up the bouncer, a tall, wide, bald, black man, and flashed my pass before tugging Liz behind me.
          “Hey, slow down! It’s not like they’re going anywhere,” she cried. I let go of her arm and she rubbed her shoulder. “Look, there they are. They’re coming back.”
          I looked up to see the five of them strolling down the hall. They looked tired, sweaty, and excited. Liz bolted towards them, jumping on Benji. He hugged her tightly, a grin lighting up his face. The two spoke in hushed whispers. No doubt, the words were lovey dovey crap that all new couples speak. I chuckled to myself and let them go on. The other four came up to me and I walked with them back to the wing. Paul was eating a piece of pizza and had a liter bottle of Coke. Billy stood with his arms crossed, staring off into space. Aaron was wiping the sweat off of his forehead with a towel. When I glanced at Joel, he was staring at me intently. His look plainly said, “We need to talk.” I sighed, hating these looks. The twins always gave me the same look within days of each other. I don’t understand them at all. I conceded and followed him down the hall still, past Benj and Liz, and into their makeshift dressing room. They had trashed it. Premature rockstars. Joel cleared off a space on the couch and sat. I instinctively sat beside him. His jaw was set and he avoided my gaze. “Joel,” I ventured cautiously. “Look at me.” He turned his face to me, his eyes smoldering.
          “You told him.”
          “Yes, I did,” I replied. He relaxed and set his jaw again, his eyes blazing a hole through me and his chest puffed out in pride. “He told me that if there was any…trouble…between us, to talk to him. So I did.” I turned away from him, my back now to my boyfriend, and crossed my arms over my chest. “If you’re going to pick a fight over me talking about my feelings with someone, then I was a fool to take you back.” I sensed him retract back into himself and scan the floor and ceiling for answers. I was right, and he knew it. We remained in silence for a few minutes until his hand touched my back. “Don’t even say you’re sorry, Joel. Do NOT even start that.” The hand left. He got up, the weight of the couch shifting, and stood in front of me.
          “Haley, I love you. I know I do—“
          “That’s shit, Joel.” I looked up at him, tears pricking my eyes for the second time that evening.
          “I fucked up, I know. Why do you think I sang that song? Why do you think I told everyone out there I loved you?”
          I stood angrily and scowled. He stepped back and I got in his face. “No, Joel. You didn’t tell them you loved me. You said that song was for ‘someone who influenced everyone in the band’. Benji declared himself as my protector.” He looked down at me sorrowfully. “I’ve always wanted my boyfriend to protect me. Last time I checked, he wasn’t my boyfriend. You were. You clearly don’t want me, Joel. Or you’re ashamed to be with me. I don’t know which it is, but I can’t stand being second best to the one person you know I’m better than.” I pushed past him, tears streaming down my cheeks. I rushed down the hall and found my aunt standing by the guys. I flung myself on her, bawling like a six-year-old girl.
          “Haley, they’re announcing the winners. Hang on just one second longer and then I’ll take you home,” she whispered into my ear, stroking my hair.
          “The winners of the 1997 WXDF Battle of the Bands is…GOOD CHARLOTTE!” the announcer shouted. The crowd roared to life, cheering and whistling loudly. The guys ran onto the stage, euphoria filling the air. I looked up through my tears to give them a thumb up and a forced smile. Benji dragged Liz onstage with them. Joel walked out, throwing me a melancholy look. I turned away, burying my head into the crook of Sarah’s neck. “Not only will the band members receive five hundred dollars,” the crowd cheered, “but they get to record a demo at Fowl Records’ recording studio in Annapolis!” Again, more cheering.
          “Let’s go home,” Sarah said, steering me towards the roadie exit.

          I sat on the extra hotel bed, wrapped in Sarah’s old red robe. She was on the balcony, taking to her superior on her cell phone. I sipped some room service hot chocolate and flipped through the channels, delighted at the color TV. I watched some late night talk show and lay back on the bed. I let my thoughts wander. I remembered saying something harsh to Joel and crying with my aunt in the car on the way to the hotel. I couldn’t remember my shower or how exactly I’d managed to stop crying. I felt awful leaving my friends like that, especially on the best night of their lives. I knew Benji would understand. I picked up the phone and dialed the Combs’ number. It rang three times before Josh picked up. “Josh, it’s Haley…”
          “Hey. I heard the good news. Are you with the guys?”
          “No.” I paused and took a deep breath. “My aunt’s in town for a few days, so I’m at the hotel with her. Joel and I got into an argument and I’m going to stay here tonight.”
          “Thanks for calling,” he said with sincerity.
          I smiled and picked at a loose thread on the comforter. “You’re welcome. I didn’t want anyone to worry.”
          “When Benji comes home, I’ll tell him.”
          I murmured a thanks and heard Benji ask, “Tell me what?”
          “You wanna talk to him?”
          “Yes please,” I whispered, my stomach churning.
          “Hello?”
          “Benj, it’s me.”
          “Haley…where are you? Is everything okay? Why did you leave so soon?” I took a deep breath and relayed the whole story to him. He was silent during all of it. At the end I paused and sighed. “As long as you’re alright.”
          “Mmm.”
          “Will you come home before graduation tomorrow?”
          “I’ll be home in the morning, yes. Everything of mine is there.”
          “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
          “Yes.”
          “…Goodbye.”
          “Good night and sweet dreams, Benj,” I answered.
          “Good night, Haley. I’ll try not to murder jackass in his sleep.” I chuckled and bid him goodbye. I hung up the phone and Sarah moved over to the beds.
          “Who was that?” she asked, sitting across from me.
          “Benji,” I answered. She nodded and put her phone on the bedside table. “I told him I wouldn’t be coming home tonight.”
          “A wise idea, seeing as he’d call the cops or something. Send out a search party, you know, that whole routine.” I nodded and looked away. The shag carpeting was indeed shag. It looked like a bright blue English sheepdog was made into a hotel room rug. “I don’t mean to intrude, but it appears as if you and Joel had an argument.”
          “Yeah, we did.” I shrugged one shoulder. She reached for the remote and shut the TV off. I looked back at her and she took my hands.
          “What happened?”
          I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Joel has been seeing this girl named Layla behind my back for quite some time now. She’s my rival. She’s always perfect. She’s a cheerleader and she gets everything she wants. Joel knows all of this, but he can’t stay away from her. Friday, I heard him tell her that I meant absolutely nothing to him, that he was stupid to have dated me. I confronted him about it and he said he’d change. Then you came. And last night, you heard him. He didn’t even say my name. Benji did. I told him that Benji pronounced himself my protector and that Joel was ashamed to be with me. Then I came to you and that’s that.” I looked up at her and she nodded.
          “I know you very well, Haley. I know that you trust your friends deeply and you rely on them to help you, just as you help them. You hold your relationships with people in high regard. That makes you an extraordinary person. I don’t doubt you when you say you love your friends. I don’t doubt you when you say you love Joel. You don’t toss words around lightly. I know you’re hurt. And Joel should really make up his mind.” She paused and tucked a strand of wet hair behind my ear. "You’re a fantastic girl, Haley. You’re amazing. No one even compares to your brilliance and sparkling personality. I’ve never condoned my sister’s actions, but you were the best thing that ever happened to her.” She cupped my face in her hands and smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’ve loved watching you grow up. You personify everything I wish I could be. Don’t you ever let anyone drag you down, especially someone as fickle as Joel seems to be.” A tear rolled down my cheek and I launched myself into a hug. She held me closely and we cried together. I eventually fell asleep on her bed, with my head in her lap, and Jay Leno berating people on TV.

          Morning came and I arrived back at the Combs estate. I waved to Mrs. Combs as she pulled out of the drive in the Buick and I went into the house. Silence permeated the space and I smiled, tiptoeing down to the basement. My cap and gown were laid out on a secondhand dresser that must have been placed in my room last night. Joel was asleep on the bed, his journal next to him. I bit my lip and sat on my chair. I slid the book out from under his arm and opened to the last entry.

Last night was fantastic, but I was miserable. We won the contest and we record the demo over the summer. Haley and I got into another argument. She said I was ashamed to be with her. I don’t want to say she’s right because I don’t know if I am or not. I love being with Haley. I’ve loved her for all of my life. But Layla makes me feel things. Good things. It’s only a temporary happiness, though. When I’m with her, I think of Haley. When I’m with Haley, I’m filled with an indescribable sensation. It’s like God lifted me up and let me fly. Tomorrow is graduation. I have to tell Layla I don’t want to be with her. I have to make things right with Haley. I need to be with her. I need to let her know I love her, but how?

          I shut the journal and put it back. I laid a kiss on his forehead and got some fresh undergarments. I moved back up the stairs and went to shower. I cleansed myself and put my jeans and undergarments on. I went back down to my room and put on a T-shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror over the dresser. A kind of radiance flowed from me, casting a halo of light over my pale skin and dark features. My hair was slowly drying and I noted that my physique was of average build now, rather than the skimpy, barely there girl I had been a year ago. My body somehow fit together perfectly, the only thing that made sense in my life anymore. It seemed as if just a month ago I was an underrated, homely girl with nothing but a dream. Maybe I was, I don’t know. A smile washed over my lips. I was moving on with my life. I was graduating. I heard the cot creak and I instantly returned to my state of normal apathy. I fiddled with the tassels on the cap. I sensed Joel come up behind me, and he put his hands on my shoulders. “Happy graduation,” he whispered. I looked up into the mirror at us. We were the picture-perfect couple. Our bodies molded so well together, as if we were one person and then divided with a razor-sharp knife to become two separate people. I smiled at him through the mirror and he murmured an apology as he kissed the back of my neck. My eyes snapped shut and I felt a course of pleasure shoot through me. He took a step back and I opened my eyes. I turned around, ready to shout, when I saw my friends and new family there. I gasped and my aunt stepped forward.
          “Haley, we are so proud of you. You’ve come such a long way in your thirteen years of schooling and since today is a special day, we’ve all chipped in and gotten you something special to wear.” Benji held out a gift box and I took it. I untied the ribbon on top and opened the box. I lifted out a white kimono style dress with matching sandals. Tears rifted down my cheeks and I looked up at them all.
          “Thank you so, so much,” I whispered, laying the dress out on the gown and hugging my aunt tightly. Soon, we were all in a giant group hug, à la Brady Bunch.
          “We need to get over there,” Benji announced, removing himself from the pile. We all extricated ourselves from the hug and everyone left. Except for Benji. I arched a brow at him.
          “How do you expect me to change if you’re here?”
          “There’s one last thing.” He held out a long jewelry box. I opened it and a beautiful strand of pearls was there. “These were my mom’s. We had to sell them to a jeweler when we moved. I tracked them down and bought them back for you.” I put a hand to my mouth and looked up at him, tears flowing for a second time. “You’ll look beautiful.” He kissed my cheek and went upstairs. I changed into my dress and put my gown on. I combed my hair and pinned my cap to it. With my shoes in tow, I climbed the stairs and was ushered out to my aunt’s rental vehicle. She drove us to the school. Many people commented on my cleaned up look. Good for them. I don’t care what think, especially now that I’ll be leaving them forever and ever. Our principal called us to order and we formed our lines, ready to go and graduate from our childhood.

          The ceremony went by fairly smoothly. Everyone adored my speech. People laughed, people cried. I got a standing ovation for it. I was awarded with the highest rank award, as well as the Waldorf-Naptown Regional English Award. Damn straight I was the best English student in all of Maryland. What do you expect? We all received our diplomas and graduated. After the ceremony, I met up with my aunt and we hung around, waiting for all the imbeciles to finish congratulating me. After each recognition, we exchanged glances and it took all of our willpower to keep from laughing at their stupidity. I left my aunt’s side to go see Joel. He was standing by the exit of the auditorium and as I approached, Layla rushed up to him, trying feebly to kiss him. He pushed her aside and scowled a bit. “We need to talk.”
          “What is it, sugar pumpkin?” she asked, pouting her glossed lips. I sneered, but shrunk back into the crowd, hoping to still hear the conversation.
          “I can’t see you anymore.”
          “What?! Why!”
          “I’ve had a change of heart.” Here, he paused and sighed a bit. “I realized that by getting what I wanted, I ended up almost ruining the best thing I’ve ever had. Haley has always been good to me. She’s loved me when no one else would. She’s been to every single one of my band’s shows. She knows all the words by heart, she knows all the melodies and rhythms, she knows the sharps and flats of it all. She was there last night when we won the Battle of the Bands. She was in the front row, cheering us on. She lives in my basement, she baby-sits my sister, she cleans, she cooks. Layla, the bottom line is…I love her. This morning, I looked at her in the mirror and we just fit together. As if…“ He trailed off, contemplating his words.
          “We were molded together and someone took a razor-sharp knife and split us in two. Separated until the perfect moment,” I finished. He nodded, taking my hand. “And I love him, too.” She gaped at us, unaware of what to say or who to say it to. “Goodbye, Layla.” We walked off and I thought I heard her ask, “What band?” as we went to Sarah and Benji.
          “What was that about?” Benji asked as we moved to the car.
          “Just a little something I’ve needed to say since forever.” Joel and I shared a secret smile as we piled into the back of the Ford Escort.