Irvington
Yesterday, as a result of more moonlighting, I had to be in Chester, NJ. Getting to Chester, NJ from Union, NJ (where I happened to be) is easy. You get on 78 West from the Parkway and take it to 287 North.

Getting to 78 West turned out to be trickier than I thought, though. You see, the signage in Jersey is sketchy at best. Signs fall down, are covered with the foliage of the Garden State, or are simply stolen/graffitied over.

From the Garden State Parkway (which, I think we've established is the road I use the most), you exit onto 78 East and then follow the signs through Irvington to get back onto 78 West. The only problem? The signs disappear once you're in Irvinton.

For those of you unfamiliar with Irvingon, NJ, let me just say this: When I was a nanny I lived in Maplewood, NJ and had other nanny friends. We used to go out clubbing in Hoboken and NY and we had a great time. Once, though, while driving back from Hoboken we got lost in Irvington. We eventually found our way home, but the next morning when I was relating the tale to my kids' parents, Jim (the dad) replied with a stern, "That is NOT a place where four girls should be getting lost in the middle of the night."

So there you go. I had been warned. And last night it wasn't so much that I was the only white person, it was that everyone around me looked pretty tough. Well, a lot tougher than I looked or am. And I was alone. Driving a ratty old pick up truck. And I couldn't find the sign directing me to 78 West. So, I ended up driving up and down Chancellor Avenue for a while thinking the sign was there and I had simply missed it. But no. By this time I had broken out into a cold sweat and was tracing the numbers of my cell phone with my thumb. If I have to I can call for help, I thought.

Eventually, I gave up looking for the missing sign and took the turn back toward 78 East. Thinking that there'd be another opportunity to loop around and get on 78 West I tooled along in rush hour traffic, knuckles white on the steering wheel, wondering what I was going to do.

Then, I saw it. The sign for Newark Liberty International Airport. I know what you're thinking. The airport? But yes. You see, in Jersey, all roads converge at the airport so I took the exit, looped through Terminal A and back out again, saw the sign for 78 West and was on my way.

The lesson here? If you're lost in Jersey, get to the airport. It may be the only thing between you and the delights of Irvington, NJ.