"How do the other guys feel about your solo album Nick?," asked Matt Lauer from the today show.
I smiled,"They like it. They understand that this is something I've been wanting to do. Kevin even called, singing, "I Got You" and said that it was his favorite song off the album."
Matt Lauer smiled and nodded,"So, you all are still close?"
I inwardly groaned, I hate that question, but everyone seems insistant on asking it. So, I answered with my usual answer. "Of course, we're brothers and we support each other in everything." That seemed to satisfy him, so he moved onto talking about the tracks on Now or Never.
'Finally, it's over!,' I thought. I usually love talking to the press and all, but this just was not one of those times. 'Brothers, yeah right!,' I silently scoffed. 'Brothers don't screw your fiances!,' I mentally raged. I shook my head to clear the thoughts and prepared for the song I would be singing.
"And, here is Nick Carter, performing "Help Me" off of his solo debut album Now or Never!" I heard Matt Lauer say, before the camera switched to Nick.
"I wish I could define
All the thoughts that cross my mind
They seem to big for me to choose
I don't know which ones to lose
When I've fallen down so far
I think I'll never see your light
Bouncing off of me
Shining down here from your eyes."
"He's good," said AJ. I smiled slightly and nodded.
"Well, at least we know that he listens to our messages, even if he doesn't call back." Kevin responded.
"I just wish that he would talk to me," I sadly said.
Howie sighed,"He will in time. But, you can't expect him to forget what happened in a couple of months, it's going to take time."
"Yeah, I mean, if you and Leighanne want to have an open marriage, that's your choice. But, you could've found someone else to sleep with for all those months, not Nick's fiance." AJ tried tp explain gently.
I nodded,"I'm not dumb, I know that!"
"Then, why did you do it?," questioned Kevin.
I sighed,"I dunno. She was there and she kept flirting with me. I kept resisting, but finally I gave in, I know it was a really idiotic thing to do."
"Just give Nick some time," said Howie. I nodded and went back to watching the performance.
"Help me figure out
why I'm stuck in the middle
Tryin' to understand why I can't
Why it's such a riddle?
Got my eyes crossed, thinking so hard
And I know I'm missing the mark
Can you help me sort out all this information
I'm just racking my brain, paying attention
But I'm still lost and at all cost I...I got to know."
I smiled and said,"Thank you!" I was hyper from the performance, and jumped off the stage, with my bodygaurd there waiting on me. I hugged fans and signed autographs for a few minutes before I had to leave. An hour later I was on a plane, going to LA, California.
"Nick, get up!" Marcus, my bodygaurd, said, while shaking my arm.
I groggily opened my eyes,"Okay. I'm up." When we deboarded the plane, I saw hundreds of fans outside the gates, screaming. I smiled and waved as I ran into the airport, searching for my family.
"Nick!," yelled Aaron.
I smiled and ran over to them,"Hey all!"
"Hey son," said my father Bob.
"You did great on The Today Show hunny," said my mother Jane.
"Thanks!"
"Where's Kimmy?," asked BJ.
I sighed,"I need to talk to you all about that when we get home."
They all looked at him and Leslie said,"Well, we're ready when you are."
I smiled,"Let's go then."
"So, what happened with Kimmy?," asked Angel when we were all seated in my parents livingroom an hour later.
I sighed,"Well...the engagement is off."
"What? Why?," asked my mother.
"Because, I found her with another man two months ago ," I started.
They all looked at me with wide eyes and Aaron asked,"What man?"
I didn't really want to tell them it was Brian, so I just said,"It was a guy I thought was my friend. But, I found out that night that they'd been sleeping together for months." 'I will not cry! I've already cried over them!,' I screamed at myself. I felt myself tearing up, but I held them in.
"Oh Nicky, I'm sorry!," said Angel.
"Thanks," I said as she hugged me.
"Better you found out before the wedding son," my father said.
"Yeah," I said with a sigh.
A week later I was at AJ and Sarah's house for a cookout, along with the other guys, Leighanne, and Kristin. "I tried to call Nick again today, but he's having his calls forwarded." I said.
"Why do you keep trying? He's not going to talk to you," Leighanne said. "He didn't even come and see the baby last month." I looked at Baylee, my newborn son, that I held in my arms and smiled.
"I know that, but I can't blame him for being mad."
Leighanne shrugged,"Whatever. I think he's making too big a deal out of it." The others all looked at her and she looked confussed,"What?"
"How can you say that?," demanded Kristin. "Just because you and Brian have an open marriage, doesn't mean that everyone wants that. I for one would kill Kevin if he ever cheated on me." Kristin added.
"I hope he's okay though. He looks fine on television, but we all know that Nick's good at hiding his true feelings," Sarah said with concern.
"I'm sure he's fine baby," AJ said, while putting his arm around her. "You all want to go in and watch some movies or something?," asked AJ.
"Sure, why not?," stated Howie. We all went inside and I laid Baylee in his basinet, before taking a spot on the couch beside Leighanne.
"I'll see if there's anything good on," Sarah said as she started flipping through the channels.
"That's Nick!," said Howie when Sarah reached MTV.
"Turn it up," said Kevin.
"Welcome back to Nick: All Access! For those of you just tuning in, we have Nick Carter here with us today and we're talking about his life. Before Backstreet, during Backstreet, and now that he's gone solo. We're also showing video clips and we will be premeiring his new video "Do I Have To Cry(For You)?," said Carson Daly. "Why don't you introduce your new music video to the audience Nick?," Carson said.
"Alrighty! This is my new music video "Do I Have To Cry?," and I hope you all enjoy!" I said with a big smile. 'Seems like everyone's enjoying it,' I thought as I watched the audience's reactions.
When it was over, Carson said, "Does anyone have any comments on the video?" Several people raised their hands and Carson walked over to a young girl and asked,"What did you think?"
The girl smiled,"I loved it! Great job Nick!"
I smiled at her and threw her a wink,"Thanks sweetheart." She blushed and sat down. After Carson went through a few more opinions from people, he came back up on the stage, and sat down next to me.
"You're performing today, correct?"
I nodded,"Yep. There was a poll on my website where people could vote which song they wanted me to perform on the show today. The songs were "Help Me," "I Got You," "Payback," and "Blow Your Mind."
"Which one won?," asked Carson.
I gave a slight smile,"Payback came out the winner. So, that's the one I'll be doing!"
I laughed as the audience went wild and after it quieted down, Carson asked,"Is there a special meaning to this song?"
I slightly nodded,"It has meaning to me. It's based on a friend I used to have and they know who they are."
Carson nodded,"Okay." He turned to the audience,"Are you READY?!" The audience started cheering, while I walked upto the mic.
"It's a payback
Get outta my face
Get outta my pocket
Get off of your free ride
And get right out of my sight
It's a payback
Get off of my case
Get off of my lady
Get into your fat Mercedes
And right outta my life [2x]
You walk in, right into my world
Right into my backyard
I gave to you all that I got
You gave to me jack
And you pretend
To be my friend
But you're surrounded
When all this time you're turning
A knife in my back
[Chorus]
How does it feel to be down on your knees
Payback
[Chorus]
When I was through singing, everyone was applauding and cheering.
"That song was about me," I said sadly.
"Well?," asked Howie after I'd hung up.
(* Lyrics used from "Help Me" and "Payback" by Nick Carter *)
Back to the Backstreet Boys Fan Ficion
Tell me, how does it feel for ya
How does it feel to be down on your knees
Tell me, how does it feel for ya
I'm chillin' with the boys from the south
Better make a word cause you know it's gonna go down
I say everything that you say
And by the way did you say that you couldn't make a better day
Better leave real quick cause you know me
Everything I do, everything I fake
It's a payback, and it's all
Better listen to the words of the song
That you feel bad about it
You make it up to me
There ain't no doubt about it
You must think I'm a fool
That I was born yesterday
Some kinda simple sucker
There's nothing you can say
You stupid mother...
Payback"
Carson smiled and said,"Seems like you put a lot of emotion into that song."
I shrugged,"It's emotional for me."
"Well, Nick, thank you for being here today."
I smiled,"No prob Carson. I had a great time!"
"You don't know that," Kevin said.
I shook my head,"Stop trying to make me feel better. It was and we all know it." I reached for my cell phone.
"What are you doing?," asked Howie.
"I'm calling Nick, I'm going to try talking to him again."
"He's not going to answer when he sees your number," Leighanne replied.
I shrugged,"I don't care. I have to make things right between us."
Just then Nick answered,"Hello Brian."
"How'd you kow it was me?," I asked.
"Caller id, plus you've been calling everyday," Nick answered.
I sighed,"I know. But, I really want to make things right. I heard that song today and I know who you were talking about."
"It was about you Brian. Look, man, you really hurt me. I thought I could trust you with my life and then you go and mess around with my fiance behind my back."
I frowned,"I know Nick. I royally messed up, and I can't say sorry enough. I miss our friendship, and the other guys miss you too."
"I just didn't feel comfortable talking to them when I wasn't talking to you. I'm going to be honest with you, I've missed our friendship too. And, I'm willing to try to forgive you, but I can never forget what you did. I just don't think that out friendship will ever be the way it was. The trust is gone, and I'm sorry that it happened. From now on we're simply Nick and Brian. Frick and Frack are dead. Look, I'm getting ready to board a plane for Louisianna, I'll call you when I get home next week and we can talk. Bye." I felt the tears brimming in my eyes and before I could utter a word, the line was disconnected.
I took a shaky breath,"He said that he'd call me when he gets home next week and that we could talk. But, from now on we're just Nick and Brian. We're not Frick and Frack, and the trust is gone. I don't think we'll ever be best friends again."
Kevin patted my back,"I'm sorry cuz. But, at least he's willing to talk to you now."
I smiled,"Yeah."
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