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The next day, I had totally forgotten about what had happened the previous day. The one thing I couldn't forget was the MTV appearance; it was everywhere! Every time I turned on MTV, they were showing that clip of Brian asking me to be his girl. I had a couple of classes to go to in the morning, so I went to school. For some reason, people came up to me and kept asking, "Is it true that the Backstreet Boys are going to perform at the Colorguard fundraiser on Saturday?" All I could tell them was, "Where did you hear that? We're doing a Backstreet Boys song. The only way to find out for sure is to come and see for yourself." That afternoon, once I was home, I pulled out my box of stuff. This was stuff that either reminded me of or I had when I was with Mike.
I had just set the box down when there was a knock on my door. I opened it and there was my sweet Brian standing there. I stepped to the side to allow him to enter my apartment. When I closed the door, he started to talk to me.
"Shhh," I told him. I then walked over to where I had set the box down and sat down on the ground. Brian followed suit, not saying another word. I put on Boyz II Men's "II" and skipped it to "I'll Make Love to You." I lowered the volume so that it was barely audible. I then opened the box and started pulling things out of it. I set an 11 by 14 picture of Mike and I on the ground, followed by the front page of the newspaper with his picture on it. The newspaper was already starting to yellow. I pulled out a 3 by 5 index card that was also showing signs of age. I pulled out a little gray box from J.C. Penny's. Slowly I began to relate to him the story of all the things I had acquired. After an hour, I began putting the items back in the box. Brian now knew everything there was to know about me. If he still wanted me to be his girl, it was up to him.
I took the box back down to my room. Brian followed me and stood in the doorway as I shoved the box in my closet. When I walked by him, I brushed my hand against his. He followed me like a puppy dog. Once we were back in the living room, he said to me, "Do you have any slow songs?"
"I do. Why?"
"I kinda feel like dancing."
I rummaged around and found my Backstreet Boys CD. I put it in the CD player and set it to repeat the song "Darlin'." Brian took me in his arms and we slow danced for a while in my living room.
"This is one of my favorite songs," he told me.
"Mine too."
"So tell me, have you forgiven Mike for all that he's done to you?" he whispered in my ear.
"Gee, you know how to kill a mood," I said, pulling away from him.
"I'm not trying to kill anything," Brian said, pulling me back into his arms. "I'm just trying to understand you better."
"Yes, I have forgiven him," I said softly.
"Then why does he still linger in your mind?"
"What do you mean?"
"The nightmares, the panic attacks."
"How do you know about the nightmares?"
"Becca, you've slept over at the house with us. Every time you've woken up screaming. Do they go on all the time?"
"Just about every night. I guess my subconscious is telling me what I should have done."
"What about yesterday?"
"What about it?"
"You woke up from your nap thinking I was Mike, telling me that you weren't going to sleep with me."
"I did?"
"You did. What were you dreaming?"
"He wanted me to sleep with him again."
"Again?"
"Yes. I'm sorry to say I'm not a virgin. We did have sex. It's the only thing in my life I regret doing." I pulled away from him. "I hope this doesn't make you think less of me?"
"No, of course not." He put his hands on my shoulders. "Just because you're not a virgin doesn't mean we can't date."
"That's assuming I say yes."
He smiled. "I know. So why do you keep the newspaper?"
"I guess I'm hoping that he asked the Lord for forgiveness. I'm not really sure."
"Let's hope so," Brian said as he took me in his arms once more and we danced to "Darlin'" again. I rested my head against his chest, just savoring the moment. Here I was, with Brian's strong arms around me, dancing slowly to a Backstreet song. Life couldn't get any better if I planned it.
Just then, I heard a thump outside. "What was that?" I asked.
"Probably nothing," Brian said as he sat down on the sofa and pulled me down with him.
"Yeah, right." I said as I ruffled his hair. He looked at me when I did it. "You are so cute," I said.
"And you're not?"
"No," I said flatly.
"I bet I can make you laugh."
"Bet you can't."
"Oh yes, I can." He didn't even try any funny stuff, like falling down or funny faces. Instead, he reached over and started tickling me. I started laughing uncontrollably.
"No fair," I said, in between laughs. I squirmed out of his reach and stated heading towards my room. He quickly got a hold of me and started tickling me again. I slid down the floor wriggling and twisting. Just then I heard another thump. This time it sounded like it came from right outside my dining room window. "Now I know I heard something this time." I pushed Brian off of me and headed towards my front door. I opened the door and found Jen and Howie perched outside the window with a video camera. "What do you think you're doing?"
"Uh, uh, we, uh..." Howie stammered.
"It's my fault," Brian said.
"What?" I asked, turning around to look at Brian.
"I asked Howie and Jen to come and video record this."
"But why?"
"I can't tell you, not yet."
I placed my hands on my hips. "Why not?"
"Because it would ruin the surprise."
"Alright. But this footage better not end up on MTV."
"I can't promise that, but I do hope MTV doesn't get a hold of the individual footage. They'll probably get the finished product."
"Okay..." I raised an eyebrow at him and then ruffled his hair with both of my hands. He just closed his eyes and let me do it. "Since you both are here, can we practice 'Larger than Life'? Some people have been asking if you guys are going to perform at the talent show."
"What did you tell them?" Howie asked.
"That we were doing a Backstreet Boys song but they should come and find out for themselves."
"Oh yeah, Brian, here's that single you asked for." Howie handed Brian a small cardboard case that had a CD in it.
"Thanks." Brian then turned to me and said, "Here's the extended version of 'Larger than Life.' I thought we could do the performance to this version."
I looked at Jen, who nodded her head. I walked over to my CD player, popped the CD in and started moving furniture around. Howie, Jen and Brian all pitched in to help. Shortly we had a dancing space and began finishing up the routine.
While moving the furniture around, Howie almost stepped on a pinup of Jason Behr.
"Watch out!" I called. "You almost stepped on my hottie!"
Now it was Brian's turn to raise an eyebrow. "You're hottie?"
"Yeah," I breathed. "Jason Behr. He plays Max on 'Roswell.' He is such a hottie. Now if he had green eyes..." I sighed.
"So you watch 'Roswell'?" Howie asked.
"Every week," I said proudly.
"Well then you know the season finale is on Monday, right?"
"Yep."
"Well good. You'll get to see me."
It didn't dawn on me right away what Howie said, but Jen caught on quickly. "You're on 'Roswell'?" she asked excitedly.
"Uh huh. I dunno how much they'll show, but I am in it. They told me I wasn't going to end up on the cutting room floor and I think I impressed them."
I started to say something, but Jen cut me off, "Shut up, Becca." She turned back to Howie. "So, um, are you a good guy or a bad guy?"
"I can't tell you, you'll just have to watch and find out."
Jen wrinkled her nose at him. "Meanie."
"Um, Jen, we should get this routine finished before we go to practice tonight," I told her. She groaned and we started rehearsing.
By the time Jen and I had to go to guard practice, we pretty much had it all done. The last thing we had to do was get the costumes together. The boys said they would take care of that and we said goodbye, knowing that we probably wouldn't see them until the performance on Saturday.
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