Author’s Notes: Alright, the last episode, titled In the Clamor and the Clangor was great. It would have been better, however, if the minister hadn’t interrupted Luke and Lorelai and their argument had unearthed hidden feelings. I took it upon myself to write what surely would have happened had this infamous duo not ended their argument when they did.
Disclaimer: I don’t own G.G., not even a teensy weensy bit. I’m sorry, but it’s true.
Achivist's Note: This is rated PG.
***
“I care.” Lorelai shivered as Luke’s eyes went from angry to puzzled. She instinctively knew that she’d just crossed the line they’d drawn so many years ago when it came to things they did and did not say. She’d never before said anything to Luke about the way she felt for him, and as she waited for his response, she couldn’t help but wish she hadn’t opened her big, dumb mouth.
“Lorelai.” Luke’s voice was soft and husky. She hoped desperately that it would alter in pitch and become gruff and unyielding once more. That way she could make a witty retort instead of being forced to stare at him like a deer caught in the headlights. “Why?” he asked.
“I just do,” she said after a few seconds hesitation. She hoped it didn’t sound as pathetic as she thought it did.
Luke looked down at the floor as if it held the answers to Lorelai’s behavior. “That’s not good enough.”
“I can’t explain, Luke! I guess I’m just not used to all of this is all.”
“You weren’t ‘used to it’ when we switched from jelly donuts to glazed, but you didn’t harp on about that day in and day out!”
“You’re not a donut Luke,” she shouted, frazzled beyond belief. She had no idea what was about to happen, but she had a feeling it wasn’t pretty.
“I hadn’t noticed,” he bit back. “I sure as hell get treated like one.” He turned around and began to rummage through his toolbox. In actuality he was holding what he needed, but in the heat of the moment had failed to notice this minor detail.
Next to him, Lorelai’s eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth was hanging open. “I treat you like a donut? What the hell does that mean?”
“What it means,” growled Luke, “is that you only seem to ‘care’ about me when you feel that I could be getting a life.”
“How does that have anything to do with donuts?” Lorelai responded with equal fervor.
“Stop it!” Luke told her.
“Stop what?”
“Stop treating this like a joke. Better yet, stop treating me like a joke.” He went back to sifting through his tools. “Where is that thing,” he muttered angrily.
“In your hand,” Lorelai whispered. Her voice was laced with hurt due to his last comment.
Luke looked at his left hand. “Oh.”
“I don’t think you’re a joke,” she said after a pause. “I’ve never thought of you as a joke.”
Luke faced her again and she didn’t know whether to be thankful or worried. “You tell me you care and you don’t tell me why. You don’t like Nicole and you’re never given me a reason. You stand here and try to force me to admit I don’t like living with my girlfriend when all it will do is make things complicated for me. It’s not as if it’ll fix anything, will it? I don’t know why, Lorelai, but it seems like you don’t want me to be happy.”
Lorelai opened her mouth to protest, but Luke raised his eyebrows in mock anticipation of whatever she had to say. He seemed so positive about the whole thing, as if he really meant what he said. She didn’t like the idea of Luke meaning what he said. She felt safer around too-grumpy-to-be-true Luke. Unwittingly she began to wonder if he was right. Was it more than friendly concern that kept her from wanting him to make a life with Nicole instead of her?
Oh, shit.
She hadn’t meant to think that last bit. ‘Bad Lorelai,’ she mentally admonished, ‘this is so not the time for revelations!’
“I just wanted to break the bells,” she groaned aloud.
“Lorelai, this is it. You either tell me now why you’re making such a big deal out of this or you drop it once and for all.”
“Luke—”
“I mean it! You can’t have everything your way.”
A very irrational part of Lorelai wanted to ask Luke why she couldn’t have everything her way, but another, more sensible part registered the large, blunt object Luke seemed to be holding with a vice grip. “I don’t like Nicole,” she said.
“No, really?”
Lorelai put her hands up as if to stop oncoming traffic. “You asked me to tell you and I did!”
“Why, Lorelai?” asked Luke, exasperation in his voice. “Why don’t you like her?”
Lorelai realized she could end this now and save what little pride she had left. She could also take the plunge and probably say something stupid. “She’s all wrong for you, that’s why! She waltzed into Star’s Hollow with her whole holier-than-thou attitude, working for Taylor of all people, and the next thing you know you’ve jumped on a boat and married her.”
“That was a mistake,” said Luke.
“And why isn’t living with her now a mistake?”
Luke signed. “Because I can’t be alone forever, even if you seem to think that’s how I should spend the rest of my days here in this stupid town.”
“I want you to be happy!” Lorelai said, fighting back the urge to stamp her foot like a toddler. “I just don’t think Taylor’s lawyer can make your life on par with Cinderella’s post-shoe-fitting.”
“Why not? Tell me now or I’m leaving and you can break the damn bells yourself.”
Fear gripped her then. Luke’s threat sounded more serious than anything he’d ever said before, and that was taking into account the week in November six years ago when he’d cut her off caffeine. She had to say something—anything—to keep him from leaving. So she said the first thing that came to mind. “Nicole is evil. She’s trying to steal you away from me!”
Right. So, maybe she should have thought that out a little more.
An awkward silence inserted itself.
Lorelai reacted to moments like this by doing one of two things. She’d either run away or babble uncontrollably. This time she opted for the latter. “I don’t know where that came from. I’m sorry, Luke, I didn’t mean it. Obviously you’re not mine. You aren’t anybody’s. This is America, home of freedom and Starbucks and lots of other things like that! I swear I don’t believe you’re mine, or Nicole’s. Unless you want to be, it’s your choice. America is about choice, too—”
She almost missed his next words, so intent was she on talking until things were better. “Nobody could take me away from you,” he said.
She shut up immediately, and numbly met his eyes. They were kind and warm. She wanted, for some reason, to swim in them, which may have been somewhat strange but unusually enticing all the same. Her stomach flip-flopped and the urge grew.
“Did I ever have you to begin with?” She asked when her thoughts had become slightly less irrational.
“You never noticed?” he asked.
“I tend to be somewhat un-detail oriented.”
“Right.” He stepped a bit closer to her and stared at her. Just stared. He didn’t’ move or smile or anything. It was freaking Lorelai out.
“Luke?”
“Yeah?”
She smiled for the first time since they’d walked into the church. “Are you going to kiss me now?”
With a thud the wrench he’d been holding fell to the ground. She laughed and he couldn’t help but smile as well. He approached her slowly, as if all of this was a dream. “You are the strangest person I’ve ever met,” he whispered to her.
“Stop flattering me,” she told him.
And then she kissed him. He was surprised at first, but surprise gave way to a joy he’d never felt before. It was as if he’d found a piece of himself had been missing all his life and he’d never even noticed it before. It seemed impossible that the most complicated thing in his life was actually the most perfect. ‘If this is a dream, it’s not so bad…’ he thought before he stopped thinking all together.
For Lorelai the kiss was realization. Kissing Max, Christopher and Jason was exhilarating and breezy. It was fun and different every time. But Luke… With Luke it felt as if she’d been born for kissing him (Emily would have loved that idea.) Being with him felt right. And as cheesy as it sounded, it was coming home.
Just as the kiss deepened to a more…inappropriate stage (they were in a church, after all), the bells went off with a heavy clanging. They jumped apart and Luke tripped over the fallen wrench and went careening towards the wall. “Damn bells,” he growled. Lorelai only laughed and picked up the cause of his mighty tumble.
“You better get started,” she shouted over the ringing. “I don’t want to be here all night.”
Nobody in Stars Hollow knew that that night had been the last time the bells would ring for quite some time. They also didn’t know that two of their fellow citizens had been kissing as if there were no tomorrow, a juicy piece of gossip any inhabitant would have relished.
The next morning, as she was sitting with her coffee, Lorelai’s cell phone rang. It was Rory, and she was happy to hear from her, but her mind kept traveling back to the night before…
“Mom, are you okay?” Rory asked after a while.
“Yeah, fine. Why?”
“You just sound a bit distracted, that’s all.”
“I had a late night last night,” said Lorelai, a sly smile crossing her face. If only her little girl knew how interesting a night Mommy had had.