She comes into the diner the morning after his first date with Nicole. He eyes her warily, waiting for a comment about cellphones or shaving, or maybe just a cheap lawyer joke. Instead, she sits at the counter, holding a small black object, pouting. "I just got the hang of using this stupid Palm Pilot, and now it's all broken."
"Did you try new batteries?"
"It has a charger. It just stopped working." She looks up at him with huge, solemn eyes.
He knows his cue. "Give it here," he says, feigning annoyance. She smiles and hands it to him.
Sometimes he suspects that she invents things for him to fix, just to make sure that he is still there to fix things for her, that she will not be alone when things break. He has, on more than one occasion, arrived at her house to find that this or that "broken" appliance mysteriously repaired itself overnight.
This is not one of those times. He peers at the edge of the small electronic gadget; the case has come apart a little, exposing green circuitboard.
"How many times did you drop this?" he asks.
She looks guilty. "Drop is such a strong word, don't you think?"
"So? Pick another."
"I didn't drop it, I... freed it."
"From the captivity of your hand," he suggests.
"Exactly!"
"At which point it made a beeline for the freedom known as the floor, I get it. How many times?"
"Twice," she sulks. "Wait, does dropping it on a carpeted surface count?"
He sighs, mostly for dramatic effect, and gets out a set of jewelers' screwdrivers, used most recently to tighten the arms of Lorelai's favorite sunglasses. He carefully snaps the gadget's case back together and tightens the tiny screws. Flipping it over, he locates the power button, and is rewarded with a To-Do list on the screen. He can't help scanning the list:
-Buy black tights, milk
-Clean bathtub
-Get Luke or other large male to change water bottle
-Payroll
-Arrange private meeting w/Bono to discuss int'l political situation
-End world hunger
-Write Pulitzer Prize-winning novel
-Pick outfit for date w/Alex...
He yanks his eyes away from the last item, hands the Palm Pilot back to Lorelai. "Fixed", he says, and turns away so she won't see the look on his face.
"You're my hero," she says, and he knows that it's true, but it's not true enough. If it was, she would not be dating this Alex person, and he would not be dating Nicole in an effort to get Lorelai Gilmore out of his head once and for all.
***
After the day she stops calling him Duke, it takes another full year for him to realize he is falling for her.
It is the Fourth of July, and he is with Lorelai and Rory and Sookie and some other people at the park, where they will watch the fireworks later. It is not a date; no. She simply informed him that he was coming with them. It was easier not to argue.
But now Luke and Lorelai are playing frisbee, while Rory reads and Sookie fusses over the grill, and Luke is thinking about the color blue. The frisbee is blue. Lorelai is wearing cutoff shorts and a halter top that is blue, the color of the blue sky. And then Luke thinks about the fact that he and Lorelai both have the same startlingly blue eyes, and he finds himself trying to remember back to high school biology, a chart having to do with eye color and genetics, because he is wondering if their children would have blue eyes, too.
Wait a second. Their children?
He, Lucas Danes, is in trouble. This was not supposed to happen; it was so not supposed to happen that he never even considered the possibility until it was too late.
He is still trying to think his way out of it, to make it not true, as they watch the fireworks later. She notices; she touches his arm and asks him what's wrong. He smiles and shakes his head. He doesn't trust himself to speak. She smiles back.
***
Lorelai comes back that night. Luke wonders where Rory is. They need a buffer right now. Doesn't Lorelai realize this?
But Lorelai bounces up to the counter, oblivious. "Thanks again for fixing my Palm Pilot," she says.
"Sure."
"Hey, how was your date last night? What was her name again?"
"Nicole. And it was fine, thanks."
"Just fine?"
"For a first date, it went surprisingly well."
"I'm glad to hear it. It's nice to see you dating," she says, but something flashes in her eyes.
"Yeah, you too," he says.
"Hmm? Oh, Alex? Yeah, he's nice."
"That's good to hear."
"Can this conversation get any more inane?" asks Kirk, sitting two stools down.
"Shut up, Kirk," they say in unison. He holds up his hands and goes back to his book. He is reading Moby Dick.
Luke tops off Lorelai's coffee, and Lorelai leans over towards him, says, in a lowered voice, "So, I know it's only been one date and all, but do you think she's, you know, the one?"
Luke is startled by the question, and the word "No," comes out of his mouth before he can think about it. Lorelai's eyes flash again. He is flustered, so he says "What about you, is Alex the one?", and he can't quite keep the contempt out of his voice.
Their eyes meet. He silently dares her to lie. She glances down. "I don't know," she says. "Maybe."
Luke exhales, angrily puts the coffee pot back on the burner. "Well, like my old man used to say, sometimes you've just gotta take whatever you can get."
Lorelai looks unhappy at that, but just says, "Yeah."
***
It must be said that Luke has tried, a couple of times, to ask Lorelai out on dates. In between Max, and Christopher, and Max again and Christopher again, he tries. He can't quite get up the nerve. He gets close, but he sees the look in her eyes, the look that says "Don't. Don't mess up the friendship," and so he doesn't. Or at least, he tells himself that's the reason. Fear is closer to the truth. He wants her too badly to risk rejection.
(And this is exactly why he was able to ask out Nicole; he didn't have much to lose. With Lorelai, he is constantly on the edge of losing everything.)
And Rachel shows back up, and for a time he forgets he is in love with Lorelai. It feels so good to have someone else's arms around him again, to make love again, to not be alone, that he forgets.
But after a couple of weeks, he notices Rachel studying him when she thinks he's not looking. She looks puzzled. Luke wonders what questions she is asking herself; he assumes at least one of them is When is the next bus out of this hellhole, and he panics a little at the thought, but not as much as he expected to. In fact, he gets comfortable with the idea rather quickly.
Later, he finds out Rachel was actually puzzled by the question of Luke and Lorelai.
Join the club, he thinks, as he stares at the empty space where Rachel's backpack used to be.
***
Luke cannot quite believe that he is standing here, putting in the new water bottle the delivery service has left for Lorelai. Let's face it, I'm just another item on her to-do list, he thinks, and he is wondering how he feels about this as he carries the empty bottle outside to be picked up next time. As he is walking back, Lorelai is coming outside, and she stumbles on the bottom step of the porch. Luke automatically reaches forward to steady her, and she catches her balance with an arm on his shoulder. And for just a moment, they are standing there with his arm around her waist and her arm around his shoulder. They are standing there with their arms around each other. And though they have touched before, it just keeps getting harder and harder.
He remembers wrestling with her the other night, when she was outraged over Nicole's cellphone. Even though she was annoying him, it was funny, and cute, and he loved every second of it and suddenly he imagines holding her down and tickling her. She'd probably put up a pretty good fight.
Then the second is over and they disengage.
Lorelai laughs nervously. "Have you ever thought about parallel universes?" she asks.
"Huh?"
"You know, alternate universes, where things happen differently from this one."
"You mean, like an alternate universe where you're a little more coordinated and don't insist on having your water kept in a giant bottle like a big hamster or something?"
"No!" she exclaims, and he realizes this has been a setup. "But wow, that would be a really big hamster. No, I mean a universe where I'm actually a superhero. Like, a vampire slayer or something."
"Like that television show?"
"Yes, only less depressing and with a better wardrobe. But I would have super Slayer strength, and I could change my own water bottle!"
"So, let me get this straight. You want to have vampire slayer powers, but only so you would be strong enough to change your own water bottle?"
"Yes, but my point is, in some other alternate universe, I already do."
"Uh huh," he says.
"Well, it sounded better in my head," she admits.
"I'm sure many things do," Luke replies.
She pouts. "Well, what would happen in your alternate universe, then?" she asks. And he looks at her, wondering if she really wants to know, and then they're having yet another of these moments where things have accidentally gotten too serious, too real. But he holds his gaze, doesn't look away.
She drops her eyes first.
"I've gotta go," he says.
***
It must also be said that, when he found out that Lorelai was engaged to be married, he went a little insane. Just not in a really obvious way; not so's you'd notice. He disliked Max on sight, even before he knew. And after he knew, he started making up scenarios in his head:
Lorelai comes into the diner, and says "I could never marry Max, Luke. You know that. And you know why." Lorelai runs into his waiting arms.
Or...
Luke arrives just in time to stop the wedding. Yes, as a matter of fact, he does know a reason these two should not be married. Lorelai runs into his waiting arms.
Or...
Luke discoveres that Max is secretly dealing drugs to the students at Chilton. Luke tells the authorities and is hailed as a hero. Max, free on bail, tries to shoot Luke, but Luke knocks him out with a baseball bat. Lorelai runs into his waiting arms.
When the scenarios start getting violent, he knows he should do something to get his mind off of it. But there is nothing to be done. He idly taps the countertop with Rachel's latest postcard. Maybe he will close up this diner for good, once Lorelai is married, and go find Rachel. Maybe.
But then Lorelai is not getting married after all, and it doesn't happen in any of the ways he pictured, but it's good enough for him.
For now.
Chapter Two
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