Part 4

A Strange And Beautiful Exterior

Tara picked up the phone and dialed Eric’s number. It was Thursday and she wanted to find out what his plans for the weekend were. She missed him a lot during the week when she did not see him, and it had been a stressful week for her.

Tara listened to the burr of the telephone ring as she thought about what had happened the day before. She had been talking to some friends in their home room when she glanced up at the clock and saw she would be late if she did not leave soon. As she walked out of the room and down a little passage way leading to the main hallway she heard two boys around the corner say her name. She listened more closely, wondering what they could have to say about her.

“I like my peanut butter chunky, not my women. That girl has got the biggest fucking ass I have ever seen.” One of them joked. The other one laughed appreciatively.

“She always dresses like some kind of freak and all her friends are losers or fags. Seriously I bet she has at least one STD with the people she hangs out with.”

“An STD! Shit who the fuck would touch her?? You would have to be some kind of fucked up freak to get anywhere near her. I think she’s gay anyway, have you ever seen her with any guys except that one fag she always talks to?” The first boy said. Tara had heard enough and at that moment with her head held hi walked right out in front of the two boys and cast them a glare that made it completely clear that she had heard it all. The boys both looked at her a little embarrassed and went into their class, but Tara was no longer looking at them. She was starting strait ahead not seeing anything but a colorful blur as she tried to hold back the tears.

“Joe, do you think I am attractive to guys?” She asked her friend later in study hall. Joe looked her up and down and smirked.

“You? Sure.” He rolled his eyes sarcastically.

“No, I am being serious. There were these guys talking about me and they said you would have to be a freak to like me… do you think that is true?”

“Well you are a freak…”

“Joe!”

“I don’t think there is anything wrong with you, ok?” Joe shrugged. “You’re just not my type so stop hitting on me.” He grinned. She and Joe always went back and forth with each other trading insults so any period of seriousness was soon lost to an under the belt jab one had been saving for the other.

“I just can’t help it… I have a thing for guys with uni-brows.” She shrugged and went back to her economics homework.

Tara’s thoughts returned to her task when the answering machine picked up. “This is Eric. I’m not home right now so if you are a really hot girl who wants my body please leave your name, number, and special message after the beep.” Eric must still be at work or picking something up at a store, she figured. She decided to leave a message so her could get back to her.

“Hey Eric, it is Tara… erm… I was just wondering what your plans are this weekend. Give me a buzz and let me know. Ok. Love ya! Bye.” She hung up the phone remembering how much she hated answering machines. She always felt like her messages made her sound like some kind of mentally challenged stalker. Under normal circumstances she would hang up and try again, but Eric was different.

Tara wondered what to do with her time. She opted to check her e-mail thinking maybe someone had sent her something halfway interesting for a change. Maybe one of her old boyfriends actually felt like fulfilling the promise to keep in touch no matter what.

“Who cares if they are a bunch of freaks? At least they have something more interesting to talk about that the size of my ass…” Tara mumbled to herself bitterly. She logged into her e-mail and began to delete all of the junk mail advertising penis enlargements and “teenage girls xxx animal love Asian boob me so horny come unwrap me butt sex” e-mails. She didn’t know how they had found her or decided she must be a man, but it irritated her that pretty much all the mail she got was junk. She noticed an forward from her first boyfriend and deleted it without reading it. She never read the chain mail because it always had curses in it and she thought they wouldn’t affect her if she didn’t know what they were. Towards the bottom of the list there was an e-mail from Eric he had sent earlier that day. Tara opened it up and read it hungrily.

Hey Tara!

How’s it going? Hope everything is ok with school and all. Am coming down to visit Mom this weekend, will catch you around sometime. I will call from Mom’s to see what you are up to. We could go to a movie? Let me know if you are free and what you want to do.

xoxo Hugs and kisses,

Eric :)

Tara had to smile. The e-mail was so impersonal really. She understood he couldn’t really be all that mushy, who knows who could see that e-mail accidentally? She stored it away in her stuff folder and got offline. She had some homework to do and she wanted to practice guitar for at least an hour if she could. She needed to work on her finger picking if she could.

It was hard for Tara to concentrate on anything the rest of Thursday and all of Friday. She just kept thinking of Eric and seeing him again, she hadn’t felt so happy in a long time. Almost all her misgivings about the eccentricity of the relationship has vanished in the wake of a burning desire to be with him. She wondered if there would ever come a time when they would really choose to be together forever and to hell with everyone else’s opinion of them. She thought that maybe this was it, this was the real thing, and she thought how lucky she was to have found it… however strange it did appear to be on the surface.

“I will admit that it is sort of odd and perverted based on strict social convention. I mean if I were just in it to fuck someone I do not think my first choice would be a cousin who is ten years older than me. I only got involved in this more deeply after that first experience with him because there was really something there and I could feel it and so could he. Somehow we were fated to get together in this very strange way and I think that maybe it is a test we have to get through. If we can get through this we could make it through anything really. I mean what else besides true love could make it through total social alienation?” Tara wrote in her computer diary, the only place that she was sure would be completely safe from prying eyes because only she knew the password or how to even access the program cleverly hidden inside another program.

Saturday morning Tara awoke early and took her shower. She wanted to look nice if Eric decided to come get her and take her out somewhere like he said he wanted to. She was careful in choosing her outfit. She wanted it to be flattering and minimize the appearance of her rear, which she had recently become a little paranoid about. She picked a black skirt that came to her knees and a golden velvet blouse that really brought out her eyes.

Since Tara was in the habit of dressing and doing makeup on weekends often her mother didn’t wonder if she had plans or who those plans might be with. She just assumed that Tara was doing her usual to keep from going out of her mind with boredom on the weekends. In the back of her mind she seemed to recall something about Eric coming for a visit and figured that would cheer Tara up. She seemed a little down and stressed during the week.

Instead of calling her, Eric just showed up at the doorstep about noon to take Tara to a movie. Tara was really happy to see him and glad that she had gotten dressed so early that day. Tara went out and got into Eric’s car quickly to prevent her mother from engaging in a conversation for too long. Eric smiled at her and did a cartwheel in the yard to show off. Tara laughed and shook her head at him as he lost his balance and fell flat. He dusted himself off and grinned at her before getting into the car.

“Here we go… there is a little time before the movie starts so we can just go for a bit of a drive.” Eric turned on the car and began to back out.

“Cool.” Tara replied and put on her sunglasses.

Eric took them down the back roads outside town again. This time he did not take her to the swimming hole though, he drove down an old logging road that was no longer used and ended in the middle of forest. Which had begun to grow back over the last few years.

“You know all the good spots don’t you?” Tara unbuckled her seat belt when he parked.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He shrugged. He looked at her for a minute and pulled her face to his.

“God, I missed you.” Tara breathed and put her arms around him.

“I missed you too.” He replied and pulled her towards him more. She got out of her seat and straddled him on the driver’s side. She accidentally hit the car horn, which gave them both a start, and then they began to laugh.

“Maybe this isn’t the best spot to be.” Tara laughed. Eric leaned his seat back a little and pulled it back. Tara kissed him again and reached her hands up under his shirt. His skin felt smooth and warm, she loved how he felt when she touched him. “There is really nothing in the world quite like touching someone you love and being able to just feel that they love you too. Just know it from the way their body feels.” She once told a friend, she did not retract that statement now.

“Eric, I go through the week and it is hell. It seems like there is absolutely no hope for the world and things are never going to work out for me… then I’m with you, in your arms, and I feel that everything is going to be ok after all.” She whispered in his ear. Eric did not say anything but kept kissing her and caressing her body thirstily with his hands. Tara reached down and unzipped his pants. With a movement that would qualify her for any three-ring circus’ acrobatic act in the world she managed to get her panties down enough to serve her purpose and pushed Eric inside her. He let out a groan of appreciation. Tara was fascinated by the way they moved together as a unit, like they were one giant machine working towards producing the ultimate expression of love. It sounded sappy when she thought it out, but that is really what it was. This was how people showed that they loved each other in that rare and exclusive way that almost everyone in the world dreamed of someday feeling. She felt so lucky to have finally found the one who she could share such feelings with.

When the act was over Tara stayed where she was for a while with Eric still inside her, holding and kissing him. Just staying connected that way was strangely intimate and just as meaningful to her as the actually act itself had been. Tara was a little surprised and thrilled when she felt Eric begin to harden again and knew that they would repeat the act again so soon. This time they both breathed heavier and bucked against each other harder, greedily trying to reach the end and hoping it didn’t come too soon.

After the second time Tara felt a little sore and knew she had been reckless for not using protection twice in a row. She separated herself from him and returned to her place in the passenger seat.

“I think we missed the movie.” Eric pointed to the clock in the car. Tara shrugged.

“I think I enjoyed this more. Don’t you?” She asked. He nodded. She let out of sigh and looked out the window.

“Is something wrong?” Eric ran his fingers through her hair, tangled and stringy from perspiration.

“It’s not important.” She shook her head.

“No what. You can tell me anything you know.”

“It’s just school. The closer I get to the end, the more I feel like I am going to hit a brick wall when I get there. I don’t know that there really is any escape… you know?” She glanced at him and he nodded for her to continue. “There were these two boys talking about me the other day in the hall… saying how I was chunky and my ass was big.” Eric made a sound of disapproval. “ I’ve been thinking about it and it really surprises me. Is that all anyone can see about me? Doesn’t anyone see all the other things just below the surface? It just scares me sometimes.” She shrugged.

“Anyone who can not see how beautiful and intelligent and talented you are… isn’t worth you thinking about them. Those guys will still be flipping hamburgers in ten years and you… you could be anywhere you want to be. There is no end to the talents hiding in this strange and beautiful exterior.” He took her hand. “Which has a very nice ass if I do say so myself and who else knows it better?” He pinched her. She jumped.

“Cut that out. Drive me home slave.” She pointed back down the dirt road.

“Oh, I’ll drive you home alright.” He grinned and pulled her close to him again. She laughed and gave into the temptation to make love once again.