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March 20, 2002
Fear/Goodbye
USA has been showing "Fear" again. Even though I own this movie, it still seriously un-nerves me. It's probably because it's seems so close to what my real life was like and how it could have turned out. It just bothers me. I've been having nightmares again too. I mean, I thought I was over this. I'm still too ashamed to tell Mary. I don't want to drag her down with this. It's just unreal.
It took 4 and a half years for me to finally find a song that fit the moment of when I broke up with Mike. Well, more like, it took 4 and a half years for someone to actually write it down and sing about it. The song I'm talking about is "Goodbye" by KRYStAL harris. It just finally fits what happened then. How I felt, what was going through my mind, etc. I spent hours looking for a song when it happened and I never found one, until now. And after everything was said and done, I spent more time looking for songs that fit my life. I'm still looking and am now composing a CD with those songs on it.
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