Wrestling - Samkir Pfonektil of Ethiopia
I...I....cannot go on much longer. My belly of air goodness has stuffed me full of nothing but hunger pains. I wake myself up with the growl of my stomach, I think it is a lion come to take me away at night. At least in the beyond I can imagine rice and water with the promise of more rice and water whenever I wish. But then I also think why would a lion want to eat me? I have no meat on my bones, I am nothing but a toothpick. The Smartass people are finally sending me a TV and VCR to watch this wrestling. It should be here soon. Now all I need to know is, what is a TV and VCR? Am I supposed to eat it? I think it is rice and water goodness but I must not get my hopes up. They tell me the TV and VCR will finally tell me what wrestling is! I cannot wait! (To Be Continued)
TV the week in review - Mr T. and The Fonz
Mr T: Sucka! This week we gots another host with me cause T ain't truckin wit that sissy Sloth no mo! Welcome to the week in TV fool! This week we got The Fonz helping me out. Say hi Fonz!
Fonz: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Mr. T: Alright sucka, Monday got wrestling on, Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens and a whole lotta other crap that T don't watch!
Fonz: Aaayyyyyyyy, don't forget about Conan O'brien, T!
Mr.T: Good call sucka! Tuesday got all new 24 and Smallville on. Frasier and some other crap are on too for you fools with no taste!
Fonz: Correctamundo T. there's also new episdoes of NYPD Blue.
Mr.T: Damn sucka, I almost forgot about that. Wednesday has new shows Grounded for Life, That 70's Show and Smartass' new favorite show, Temptation Island!
Fonz: Temptation Island, those ladies would last one day with me T. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Mr.T: Right, fool, you ain't no jive turkey! That show got the ability to make ANYONE's life look good! Those suckas pathetic but Mr. T can't stand not to watch!
Fonz: Aaaaaayyyyyyyy, T you are so right! And to those critics that don't like the show all I have to say to you is sit on it! BUT, if you really don't like the show, watch Drew Carrey instead.
Mr.T: Fool, you ok in T's book.
Fonz: Hey thanks, T. You ain't so bad either. This brings us to Thurs...
Mr.T: Hey sucka! Don't be talkin away T's introductions! I pity the fool! Thursday has Friends, wrestling again, and Nick at Night reruns of A-Team and Happy Days!
Fonz: Aaaaaaayyyyyy, there's also that show Charmed, it's got some hot chicks on it.
Mr.T: Really?
Fonz: Yeah.
Mr.T: ...T's gonna have to check that one out fool! Friday has Norm, Celebrity Deathmatch, World's Scariest Polics Videos, and somethin called Farscape. T don't know what that is.
Fonz: Me neither.
Mr.T: Well, it's in the TV Guide so watch it sucka! Saturday don't got nuthin on, maybe some movies. You might as well pop in Penetentary II and kick back!
Fonz: Or Night Shift, Scream, or The Waterboy!
Mr.T: Fool, what you tryin to plug? Only T gets to plug his stuff!
Fonz: I don't think so T.
Mr.T: I pity the fool who steps to T. Fool, slow your roll! Alright, alright, we both get to plug. Which brings us to Sunday. Sunday got the Superbowl and Oz. T predicts Giants 17, Ravens 10!
Fonz: Don't forget about the new commercials. I can't get enough of them! But here's my prediction: Giants 31, Ravens 10.
Mr.T: Glad we both in agreement, sucka!
Fonz: Aaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy! Correctamundo!
Music Review of the Week - By Louis Frink
Last weeks "What I downloaded
from Kazaa" worked out so well I think that's what this article will
be about from now on. That is until I get a new album that I get for free
from a record company to review for you all. So without further ado, let's
go to the videotape!
Bread - Guitar Man - An old song I think from the 60's. Very low key but
very good. Along the lines of anything else you'd hear from that era but
it's worth a download if you have the time.
Dylan - Lay Lady Lay - Sleep Sleepy Sleep, that's the way I felt after
hearing this song! It's good but again, low key. If you like it, go out
and buy Dylan's Highway 61 Revisited, an excellent album!
Nina Gordon - Tonight and for the Rest of My Life - I thought this was
originally a new Modanna song when I first heard it, I don't know what's
going on with me this week and my soft, feminine tendencies with music
this week but it's a good song, for about a week. I know I'll get tired
of it soon.
The Last Dragon - I don't know if anyone's ever seen this movie, but it
follows the exploits of "Bruce" Leroy Greene and his adventures
in Harlem where he fights Sho-Nuff, the meanest, badest, prettiest, mo-fo-lo-bro
around town. Sho Nuff Inspired part of Busta Rhymes video Dangerous. Busta
REALLY looks like Sho Nuff. But anyway, this song is great! Very high
on cheese factor but if you like the movie then you know what I'm talkin
bout! Sho nuff!
Nightmares on Wax - Easejimi - You like funk? you'll like these guys.
This song seems to epitimize funk and cool to me. Definitly worth a listen!
So good I went out an bought the album so you know a review is coming
soon.So that's it for this week. Check back next week for more worthy
downloadable singles.
Sports - Lester Wilkins
No Sports of the week
this week as Lester Wilkins is off at divorce court proceedings. Check
back next week for Superbowl coverage!!!
Top DVD's
A new feature here at Smartass Entertainment! is DVD's. Here now is our nomminations for top honors of DVD's. If you don't agree, send in your nominations and why you think your choice should be included here with "Attn: Top DVD" in the header. These titles are tentative and will change depending on how many people submit suggestions
01. Fight Club
02. Evil Dead 2 (Collector's tin)
03. Gladiator
04. Matrix
05. Toy Story Box Set
06. SE7EN
07. Lord of the Rings (Fellowship of the Ring)
08. Mallrats
09. Clerks
10. Chasing Amy
11. X-Men 1.5
12. Way of the Gun
13. X-Files Box Sets(Seasons 1-6)
14. Sixth Sense (Special Edition)
15. Dogma
16. Ghostbusters
17. Terminator 2
18. Simpsons Season Box Sets 1-2
19. Rushmore
20. Scary Movie
21. Radiohead - Meeting People is Easy
22. Office Space
23. There's Something About Mary
24. Deuce Bigelow Male Gigilo
25. Frequency
26. Usual Suspects
27. The Killer
28. Starship Troopers
29. Transformers
30. Saving Private Ryan
31. American Pie
32. Heist
Beer of the Week
Back in college, I hated this beer until my senior year. I don't know why I hated this beer, I mean I was one of the few who used to LOVE Natty Light. They are pretty much the same, but then I saw Stone Cold Steve Austin of the WWF drink this beer week in and week out and of course, I had to emulate one of my heroes. He called them "Steveweisres," but they were Coors Light and the rest, as they say, is history.
