Billy's Godchild
Disclaimer: I do not own Billy Boyd, nor have I met him. I do own, however, everyone else in this story.
He goes up the stairs slowly. No
one’s been there for years. Many coatings of dust from many years flutter up
then settle as each foot hits a new stair. He slowly opens a door. It creeks and
swings open with just a touch of his hand. Stepping into the attic he sees the
few items that were left there and forgotten. A cardboard packing type box, some
simple lamps and a little ornamental box. He goes to the cardboard box and opens
it, coughing slightly as the newly aroused dust goes up his nose. Sweat slowly
forms on his brow and his loosely buttoned up shirt starts to stick to his chest
and back. He only takes two things: An old album from the cardboard box and the
ornamental box. Without another look back he leaves the house.
“What do you mean your leaving?
You’re never here!” I exclaim to my foster sister. “I’m sorry! I need to
go this time! You’ll be fine here for a week! It’s not like you haven’t
done it before!” Samantha replies. “I don’t’ want to loose you too
though.” I cry. “Oh honey, you won’t. I promise I’ll be back in a week.
But this is really important. If I get this all right we’ll be gone. Outta
here. Forever. We’re gonna leave here and go away. Far away. You’ll be fine
ok? I’m just a cell phone call away.” And with that, and a kiss on the
forehead, Samantha leaves, never to be seen again by her 17 year old foster
sister.
Billy Boyd sits down at his dining
room table with a long forgotten album. “Let’s see….. Dear lord it’s
been way too long.” He says. Opening the first page, memories flood back to
him. His college days, his first love, his best friend Nick, everything he had
forgotten because of getting caught up in his career. Sighing he looks at the
wedding pictures. He was Nick’s best man. Billy still couldn’t believe how
lucky Nick had been to find such a beautiful woman. And at 34 he, Billy Boyd,
was still a bachelor. Formal pictures of them under the lattice in the garden
Nick and Angela were married in and some ones of the party afterward. He turned
a couple pages and saw them in front of an alter. The baptism of Jasmine,
Nick’s first born. He remembers the conversation just a week before that
picture was taken.
Flashback:
The
phone rings and Billy picks it up. “Hello?” he asks. “Billy! It’s
Nick.” Says a familiar voice. “Oh hey! What’s going on?” replies Billy.
It had been almost a year since they last talked. “Well we just had our first
child about 3 months ago.” Is the reply. “Wow congradulations mate.” Billy
exclaims. A baby, wow. “Yeah thanks. We’re real proud. Perfect little girl.
And, uh, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind coming down here for the
baptism.” Nick says, unsurely. He knows how busy Billy is right now. “I’d
love to.” Billy replies, always eager to see his friends again. “And uh,
would you mind agreeing to be her godfather?” Billy is a little ataken back.
He wasn’t really that religious. “You’re my best friend and I can’t
think of anyone better. Will you please man?” says Nick a little more
earnestly. “I’d be honored mate.” Billy says. So he flew down there and
became Jasmine’s godfather.
He sighs. That was a long time
ago. The pictures ended soon after that. He went off and never saw Nick again,
except for a few phone calls every now and then. He finds a piece of paper with
recent phone numbers. He wonders a minute to himself then reaches to pick up the
phone. But as he puts his hand on it, it rings. “Hello?” he asks. “Hello,
Mr. Boyd?” someone asks. “Aye.” He replies, thinking it’s another
telemarketer.
The phone rings that night. I
reach for it eagerly, thinking its Samantha. I was given to a foster family when
I was seven and didn’t move at all. Sam was the only person who was old enough
to look after me after her parents died in a car accident. She was 18 then and
didn’t want me to leave her. I was the only one left. I pick up the phone and
say excitedly, “Hello?” a strange voice answers me. “Hi, is this
Jasmine……. Bracken?” it asks. “Yes. Who is this?” I ask, a little
annoyed. “This is the Department of Transportation. Jasmine how old are
you?” she asks. “I’m 16.” I reply. “Ok, now I hate to tell you this
but your sister’s plane crashed this afternoon. I’m sorry. We’ve contacted
your godfather and he will be picking you up in a few days at the bus
department.” She says. I’m blank. “There must have been a mistake ma’am.
No,” I say. “I’m sorry honey. I’m really sorry. Is there anything we can
do to help?” she replies. “Yeah! Get me my sister back!!!!” I scream and
slam down the phone. I start to cry. I just collapse and cry. It can’t be
true. It just can’t. Half an hour later the phone rings again. I don’t
answer it. “Hello, Miss Bracken? This is the Department of Transportation.
We’re gonna have a taxi pick you up at your home tomorrow morning at noon.
Your bus ticket will be at the station, ready for you at 1:30. Your bus will
arrive to your godfather’s town at 3:30. He will meet you there. If there are
any questions, please call us at…….” They trail off some phone number. I
drag myself up and get packed, not believing anything that they have said, tears
still running down my cheeks.
“Sir, this is the Department of
Transportation.” She says. “It wasn’t my car.” He replies automatically.
“No sir, it’s about your godchild.” She replies. “My godchild?” he
replies, looking at the picture of him holding her after the baptism all those
years ago. “Yes sir. She has lost the last member of her family today and you
will need to pick her up at the bus station tomorrow at 3:30. I’ve contacted
her and all the transportation charges are on us. I’m sorry for the short
notice sir.” She replies. “Yes, thank you.” He replies and hangs up. His
godchild that he never met is coming to stay with him. She lost who then? He
looks around his apartment. “Shit. I need to clean.” He says and starts.
Getting out of his car, he stands
around the terminal waiting nervously. How would he know it was her? Would she
look anything like Nick or Angela? He runs his fingers through his hair
haphazardly and plays with his shirt tail. A bus stops. He looks up. Out trail
people, mostly older ones. A girl, decked out in hundreds of earrings and
tattoos exits. He hopes it isn’t her. He’s right; she heads past him to
another man. He doesn’t see anyone else that could be her. He turns away,
trying to think what could have gone wrong. He remembers the last time he saw
them she was only 5…….
Flashback:
“Billy!
You home mate!” he hears Nick yell. “Oy! In here bud!” Billy calls. A
little girl with reddish hair runs to him. “UNCLE BILLY!” she yells as she
hugs his legs in a vise grip sort of way. He picks her up, tosses her with a
chuckle and catches her as she falls.
“Hey are you my godfather?” he
hears a young voice ask, a little harshly. He turns back. He doesn’t see that
little girl anymore. Standing before him is a teenager with that same red hair,
green eyes and a frown. She’s decked out in raver type pants and a purple
shirt with a faerie on it. “So are you?” I reply, shifting my bag a little.
“Are you Jasmine?” he asks. “Jaz.” I reply shortly. He nods. “I’m
Billy your godfather. God you look so much like Angela but with Nick’s
hair.” He replies. Daggers form in my eyes, as tears shortly follow.
“Don’t you dare mention them. AT ALL.” I say threateningly. He backs away
from me a little. “Uh…. Ready to go?” he asks. I nod and pick up my bags.
“I’ve got them.” I say hastily when he asks if he can help me. I get into
his car and we go back to his house, and my new home.
I open the door and shove my stuff
in. It’s a nice house. I compliment it to him and he thanks me. “It’s not
much but I like it.” He shows me to my room. “If you’re anything
like…… uh, I thought you might like this room.” I really like it. Has a
balcony and everything. A light shade of lavender coats everything from the
walls to the carpet and chairs. “Well, I’ll let you get settled in and is
pizza ok for dinner tonight?” he asks, unsure of what to say next. I nod and
turn to get unpacked. “If you ever want to talk, I’m here. You can trust
me.” he says before leaving. A great sadness filled my heart. I wanted to turn
and run to him, crying, saying that it was my entire fault, for everything. But
when I did turn, he was already downstairs.
An hour later, I put the last
picture on my bureau. I’ve lost everything, my friends, the last person I ever
knew as family, my being. I sit down and say to myself, “Don’t cry. Be
strong. That is what Sam would tell me.” I look into my bag and see I had
forgotten one thing. I pull out the photo album of my former life and put it
under my bed. The wounds were too fresh. I couldn’t do it to myself. I go
downstairs and see Billy getting on his jacket. “Going to pick it up. Want to
come?” I knew he meant the pizza. “No I’m cool here.” I reply. He shrugs
and mutters something about the bastards wouldn’t deliver. It makes me smile.
I go into the kitchen and look around. It’s a nice kitchen, nice and big with
an island in the middle of it. I open the fridge and see that he’s a big one
on fine wines and beer. The whole bottom is stocked. Then I notice the Mountain
Dew. I remember the first time I went out for a real sister date with Sam.
Flashback:
“You
shouldn’t have gotten that.” Sam says. We were at some grinder place and I
insisted that we get a drink to share. Well I had drunken most of it and was
bouncing off the walls. By the time we had gotten home I was ready to just run
around the street screaming like a maniac. She just stood there laughing and
talking about my sugar intake. “Oh my god, I am in love with this soda!” I
screamed at about 11at night. By that time the neighbors were getting sick of it
and yelled at us.
I laugh quietly to myself and set
the table. I hear the door open and Billy come in. “Wow, thanks.” He says
when he sees the set table. We eat and I hear the door. “Ill get it.” I say
quickly, getting up and running to the door. I open it and see exactly what I
wanted. “You Jasmine…. Uh,” says a man. I nod and sign the paper. “Thank
you.” I say and take the two things. I try to get them up to my room quickly
and just make them in the door as Billy comes up. “What was that?” he asks
curiously. “Nothing, just something I had shipped to me. Wouldn’t of fit on
the bloody train.” I reply. “Feel like a movie, or do you want to just go to
bed. You’ve been through a lot and uh…..” he says. “Sure.” I reply. We
go down and flip through the channels. “Feel like talking?” he asks me after
an hour of some old movie. I look at him. “Sure, why not.” I reply. Truth is
I don’t want to talk, but he’s gonna find out sooner or later. “Mum and
Dad died when I was 7. Car accident. I had a theatre production and they tried
to get there. It was too wet and they slipped and went over the brigde. It was
always my fault. I had no one else so I was put up for adoption. A nice family
took me and everything went perfect up until about 3 years ago. They went away
and never came back. Police told us that they were found dead, in a closet. Some
ex friend or lover or something of one of them. So it was just me and my foster
sister Sam. They were gonna separate us but since she was 18, she said no. We
lived in the same house. But I basically grew up on my own. Sam worked for some
company that sold real estate or something for stars. I never really understood
it. When she was home we would go out and do stuff. Well she had to go to
Florida and her plane crashed. They, I guess, were gonna put me up again but
then they found you. So I have lost everyone. That explain anything?” I say,
now angry. The wounds were almost healed but now they felt new again. Tears were
deluging down my cheeks. I didn’t care. I just wanted them back. That would
never happen. Not now. “I’m so sorry Jaz. I really am. Your father was my
best friend. I was there for him every time. Come here lassie.” he beckons me
to him and holds me tightly. “It’s all my fault. My entire fault……..”
I say over and over into his chest. He rubs my back soothingly. “No, it
isn’t. Things happen. Don’t say that. Life is a bitch, and you just have to
put up with it. We’ll do something tomorrow. You and me. You wanna?” he asks
me, after I had calmed down a bit. “Sure, why not.” I reply sitting up,
reluctantly. I didn’t want to leave the safeness I felt as he held me. He
smelt good and I felt that nothing could’ve gone wrong. “Now I think you
should get to bed.” He says, getting up. “Fine.” I reply, getting up as
well. I hug him and head upstairs, leaving him to think alone.
I’m running,
running down a long hallway. There’s a door, but it’s not getting any
closer. Something grabs my ankle. I cry out and fall. I turn and my eyes widen.
Something is standing over me. It kneels and whispers in my ear, “Come here, I
won’t hurt you.” I try to get away, but my body won’t move. I look down
and scream; only no one hears me. I’m naked. “Where are my clothes!” I
ask, scared. The thing chuckles, “Oh you won’t need those. Now come here.”
he grabs me and does things that even I can’t believe. I try to scream. I try
to hit him. And it’s always I either can’t or it doesn’t affect him. When
he is finally done with me, he whispers in my ear, “Now, this is out little
secret.” And with that he pulls back his hood and I see the face of a very
handsome man. But I’m still terrified. “I don’t love you,” is all I say.
He reaches up to slap me……….. I sit bolt upright and scream. “Jaz? JAZ!!”
Billy yells as he runs into my room. He’s just in boxers, but I don’t
notice. He sits on my bed and says, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong!” I look
at him and say, “It was just a dream. A dream. Right?” He nods, “Yes, yes
it was.” I want to cry. “Oh this man….. he he…….. I was running down a
hall and he grabbed my ankle and……. My clothes, they were gone, and he did
horrible things to me……… oh I tried to get away, I really did but I
didn’t move. Oh I was so scared……” I start to sob. He holds me saying,
“Shhhhh…… its ok. It was just a dream. No one is going to do that to you.
I promise. Now, are you going to be ok here?” I look at him and nod. “Ok,
well it’s almost 5. Go back to sleep. You sure you’re ok?” he asks again.
I check for clothes on me. “Yes. I think so. I’m sorry about waking you
up.” I apologize. He smiles. “All I care about is your safety. Now get some
sleep.” He kisses my forehead and leaves. I look around my room and shut off
my light.
The next day I
wake up and look around, everything coming back to me, especially the dream.
“It was just a dream. Just because I’m in a different place.” I
reassure myself. I walk downstairs and smell coffee. I smile wearily and follow
my nose to the machine, taking out a cup and filling it generously. “Your too
young for coffee.” I hear a voice behind me say. I jump and spin around.
It’s just Billy, sipping his own cup and reading the paper. “It keeps me
alive. You should see me without it.” I reply, taking a sip and a seat next to
him. “Well whenever you’re ready, we can get outta here.” he says, turning
a page. “Oh yeah, uh give me a couple minutes.” I say.
I get up and, coffee in hand, go to get dressed. I have no idea what to
pull out. I don’t want to look like a total punk, but I don’t want to be too
girly. I decide on some cargo khakis and a white tank top. It looks hot enough
out for it. I look at my hair and grin. I was never one for spending 3 hours on
my appearance. I put it up in a bun but then take it down and throw a hat over
it. Perfect.
I walk
downstairs and yawn. Placing the empty cup on the counter I look at him.
“Ready?” he asks, still glued to the paper. “Ok dude, what is so
interesting about that paper?” I ask, crossing the kitchen. I look over his
shoulder and read, my brow furrowing. I read, “Actor Billy Boyd finds
godchild………….” Blah blah blah. It doesn’t mention anything about me
actually, just that I’m his godchild. Doesn’t even say that I’m a chic. I
snort in disgust and turn away. It’s only a short article, but enough to get
the public noticed. “I didn’t know you were an actor.” I say, almost
sourly. “I didn’t want to tell you lass. But this is impossible. I didn’t
speak to anyone about it. Whatever, come on, lets go. I got a full schedule
planned.”
We leave and
get into his car. I look out the window, forcing myself to not look at him or
ask any more questions. “Did you sleep ok?” he asks. “Yeah, had a beserko
dream but other than that, yeah.” I reply. “I know, you said it was horrid.
You ok now?” he says. “Yeah.” I reply shortly. Truth was, I wasn’t ok.
It freaked me out good. We arrive at a music hall. “Fancy a walk?” he asks,
getting out. “Yeah, sure.” I reply. We start to walk in silence and I want
to say something but not sure what. I feel around in my pockets and find my
wallet. “Wow, I thought I left it in my room,” I say. Billy looks at me.
“My wallet.” I add shortly. “So what did you have planned today?” I ask
finally, sick of the silence. “No clue, I was hoping you would just go ahead
and do something.” He replies. I smile. “Can we stop in here?” I ask,
pointing to a music store. “Sure,” he replies. We enter and I’m amazed.
“We had nothing of this back where i lived.” I say. It’s a huge Tower
Records. “What did you have where you lived?” he asks. Obviously, this was
nothing to him. “Well, our town was so small; the bowling alley was our
entertainment. That and sitting around, doing nothing.” I reply. “Wow.” He
says. I walk off and leave him alone. They had a lot of CDs. I found a couple
that I thought no one had no more. I would’ve burned it but alas, my computer
wasn’t hooked up yet. I see him in the video games. “Wow, how mature.” I
say lightly standing beside him. “Yeah, I wish Silent Hill 3 would come out
soon.” He sighs and sees the CDs in my hand. “What are you getting?” I
show him. “You know who these people are?” he asks, looking at the covers.
“Yeah man, Oasis and Reel Big Fish rock my world. You ready?” I buy my CDs
and we leave. “Now what?” I ask.
“Dude, what
time is it?” I ask as we walk, passing lots of buildings. I wonder if
there’s a skater park here or something. “Wow, we spent a bloody hour and a
half in there!” he exclaims. I do some calculations and decide it’s about
11:30. “Lunch or a walk in the park?” I ask. “What about walking with
lunch in the park?” he says, swinging his head dramatically to look at me. I
laugh and reply, “Sure.” We go grab some hotdogs and a couple sodas and walk
around the huge nature garden, eating and talking. “I think my wiener is
bigger than yours.” He says. I giggle. My friends and I used to talk like this
all the time. “I hope it is. I mean unless my anatomy is wrong then…. I
don’t want to go there.” I reply. He laughs. We finish and I take a sip of
my Mountain Dew. “Is there anything I should know lass? I mean we didn’t get
to know each other a lot yesterday.” He says, sitting under a tree. I sit next
to him. “Well, for one, how could we? It was a messed up day.” I reply. He
nods and I go on. “Well, hroom, I am addicted to Mountain Dew. I write and
draw. I’m a troublemaker. I bite and I hate love. Hate it hate it hate it. I
think that’s all the major points.” He looks at me. “You bite?” I smile.
“Yeah, but only when necessary. Don’t worry. And you?” I reply with a
wink. “Well, I was gonna tell you I was a famous actor or something like that
but you found that out. I’m Scottish,” I roll my eyes, could never figure
with that accent, “and I think that’s it.” He finishes lamely. “Well
put.” I reply with a soft laugh.
“So now what are we gonna do now?” I ask leaning against him lightly.
“Well, it’s about 1:00 and unfortunately I have to go see my agent. You
don’t mind coming do you?” he asks. “No, not at all.” I reply. We get up
and he knocks into me purposely. I laugh and shove him back. “Ooh! You
little…” he starts. I take off and yell over my shoulder, “Lassie?!” he
laughs and takes off after me.
We arrive at
his agent’s office. I look up. “Wow, nice view.” I say as we walk in. we
take the elevator up and he says, “Ok, well if you wait right here, I’ll
just be a second.” I nod and look around. “So who’re you?” asks the
secretary. I look at her. “Oh, I’m Jaz, Billy’s godchild.” I reply,
smiling. Maybe living with him wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe. “Oh, nice to meet
you Liz,” replies the secretary, sounding bored. I open my mouth to tell her
it’s Jaz but then think better of it. She doesn’t care. My mind drifts and I
wander away from the office. I walk down the hall and around the corner. Looking
up at a sign, I smile. It reads, ‘Theatrical Department.’ I walk into it and
look around. “May I help you miss?” asks a man. I turn. “Oh I was just
looking around.” I reply, smiling. “Oh, ok.” He replies and turns.
“Wait, what can you tell me about this.” I say quickly. “Well, we hire
anyone with real talent and get them jobs with companies such as Disney on
Broadway, The Original Shakespeare Company, and The Chicago Theatre Troupe. We
pay for any residence away from your original home and for travel expenses for
business. Is there anything else?” he asks politely. “Is there anything I
can take, to ya know, look over?” I ask. “Certainly.” He replies and gives
me a pamphlet. I thank him and leave.
I walk back and
see Billy coming down the hall. “Come on, we’re leaving.” He says,
seething with rage. “What-” I start but then decide not to. I just jog to
keep up with him. We get to his car and drive home in silence. I head upstairs
and sit on the balcony, looking at the pamphlet. “No, not again. No.” I say,
throwing it back into my room. Tears start to slip down my cheeks. I don’t
notice them.
Flashback:
A
car is going down the highway. It’s speeding more than it should. It’s
raining and the wipers are going a mile an hour but it doesn’t look like
it’s doing anything. A truck pulls out and starts to turn. There’s a screech
of tires and a horn blaring. The car hurtles off the road bridge and onto the
highway underneath it. It then crashes into the cement side of the tunnel
underneath the road bridge. Yet the passengers are still alive. Then the engine
makes a noise and the car explodes.
I look down and
see the cars going by in the distance. “IT’S ALL MY BLOODY FAULT!!!!!!!” I
scream at the top of my lungs, and then repeat over and over quietly to myself.
I hear a rush of footsteps and hear Billy open the door. “Are you ok love?”
I hear his Scottish accent ask. “It’s my entire fault. All my fault.” Is
all I can say, and then add even quieter, “Please just leave me alone. Please
Billy.” I hear the door close but I can’t get up. I’ve collapsed there.
After half an hour, I find the strength to get up and go to the “extra
baggage” that the movers had brought. I put it on and start to play a song. I
look out the window and it blurs again. “Jaz? What the-” I hear Billy say,
“Is that the Eagles?” I nod. “Where have I heard that before? And is
that-” I nod again. “It’s Love Will Keep Us Alive. It was my parent’s
wedding song. You were there, weren’t you? This is his bass. I found it in the
attic and kept it.” I say, in a shaky voice, yet the song came out clear and
without a fault. “Oh, I remember now. I’ll be downstairs.” He turns and I
turn and say, “Why were you so angry? What did I do wrong?” He looks back at
me and he sees confusion and fear in my green eyes. I see sorrow and guilt in
his. “Come sit.” He says. I obey and he says, “Lass, I can’t tell you
why, not yet, but it was just something I wasn’t going to do. It was nothing
bad, but I just wasn’t going to do it. I’m not mad at you. You’re the best
damn thing that has happened to me in a while. This house was getting so lonely
with just me. I’m glad you came. I’ll be there for you, remember that.
Dinner’ll be ready in an hour or so.” He gets up and leaves. I put the bass
back on the stand and sit down at the desk. Later, I get up, look at it, and go
downstairs for dinner.
So goes on for
three weeks. The routine is the same. Get up, see Billy reading the paper or
something, eat, hang around the house, eat, hang out some more, and go to bed.
“I’m going downtown lass, want anything?” Billy asks one morning. “Yeah,
we need more Dew.” I reply holding up an almost empty bottle. “You go
through more of that than I do with my beer. Dayum girl.” He replies. I laugh
and swig the last of it. He leaves and I settle down to my computer. I pop up my
online journal and start to write. “Everything seems to be getting better.
Living with my godfather is getting to be tolerable, even fun. I still miss my
parents. But you don’t want to hear my go on about that. What, have I done
that 37473443838923 times? I think that’s it.” I say aloud as I type. I hear
the phone ring. “Oh it’s the phone. Buh bye people and I miss you.” I
enter it and grab the phone. “Hello?” I ask, sitting on the couch. “Yes,
is Billy there?” I hear a man ask. I picture him in my mind already. Tall,
lanky, probably sunglasses, suit coat, and bleach tipped hair. Very full of
himself. “No, he’s gone out. May I take a message?” I ask. “No that’s
ok. Who is this?” he replies. “This is his goddaughter Jaz.” I reply. This
dude is being real rude man. “Oh well hello. I’m his agent. He needs to get
in touch with me about New Zealand and when he is going out there.” The man
replies curtly. “New Zealand sir? He’s not taking a vacation.” I reply.
“No he isn’t. He is going out there for a year, for his next project. Lord
of the Rings. Now please have him call me. Thank you and good day ma’am.”
Click. I stand there, looking at the phone. I turn to the opening door. “Hey,
what’s wrong?” Billy asks, seeing my face. He sets down the bag and takes a
step foreword. “I just got a call from your agent. When were you planning on
telling me about going to New Zealand?” I ask, hurt and angry at the same
time. “What did he say lass?” Billy asks seriously. “He said to have him
call you about when you’re going out there. DO YOU KNOW WHY I’M HERE! I COME
HERE, LOSING EVERYONE IN AN ACCIDENT AND THEN FIND OUT YOUR FUCKIN’ GOING
ACROSS THE SEA!!! WHAT WERE YOU GONNA DO? LEAVE ME HERE FOR A YEAR????!!!!” I
scream outraged. I throw the phone down and look at him, daggers in my eyes.
“Now calm down hon. I never said I was going. They think I am. But I’m going
to. I’m going to stay right here with you.” He replies calmly, holding out
his hands, palms facing outward. “I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you
one bit.” I say, and run out of the room. He shakes his head, puts the food
away, sits down and runs his fingers through his hair and picks up the phone.
I hear a knock
on the door. “Go away.” I say. To my dismay, I hear it open and soft
footsteps coming behind me. “I said go away Billy. I don’t want to talk.”
I repeat. A foreign voice whispers in my ear, “I’m not here to talk.” I
feel hands go around my throat and in one quick sweep I’m on my bed, the black
cloaked figure over me. “Let me go!” I scream. “Only when I’m done.”
It whispers. “Ouch your hurting me!” I say. I can’t fight him. “The more
it hurts the better, wench!” it replies and slaps me across the face. I feel
it inside me and then a cold piece of metal at my throat. “No please.” I
gasp and I feel liquid spilling from my throat.
I jerk awake
and look around. “Just a dream, just a dream.” I say. I get up and go
downstairs. I see Billy talking on the phone. “Yes, no, I’m not going by
plane. No I’m not. I don’t’ care, if you want me to do this part bad
enough you’ll book a ship. Yes. Ok. Thank you. Two. Yes. I told you. Ok thank
you. See you tomorrow morning.” I slowly walk in. “hi darling. Are you
feeling better?” he asks timidly. “Yes I am.” He smiles. It’s somewhere.
“Dinner’s on the stove.” He nods to the pot. “Thanks. What time is
it?” I ask. “Round 9.” He replies. “Wow, I’ve been sleeping for a long
time.” I plate up some of the corned beef and sit. “I’m sorry for yelling
at you. Go ahead to New Zealand. I’ll be good here. Just make sure you
call.” I say, taking a bite. I’m glad this guy can cook! “No.” he
replies. “What?” I say, looking at him. “I’m not going.” He sees my
face fall and grins as he adds, “Alone. You’re coming with me. We’re to
set sail tomorrow morning. No planes for us!” I look at him and it clicks.
“I-We’re- WE’RE GOING TO NEW ZEALAND?!!” I say. He nods. “Both of
us?” another nod. “Oh my god I love you Billy!!! You’re the best!!” I
stop and look at the cabinet opposite me. “I have to go pack.” And with
that, and the song of his laughter in my ears I hurtle upstairs to repack all my
things.
As we land 14
hours later I remember the time my parents and I went out to my cousin’s
wedding in Colorado. It was a six hour flight. And I thought that was bad. Of
course I was a lot younger. We walk in the terminal and I see the moving
sidewalks. “Oh my god! Can we go on those!” I say excitedly. They were so
fun and my bag was heavy. Billy laughs and nods. We get on and talk a little.
“How you feeling love?” he asks as we watch people pass with cell phones and
briefcases. “Tired but good,” I reply. “What’s the point of these if
you’re just going to walk over them? They move so you don’t have to
people!” I comment. Billy laughs and we move to the Starbucks. “I don’t
know about you but I need some coffee.” I nod and order a cappuccino. We walk
along and are met up by an uber nice looking guy. “Hey, are you erm, Billy
Boyd?” he asks. Billy nods. “I’m Elijah Wood.” He turns to me and
smiles. “And you must be that little terror his agent was talking about.” I
laugh and shake his hand. “I’m Jaz Gardner. That’s all I seem to get these
days. Nothing but low and little!” I quote from Shakespeare. He smiles.
“Shall we
go?” Billy asks, breaking the silence. We nod and find the cars that his
company left for us. As we drive along, their voices become part of the
background and I look out the window. ‘This is my new life for the next two
years? Let’s make the best of it.’ I think. I watch all the landscape turn
and twist. Pulling into a driveway Billy turns the engine off. “Home sweet
home.” he says lightly. I shake my head. “Yeah.” I say. We get out and go
inside. It’s a really nice house. I check out the backyard and pick out my
bedroom. There’s a knock at the door and Billy calls upstairs, “Jaz,
there’s someone I want you to meet.” I run downstairs and almost collapse
from stopping so shortly. “Jaz, this is Dominic Monaghan. Dominic this is Jaz,
my goddaughter.”
I try to speak,
but can only force a smile as I shake his hand. It’s rather cold and he has a
strong grip. I wish he would’ve
let go sooner than he did. “Nice to meet you Jaz.” He says. His voice hits
me like a knife. There is an awkward silence as he just stares at me before
Billy says, “Well we’re going out for a bit to meet up with Elijah and the
last of the hobbits, uh Sean Astin. Would you like to come lass?” I swallow
hard. “Uh no thanks, I’m not feeling very well. Jet lag I think. I’ll just
chill here.” I say. He nods, smiles and replies, “Ok then, I’ll be back
later.” I smile and nod. After they leave I just stare at the door. “I
don’t like him.” I proclaim aloud. I fix myself dinner, watch a movie, and
go to bed. I wake up to a door slam and stumbling up the stairs. “Great, first
night here and he’s mangled beyond recognition.” I mutter before going back
to sleep.
The next
morning I wake up and go downstairs, messing my red hair up more. I had it cut
so it’s only no longer than my shoulders, so now all it does it go foof. I
remember how drunken Billy sounded so I made up a remedy for him before making
breakfast. At around noon, I hear him coming down the stairs cursing. “Dare I
say good morning?” I ask lightly, passing him a glass of the substance.
“What the hell is this? Oh my bloody head.” He moans. “Just drink it and
you’ll feel better, trust me. And here are some eggs, toast and bacon.” I
reply, passing him a plate as well. “What would I do without you?” he asks.
“Probably hire a housekeeper who’s about 60 who bitches at you to clean this
up and eat right and whatnot.” I laugh. “You’re so funny.” He says
sarcastically. He downs the drink and coughs. “YUCK! You’re trying to kill
me as well!” he proclaims shaking his head. “Drink one more glass and this
time sip it. It will taste nasty if you down it duh.” I reply, passing him to
go upstairs to change. I hear him sputter and cough again. ‘He doesn’t
listen does he?’ I ask myself mentally.
A couple of
weeks go by and everything seems to be ok. The only I haven’t liked so far is
how close Billy and Dom have gotten. He comes over a lot and I don’t think I
can hide in my room forever. “Why do you keep excusing yourself when Dom comes
over?” he asked one day. “I don’t know, I just seem to remember things I
need to do when he’s around and I want you two to be able to talk without me
being around.” I replied, not looking at him.
“He’s asked
me about you.”
“What have
you told him!” I said, rounding him.
“Only that
you are my goddaughter and you were staying with me for personal reasons.”
I had calmed
down after that. But I still kept having dreams. And they got worse and longer
every time. I even woke up once and swear I saw a black shadow leaving my room
quickly.
Today was
different though. I woke up to turn and see Billy in a chair near my bed.
“What are you doing?” I ask. “Happy birthday Jaz.” He says happily,
handing me a gift. “Oh thanks! You didn’t have to Billy. Really.” I say,
in awe. I open it and gasp. It’s a photo album. I open it and see pictures of
my parents, him, and me, all through my childhood. I look through it slowly,
trying to remember anything out of them. I look up with tears in my eyes. I
hadn’t cried since the night I first had those dreams. “Thank you so
much.” I say again. I lean over and take out the one I had hidden under my
bed. I give it to him. “I have the other one.” I add. He looks through it
and smiles, remembering all the memories and how happy and perfect everything
was.
He gives me
another gift. Its crude brown wrapping makes me smile. I untie the cord and it
unfolds a beautiful ornamental box. I gasp. “I don’t know what it’s in it.
I’ve never opened it. Thought it was time it went to you.” He says quietly.
I trace the carvings slowly and unclasp the lock. With a click it opens and I
slowly, almost afraid, lift the cover. My breath stops short. The only thing in
there is a little book. It’s black and has a white flower atop a cross on it.
I slowly take it out and cradle it in my hands. Slowly opening the front cover,
I read, “The journal of Nick and Angela.” I look to the opposite page. In
big fancy, spirally letters it says, “Angela.” I look through it and find a
piece of paper.
“If you are
reading this that means we are not with you in body. If you are reading this you
are probably our daughter. If you are reading this, it means that Billy has
finally gotten the courage to steal into our house, take our stuff, and give it
to who he thinks best. ‘Bout time man! Anyways, dearest Jasmine, we are sorry
that we can’t be here right now to tell you what to do, or who to go to, or
anything. But, no matter where we are, in life or death, we will always love
you. If you just pray, we’ll listen. And we’ll try to help. You just need to
live your life, live your dreams and make everything be the best it can. Live
each day as if it were your last. But it wont’ be for a long time. All we ask
of you is to not beat up your godfather too much and to have fun. We’ll meet
again, trust us. We love you dearest. Attached it a poem your mother made. Love
always no matter what, your mother and father.” I look to the next page and
see indeed a poem. My Angel and Friend
I never thought that i would find
A friend so great and a friend so kind
I look up to you in every way
‘cause I learn something from you each day.
Without you still here friends with me
You deserve so much more than I could give
But without you I wouldn’t live.
You’ve given me much more than money can buy.
And for you I’d give my all, I would die
This feeling I feel gets stronger everyday hoping not to screw up I constantly
pray I know we have our problems every now and then
But once it’s fixed our friendships better times ten
And I want you to know that I truly do care
Even in fights when I say things that aren’t fair
You’re an angel from God above
And I’m thanking you for your understanding love
Because when you’re around everything seems right
And for you, until the end, I will fight.
It doesn’t matter what you do or say
Because you’ll be you’ll be my friend anyway
I know the real you that’s deep down inside
And in you I will always confide
Thanks for being the friend that you are
You’re my best friend, an angel by far
Everything in you is an inspiration to do great
And you’ll be loved ‘cause that’s your fate!
So never stop being the real and wonderful you
Cause God shines through in all that you do
And whenever it seems like I’m never there
Remember this: I
love you and I’ll always care!
I give the
letter and poem to Billy. After he finished reading both he looks at me and
gives me a long hug. “Thank you so much.” I say. He smiles and replies,
“Your welcome. Now get dressed we have a big day ahead of us. I’ve got it
all planned out.” I smile as well and we begin our day.
We go out, take
a hike, see the sites, and just do anything we think up until dinner. He takes
me to a place called Sweet Sixteen for dinner. After bringing me home he says,
“Wanna go out tonight?” I grin and reply, “What did you have in mind?”
“Go get into different clothes, or whatever. Quick quick lass!” I nod, run
upstairs and get out of my baggy jeans and long sleeved shirt and put on my
black baggy pants and a black tank top. I put on an arm warmer and my wallet
chain. I come back downstairs with my hair brushed for once and Billy whistles
and says, “Wow, going Goth are we?” I scowl and reply, “No going New
Yorker yo.” He laughs and we leave.
We get to a
club and he asks, “Your 18 now right?” I nod, “I thought you knew that.”
he laughs, “yeah I was joking with you.” I laugh and push him foreword. We
walk into the club and I’m transformed. I don’t like clubs but this one was
different. Full of finely dressed men and scantily clad women, music pumping and
the mixed smell of alcohol and smoke fills me with a sense of inspiration. ‘I
can act here, and no one will care. They are all acting. Wow.’ I think. We
make our way over to a table in the corner and Billy says, “The drinking age
is 18 here ya know. I won’t tell if you wont’.” He winks and orders me a
beer. I smile and sip the amber liquid. It’s dry and a little tart but still
good. We just sit in silence and listen for a while. Suddenly a pair of hands
cover my eyes as I hear a familiar voice say, “Happy birthday love.” I smile
and tear the hands away to see Elijah sitting beside me. “Thanks, what are you
doing here?” I reply happily. “I got an invite to come celebrate with an 18
year old.” He says.
We chat and
after another drink, Billy says, “I think we should go dancing. That’s what
you’re supposed to do here right?” Elijah and he laugh. They get up and
disappear into the crowd. It clicks about a minute afterwards that I could go
too. So I get up and make my way through the waves of people. The beer had
loosened me up a little and I started to dance, having not found Elijah or
Billy. ‘They don’t want me around anyways.’ I think. I feel someone come
up behind me and take my hands, holding them high above my head. He pushes
closer to me and I feel the heat coming off his body onto mine. He moves faster
and I follow. He brings my hands down again and he starts to run his hands down
the sides of my body. ‘I should stop him. I do not like this.’ I think. But
I did like it. ‘I should turn around.’ My body wouldn’t respond. He got to
my hips and held onto them tightly, swaying them in time to the music. My heart
started to race and I thought, ‘ok this is enough. No one takes control of
me.’ I start to turn around but the hands left my hips and swung loosely
around my neck. He came closer still. I looked at the hands. They were rough and
full of calluses.
I attempt to
turn around again but he presses his arms down so I can’t turn. “What’s a
matter love? Don’t you want to dance?” I gasp, now afraid. “Yes but not
with you.” I say, pulling away forcefully. I turn and don’t see anyone. I
search and search but only find Elijah. “Where’s Billy Lij?” I ask him.
“I don’t know, last I saw him, he was going off with some Laura girl. Why?
Yo, you ok Jaz? You look scared hon.” I force a smile, ‘act, Jaz, act!’ I
think. “Yeah I’m fine, I just wanted to know the time.” I lied. “Ok,
just making sure. I sure am lonely though. Would you care to dance?” My heart
jumps. “Sure, if you don’t mind.” I reply. Just at that moment, a slow
song comes on. How could luck help me any more? He holds out a hand and I draw
closer into his arms. He holds me, as we slowly move in no particular pattern.
I smell the
mixture of sweat and what smells like an Abercrombie cologne on him. “Your
hair smells wonderful.” He comments close into my ear. I thank him. The song
ends and “Still Frame” by Trapt comes on. He draws away slightly from me, so
his hands are on my shoulders and starts to dance faster. I sway along with him
and dip and dive. Anything to keep the connection between us. The song ends and
someone taps me on the shoulder. I freeze and whip around, backing up into Lij
in the process. “Oops sorry Elijah.” I apologize. It’s just Billy.
“Ready to go?” he asks. I nod reluctantly. It was time. Then he adds to
Elijah, “Our place is closer than yours, wanna crash at our place? There are
only two beds but there’s the couch.” Elijah smiles and agrees to come. I
follow them out and hope that no one is following me.
We get back to
the house and Billy goes inside quicker than the rest of us. “I wonder…” I
say to Elijah. He laughs. “He had a lot more to drink than you I think.” I
laugh. “Thank you for dancing with me. I had a great time.” I say to him.
“It was my pleasure. I’m sorry I don’t have a present for you.” He
replies. “Just you being there was more than enough.” I reassure him. We
walk up the steps and stand on the front porch. “Well here’s something.”
He says taking my hands and pulling me into a soft kiss. His lips were soft and
he didn’t force it on me. I put my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.
He tongue entered my mouth slightly before a bright light shone and I heard a
voice saying, “Get your hands off her Wood before I get my shotgun!” I yelp
and bit his tongue, quickly stepping back in shock. Elijah jumps around cursing
and holding his mouth. I see a little blood and start to curse as well, running
inside. I grab a glass of water and turn to see a laughing Billy helping Elijah
in. I hand Elijah the water and apologize profusely. After it stops bleeding he
says, “Its ok. Don’t worry about it.” I excused myself and retired to my
room.
Later that
night I hear a knock on my door. I make sure I’m awake and open it to see
Elijah. “Hi hon, mind if I come in?” I shake my head and open the door
wider. It’s about 3 in the morning and I haven’t been able to sleep. “Are
you ok? I’m really sorry.” I say. He chuckles, “I’m fine. Am I making
you uneasy? I’m sorry I kissed you so suddenly.” He says uneasily. I put a
hand on his shoulder. “It’s ok. This may sound stupid but I liked it.” He
smiles at me and brushes my cheek. “Well I just wanted to make sure you were
ok. Good night Jaz.” He says going to the door. “Good night Elijah.” I
reply in almost a whisper as he leaves. I sit on my bed and eventually fall down
asleep.
I wake up the
next morning to see Elijah has gone. The next week goes well but at the end,
Billy comes to me with the worst news I could get. “Elijah, Orlando, Sean, and
I have to go to the other side of the island for the weekend. I should be back
by Sunday night. I’m having Dom stay with you. He doesn’t have to go lucky
ass. Sorry babe.” He says before leaving. I had no time to fight with him
about it. Alone for a weekend with Dominic Monaghan. I start to tremble. An hour
later, I hear a knock. With shaking hands, I open the door and see him standing
there. It had started to rain and he was starting to get wet. “Hey, come on
in.” I say trying to keep my calm. “Thanks. How you been?” he asks me.
“Fine, and you?” I reply. “Besides a little wet, great.” I smile. Maybe
it was just my psyche freaking out on me. He seemed fine. “Uh I have dinner
made so help yourself, I have to go upstairs for a while and finish
something.” I say standing on the staircase. “Ok thanks. I’ve heard of
your mingin’ cooking skills.” I smile and run up the stairs.
I finish the
art project I was working on for Billy’s birthday and go back downstairs. I
see Dom, sitting there watching some TV. “Hey.” He says, not looking up.
“Hey.” I reply, going into the kitchen to wash the dishes. I finish and go
upstairs. “Good night.” I say. “Good night lass. Sleep well.” Dom says
getting up. “Do you need blankets or something?” I ask. He shakes his head.
“Naw I’ll find something. But thanks. Night.” He replies. I go upstairs
and lock my door and put my wooden staff by my bed. Just in case.
The
next morning, I wake up to the smell of bacon and toast. I go downstairs and see
Dom, standing there with a plate for me in the kitchen. “Thanks, you didn’t
have to.” I say taking it graciously. “You made dinner I thought it was only
right that I made breakfast. I think you have the wrong impression of me.” he
says. I sit and look at him, a little a taken back. “Do I scare you?” he
asks. “No, of course not. Don’t mind it, I’m just weird sometimes that’s
all.” I reply trying to be calm. I eat and go about my business. “I’m
going out for a walk!” I call, leaving. I go the park and just think.
‘It’s all gonna be ok. He’s not going to hurt me. I just have to keep my
calm and just keep lying to him. Remember what they said back home: you can go
through your life acting, but you can’t act to the people you love. I wish
Elijah was here. Man I miss him.’
I go back home
at about 6 and prepare dinner. Dom and I eat together and he tries talking to me
but I answer in as short a way as possible. I don’t think it makes him too
happy. ‘He still creeps me out.’ I think. I clean up and go upstairs. I fall
asleep rather early and forget to lock my door or anything. I hear a creaking of
a door open and pay no mind to it until I jerk awake and realize I can’t move
my arms or legs. I move my head and see my hands are bound to either side of my
bed and my legs were the same.
“What’s
going on? How did I get like this? Help!” I cry. “You’re a deep sleeper
you know that?” says a deep masculine voice just beyond my bed. “This is
just a dream; all I have to do is wake up. You’re a piece of imagination.” I
say, trying to believe myself. “Oh really lass? Isn’t this real?” he
pushes his lips roughly onto mine. I can feel stubble on his chin. I refuse to
kiss him back and he pushes me roughly down into the bed further. “Just let me
go, please. Please? I don’t’ even know who you are so I can’t go to the
cops.” He laughs maliciously. “For such a bright girl you sure are stupid.
Now if you just promise to cooperate than I’ll untie you.” He says. “I
won’t.” I reply, a little too boldly.
“We can make
this easy or difficult lassie.” He continues. Fear strikes me as I hear a hint
of anger in his voice. “Don’t come near me.” I reply, growing into
hysteria. He sits on my bed and strokes my cheek. “What’s the matter? I’m
not going to hurt you. Unless you don’t cooperate.” He says. I spit at what
I think is his face. Then realized that was the wrong move. I was helpless, tied
to a bed and he was free to move. He could kill me right now. Maybe if I tell
him I’m not afraid of what he could do to me, he would leave me alone. It was
worth a shot. My greatest performance was about to begin.
“I’m not
afraid of what you could do to me.” I say. “Oh really? What if I killed you
slowly right now?” he replies, almost humored with the idea. “Nope, I’m a
suicidalist. I don’t fear death one bit. You’d be doing me a favor if you
killed me.” I reply coolly. “And if I just cut you in uncomfortable
places?” he ponders. “Don’t care. I’d probably die from that anyways.
Again, you’d be helping me.” I say. He turns and gets on top of me, his face
inches from mine. “And if I raped you?” he whispers to me. Fear struck me.
Everything except the suicide part had been a lie. I did fear rape. But I came
up with something. “Go ahead, it’s not like you’d be the first. Almost
every time my sister left to go somewhere, I was visited by various people in
the night. And they would rape me clean. No one knew. Except now you. So yeah,
whatever you want. I guess I’m at your mercy.” I said the last words
wrongly. They were too full of sarcasm. It was the wrong move.
I see a grin in
the dark and he says, even closer to me now, “You’re lying. Billy’s told
me all about how you used to act. You grew up safe and have never been touched.
Now, liar, your lies become the truth.” I see a glint in the dark and feel
cold steel against my stomach. A little snip and a ripping sound pierce the
night. I really become afraid now. He’s not joking. ‘How do I get out of
this now?’ I think. I feel cold air on my stomach.
WOTH: He plays
with me for a while before crudely cutting my pants. I make one last attempt.
“I know who you are. Please don’t hurt me anymore.” He laughs. “Who am I
then?” he asks. “Dom don’t do this to me. Please.” I plead with him.
With a look at me and malicious laugh, he enters me. I scream at the pain.
“GET OFF OF ME!” I scream. He doesn’t listen. After fulfilling what he
wanted, which was a lot longer time than I was comfortable with, he got up and
put a blanket over me. “I’ll untie you in the morning sweet.” He says with
one last grizzly kiss. As soon as he leaves I start to cry. I had not cried
while he was there, just to prove that I was not weak. But I was still
writhering in pain as sleep overtook me.
GBL: I look
down and see him kissing my bellybutton. The ropes have given in a little so I
try to knee him away. “Oh you don’t like that?” he asks, “Fine, we’ll
start upwards then.” He makes small kisses up the center of my stomach until
he gets to my bra. “You won’t need this will you?” he says to me, slowly
unclasping it. “Leave me alone you psycho.” I say harshly. My fear was going
to come out as anger. “Oh, no I don’t think so.” He replies, unclasping
it. He sucked each nipple slowly. I writhered in discontent. ‘Maybe if I play
along, he’ll be done quicker. No, I won’t give in. I don’t like this, God
knows I don’t’. It’s best to just put up a fight.’ I think. ‘There’s
no use talking him out of it now. He’s a dirty bastard.’
“Will you get
off me?” I ask. He looks up. “What you want a turn love?” he asks me.
“No. I want you to leave me alone.” I reply sourly. He moves up and brushes
my nose. “What, not enjoying yourself?” he asks, brushing my lips. I take my
chance by forcing myself into a kiss and waiting for him to part my lips with
his tongue. When he does, I bite down hard. He shrieks in pain and starts to
curse. “You little -!!” he exclaims. “What? Don’t like how I play?” I
ask, mildly happily that I hurt him.
“Oh so now you’re liking this eh? Well let’s see about that in a minute.” He says angrily, slipping down to my thighs, scratching hard down my body. Mild pain and heat form in the places he scratched me. He looks up at me as he crudely cuts my pants and takes them off me, before doing the same to my panties. “You wont’ need these.” He says. He delves into my wet center and bites me, offensive and without care. “JUST LET ME GO OK!!” I yell at him. “Oh the worst pain is yet to come.” he says as he brings himself up.
He undoes his pants and lets them drop to the floor. Sliding himself between my legs I make one last attempt. “I know who you are. Please don’t hurt me anymore.” He laughs. “Who am I then?” he asks. “Dom don’t do this to me. Please.” I plead with him. He looks at me, puts himself at my opening and laughs maliciously as he slides inside me. He slowly pumps in and out. “Am I teasing you?” he asks. “NO, your hurting me bastard.” I say angrily and in pain. “Ooh wrong thing to say now.” he replies and shoves himself hard into me breaking whatever skin I had. He did this a second time and came. I was now screaming in pain. Dom just stays in me, in that painful position, for what seemed like forever. After his breathing went back to normal, he slipped out, got back in his pants and put a blanket over me. “I’ll untie you in the morning sweet.” He says with one last grizzly kiss. As soon as he leaves I start to cry. I had not cried while he was there, just to prove that I was not weak. But I was still writhering in pain as sleep overtook me.
The next day I
woke up, everything from the following night coming back slowly. I realized I
could move. “Maybe it was all a dream.” I said to myself. I looked at the
clock, 3 in the afternoon. I hear a knock followed by, “Jaz hon I’m home.
Can I come in?” It’s Billy. “Yeah,” I say after checking that I had
something on. “How’re you doing? I missed you.” He says, sitting on my
bed. “Ok, I missed you too.” I reply. His brow furrows as he says, “Why
are your clothes torn and on the ground?” I quickly see he’s right. “I was
trying to move my bed and they got caught. Had to cut them off. It’s ok
though, don’t worry.” I reply. He looks at me then says, “Ok. Well, how
was your weekend?” I shrug and decide to leave it at that. “Well I’m going
downtown. Care to join me?” I nod. “I wanna pick up some stuff at the
drugstore.” I reply. He leaves and I get up.
Looking back at
my bed I see dark spots on it and a dull pain come to me. I decide to not let it
bother me as much as it was. Getting dressed I leave with Billy. “What do you
need to pick up?” he asks as we get to the store. “Oh just some hair dye.”
I reply, getting out. I go in and get some dye then look at the pregnancy tests.
I grab the cheapest one and leave. We go out to eat and chat. “Dom says you
had a great time.” He says taking a sip of soda. “I guess.” I lie. “Are
you ok? You seem a little off.” He replies. “I’m not feeling too well.”
I reply. We go home and I lie down. “Everything’s going to be all right.”
I say quietly to myself before drifting off.
I wake up and
find a note: “Gone out for a bit. Be back soon. Love, Billy.” ‘Probably
gone out drinking,’ I think. I decide that this is a good time to take the
test. It takes me forever to figure out the answer. And I have no idea what to
say when I do figure it out.
I look at it
again just to make sure. I have to find Dom. I’m going to put that little
bastard in his place. No one
touches me and gets away with it. I start walking down the streets to his house
and then realize he’s probably at the pub with Billy. “Maybe he’ll get so
drunk he’ll tell Billy the whole thing.” I ponder in a sort of laugh,
thinking of how Billy would react. I could hear the yelling and furniture being
destroyed already. But no, I’m going to get him alone and deal with him. I
stop and look at the sky, looking for my parents. “I’M NOT
AFRAID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I scream. Tears come into my eyes as I keep
walking.
15 minutes
later I get to a pub and look in. I see Billy and Dom with some people I
haven’t met yet. Taking a deep breath, I step into the smoky atmosphere and
slowly and hesitantly, make my way to their table. “Oh hey Jaz.” I hear
Elijah say. I feel a wave of soothingness come over me as I breathe back, “Oh
hey.” I turn to Billy as he says, “How’d you find us? What are you doing
here?” I smile, “I just wanted to talk to Dom for a minute.” I turn to Dom
and he gets up and follows me out the door. “I wonder what that’s about.”
Elijah says, watching us.
“What’s
going on love?” he asks when he sees my face. “I aughta kill you right
now.” I say, shoving him up against the wall. “Do you know what you’ve
done to me? Do you realize what might happen? And it’s all because of YOU.”
I say, my voice steadily rising in the crisp night air. Dom looks at me
flabbergasted. “What are you talking about?” he asks. “Oh don’t play
dumb with me. If you don’t remember than you, you -” I bark, shoving him
again. I hear his back crack against the brick facing of the building. “Do you
do it often? Who else, Dom, huh, WHO ELSE?” I’m about to smack him when he
grabs my hands and puts them above my head. He looks me straight in the eyes.
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about Jasmine! All I know is
that I think you’re a great girl and I was wondering why you were acting so
strange at the house this weekend. Do you normally go around, trying to hurt
everybody? God if anyone needs some answers, it should be me!” he squeezes my
wrists tighter.
I look at him
and see the whole scene of that night in his eyes. It was like looking at a
video tape taped from the corner of my room. I could see everything from third
person. There was something there I hadn’t seen before. The neck. It had a
mark on it. I blink and the tape like vision is gone. “Dom.” I whisper,
sinking to the damp ground. It had started to rain in the middle of our fight
and I had just noticed it now. He sinks down with me, still holding my hands.
“What?” he asks me in a half angry, half afraid voice. “D- Do you have a
mark on the back of your neck?” I breathe. “No. I would never get my neck
tattooed. Why love?” I look at him and start sobbing, collapsing onto his
chest. My chest heaves up and down with uncontrollable weeping. “I-I-I’m so
sorry Dom. Really I-I am.” I say over and over in between bawling. He strokes
my head and presses me to him. “It’s ok. Do you want to tell me what’s
wrong?” I start to calm down and say, “When you were watching me, someone
came into my room at night and – and-”I look at him in fear. Dom’s eyes
widen. “NO.” he gasps. I nod and bury myself in his collarbone. “-raped
me. It sounded like you so I thought it was. Oh it hurt so much. I’m so sorry
Dom. I really am. Please don’t be mad at me.” I sob. “No, no I’m not,
not at all. It’s not your fault hon. Are you?-” he asks. I shake my head no.
he gives a sigh of relief and picks me up. “Come on lass; let’s get you back
inside and out of the cold.” Rubbing my back ad brushing away the tears we
enter the pub’s warm smoky atmosphere.
Everyone asks what happened and I just lied and said, “We went for a walk in the woods nearby to talk and got caught in the rain.” I look at Dom and he agrees, raising his eyebrows at my incredible lie. They order me a beer and the night goes on. It was only 9:00 you know.
