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"So now what?" I asked, kneeling down to gather up the CD player and CD's.
"I thought we could work a little more and then go back to the B and B."
"Aren't you tired?"
"Me? Never."
"Alright, what were you thinking?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
"What makes you think I had any ideas?"
"Well, why else would you wanna keep on working?"
"Aw. I do have one more idea. It's for the next line in the song, 'Wisin' I could thank you in a different way, come on'."
"Yeah."
"Well, how 'bout we do this? We do the sway and then I turn you around. Those rocking moves you do we could do facing each other and I could dip you in an arc on 'come on'." He put his arms around my waist and we did exactly as he said. I was in heaven! Brian Littrell had his arms around my waist!
When I came up from the dip, I quickly slipped out of his grip and began putting the CDs away. I had tears in my eyes that I didn't want him to see. "I don't know if I can do this with you, Brian."
"Why? What's wrong?" Brian asked me.
"It's nothing," I said, standing up but keeping my eyes focused on my shoes.
Brian lifted my chin so that I was looking at him. "Really, what's wrong?"
"I'd prefer not to say."
"It's okay," he said, wrapping his arms around me. He held me for a moment and then let go.
"It's just that...well, I never thought that you would come all the way out here just to prove a point to me. Why are you here with me?" A tear slowly trickled down my cheek.
Brain laid his hand on my cheek and brushed the tear away. "That's not for us to ask. What does your heart tell you?"
"I can't trust my heart anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"I can't tell you."
"Alright." Brian and I said nothing more to each other until we got to my red Dodge Omni in the school parking lot.
"So where do you wanna go?" I asked Brian.
"Anywhere with you," he said as I looked at him cautiously under the harsh lighting of the streetlamp. "I don't wanna leave you tonight. Something's changed. Come back to the B and B with me."
"I don't think I should."
"I'm not asking. I'm not leaving you alone tonight."
"Where would I sleep?"
"You can sleep in my bed, I'll take the floor. Now get in the car, and drive." I complied and within a few minutes we were at Bidwell Bed and Breakfast. It was a small bed and breakfast with four guestrooms and three bathrooms. As we walked down the hallway, I noticed that there was no one else there. I questioned Brian about this.
"It was short notice for the owners, but they've accommodated us well. I happened to call on an 'off weekend'. If someone wants a room, they're told that the B and B is 'all booked'. No one but the owners, you and the colorguard team know we're here."
"Don't worry, I won't tell."
"Good." We stopped outside a closed door. "Hope you don't mind, Nick and I are sharing a room." He knocked on the door. "Hey Frack, female invasion."
"Hang on a sec," Nick said from the other side of the door. "Ok," he said a moment later.
Brian opened the door and motioned for me to enter. Nick was sitting in a chair at a desk dressed in a robe. "Hey Becca," Nick said, looking up from what he was doing.
"Becca's staying here tonight."
"Do you want me to go sleep on the couch?"
"No. I'm sleeping on the floor."
"Oh. Fine with me, Frick. I don't care."
"Ok, so now that we have the sleeping arrangements settled, what am I going to sleep in?" I asked. Brian reached into the closet and pulled out a Kentucky Wildcats sweatshirt. I took it from him and he pointed to a door across the room, indicating where I could go and change. I walked over and opened the door. The tiny bathroom was inviting. I stepped inside and closed the door. I changed quickly into the sweatshirt. As I pulled it over my head, I got a brief whiff of Safari, Brian's favorite cologne. The sweatshirt was blue, my favorite color, and was an extra-large, so it hung down to my knees. Being only four-foot, eleven does have its slight advantages. I was about ready to step out of the bathroom when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I looked horrible. It wasn't the color or the sweatshirt, it was me. I didn't like the way I looked. My brown eyes were red around the edges because I hadn't gotten much sleep over the past three days. I played with the nose ring in my left nostril until it was sitting the way I liked. My chin length brown hair was a total mess. I couldn't see how Brian could even stand to look at me. I opened the door and stepped out into the room.
Nick was still sitting at the desk in a robe playing solitaire. Brian had changed from the jeans, light blue shirt and jean jacket that he had been wearing earlier into plaid pajama bottoms and a white tank top. He was leaning over Nick telling him where to place the cards. He had his left hand resting on the back of the chair. From where I was standing across the room, I could see his cross tattoo with the phrase "Rock of Ages" written underneath it on his left shoulder. I cleared my throat. Brian and Nick turned around to look at me. "It's a little big," I said, holding out my arms. I smiled at them.
"It's good to see you smile," Brian said as he walked over to me. He put a hand on my shoulder. "You should get some sleep. It's been a long day for you." He led me to the twin bed closest to the door. He folded down the sheets and helped me into bed. "I'll be right here on the floor if you need anything. And we'll try to keep it down okay?"
I nodded and laid my head on the pillow. Brian leaned over me and kissed me softly on the forehead. He turned out the light on the nightstand. His hand had barely moved from the lamp before I slowly sat up and said to him, "Do you have your Bible with you Brian?"
"Always. Why?" he asked, turning the lamp back on.
"Psalm four, Verse eight."
Brian walked over to the desk and opened one of the drawers. As he walked back over to the bed, he flipped through the pages of his New King James Version Bible. He got down on one knee as he read the words to me: "I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." He closed the Book and set it on the nightstand.
I laid my head back on the pillow and said, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now get some sleep." He turned the light off once again. I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.
I was sitting on my couch at home watching television. I don't know what was on, but it was about eleven-thirty in the morning. Suddenly my Shetland Sheep Dog started barking. She always barked at everything, especially when it was just me at home. I was about ready to get up and go to the window to see who was there when I heard the sliding glass door open behind me. I was too afraid to move. I sat there motionless as a shoe, then a hand and then a face appeared from behind the vertical blinds. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw who it was. He came towards me and I still didn't move. He was my ex-boyfriend. He wouldn't hurt me. He sat down beside me, all the while talking about things. I don't know what he was saying. He placed his hands on my shoulders. I still didn't move. He pulled me into an embrace. My breath caught in my throat as he ran his hands up and down my back. He whispered in my ear, "I'm going to kill you." I started to scream. "NO! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! LET ME GO!"
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