If it were only true...
"In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews," [Britney] Spears wrote on her site. "It will be expressed solely through art."

Bwahahahahahahahaha!! Tears! The tears are blurring my vision! I can't see! Dear God, can it be? Is she really calling what she does...ART?!

Ah, Britney. All I can do is shake my head at your poor simple stupidity.

I knew I liked PETA
"Lopez may try to convince her fans that her rabbit-trimmed jackets are a must-have, but what she won't tell you is that bunnies killed for fur coats scream as they are skinned alive!"

ANOTHER Open Letter to Michael Jackson
Dear Michael,

If people think you like having kids in your bed, reminding them of your sleepwear might be a bad idea. It just isn?t good sense.

Love,
The World

Funnily enough, when I did a Google search of ?Michael Jackson + pajama pants? the number of links that didn?t have anything to do with this past week was truly frightening. And the picture attached to the above link? Yikes. His skin is pulled so tight that he looks like a freaking mummy. Michael? Please go away. I don?t want to deal with you anymore

Parker Posing
Can I be the first to comment on how utterly annoying and bitchslap-worthy Sarah Jessica Parker is in the new Gap commercial?

I mean, the one with her and Lenny was awesome. But this? SJP prancing around singing about how pretty she is?

I?d rather stab myself in the eye with a fork than see it one more time.

I Hope the Liberal Media Knows About This
From this morning?s New York Times:

Under the Bush administration, the federal government has aggressively used a well-established tool of public relations: the prepackaged, ready-to-serve news report that major corporations have long distributed to TV stations to pitch everything from headache remedies to auto insurance. In all, at least 20 federal agencies, including the Defense Department and the Census Bureau, have made and distributed hundreds of television news segments in the past four years, records and interviews show. Many were subsequently broadcast on local stations across the country without any acknowledgement of the government's role in their production.

This winter, Washington has been roiled by revelations that a handful of columnists wrote in support of administration policies without disclosing they had accepted payments from the government. But the administration's efforts to generate positive news coverage have been considerably more pervasive than previously known. At the same time, records and interviews suggest widespread complicity or negligence by television stations, given industry ethics standards that discourage the broadcast of prepackaged news segments from any outside group without revealing the source.

~~

You know what my favorite part of this "Wag The Dog" senario is? That Pubs will be all over this story, calling the NYT a rag and pointing at it as if to prove their claims of a Liberal Media.

Newsflash: The media is only as liberal as the rich, powerful and conservative moguls who own them.

One Last Kick to this Dead Horse
From FactCheck.org

In a new TV ad, Progress for America exaggerates the true state of Social Security's finances by comparing it to the Titanic. The ad claims the system will go "bankrupt" if nothing is done and that we must rescue the program "before it hits the iceberg." Actually, neutral experts predict the system can pay between 70 and 80 percent of currently scheduled benefits even if the Trust Fund is exhausted, which isn't predicted to happen for another 37 years, at least.

The ad also touts Bush's plan for "voluntary personal retirement accounts" as though that would improve the system's finances. But even the White House now acknowledges that individual accounts alone do nothing to fix the system's long-term financial shortfall.

~~

The lies just keep getting bigger and bigger and no one seems to care.

Social Security Stage Craft
Now Playing: Annie Lenox
I just read this article in Newsweek and it only served to solidify my first impressions of Bush's Stump-fest a week ago.

Here is my favorite quote:
"Bush received respectful coverage from the town's newspaper, the Westfield Leader, which said the meeting was simply meant to "gauge opinions of New Jerseyans." In fact, a day before the event, an advance team of White House officials held a dress rehearsal for the participants so they could fine-tune their testimonials. They do this before each show, usually with a stand-in playing Bush. It helps the people "say things clearer," says one FreedomWorks member."

Two Miscellaneous Thoughts
From the Center for American Progress:

CULTURALLY INSENSITIVE RIGHT-WING QUOTE OF THE DAY: "We don't do Lincoln Day Dinners in South Carolina.?It's nothing personal, but it takes awhile to get over things." ? Sen. Lindsey Graham, explaining that, in his opinion, South Carolina is still reeling from the Emancipation Proclamation. His thought process was probably news to at least 30 percent of the state's population, which is African-American.

~~Doesn't this just warm the heart? And people wonder why there's still so much racial tension in the South.

~~

MILITARY ? FLUNKING THE DOVER TEST: It's common knowledge that the Bush administration has banned photographs of caskets of U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq, but Salon reports the Bush administration appears to be pursuing a similar strategy with the wounded, "who are far more numerous." According to Salon, the Bush administration continues to engage in a concerted effort to hide dead and wounded soldiers from the American public. Flights carrying injured soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan only arrive in the United States in the dead of night, under the cover of darkness. Soldiers are then taken to Walter Reed or Bethesda Navel Medical Center in ambulances or "unmarked black vans." Photographs are prohibited. The wounded soldiers are then unloaded at back entrances, not the common entrances closest to the emergency rooms. The result is that images of wounded soldiers continue to be "extremely scarce."

~~Gosh, I wonder why the government doesn't want us to see the wounded. Could it be that they're worried we might start thinking for ourselves?

Does This Sound Like a Desperate Cry For Attention to Anyone Else?
Now Playing: Crashtest Dummies
Crowe Says al-Qaida Wanted to Kidnap Him.

Really, Russell? You don't think al-Qaida has better things to do? I think al-Qaida is laughing their asses off in a cave somewhere over this story. I mean, really. You're a good actor, but you're a bit high-maintenence.

Oh, and also? Get over yourself.

Party for the President
A few days ago I went to hear the President talk about Social Security. I brought along a little notebook where I took notes. Here are those notes:

March 4, 2005

I?m sitting on a shuttle bus half-filled with people taking us to the Westfield Armory. At the Armory, we will hear President Bush talk to us about his plan to save Social Security. The event is being billed as a "Town Hall Meeting". I am surrounded by Republicans and for the first time since I discovered I'd have to attend, I am happy at the prospect. I find myself curious about what the day will bring. Will it be a pep rally or a real dialogue about the pros and cons of the situation?

~~

I?m standing in the longest line ever to get into the building and a group of secret service types just walked past us and it was like a scene from Reservoir Dogs. They were way too cool to be looking at us but we stared openly as they strode by with their ear pieces, heavy overcoats and shades.

~~

It?s freezing out here in this damn line. The SWAT Team just showed up and we all had to move out of the way so that they could get by with their armored vans. The Marines are here and the Army, too. I wonder where the hell the Navy and the Air Force are. Slackers.

~~

I totally should have brought a book.

~~

I?m finally inside and it?s a madhouse. I ran into someone I know while I was trying to find a seat. She and her husband arrived here this morning at six and then stood out in the cold until the doors opened at eight. I finally found a seat way in the back, about level with the camera crews. The mood is decidedly jubilant.

~~

There?s a blowhard sitting behind me who will not shut up.

~~

I really, really, really, really should have brought a book.

~~

Lot?s of people brought their kids and all the little boys are dressed in collared shirts and sweater vests. It?s like an Alex P. Keaton fan club meeting in here.

~~

Blowhard is still not shutting up.

~~

I?m starting to get hungry.

~~
~~

At this point I ran into someone I knew and couldn?t make any more notes but later, on the ride back to my car on the shuttle bus this is what I wrote:

Pep Rally. Total freaking pep rally. People were yelling, hooting, screaming, hollering, chanting! ?George Bush! clapclapclap! George Bush! clapclapclap!? Or ?Four More Years! Four More Years!? Or, as was the case of the blowhard behind me, sporadic bursts of ?YEAH!? peppered throughout the event.

Bush first touched on the mid-East and the spread of democracy, but then really got going on Social Security. The ?panel? he had up there with him was a perfect cross-section of America. He had a middle aged woman who is a professor at Wharton Business School, a retiree from Long Island, a mother with five kids, a Latino fire fighter who also owns his own real estate business, and a 23-year-old business man.

All were heavily in favor of Bush?s plan. I know, I was shocked, too.

I kept waiting for someone to ask a question and really get the ?Town Hall Meeting? part of the event going, but it never happened. Bush talked, then he gave the mike to each of his panelists and they parroted him and then it was over. OVER!

I guess I'm not sure why I'm surprised. Way back when I first heard about this I flippantly remarked to someone, "We'll go, he'll lie, I'll be back for lunch." Who knew I would be so close to the truth?

Because some of the roads here are closed, the shuttle buses are awkwardly trying to navigate the narrow streets of this little Jersey town. One of my fellow passengers just said of a sad group of straggely protestors, ?Run ?em over!? Now THAT?S compassionate conservatism. Really warms the heart.

It must be really nice to be a Republican. You never have to worry about anyone but yourself and your biggest fear is that the libs might get into power and try to give some of your money away to the undeserving poor.